Life Happens … **IT HAPPENS

Life rarely goes as planned. Sometimes, unplanned events only cause minor adjustments. But sometimes, they can put you in “crisis mode” and might require major transformations. Like the rainy Friday when Red’s husband came home and told her, totally unexpected, that he had been fired. In a split second, her life went from fairy tale to nightmare.

So, whether you freak out (Red’s default setting) or are feeling overwhelmed and uncertain where to start, when we relaunch this site in the New Year, there will be a section called **IT HAPPENS. Filled with tips and tools (and, of course, food for thought), we hope it will help you survive and thrive during even the most stressful life events.

Because we’ve experienced them, we know that a “crisis” can come in many different forms (financial, work, relationship, health, natural disaster, the list goes on), and what starts as one issue often impacts many aspects of your life. But, as Black recently explained to Red,

Every situation is different, but you can approach them in a similar way, although I did not tell you that at the time. I did not even let you know we were going through the steps one-by-one because, in your case, I knew we first had to deal with the emotional aspects. And, when I told you I thought your “crisis” would be the best thing that ever happened to you, you thought I was being nice. Even though I do not do nice.

Well, Black may not “do nice”, but she did help Red through her “crisis”, and along the way, managed to help Red see that adjusting her mindset and perspective could make all the difference.

However, if you’re currently in a difficult situation (or just curious about how Black guided Red), knowing what’s coming next year doesn’t help you now. So, we hope the following posts might help make things a little better.

P.S. – In case you missed it, here’s a link to the description of THE DAILY HELP, which includes helpful hints you can use now.

crisis

Words & Banter

Think About It ... Have You Ever Wanted A Second Chance?

Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Ye Jinghan on Unsplash

Second Chance Month may almost be over, but giving someone a second chance, especially for those who’ve been on the wrong side of the law, shouldn’t end when April does. Because we’ve all made mistakes, and a second chance is a gift that can make all the difference, as Red dramatically learned below …

red headassets.rebelmouse.io	I had no idea that April was “Second Chance Month” until you sent me the official proclamation. I find it interesting that in the midst of juggling our usual million and one Red & Black things, your interest in criminal justice, which I know you consider a “passion project”, is as strong as ever, maybe even stronger.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	It is not intentional, sometimes “passion projects” find you. And, when you least expect it.
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	Or where you least expect it! Only you would take a “field trip” to a men’s prison.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	I will not get on my soapbox about how our education system contributes to the criminal justice problem. I will never forget a friend of mine who was formerly incarcerated telling me, “Rehabilitating people makes the assumption they were habilitated in the first place.”
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	When you stop and think about that statement, it’s pretty powerful! But I have to smile as once upon a time you, and I, used words like “offenders” and “prisoners” until we learned how our choice of words could be dehumanizing.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	Says the woman who once believed in the idea of “lock ’em up and throw away the key”.

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criminal justice

Words & Banter

Now ... It’s Time To Look At Autism Differently

Photo by mevans on iStock

We first ran the post below five years ago, and we’re glad April’s no longer Autism Awareness Month but now is Autism Acceptance Month. Especially as autism seems to have become more commonplace (partially due to improved diagnosis, but also less stigma). Most important, though, is learning about autism, including how to talk about it in a non-judgmental way … because that’s what helps all of us move from awareness to acceptance.

red headassets.rebelmouse.io	Did you know that April's Autism Awareness Month? I wasn't aware (pun intended) of it until I read our local homeowner's monthly newsletter and it caught my eye.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	Actually, last month the founding organization, the Autism Society, changed "Awareness "to "Acceptance" to foster inclusivity, as knowing about something is very different from accepting it. But I am guessing that is not the point of this call.
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	Although it isn't autism, it reminded me of years ago when we found out that Natasha has learning disabilities.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	I think you mean DIFF-abilities.
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	Of course, that's another thing I remember. I was focused on the negative aspects of her diagnosis until you asked me, point-blank, "Why are they called disabilities?" And proceeded to explain that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	Exactly! Imagine the world if everyone excelled at math, but flunked English. Or, a world of lawyers, but no musicians. Some people are better at social skills, while others excel at handling technical data. Why not just say that people who have different skillsets and abilities have DIFF-abilities versus making them feel like they have shortcomings?

