Design by Sawyer Pennington
Our banter may start with two sisters, but it’s getting families, friends, and even classrooms talking.
| I know you don’t like to look back, but humor me. Years ago, when my husband got fired, do you remember how I struggled with having him home ALL the time, along with all the stress and emotions of the situation? And the fear of the unknown? Lately, I’ve been feeling some of those same emotions, but for very different reasons. I was a single mom for years, and now I'm an empty nester. But that doesn’t mean the girls don’t still need me, especially now that they're "adulting", the issues are more important. And just because no one depends on me for day-to-day life doesn’t mean life is easier. Sometimes, when I’m tired or feeling overwhelmed, it feels as though I’m yet again trying to “hold it all together”. And before you say anything … I’m not asking for sympathy, because we all know you don’t “do” sympathy. |
| | I do not think that you want sympathy. I think you want empathy. You want me, and others, to understand how you are feeling. Not to feel sorry for you. Your life has changed in major ways — the girls leaving home changed the role that had shaped so much of your daily life. Being single affects your support system. And, losing Mom, even if several years ago, left a void that does not simply disappear. The fact that you are “warm and fuzzy” only amplifies those feelings. Which makes everything even more challenging — for you and sometimes for those of us around you. |
THE CONVERSATION STARTERS
- What's the difference between sympathy and empathy?
- How do you know when someone wants help, empathy, or simply to be heard?
- Why might someone struggle during a stage of life others might assume should feel easier?
Design by Sawyer Pennington
Our banter may start with two sisters, but it’s getting families, friends, and even classrooms talking.
| | In some ways, it seems like decades ago that my husband got fired. In other ways, it seems like yesterday. I had never felt so scared. So confused.So out of control. I thought he’d work for the company where he had been for years until he retired, and by then we’d have a second home and would live happily ever after. It never occurred to me that anything could change that plan. Everything seemed perfect. Then, seemingly in an instant, the future I had counted on disappeared. And my life became a living nightmare. |
| Yes, and as I told you at the time … you needed to calm down. I said that a lot. Still do. Anyway, I remember telling you to take a deep breath … and that you would get through it. And, you did, although you constantly questioned whether you could. |
THE CONVERSATION STARTERS
- Your life can change in an instant. Can you be prepared? How can you plan for the unknown?
- What are other unplanned life events?
- What's one thing you can control when life feels out of control?
Design by Sawyer Pennington
Our banter may start with two sisters, but it’s getting families, friends, and even classrooms talking.
| I need to vent! Between work and family, I'm constantly busy. And I feel like I'm always needed by someone for something! Which normally is ok, as that's my life. But sometimes all the everyday things keep piling up to the point it’s overwhelming, and I feel totally stressed. I just need some time alone! |
| | No, you need time away. |
| Same thing. |
| No. Not really. “Time alone” means without anyone with you. So, running errands without the girls or working alone in your office would be time alone. But, what you need is … “time away”. In other words, time with no other objective than doing something for yourself. Even if that is doing nothing. |
THE CONVERSATION STARTERS
- When was the last time you did something by yourself that was just for yourself?
- Is taking "time away" selfish?
- Can knowing you have blocked off "time away" help with managing stress today?