Soft Skills: Essential For The Workplace. Essential For Life!

When Red first heard Black talking about the importance of "soft skills," she didn't even know what she was referring to, let alone that they would be important to her life. So, Black explained that it was a term used to describe intangible but essential skills, such as critical thinking and problem-solving, communication, and conflict management.

Red, trying to be sarcastic, then asked if there was such a thing as “hard skills". Black, matter-of-factly, told her those are tangible and technical skills such as computer skills.

Of course, Black couldn’t pass up an opportunity for sarcasm. She explained that although there’s consensus about the importance of soft skills, there’s debate about what they should be called. Her favorite? When we were developing our soft skill curriculum, the Texas Education Agency (TEA) called them "21st Century Skills" … although she's old enough to remember they were important in the 20th Century, too.

But would anyone call them “Mom Skills”? Well, Red couldn’t help but remember the time Black told her, “Your job is every bit as demanding as a corporate position, and, in fact, you use many of the same skill sets.” Not something Red could ever have imagined, but it made sense once she better understood what soft skills are and how they are used. But then Black took it a step further,

Soft skills are transferable — between your personal life and the workplace (and from industry to industry). If you recognize that interpersonal relations have existed since Adam and Eve (or “caveman” days), technical skills are constantly changing, and there is no way to predict the careers of the future … it is easy to see why soft skills will always be needed.

It's funny, but now that Red’s familiar with soft skills, she not only recognizes them in day-to-day living but sees the impact they have (and the problems caused when they’re lacking). That’s why this website not only has SOFT SKILLS as a LIBRARY topic, but explains why it’s one of Black's Passion Projects.

Here are some of our favorite posts showing how soft skills affect us on a daily basis (OK, the Ferrari one about negotiating skills may not affect many people, but the message will):

COMMUNICATION: It's June ... Blah-Blah-Blah Or Bullet Points?
LEADERSHIP: RED & BLACK … Leaders All Around Us
MOM SKILLS: Translating Mom Responsibilities
NEGOTIATION: A Perfect Day For A Convertible. And For Chutzpah.
PERSUASION: The Fact Is … Don’t Use Facts
PROBLEM-SOLVING: One Person’s Problem … Is Another’s Challenge?!

Soft Skills

Words & Banter

Red Then. Red Now.

From back flap of our book, “What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!” Photographer unknown.

Long before we had an ABOUT page, readers met Red not only through the back flap of our bestselling book, What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!, but because her crisis was the book’s title! But a lot has happened since Black turned her crisis into a book — a brand — a business. Including a lot of growing up.

And Red? Still warm and fuzzy. Just a lot less sheltered.

WHAT WE SAID THEN

When we started working on the book, Red couldn’t find a photo of her and the girls, so they posed for one in the fall of 2004. Later, our book editor captured Red this way:

After getting a degree in Theater Arts, Red moved back in with her parents until she married an outgoing Englishman and followed his career around the globe. Now she lives in Sugar Land, a suburban city on the outskirts of Houston, Texas. Red is a warm and fuzzy mom whose life revolves around her two red-headed girls. With Red, it's all about the feelings.

WHAT WE DIDN’T KNOW THEN …

We knew Red was used to letting others take the lead. We didn’t know that once she took control, she’d discover how much she was capable of.

We knew her life revolved around her two red-headed girls. We didn’t know how much growing up was still ahead — for them and for Red.

We knew Red had learned a lot when her husband got fired. We probably should have known she’d want to use what she learned to help others.

And we described Red as “warm and fuzzy” and “all about the feelings. ”Still true. She’s just learned that sometimes warm and fuzzy isn’t enough.

AND THERE’S A STORY BEHIND THE PHOTO …

What makes this seemingly ordinary photo remarkable? Red’s in front of the camera!

She was almost always the one behind the camera, so when we needed a photo of her for the book, it had to be staged. In fact, she’s not even sure who took the photo.

At the time, it was simply a photo we needed. Looking at it now, it’s more than that. It captured Red in the middle of the life she’d always dreamed about — and when her girls were still young and being their mom was the center of her world.

She knew they would grow up. She just didn’t know how quickly that picture would become a memory.

A lot has changed since that photo was taken. Including Red.

Red & Black

Words & Banter

Comparing Red & Black

Same family. Very different approaches to life.

Red is warm and fuzzy. Black is pragmatic and sarcastic.

Red leads with her heart. Black leads with her head.
Red wants to talk it through. Black wants to solve it.
Red gives you the context. Black gives you the bottom line.

Which sounds more like you?

Which brings us to one of our favorite examples: When we had to explain the differences between us for the Introduction to What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!, Red wrote pages with her usual blah-blah-blah. Black gave the book designer a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet.

Funny thing is that over the years, readers have not only told us which of us they’re more like, but also gone so far as to identify the “Reds” and “Blacks” in their own families. We even had a few who nicknamed themselves (one was “Brown,” another was “Bald”).

So, are you more like Red or Black? Or somewhere in between?

comparing sisters

Words & Banter

Finding Balance … With A Traffic Light?

Red assets.rebelmouse.io	I know everyone’s always trying to find balance in their life. I thought becoming an empty nester would make that easier, but apparently not. The girls may be grown, but being a mom doesn’t end when your children move out. Between them, Red & Black, and my seemingly endless lists of things to do, I still struggle.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	And, as I am a die-hard workaholic who admits to not having a life, you think I have the answer?
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	Excellent point. Never mind.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	However, I do have some suggestions … although I will preface it with, "Do as I say, not as I do."

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finding balance

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For Red & Black Banter in your inbox ...

Red assets.rebelmouse.io	At this point, I'll take whatever help I can get.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Sometimes you need to make a conscious effort to stay present. And, by that I mean appreciate what is happening now instead of thinking about what is next. Or, reminiscing about the past.
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	That sounds good, but it also sounds overly simplistic, not to mention highly optimistic. And where would I even start?
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Easy. It really is as simple as 1 – 2 – 3.
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	Nothing's that simple.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	1. SLOW down and look around 2. STOP using your gizmo and consider putting it away 3. GO spend time with family or friends, or steal some "alone time"
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	Actually, that does sound simple. Now I just have to remember to SLOW – STOP –GO.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Just imagine a traffic light. Plus, it would have the added benefit of every time you see a real traffic light, it will remind you to SLOW –STOP – GO.
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	I should've known there'd be a car or driving analogy in there somewhere.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Throttle on ...