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mindset & perspective

Words & Banter

Adult Education Lessons … From The Racetrack?!

The last time I was in Indianapolis, I became the first woman to race the road course at Indy (Indianapolis Motor Speedway) — in a Ferrari Challenge support race on a Formula One (F-1) weekend, no less. Although I did not know it at the time.

So, when I heard about a national conference of adult educators being held in Indianapolis, I thought it was the perfect location.

Are you wondering, “What is the connection?”

In racing, people focus on the driver. The one in the car. The one who crosses the finish line. But, that is not how racing works. No driver is alone — there is always a team with us. Plus, we are constantly learning — from coaches, from other drivers, from trying something new. And, adapting — to changing conditions, new technology, more experience.

There is an old racing axiom,

To finish first, first you must finish.

But, even more basic … you cannot finish if you do not start. And, for many adult learners, starting is the hardest part. Some are doing it for the first time. Some are trying again. All are stepping into something uncertain. For some, it is scary. For others, it is exciting. Often, it is both. No different than when I go to a new track.

There are many similarities between racing and adult education. So, if I could provide adult educators with just one takeaway, it would be this,

You are an integral part of the student’s “crew” … You are often the reason people start. You make sure they are not alone when they do. You help them get to the finish. And, without you, they might never get out of neutral.

So, throttle on.

adult education

DON’T MISS A THING

For Red & Black Banter in your inbox ...

red headassets.rebelmouse.io	That was before! I know you told me that just because someone made a bad decision, it didn’t make them a bad person, but it sounded like a cliche. Now, my opinion is based on our experience and the impact we’ve seen. The feedback has been eye-opening. Unfortunately, life doesn’t come with “do-overs.”
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	Exactly. None of us are perfect. We have all made bad decisions. Second chances are about opportunities to show we have learned from our mistakes.
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	Well, I know I have. Obviously, not anything illegal. But it made me determined to teach my daughters what I had learned. Probably one of the most heartwarming parts of the feedback we’ve received is that so many people on the inside want better – not only for themselves, but for their children and grandchildren.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	Yes, which is why having a second chance is so critical. And, helping set people up for success, not failure, because it is about more than changing the lives of the formerly incarcerated -- it can change the lives of their families and, in turn, our communities and our country.
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	A ripple effect that could mean more people may get it right the first time and not need a second chance.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	True. Maybe we should look at it as giving society a second chance …

red headassets.rebelmouse.io	I know that you completely changed my way of thinking, not only about Natasha but about the concept of "disabilities" full stop. It opened my eyes – and my brain – about how just because someone has challenges or limited abilities in some areas, that doesn't mean they don't have different gifts and strengths in other areas.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	Exactly. Although autism is a "spectrum condition" meaning it affects people differently and to varying degrees, it is a complex developmental disorder that can affect a person's social skills, and ability to communicate and interact with others. However, autistic people usually possess some extremely valuable traits that are rare in non-autistic people.
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	Which is why it frustrates me that so many people feel like those with disabilities, excuse me DIFF-abilities, are "lesser" people. When Natasha was diagnosed, she was in her teens and already had a very strong personality (no doubt inherited from you) and, luckily, seemed to have an innate understanding that she was just different, not better, not worse, than others. I guess one of the biggest challenges is to get others to see things with the same mindset.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	We are a story-telling society, and there are countless stories of people with DIFF-abilities, including those with autism, that are eye-opening and more powerful than anything we could ever say.
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	Funny you say that, as I was curious to learn more about autism and found some inspiring quotes (including a wonderful Tom Hanks clip) that not only gave me great insight but made me smile. One of my favorites was how Paul Collins, an author and parent of an autistic child, said, "Autists are the ultimate square pegs, and the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It's that you're destroying the peg." That's such a great way to describe not only those with autism but any disability.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	Well, technically, it will fit, but it requires that the diameter of the circle be larger than the diagonal of the square. Basic geometry. But, I understand Paul Collin's point.
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	Talk about DIFF-abilities! Couldn't you just agree with me?
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	The thought never crossed my mind.