Ok, let’s be clear (pun intended) … Communication is critical. Whether in your personal life or in business, not to mention communication skills are transferable between the two (Black even suggested Red hold family “business” meetings). And what better time to work on how we communicate, and maybe even have a new attitude toward vocabulary and “50-cent words” (Red loves those, but terminology scares her!?), than during Effective Communications Month.

Talking isn't the same as communicating. And hearing isn't the same as listening. Think about it.

BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: Being an effective communicator, whether in our personal lives or at work, is a critical skill but one-size-doesn't-fit-all as we each use very different methods and styles … ranging from lots of words and talking stuffed animals (Red) to bullet points and racing flags (Black).


When Red learned that June was Effective Communications Month, she had to laugh, as the first thought that popped into her head was,

Oh, Black will have a field day with this given my tendency to blah-blah-blah. Plus, I don't know how many times she's told me that whatever point I'm trying to make often gets lost in my "sea of words". Of course, when she's told me this in person, I get the added emphasis of seeing her roll her eyes. At least, it's not what I call "The Look", which is a step beyond the rolling of her eyes when you can only imagine what she's thinking, but you know it's not good. But, I digress, which, I guess, is part of my communication "challenge".

The fact Red's warm and fuzzy, and likes to couch her words (whether spoken or written) so as not to hurt anyone's feelings, and to provide full explanations to avoid misunderstanding, is a good thing but is still only half the equation. Communication requires both the sending – and the receiving – of a message. But if the other party isn't listening, it falls on … well, deaf ears. Which often means you repeat yourself (oh, and we all know how our tone of voice changes when we're saying something for the millionth time), and although it may initially have been said with good intentions, ends up being seen as nagging.

Black, on the other hand, has never been accused of being quiet or shy, and given her extremely pragmatic business-like personality, has a much more direct communication style. Some of which Red recognizes can be useful,

I've often said that you write, talk, and probably even dream in bullet points. And while I might think of them as "abrupt" at times, there's no question that they provide a very clear and succinct way of communicating. Which is why I preface some of my longer emails that cover lots of topics and explanations, with, "I'm borrowing some of Black's beloved bullet points …"

So, what's the most effective method? Well, you can spend hours on the internet reading countless articles about the benefits of effective communications, the various types of communications (not everything is verbal and written – think about things like body language and facial expressions), and ways to improve communication skills, but Black tends to look at things slightly backward …

The reality is that we each have our own style of communicating, but we need to remember that communication is a two-way street, and the objective is connecting with other people, and sharing thoughts and ideas. Sometimes the best way to get our point across is to work backward and think how the other person will receive what we want to express. And then listening, truly listening, to their feedback.

Would you hate someone because they preferred rum raisin or coffee ice cream over vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry? There’s a reason Baskin-Robbins, famous for initially starting with 31 flavors, was so successful. Because we’re not all alike, and we don’t all like the same things. We don’t know about you, but we choose our friends based on who they are, not what ice cream flavor they like. Or their sexual orientation. And you don’t have to be part of the LGBTQ community to celebrate Pride Day and Pride Month because recognizing, respecting, and celebrating our differences is something to take pride in every day.

And we’re proud to rerun our post on Pride Day from last year …

You can't say this isn't personal … because that's exactly what it is.

BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: Red, the history lover, felt she should have known about Pride Day, which ultimately led to Pride Month, but Black thinks the history isn't as important as accepting and celebrating the LGBTQ community.

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In May, when there was a leak of a draft opinion of the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade, we started preparing ourselves for the court to officially overturn the 1973 decision. And it happened.

Trying to stay neutral and not voice our personal opinions about abortions (not an easy thing to do), we still find ourselves filled with a combination of sadness, confusion, anger, and deep concern. Especially as the court’s ruling impacts not only women but the country as a whole, including our standing in the eyes of world leaders.

Red, as a mom to two girls in their 20s, can’t help but think of how it takes away women’s rights to make decisions over their own bodies and gives it to the states in which they live, making them almost second-class citizens. Even recognizing her tendency to be warm and fuzzy, after hearing of the decision, Red finds herself more emotional than she thought she’d be.

Black is flat-out frightened, which is out of character for her. As she initially expressed below (back in March), after the overturning of Roe v. Wade, the future of a wide range of rights provided to us are at risk of being taken away … by a majority vote of nine people who we never elected to represent us. And as much as Black likes to be right, in this instance, she’s hoping to be wrong …

There’s an expression … throwing out the baby with the bathwater. Well, Supreme Court decisions on “babies” (well, technically fetuses) may also impact its integrity.

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This name comes with a warning ...

BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: Yes, climate’s a “hot” topic, but summer has only started (marked by the summer solstice), and Red’s already whining about the heat, while Black considersthe logic of naming heat waves. (Really! But it’s not her idea.)

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