| Curiosity question: Since Sawyer is 17, I know that she is too old to be a camper at Heart O' the Hills this summer, but is she planning to be a Heart-Lite? |
| Where have the years gone?! It seems like only yesterday that we had to convince them to let her attend when she was "almost six" and now she's old enough to be an assistant counselor. |
| True, but that does not answer my question. |
| She submitted the application and a phone interview has been scheduled. But what prompted your question? |
| I received an email from them describing their new leadership team, including some of this summer's counselors, and I thought about the great resume value for those individuals. |
| That's not why Sawyer's doing it. She just loves camp – the activities and the friends she's made, especially the "little ones" that she got to be "big sister" to. From the very beginning, she's always talked about hoping to be a counselor one day. |
| I have always been impressed by her ability – and passion – to teach and to mentor, whether at camp, at volleyball, or with the Special Olympics team. And, even though I only attend a few volleyball games each year, her leadership skills are very obvious. No wonder she has been named team captain the last two years. |
| Funny you say that, as other parents have commented to me about that, too. I know that as her mom I'm biased, but I'm so proud of her this year. Not only is she "playing up" and on the team for 18-year-olds and developing her technical skills, but she's really excelling at strategic thinking and team-building. |
| From what you have told me, she is extremely dependable and her teammates trust and rely on her. That is critical. As are the ability to communicate and resolve conflict. |
| She seems to have all those traits, although I can't take any credit for them. She must have been born that way. Not to mention, she didn't inherit her athletic skills from me, either. |
| I do not have the time for a nature versus nurture conversation, but hard work and focused efforts can go a long way. |
| Maybe in terms of athletics, but I think being a leader is something you're naturally born to be or not. |
| I disagree. I think it is easier to learn to be a good leader than to be a good athlete. |
| Then explain why I was more of a natural at golf than you, but you ended up a better golfer. |
| Because I needed it to advance my career. So, I took lessons and worked at it. Plus, I am much more competitive than you. |
| Now there's an understatement. But you're definitely a natural leader. |
| I have to disagree again. After business school, I did well in positions where I worked independently. I could analyze any situation, spit out a bunch of ideas and suggestions, and get them implemented. But, then I wanted to move to the next assignment. Unfortunately, rather than using me as in-house consultant, I was promoted into management. |
| Wasn't that a good thing? |
| Except that I was totally unprepared. |
| So, what did you do? |
| I looked around the company and found senior management that I admired and respected. Then, I emulated their style and approach. |
| Are you saying that you pretended to be someone you weren't? |
| Have you never heard the adage, "Fake it until you make it?" There is actually science supporting the concept, but the interesting part is that, along the way, I learned the difference between management and leadership. |
| There's a difference? |
| Managing is telling people what to do, how to do it, and then expecting them to do it. Leading is showing by example. Would you rather follow someone or "obey" them? I witnessed that the true leaders were open to ideas, they were patient and empathetic, and they provided timely communication, effective feedback, and positive reinforcement. All powerful traits that can be learned. |
| Well, I have to tell you, based on your description, most of the volleyball coaches I've seen over the years have been managers, not leaders. |
| I would be interested to know if that is a function of the level of the team. Is there a difference in coaching style when you get to the best nationally ranked club teams? What about at the collegiate level? |
| Good questions. I'd guess having better players helps, too. |
| Yes, but even with "better" employees, just demanding them to "do better" will not get the same result as inspiring them to do so. Funny thing is that I was just trying to do my job better, but by helping them do their jobs better, we all benefited. |
| Well, it sounds like Sawyer's leadership skills will one day be invaluable in the workplace. But I'd love to know where she learned them. |
| Probably from you. |
| Seriously? I find it very hard to believe that you think of me as a leader. |
| Do you demand things of the girls? Or, do you ask and then take the time to explain why? Do you follow through on the expectations and rules you have set? Do you take responsibility for your actions and expect them to do the same? Do you provide them with positive feedback or only just find fault? Even when you think you are right, are you willing to listen not only to their perspective, but also their ideas and suggestions? Are you willing to admit when you are wrong? Shall I continue? |
| No! You made your point. I guess I just see these as good mom skills, not leadership traits. |
| But, it is not an either-or situation. Those same traits can be used to be successful at home, at work, even as a volunteer. Think about the parents who are part of the PTA or who are little league coaches. Leadership skills are transferable. And, definitely can be learned, and taught. |
| Wow, I never realized there are so many similarities between leadership and parenting. But I can see where they're each both challenging, yet highly rewarding. |
| Agree, but I would venture to guess that parenting is much more difficult. |
| Now, that I was never expecting. |
| Whatever. |
Tonight is the first night of Chanukah (FYI, there are multiple "correct" spellings), and while Red may be celebrating the Festival of Lights with potato latkes (pancakes), when she lights the menorah to symbolize bringing light into darkness, she’ll be laughing at Black’s car analogy …
| At the risk of Black coming up with another potato analogy, for me, Chanukah's all about potato latkes. The childhood memories of our dad grating pounds and pounds of potatoes to the point where I'm not sure I could see our kitchen table, many decades later, my eldest daughter taste-testing latkes from an assortment of places. (I love to cook, but latkes are a lot of work.) Of course, the lighting of the menorah is also such a special part of the holiday celebration, whether the electric menorah that my parents had where you would "twist" each light bulb as the nights progressed or the more traditional menorah with candles that my daughters and I light each year (and never leave unattended). |
| I never cease to be amazed by the miracle of Chanukah (regardless of whether you spell it Chanukah or Hanukkah, or some other variation) and how the oil that was only supposed to last one day instead lasted for eight days. It is as if your cellphone indicated it is at 12% but lasts eight days. Or, if the gas gauge in your car indicates you have 25 miles left, but you are able to drive 200 miles. Sometimes things happen that defy logic, and that is where faith takes over. And, a belief in something bigger than all of us. |
red headassets.rebelmouse.io
Blackassets.rebelmouse.ioTomorrow is the start of Chanukah, the Festival of Lights, which celebrates hope and miracles – and who could not use hope and miracles?
