Design by Sawyer Pennington

People have told us they're using our sisterly banter to start conversations with others (family, friends, and even in classrooms), so Black created "Conversation Starters". Stay tuned as we'll be introducing new topics on a regular basis!


Red's Head assets.rebelmouse.io


There's so much discussion right now about trying to change people's minds about getting vaccinated, but I'm not sure how you change people's minds about anything. Growing up, and actually up until my crisis when you forced me to do otherwise, my preference and tendency have always been to avoid conflict. And most of the time, I can still do that.

But I'm curious, since you're the debate queen, how do you change people's minds? I suppose you're going to tell me it takes having all your facts and figures ready, that no one wants to hear all the warm and fuzzy "logic". And, as the saying goes from the 1950s TV show Dragnet, "Just the facts, ma'am."


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io


Ironically, the key to changing someone's mind may be closer to your natural tendencies than you realize. First, I think we can agree that telling someone how wrong they currently are (or right you are) does not work, unless you want a debate – not a productive conversation.

But contrary to what you think I am going to suggest, I know that facts and figures can be intimidating and boring for most people. (I know it makes your eyes glaze over.) They are important, but not as important as meeting people where they are. Find something on which you agree versus being on opposing sides, and go from there. Try to understand WHY they see things differently from you and explain your position and why – but not by reciting facts. It may be how the issue is framed, or maybe not everything relevant was taken into consideration. Not surprisingly, this approach uses the same tactics that many successful salespeople use. Combine that with the fact (pun intended) that we are a story-telling society, and it becomes obvious that to changes someone's mind, you also have to touch them on an emotional level.

THE CONVERSATION STARTERS

  • Have you ever tried to change someone's mind? How did you approach it? Did it work?
  • Has anyone ever tried to make you change your mind? How did they approach it? Did it work? Why or why not?
  • What do you think of Black's approach to first find common ground? Is there's always common ground? If not, what can you do?
  • When trying to change someone's mind, do you think about WHY they believe what they do? Do you ask them to explain their position? Or, do you start out stating your position in an attempt to change their mind?


Rendering by porcorex on iStock


Red's Head assets.rebelmouse.io


Based on the "hints" in your Ghosting post, it sounds like your recent "romance" wasn't quite a Lady GaGa "bad romance", but, well, a frustrating one.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io


Interesting comparison, as years ago Gaga revealed that she is drawn to bad romances, but is not sure if she goes after them or they find her. Regardless, my "relationship" ended in the dating stage and never really became a romance. Either when I dated him almost 30 years ago, or recently. Although, this time, I thought it had potential.


Red's Head assets.rebelmouse.io


I was amazed that you were even willing to "rekindle" the relationship as you're not exactly a believer in "recycling" relationships, as I think you once phrased it. In fact, I thought you were pretty adamant about the concept of not repeating your mistakes.
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