| Curiosity question: Since Sawyer is 17, I know that she is too oldto be a camper at Heart O' the Hills thissummer, but is she planning to be aHeart-Lite? |
| Where havethe years gone?! It seems like onlyyesterday that we had to convince them to let herattend whenshe was "almost six" and now she's old enough to be anassistant counselor. |
| True, but that does notanswer my question. |
| She submittedthe application and a phone interview has been scheduled.But what prompted your question? |
| I received an email fromthem describing their new leadership team, includingsome of this summer'scounselors, and I thought about the great resume value for those individuals. |
| That's not why Sawyer's doing it. She just loves camp– the activitiesand the friends she's made, especially the"little ones" that she got to be "big sister" to. From the very beginning, she'salways talked about hoping to be a counselor one day. |
| I have alwaysbeen impressed by her ability – and passion – to teach and to mentor, whether at camp,at volleyball,or with the Special Olympics team. And, even though I only attend a few volleyball games each year, herleadership skills are very obvious. No wonder she has been named team captain the last two years. |
| Funny yousay that, as other parents have commented to me about that, too. I know that asher mom I'm biased, but I'm so proud of her this year. Not only is she "playingup" and on the team for 18-year-olds and developing her technical skills, butshe's really excelling at strategic thinking and team-building. |
| From what you have told me, she is extremely dependableand her teammates trust and rely onher.Thatis critical. Asare the ability to communicate and resolve conflict. |
| She seems to have all those traits,although I can't take any credit for them. Shemust have been born that way. Notto mention, she didn't inherit her athletic skills fromme, either. |
| I do not havethe time for a nature versus nurture conversation, but hard work and focused efforts can go a long way. |
| Maybe in terms ofathletics, but I think being aleader is something you're naturally born to be or not. |
| Idisagree. I think it is easier to learn to be a good leader than to be a goodathlete. |
| Thenexplain why I was more of a natural at golf than you, but you ended up a bettergolfer. |
| BecauseI needed it to advance my career. So, I took lessons andworked at it. Plus, I ammuch more competitive than you. |
| Nowthere's an understatement. But you're definitely a natural leader. |
| I have todisagree again. After business school, I did well in positions where I workedindependently. Icould analyze any situation,spit out a bunch of ideas and suggestions, andget them implemented. But, thenI wanted to move to the next assignment. Unfortunately, rather than using me as in-house consultant, I was promoted into management. |
| Wasn't thata good thing? |
| Except thatI was totally unprepared. |
| So, what did you do? |
| I lookedaround the company and found senior management that I admired and respected.Then, Iemulatedtheir style and approach. |
| Are you saying that youpretended to be someone you weren't? |
| Have you never heard theadage, "Fake it until you make it?" There is actually science supporting theconcept, buttheinteresting part is that, along the way, I learned the difference betweenmanagement and leadership. |
| There'sa difference? |
| Managing is telling people what to do,how to do it, and then expecting them to do it.Leadingisshowing by example. Would you rather follow someone or"obey" them? I witnessed that the true leaders were open to ideas, they were patient andempathetic, and they provided timely communication, effective feedback, and positivereinforcement. All powerful traits that can be learned. |
| Well, I have to tell you, based on your description, most of thevolleyball coaches I've seen over the years havebeen managers,not leaders. |
| I would be interested to know if that is a function of the level of theteam. Is there a difference in coaching stylewhen you get to the best nationally rankedclub teams? What about at the collegiate level? |
| Good questions. I'd guesshaving better players helps, too. |
| Yes, buteven with "better" employees, just demanding them to "do better" will not getthe sameresult as inspiringthem to do so. Funny thing is that I was just trying todo my job better, but by helping them do their jobs better, we all benefited. |
| Well, itsounds like Sawyer's leadership skills will one day be invaluable in theworkplace. But I'd love toknow where she learned them. |
| Probably from you. |
| Seriously? I findit very hard to believe that you think of me as a leader. |
| Do you demand things ofthe girls? Or, do you ask and then take the time to explain why? Do you follow throughon the expectations and rules you have set? Do you takeresponsibility for your actions and expect them to do the same? Do you provide them withpositive feedback or only just find fault?Even when you think you are right, are you willing to listen notonly to their perspective, but also theirideas and suggestions? Areyou willing to admit when you are wrong? Shall I continue? |
| No! You made your point. I guess I just see these as good mom skills, not leadership traits. |
| But, it is not an either-or situation. Those same traits can be used to be successful at home, at work, even as avolunteer. Thinkabout the parents who are part of the PTA or who are littleleague coaches. Leadershipskills are transferable. And, definitely can be learned, and taught. |
| Wow, I never realized there are somany similarities between leadershipand parenting. But I can see where they're each both challenging,yet highlyrewarding. |
| Agree, butI would venture to guess that parenting is much more difficult. |
| Now, that I was never expecting. |
| Whatever. |
Want to read other columns? Here's a list.
| I know everyone’s always trying to find balance in their life. I thought becoming an empty nester would make that easier, but apparently not. The girls may be grown, but being a mom doesn’t end when your children move out. Between them, Red & Black, and my seemingly endless lists of things to do, I still struggle. |
| And, as I am a die-hard workaholic who admits to not having a life, you think I have the answer? |
| Excellent point. Never mind. |
| However, I do have some suggestions … although I will preface it with, "Do as I say, not as I do." |
| At this point, I'll take whatever help I can get. |
| Sometimes you need to make a conscious effort to stay present. And, by that I mean appreciate what is happening now instead of thinking about what is next. Or, reminiscing about the past. |
| That sounds good, but it also sounds overly simplistic, not to mention highly optimistic. And where would I even start? |
| Easy. It really is as simple as 1 – 2 – 3. |
| Nothing's that simple. |
| 1. SLOW down and look around 2. STOP using your gizmo and consider putting it away 3. GO spend time with family or friends, or steal some "alone time" |
| Actually, that does sound simple. Now I just have to remember to SLOW – STOP –GO. |
| Just imagine a traffic light. Plus, it would have the added benefit of every time you see a real traffic light, it will remind you to SLOW –STOP – GO. |
| I should've known there'd be a car or driving analogy in there somewhere. |
| Throttle on ... |
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