People have told us they're using our sisterly banter to start conversations with others (family, friends, and even in classrooms), so Black created "Conversation Starters". Stay tuned as we'll be introducing new topics on a regular basis!
| I have to tell you that when I first moved to Houston, I was not only totally clueless about how to deal with hurricanes, but was really scared of them. Years later, it's not like I welcome them, and after having to evacuate from Hurricane Harvey, I still can feel myself stressing out at the mere mention of a potentially serious hurricane coming our way. But, at least, I have my beloved lists, and year-round I have many things already in place (non-perishable food, plenty of water, candles, and extra batteries) plus last-minute items (keeping all my gizmos charged, gas in the car), the lists go on and on. But when last month's Texas winter storm was first forecast, it caught me off guard as I realized that a prolonged cold weather event has its own range of serious issues not typically experienced in Houston and the surrounding areas – like how to protect pipes and deal with loss of power when you have sub-zero temperatures for a long period of time. It's frustrating because although I'm a planner and love my lists, I felt totally unprepared. | |
| What happened in the Houston area, and Texas, during that storm is inexcusable and was avoidable. And embarrassing as it was such a massive "fail" of a major point of state pride: energy independence. For individuals, there is a limit to what you can do for a rare event such as a historic winter storm as our houses and apartments were never constructed for extreme cold. I, too, was as prepared as possible but there comes a point where you have to recognize that somethings are totally out of your control. And, all you can control is how you deal with the situation. Within a few hours of my high-rise losing power (we frequently lose power), I booked a room in a hotel down the street that still had power as I would rather have a room that I did not need versus needing one and not be able to get it (the hotel was totally booked within hours). I know that I was extremely fortunate – for many reasons. Unfortunately, many people were left with minimal or no options. Hopefully, Texas will start taking action now in order to be better prepared for next time … |
CONVERSATION STARTERS
- How much can you prepare for the unexpected without driving yourself (and others around you) crazy?
- What potential weather-related events can cause disruptions to your life? Do you have an emergency plan in place? If not, why not? If so, do you review them on a regular basis?
- Hindsight should be 20-20. Did you learn anything from this storm (or other weather events) that will help you be better prepared for future events? If so, what?
Over the years (and much to our surprise), we’ve found that many of the ideas and approaches Black shared with Red to help her deal with an assortment of topics are resonating with people of all ages. (Red will be the first to tell you that Black sees things differently than most people … while Black just sees herself as extremely pragmatic.) It may be because many are what Red describes as "instantly actionable" items or “duh” moments. Others may simply get you to stop and think. But that, too, is a good thing. So, we created this LEARNING FOR LIFE section.
LOTS OF LISTS
Red will be the first to admit that she’s learned that lists for the sake of having lists is not productive. But over the years, we’ve been told our lists are often valuable checklists. Some were ones Black created for Red when she was going through her “crisis” (Red’s word, not Black’s), while others were created when we were teaching at KIPP Houston High School. But over the years, we’ve developed ones in response to conversations we’ve had with people, although Black may come up with lists just to get you thinking.
CONVERSATION STARTERS
People told us they’re using our sisterly banter to start conversations with others — family, friends, at work, and even in classrooms — so Black created CONVERSATION STARTERS. Each provides our perspectives but then lists some “leading questions” to get the conversation started.
We all have those days when we feel life is out of control, so we’ll continue to provide you with information and tools that we hope you’ll not only enjoy and find useful, but also want to share.
Technically, they’re weekly newsletters, but readers have told us they get them thinking — get them talking — get them taking action, so sign up on the "sticky bar" at the bottom of the page.
People have told us they’re using our sisterly banter to start conversations with others (family, friends, and even in classrooms), so Black created “Conversation Starters”.
The first time we posted this may have been the first time Red thought about the difference between being thankful and having gratitude. And it started a new Thanksgiving tradition (Black prefers to think of it as a “habit”) …
| I’m really looking forward to Thanksgiving this year, especially since last year was the first since Mom passed away, and the dining room table seemed incomplete. Which may partially explain why we ended up sitting around the kitchen table and island instead. And that was wonderful – so relaxed, easy, and fun – but I still couldn’t help but think of her not being with us. It’s funny because, over the years, even as life changed, such as the girls growing up and going off to college, I’ve always taken for granted that Thanksgiving would somehow always remain the same, cooking the same dishes, with all the preparation beginning days in advance. So, I'm not sure that I truly stopped and appreciated each Thanksgiving Day as I was so focused on everything I needed to get done. This year, though, I plan to take a moment to stop and think about some of the things I'm thankful for, and to start appreciating the day itself. To try to "be present", so to speak, in the present. |
| I know that Thanksgiving is about giving thanks, but what you just described is gratitude. Gratitude is "deeper" than thankfulness, and the best way I can describe it is … think about when you might write a thank you note – someone gives you something or does something for you. It is a fleeting event. Now think about if you were to write someone a note or letter of appreciation. You have repeatedly told me that mere mortals often need reminders, so what if this Thanksgiving you start a "gratitude habit"? Make a daily appointment with yourself to find a few quiet moments and write down at least one thing for which you are grateful. It can be as simple as sunlight on your face or the crunch of an apple. You are probably rolling your eyes right now, but it will only take a few minutes and can change your life. Or, at least, how you look at it. |
THE CONVERSATION STARTERS
- If you look back, what or who would you appreciate (or appreciate more) that you didn’t at the time?
- If you begin to appreciate the value of appreciation (pun intended), what might you want to be mindful of going forward?
- Do you think a "gratitude habit" might be useful? Would you be willing to "test-drive" (Black's words) one for a month and see if your opinion changes? Explain your answers.
People have told us they're using our sisterly banter to start conversations with others (family, friends, and even in classrooms), so Black created "Conversation Starters".
Not only is Christmas less than a week away, but so is Chanukah (the first night is on Christmas Day). And although we wrote this Conversation Starter years ago, we seem to have this same conversation every year.
| I can't believe how quickly the holidays are flying by. On one hand, all I want to do is enjoy them as I love this time of year. But I can't because there always seems so much to do. And I'm afraid that if I don't do everything on my holiday "to-do" list, I'll disappoint people, including me. You don't have this problem as you don't have kids and you live alone, plus others aren't looking to you to make the holidays festive and memorable. | |
| You seem to start with your "to-do" list, whereas I think about the significance of the holiday and what will make it meaningful and memorable. Yes, it is a more pragmatic approach, but it makes the planning so much easier. You know that I dislike the over-commercialization of holidays, but it does provide a reminder that it is important to let others know how much you appreciate them. |
THE CONVERSATION STARTERS
- What's most important to you during the holidays? Why?
- Describe your "perfect" (yet realistic) holiday celebration. What it would take to make it come true?
- If you celebrate with others, have you ever discussed what's important to them?
P.S. – Since this is being posted in the midst of
the December holiday season (what Red refers to as the "silly season"), you
might be interested in these recent posts:


Black assets.rebelmouse.io 
Don’t Expect A Compliment From A Sarcastic Sister — But Have A Comeback