Happy Chanukah!
Every year on #GivingTuesday, Red tells Black that she knows how important giving is – whether time or money – but, unlike Black, she doesn’t have a meaningful charity that’s been part of her life for decades. We often “repeat” the conversation below, but this year, Black suggested that Red use #GivingTuesday to think about what charity inspires her or holds special meaning, and then get involved. Making it personal often ends up making it a year-round passion rather than a one-off obligation.
But no matter how you approach charity, beware of potential scammers. And, if in doubt — check them out! (Black likes GuideStar and Charity Navigator.)
| I know today’s Giving Tuesday, but what I always find so amazing is how you treat every day as “Giving Tuesday." |
| What makes you say that? I do not donate to an organization or charity every day. |
| You’re always so literal. I meant that the spirit of “giving to others”, whether donating or providing support in some way, seems to be part of your daily life. |
| I think you are exaggerating. |
| Really? What about your involvement with The Make-A-Wish Foundation? That’s been going on for years. And it didn’t take a “holiday” to get you involved. |
| Actually, it was a golf tournament decades ago. But once you see the difference you can make, even if it is a small donation because they add up, it becomes a way of life. Or, at least, it did for me. |
| I know you’ve quietly done things for other organizations and people, too. Living in the Houston area, we have no shortage of natural disasters, and we’ve seen people’s generosity. But what I like about GivingTuesday is it’s not waiting for a specific event because there are so many worthwhile charities that need our support every day. |
| Agree. And, although I am not always a huge fan of social media, #GivingTuesday – note the hashtag – started in 2012 to harness the power of the internet for hashtag activism and, more specifically, to inspire people and companies to give back. |
| Well, social media or not, I know how important it is to give back and help others. And it’s not always about money. Sometimes they need people to donate their time or expertise. I just wish we didn’t need a tragic event or “special day” as a reminder. |
| So, now that you have been reminded, stop talking to me and do your fair share for #GivingTuesday. Trust me, you will be glad you did. |
Today (Black would probably say “every day”) is the perfect day to give back to others, so check out this great list of ideas and pick one (or more) and become part of #GivingTuesday!
What’s so funny about the holiest day in Judaism, Yom Kippur, the “Day of Atonement”? A day where you fast as a way to help you deeply reflect on your past year, asking forgiveness, and then promising to do better.
Well, technically, nothing is funny about the holiday, but every time we think of this speaking engagement, it makes us laugh (as it did our audience) …
| I know that Yom Kippur isn't exactly known as one of the "fun" Jewish holidays, but every year, I can't help but laugh at what's easily my number one Yom Kippur memory. |
| That is what makes memories … memorable. And, finding something to laugh at on Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, which is probably the most important and solemn Jewish holiday, would be memorable. |
| I can't believe you're not even curious what it is!? |
assets.rebelmouse.io | You know I love to "connect the dots", and all you had to say was Yom Kippur, fun, and memory. Obviously, it was when RabbiScott asked us to speak before his congregation on Yom Kippur. |
| Well, I still find it surreal that we were asked to speak about money on one of the High Holy Days. And that we titled our presentation, "Oy Vey, You Want To Talk About Money?" |
| The day is about reflection, making fundamental changes – or at least adjustments – and trying to become a better person. And, just because it is a spiritual journey, there is no reason you cannot make learning fun. |
| True. I remember the time Rabbi Scott put a piece of aluminum foil in the children's Yom Kippur service program to help them understand that Yom Kippur's a day for reflection. But even you must admit that making a congregation laugh about money on a religious holiday is a bit much. |
| But, memorable. A few years later, I met someone who attended that service, and he said he's never forgotten it. |
| For the content or all the food analogies?! I can remember we started by saying how we just wanted to give everyone some food-for-thought and then saying, "Oops, since Yom Kippur's a day of fasting, maybe bringing up the subject of food wasn't such a good idea." |
| Of course, it did not stop us from doing it, again and again. |
| How else could we explain our unexpected journey into personal finance without mentioning it started at our first speaking engagement … which was at a Jewish Federation breakfast? |
| Or, how our detour into criminal justice started with me meeting with the chaplain at a men's prison? But I knew it was meant to be when she told me they had the only kosher kitchen in the Texas prison system. |
| And each time we looked at each other and then the audience, and we all laughed! With each mention of food, it just got funnier and funnier. But there was no way to avoid it. |
| I know. How could you tell the story about realizing all the money you were mindlessly spending at Jamba Juice without mentioning your almost-daily smoothies? Or, how you went grocery shopping at Whole Foods because it was convenient but not cost-effective. Anyway, until that day, I never realized how so many of our stories have to do with food. |
| I think the highlight was toward the end when I was explaining how I felt overwhelmed trying to tackle personal finance. That at times, things seemed insurmountable, and then you told me … it's like eating an elephant, you can do it, just one bite at a time. And everyone started laughing again. |
| On any other day, I doubt that analogy would make you think of food. But, on Yom Kippur, and especially since we were presenting after at least 15 hours of fasting, everything makes you hungry. |
| I guess it's like being so tired that you get slap happy. But I never thought a day of atonement and reflection could end up becoming a day of laughter. |
| On Yom Kippur, we wish people an "easy fast" or a "meaningful fast"… and if a bit of laughter, even if not intended, helps, what is wrong with that? |
| Good point. For that matter, you don't need to be Jewish to take a day, or even just an hour, to stop, to think, and to improve. |
| No fasting required. |