Learning For Life

Talking To Myself … About Money?

Over the last month or so, I have been contacted by various people and organizations wondering how I managed to "teach" my 40+ year-old-sister about personal finance. (Yes, you can teach an old dog new tricks, especially if you are an even older dog.) It seems everyone is looking for a step-by-step guide or even lesson plans, but I realize the key to making smart financial decisions is to learn to talk to yourself. And then, if appropriate, expand the conversation to your significant other and/or family.

Upfront disclaimer: I am not a financial expert or a self-help guru. My sister had a crisis, and I did the best I could to help her. (OK, so I also turned it into a book, but that was because I thought it would make a good sitcom.) Which meant, much to her dismay, instead of giving her "answers" … I gave her questions. Lots of questions.


At the time, although Red and I love lists, I did not give her a list of questions, instead asking them when appropriate. However, I recently decided to compile a list of questions – some are ones I have asked my sister, some I have asked myself, while others appear in workbooks and curricula we developed for others. Different questions will resonate with different people, and you may come up with your own. (I did not include the entire list, as even I found it overwhelming.)

I appreciate that you may not want to answer these questions. So, how about a compromise? Just read through them. And, if you decide to answer any of them, you choose whether to talk to yourself, create a Word document to capture your answers (whether or not you ever plan to look back over it), or "journal" it.

The only rule? If you decide to answer a question, answer it honestly. And, if you do not like your answer, think about what you can do to change your behavior so that in the future you have a different (hopefully, better) answer.

QUESTIONS

    1. When Red initially tries to avoid learning about money, she uses the cliché "Ignorance is bliss," and I point out that "Ignorance is ignorance." Do you avoid money topics? If so, what is your reasoning?
    2. Have you ever felt overwhelmed (and frustrated) by a financial topic? Why? Was it the terminology? Did you think you needed a finance degree?
    3. Do you think being able to talk (not argue) about money is important in a relationship? Why is money such a difficult topic to discuss?
    4. Do you think your life would be different if you had a better understanding of personal finance? Why?
    5. Think of three childhood memories that involved money. Do they remind you of any current money behaviors?
    6. Think about the past and come up with five wonderful memories. What, if anything, did they cost?
    Design by Sawyer Pennington

    Sometimes, the hardest part of a meaningful conversation is simply getting started ...


    Red's Head Red assets.rebelmouse.io

    I love that people told us they were using our sisterly banter to start conversations with family, friends, coworkers, and even in classrooms. But I had to laugh when you then decided to create an assortment of CONVERSATION STARTERS.


    Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io

    It seemed logical to me. Begin with us looking at a real-life topic and providing our very different (to put it mildly) perspectives. Then, provide a few questions to help continue the conversation, consider other viewpoints, and perhaps learn something new. About the topic and one another.


    Red's Head Red assets.rebelmouse.io

    The best part is that there are no “right” or “wrong” answers. You may not agree, but you can still listen, be polite, and respect differing viewpoints and opinions. The point is to …
    Stop, think, listen, and talk.

    Red & Black Conversation Starters … Pick a topic. Read the banter. Choose a question that interests you. Or create your own. The questions are simply there to get the conversation started — where it goes from there is up to you.

    P.S. – Readers are telling us that our weekly newsletters are getting them thinking, talking, and even laughing. But don’t take our word for it, sign up at the bottom of this page and see for yourself!

    Design by Sawyer Pennington

    Our banter may start with two sisters, but it’s getting families, friends, and even classrooms talking.


    Red's Head assets.rebelmouse.io

    When I first heard the term "digital literacy," I wasn't exactly sure what it meant, but I'll admit that I feel like a dinosaur when it comes to technology, and usually turn to my daughters for help. I don't know if it's just generational, but I'm intimidated by my computer, and although I can do the basics, any time things go "wrong", I default into panic mode, followed by feeling lost and frustrated. And the thought of buying a new computer? Well, it gives me a headache — not only the cost but especially learning how to use it. And if I lose internet service, I feel disconnected from the world. (I guess that can sometimes be a good thing.)

    Then there's my cell phone, and I admit that smartphones often make me feel stupid. I remember when phones were landlines, and cordless was a big deal. Now I'm walking around with a small computer that also makes phone calls and takes photos. I've learned how to text, load some simple apps, and even how to set the alarm clock, but that's about it.


    Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io

    I know us "older" people think younger people are technology-savvy, but many are merely technology-dependent, which is very different. Technology is much more than access and setup. Being able to use computers, smartphones, and the internet covers a wide range of "basics" (such as emails and other communication tools, web browsers, and search engines), and there are specific computer skills that improve our productivity (such as word processing and spreadsheets). Plus, you often need web conferencing skills (like Zoom or other audio and video applications) to interview for a job.

    But, that is only the beginning. Since we live in a digital world, we need the skills to find and analyze information, and also make sure it is accurate and credible. (What is that adage, "Garbage in — garbage out"?) However, it is not only finding the right information, it is then knowing what to do with it. Including what and how to share.

    THE CONVERSATION STARTERS

    • How would you describe digital literacy? What skills do you think are necessary to manage daily life? To be successful in the workplace?
    • Why does using technology correctly seem so daunting?
    • What do you think is the best way to learn about technology and become digitally literate?
    • How do you decide whether online information is accurate and credible?

    P.S. – You might be interested in this animated video on Research & Analytical Skills we did as part of a soft skills series for The Greater Houston Partnership's UpSkill Houston initiative.

    Design by Sawyer Pennington

    Our banter may start with two sisters, but it’s getting families, friends, and even classrooms talking.


    Red's Headassets.rebelmouse.io


    People seem to disagree about everything these days. And instead of listening to one another, everyone seems determined to prove why they’re right.

    Growing up, and really until my crisis forced me to change (prompted by you, I might add), I’ve always preferred to avoid conflict. Still do. And most of the time, I can.

    But since you’re the “debate queen”, I’m curious. How do you change someone’s mind? I suppose you’re going to say it takes having all your facts and figures ready. Or as they used to say on the 1950s TV show Dragnet, "Just the facts, ma'am."


    Black's HeadBlackassets.rebelmouse.io


    Ironically, the key to changing someone’s mind may be closer to your natural tendencies than you realize. Start by listening, not correcting. Telling someone how wrong they are (or how right you are) is fun if you want to start a debate — but not if you genuinely want them to consider another point of view.

    And, yes, facts and figures matter, but most people find them intimidating and boring. (I know it makes your eyes glaze over.) Find out WHY they believe what they do. Look for something on which you agree. And then, explain your position and why — but not by reciting facts.

    We are a storytelling society. Facts may support your point, but stories are often what help people “feel it” and see the issue differently.

    THE CONVERSATION STARTERS

    • Have you ever tried to change someone's mind? How did you approach it? Did it work?
    • When you disagree with someone, do you begin by asking questions or explaining why you're right?
    • Has anyone ever changed your mind? What made you willing to reconsider?
    • Are you trying to change the other person's mind or simply win the argument?

    P.S. – You might be interested in our list of “7 Ways To Change Someone’s Mind.”