|Well, this question immediately brings to mind the
rekindling of "Bennifer"
(nickname given to the celebrity romance of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez)
since it's been in the news so much. And
it's not only the TV talk shows but also some of the "news" shows. While many people are asking "Why now?" and "Why are so many people happy
about it?" I think it's pretty simple. Many people, especially women, are just romantics at heart, and whether
dramas or romantic comedies, most of us love a good love story. Full stop. And they often follow the same plotline – the couple meet, fall in love,
break up, but in the last scene, realize they've never stopped loving one
another, reconcile, and live happily ever after.
So, especially given what we've all been through with the pandemic, what could be better than a real-life love story with a happy ending? And if celebrities can do it, why can't we? Of course, it doesn't help that many people tend to reminisce about the good times, making it easy to over-romanticize a past relationship, especially if thinking about rekindling it.
|Without getting into all the studies on Socioemotional Selectivity Theory, the
bottom line is that as people get older, they focus on the time remaining and direct
their attention to positive thoughts and memories. Combine that with the emotional drain of the pandemic
and limited social interaction, and it is easy to understand why people go back
to their Rolodex (pre-technology
contact lists) rather than try to meet new people.|
Yes, there may be good reasons to go this route. For me, it would make me question the logic of trying again when something did not work in the past. The operative word in that sentence is "question" as I am a firm believer in asking questions, lots of questions. With my favorite one being, "Why?" So, while I cannot tell you why people are trying to rekindle old romances, I can encourage anyone doing so to ask themselves why they are doing it, including why it did not work the first time, and why they believe this time would be different.
As I write this, the New York Islanders are tied (1-1) against the Tampa Bay Lightning in the semi-final round of the Stanley Cup (the Super Bowl of ice hockey, although it has been around almost 75 years longer). Growing up on Long Island, I have been an Islanders fan since birth – the team's birth in 1972, having been introduced to ice hockey by my father, who had always been a huge New York Rangers fan.
Understandably, having another hockey team in the New York metropolitan area meant there would be a serious rivalry between the two fan bases. Including at our house. And, often at the kitchen table, although it did not include my mother. She was not a sports fan of any sort, let alone ice hockey, and was not even remotely interested in learning … although she should have created a "penalty box" somewhere in the house for when I misbehaved (which was often) but probably realized I would enjoy being sent there, which would only encourage my misbehavior.
The fact the Islanders only played the Rangers four times a season did not stop the discussions and debates. And, the number-crunching of statistics. (This was well before the internet, and they were not at your fingertips unless you saved, or memorized, the results in the newspaper). This would happen all through the season, and you can only imagine what it was like in 1975 when they faced each other in the Stanley Cup playoffs.
Even when I moved out of New York, I followed the Islanders, through highs and lows, and remember how frustrating it was to be living in the South during their historic early 80's run (and again being in the playoffs with the Rangers) surrounded by football fanatics. I would have to call home to talk hockey.
But my fondest hockey memories? Growing up, my father and I watched the games on television, so I will never forget my first live game. It was a regular-season Rangers game in Madison Square Garden (I do not remember the opposing team, so obviously it was not the Islanders), and I am not sure I ever saw my father so mesmerized by anything. Maybe it was being at a pro game at "The Garden" as he typically would not spend money on something as self-indulgent as sports tickets. Or, maybe it was because he had played ice hockey growing up, so it had special memories for him.
Which, in turn, created special memories for me, as I can remember being in awe of his skating abilities when he first taught me how to ice skate (on a frozen water reservoir) – he was as quick in reverse as going forward. Graceful and effortless in both directions. A very different side of him than what I would typically see at home or in his home office.
I also remember treating him years later, just before I went off to college, to an Islanders home game at the Nassau Coliseum. It was a relatively new stadium and has been home to the Islanders for almost their entire existence (this year's playoffs will be the end of that as they will be moving to a new stadium). But, it did not have the history of The Garden, and since we drove there, did not have that special feeling of getting off the Long Island Railroad and taking an escalator up to the game. But, none of that would matter, as the game will always have a special place in my heart,
It was the first, and only, time my father and I went to a game at the Coliseum, and although I do not remember who we played, I do remember us both shouting "Yes! Yes! Yes!" after every Islanders goal, and even louder after their win. And I cannot help but smile thinking about my father … and watching a diehard Rangers fan so excited about an Islander win.
Chapter 7: My Husband Gets In Hot Water – I Want To Make Soup!
