RED & BLACK ... Stop. Think. Enjoy.

Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Red assets.rebelmouse.io

Well, it seems I barely got the Thanksgiving decorations put away and I was putting out Chanukah menorahs. Which means the year's almost over. Where did it go?

Black assets.rebelmouse.io

You say that every year. But this year, I think everyone wants the year to be over.

Red assets.rebelmouse.io	Now there's an understatement! But I still love this time of year. I just wish I could enjoy it more, but I know that the days will just fly by. Chanukah comes mid-month and I'll barely be able to celebrate it before making sure that I'm prepared for Christmas and then New Year.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	That is the holiday tradition, exhaust yourself getting "ready" for the holidays. Then, try your best to actually enjoy the holiday, which will be a challenge unto itself given the pandemic. And then, feel relief, and maybe a little sadness, when it is over.
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	You sound like a modern-day Scrooge.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	If that were the case, I would have mentioned the people who go through the holiday season feeling overwhelmed, lonely, or even depressed. Which is probably more this year than usual.
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	You're not helping the situation. I'm already feeling overwhelmed. Between parenting, work, and managing the challenges of the coronavirus, the holidays just add more things to my already long to-do list with deadlines that can't slide.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Correct me if I am wrong, but I thought the holiday season was supposed to be about spending quality time with family and friends. A time of fun and joy. Of giving and sharing. Of hope. And, maybe even magical. And, yes, I appreciate that the pandemic will require being creative, but it can still be done.
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	What's going on? You're talking about feelings! You're supposed to be the pragmatic one.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	No need to be concerned. Remember, I am the one who can talk about relationships and take emotions out of the picture.
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	Which always makes me laugh. You're truly the only person I've ever known who can use bullet points to explain relationships.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	But, do they make sense?
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	Yes, but what does that have to do with the holidays?
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Everything. Think about it.
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	I hate when you won't just answer my question.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	No, you hate when I make you think. Do you remember the first bullet point?
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	Yes. It's about understanding your values and priorities – totally independent of the other person. But the holidays are about giving and sharing. They're about family and friends. Even you said that.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	True. But, first you have to get back to basics and determine what is important to you. Otherwise, you get too wrapped up in all the details and forget the big picture. And, it is all the details which cause the stress and fatigue.
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	No kidding. Tell me about it.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	One thing leads to another on your list. Then you start adding things you would like to do if you have the time, which somehow become things you feel you have to do. The next thing you know, you have totally unrealistic expectations. Layer on top the over-commercialization of the holiday season and you now are set up for failure instead of success. And, that does not even address the financial aspects, and associated stress, of the holidays.
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	When I said, "Tell me about it," I was agreeing with you -- not really asking you to tell me about it.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Too late now. You know how literal I can be. Lists aside, can you think of one or two things that you look forward to every holiday season?
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	That's easy. The first is I always make a conscious effort to spend more time with the girls. It can be as simple as just watching TV with Sawyer or FaceTiming with Natasha. The second is making a little time for me, which this year will mean being creative since I can't escape to the movies.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	We both know it is not the movie – it is the movie popcorn. Anyway, the answer is "yes." Now, can you think of one or two unimportant things that are on your holiday to-do list just because they have always been on your list?
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	Yes. Definitely more than one or two.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Does your list have any of those "it would be nice if I had spare time" items that you know will not happen?
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	Of course, it does. I see what you're doing. You're making me admit that even though I understand and talk about focusing on what's really important, I sometimes forget to stop and think about it.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	I was not asking for an admission of guilt, I was merely helping you remember to … Stop. Think. And, most importantly … Enjoy.

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A Love Of Movies. Or Popcorn?

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It's a running joke in my family that the only reason I go to the movies is for the popcorn. And while that isn't 100% true, it's probably close, as I can't remember a time when popcorn wasn't an essential part of the experience.

I can still remember seeing Mel Brooks' "Young Frankenstein" when it was first released (in 1974) at the Massapequa movie theater, which was literally at one end of an old strip shopping center. It bore no resemblance to today's multiplex cinemas, and the concession stand offerings were very limited. It was dark and a bit dingy, and the seats were old and uncomfortable. But I didn't care because the popcorn more than made up for it. And while I sat through multiple showings of the movie (it's still one of my favorites), I was grateful my dad had given me enough money to buy multiple popcorns, as in those days there was no such thing as the big bucket, let alone free refills.

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We Fondly Call Them … Our Guinea Pigs

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Every time we see the photo above of our "guinea pigs", it brings back such fond memories. You may be thinking, "What? Are they calling those students guinea pigs?!" Well, actually, yes. And before you think ill of us, please know that we use the term with great affection, deep gratitude, and utmost respect. And these eight amazing seniors from the Class of 2010 know that's our nickname for them because ...

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A Memory Lane Car Analogy?

Red loves to stop and reminisce. Black prefers to look forward.

But even Black will admit that sometimes there’s value in looking back — it reminds us where we came from, the detours and roadblocks we have managed to navigate, and that we may be stronger and more capable than we give ourselves credit for. Sometimes, it’s a lesson learned. Sometimes, it’s a memory that reminds us what’s truly important.

But Black has one caveat (and it's one of her favorite car analogies) …

If you decide to look back, keep it in perspective. There's a reason why windshields are so much larger than rearview mirrors.

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