One of the hardest lessons Red had to learn during her crisis (partially because she was adamantly resisting it) was one that Black couldn't believe she didn't already know – that marriage (and relationships) isn't all flowers and romantic dinners, but is about teamwork, with an emphasis on work. As well as realizing that life isn't fair, which means teamwork can be 50-50 one day and 90-10 the next.
P.S. – Over the years, Red learned that the concept of teamwork applies to families, not just marriages. Although she sometimes gets so focused on the challenges of being a single mom that she forgets Black's analogy about teamwork. So, falls back into the habit of acting (remember, she was a theater major) the martyr rather than being part of a team that works together.
|… Stop complaining that your life is no longer perfect. Shut up, suck it up and work at it.|
|Thanks for the sugar coating! And for the record, I don't mind the work. What I mind is that I feel like I'm the only one working.|
|That is because you are
doing more than you are used to doing and you do not think Nick is doing anything extra.|
|True. And I don't think
|Yes, it is. It all averages out. The first few years I was racing the Ferrari, my crew did not have to do much to the car on race weekends. Basically "nut and bolt" her, fill her with fuel, and clean the windshield. The car was new, I kept my nose clean and stayed out of accidents and away from the walls. Then late one afternoon I had a minor
"sharing of paint" with someone, and they needed to stay late and work on the car. I apologized to the crew. My
crew chief, Scott, explained that
was their job. The fact that it
had been easy up until then was fine, but
they were always prepared to do whatever it took to keep my car racing. A
marriage is no different.|
|I don't think you can compare racing a Ferrari to a marriage. One is an expensive hobby, and one is your life!|
|Really? Scott is in charge of making sure my race car is ready to be driven to its limit on a racetrack at speeds in excess of 150 miles per hour. If something goes wrong at that speed, things can get very ugly. And I have to be secure in knowing that the car is 100% race-ready. You cannot have doubts in your mind. I would say my relationship with Scott is as serious as a marriage, because every time I put my car on the track, I am trusting Scott with my life.|
|I never would have thought of it that way. So do you trust
Larry with your life?|
|Trust in a marriage is different. The point you need to understand is sometimes a marriage is a 50-50 partnership, and sometimes it requires one party to increase their usual workload to get through challenges. At the moment, you may feel like it is skewed, but even if it is 90-10, the important thing is you have to work together. That might mean that you have to bear a bit more of the "work" right now.|
|So I'm supposed to accept the fact I'm carrying more than my share of the work and let him get a free ride?|
|In a word, yes.|
How times change … there once was a fictional TV show called "Lost In Space" … now there's going to be a real-life "Seat In Space" …
BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: When Red heard that "mere mortals" (translation in this case meaning non-astronauts) were going to be launched into space, all she could think of was how that sounded both scary and exciting, whereas Black, unsurprisingly, had much more pragmatic thoughts.
When Red learned that it would be Jeff Bezos, the billionaire founder of Amazon, she admits that she first rolled her eyes thinking that it seems money really can buy you anything, although she questioned why he'd potentially put his life at risk for such a daring adventure. But Black explained to her that Blue Origin, the company behind it all, had been created by him not only as a childhood dream and passion project, but to solve what he sees as a social problem.
But when Red saw the video of Bezos and his brother, Mark, and, as someone extremely close to her sister, in addition to being a business partner with her, she was touched by Jeff's comment,
Ever since I was five years old, I've dreamed of traveling to space. On July 20th, I will take that journey with my brother. The greatest adventure, with my best friend.
Unliked Red, Black has been fascinated by space exploration efforts for years (Red's love of movies, including ones related to space travel, don't count), but from the business side more so than the science. So, she has followed the billionaire space tycoons, starting with Richard Branson and his company, Virgin Galactic, then Elon Musk and SpaceX, and now Jeff Bezos. And, although Black isn't the lover of history that Red is, she appreciates the significance of the carefully selected vehicle name and associated dates,
This mission is historic in terms of space tourism but also honors traditional space exploration. The auction was announced on May 5, the day that Alan Shepard made history in 1961 by becoming the first American to fly in space, and the launch vehicle is named the "New Shephard." It will be launched on July 20, the 52nd anniversary of astronauts Neil Armstong and Edwin "Buzz" becoming the first humans to land on the moon.
But when Bezos announced that he was auctioning off a seat on Blue Origin's first crewed flight, Black wondered whether the proceeds would be applied to the cost of the flight. So, she was impressed to learn the money would be donated to Blue Origin's foundation, Club for the Future, to support educational efforts to promote science and technology among young people and help invent the future of life in space. Although she couldn't help but wonder,
So, will the day come when Amazon Prime is making space deliveries?