Life Happens … **IT HAPPENS

Life rarely goes as planned. Sometimes, unplanned events only cause minor adjustments. But sometimes, they can put you in “crisis mode” and might require major transformations. Like the rainy Friday when Red’s husband came home and told her, totally unexpected, that he had been fired. In a split second, her life went from fairy tale to nightmare.

So, whether you freak out (Red’s default setting) or are feeling overwhelmed and uncertain where to start, when we relaunch this site in the New Year, there will be a section called **IT HAPPENS. Filled with tips and tools (and, of course, food for thought), we hope it will help you survive and thrive during even the most stressful life events.

Because we’ve experienced them, we know that a “crisis” can come in many different forms (financial, work, relationship, health, natural disaster, the list goes on), and what starts as one issue often impacts many aspects of your life. But, as Black recently explained to Red,

Every situation is different, but you can approach them in a similar way, although I did not tell you that at the time. I did not even let you know we were going through the steps one-by-one because, in your case, I knew we first had to deal with the emotional aspects. And, when I told you I thought your “crisis” would be the best thing that ever happened to you, you thought I was being nice. Even though I do not do nice.

Well, Black may not “do nice”, but she did help Red through her “crisis”, and along the way, managed to help Red see that adjusting her mindset and perspective could make all the difference.

However, if you’re currently in a difficult situation (or just curious about how Black guided Red), knowing what’s coming next year doesn’t help you now. So, we hope the following posts might help make things a little better.

P.S. – In case you missed it, here’s a link to the description of THE DAILY HELP, which includes helpful hints you can use now.

crisis

Words & Banter

We're All Different ... And It’s Time To Look At Autism Differently

Photo by mevans on iStock

Let’s be very clear. Autism has no correlation with intelligence; it’s a developmental disability (or what Black refers to as “DIFF-abilities”). And it’s a spectrum disorder, which means each autistic person has their unique mix of abilities, challenges, and ways of seeing the world (can’t that be said of all of us?!) So, as we celebrate World Autism Acceptance Week, remember it’s more than just awareness – it’s about acceptance.

red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Did you know that April's Autism Awareness Month? I wasn't aware (pun intended) of it until I read our local homeowner's monthly newsletter and it caught my eye.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Actually, last month the founding organization, the Autism Society, changed "Awareness" to "Acceptance" to foster inclusivity, as knowing about something is very different from accepting it. But I am guessing that is not the point of this call.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Although it isn't autism, it reminded me of years ago when we found out that Natasha has learning disabilities.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	I think you mean DIFF-abilities.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Of course, that's another thing I remember. I was focused on the negative aspects of her diagnosis until you asked me, point-blank, "Why are they called disabilities?" And proceeded to explain that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Exactly! Imagine the world if everyone excelled at math, but flunked English. Or, a world of lawyers, but no musicians. Some people are better at social skills, while others excel at handling technical data. Why not just say that people who have different skillsets and abilities have DIFF-abilities versus making them feel like they have shortcomings?

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mindset & perspective

Words & Banter

Girls Can Do Anything!

Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

What do the classic movie “Gone With The Wind,” the TV sitcom “That Girl,” and Lucille Ball have in common? At first glance, the answer is easy. They were hugely popular at the time but have stood the test of time as they continue to have fans decades later. Red, a theater major and movie buff, could explain all the “artistic” reasons why, but Black has (as always) a very different perspective.

It has to do with role models and how they can come from the most unexpected places – both real and fictional. Scarlett O’Hara, a heroine from the Civil War, was a fiercely independent woman (even by today’s standards), while Marlo Thomas portrayed “That Girl” as perhaps the first “modern woman”, one living on her own in a big city and pursuing a career vs. a family. But as Black points out to Red in “RED & BLACK … Girls Can Do Anything!,” it’s Lucille Ball that’s the ultimate badass (Black’s word, not Red’s), proving that you can be an amazing actress and comedian while simultaneously being a pioneer in the TV industry and a shrewd businesswoman.

And what better time than Women’s History Month to reflect on how women can inspire other women to do amazing things? After all, Black may not admit to being a role model, but she will admit that her racing a Ferrari has inspired countless girls over the years, and women of all ages are amused when she says, “How hard can it be? Boys do it.”

women's empowerment

Words & Banter

RED & BLACK … Girls Can Do Anything!

Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

red head assets.rebelmouse.io	As much of a history buff as I am, I’m embarrassed to admit that for a long time, I didn’t know March was Women’s History Month. But now that I do, I’m amazed by all the inspirational stories of women’s remarkable achievements.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Too bad Natasha and Sawyer do not still live at home; it would be fun to start a conversation by asking them what women they find inspiring.
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	I already know who they would pick. The first woman to race the road course at Indianapolis Motor Speedway. And I’d have to agree with them. Your Ferrari racing has made an impact on so many people. But especially girls.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Until you mentioned it several years ago, I never thought about that. In the 1970s, I was one of the few women in business school. I then made a career in the male-dominated oil and gas industry. I am used to being a “token” female.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Trust me. I watch people whenever we’ve done speaking engagements. It’s predictable ... we put up the family tree, and Natasha and Sawyer get awws, but your two racecars get everyone’s attention.

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red head assets.rebelmouse.io	I know that you completely changed my way of thinking, not only about Natasha but about the concept of "disabilities" full stop. It opened my eyes – and my brain – about how just because someone has challenges or limited abilities in some areas, that doesn't mean they don't have different gifts and strengths in other areas.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Exactly. Although autism is a "spectrum condition" meaning it affects people differently and to varying degrees, it is a complex developmental disorder that can affect a person's social skills, and ability to communicate and interact with others. However, autistic people usually possess some extremely valuable traits that are rare in non-autistic people.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Which is why it frustrates me that so many people feel like those with disabilities, excuse me DIFF-abilities, are "lesser" people. When Natasha was diagnosed, she was in her teens and already had a very strong personality (no doubt inherited from you) and, luckily, seemed to have an innate understanding that she was just different, not better, not worse, than others. I guess one of the biggest challenges is to get others to see things with the same mindset.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	We are a story-telling society, and there are countless stories of people with DIFF-abilities, including those with autism, that are eye-opening and more powerful than anything we could ever say.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Funny you say that, as I was curious to learn more about autism and found some inspiring quotes (including a wonderful Tom Hanks clip) that not only gave me great insight but made me smile. One of my favorites was how Paul Collins, an author and parent of an autistic child, said, "Autists are the ultimate square pegs, and the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It's that you're destroying the peg." That's such a great way to describe not only those with autism but any disability.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Well, technically, it will fit, but it requires that the diameter of the circle be larger than the diagonal of the square. Basic geometry. But, I understand Paul Collin's point.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Talk about DIFF-abilities! Couldn't you just agree with me?
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	The thought never crossed my mind.

Black assets.rebelmouse.io	A Ferrari and vintage Porsche usually do. I appreciate that not many women race cars, but as I often say, “How hard can it be, boys do it?”
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	That always makes me laugh.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	It is a factual statement.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	I’m not saying no, but it definitely makes a point. That girls can do anything.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Well, I have always felt that way. Looking back, my role model growing up was Marlo Thomas in “That Girl.”
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	The late 1960s TV sitcom? Seriously? I have to admit I didn’t watch it as it never really appealed to me.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Maybe you should have. Until then, women on TV shows were either someone’s wife, someone’s mother, or someone’s secretary – but never someone independent. Playing an aspiring actress living on her own in New York City, it was easy for me to relate to as we grew up just a short train ride away on Long Island.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	But she wasn’t real. She was a character on a sitcom!
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Regardless, it changed my perception of women. Here was a single woman with dreams and aspirations. And, ambition. She was willing to try new things and willing to fail. She put her career ahead of a traditional marriage with children.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	That may have contributed to why I didn’t watch it. I always wanted to get married and have children, and in a perfect world, would be a stay-at-home mom. I like tradition and history.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Does “Gone With The Wind” count as history? Growing up, the character of Scarlett O’Hara was my favorite movie character. Still is. She was a dynamic, independent woman who did not leave her fate to others and pushed the boundaries of her time.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Another fictional character. Don’t you think real-life women make a greater impact?
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Inspiration comes from different places for different people. And, at different stages of our lives. Funny thing is, and I did not realize it until decades after “That Girl” was off the air, Thomas had formed her own production company, Daisy Productions, to produce and own the series. But, the ultimate badass was Lucille Ball.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	I’ve always loved “I Love Lucy” and have probably seen every episode multiple times, giving me years of laughter and enjoyment. But that’s not how I’d describe her!
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	She was much more than an actress and comedian; she was a trailblazing producer and very shrewd in business. She became one of the first women to own her own TV production company (she bought out Desi Arnaz's share of Desilu Studios several years after their divorce), but also produced such TV classics as “The Untouchables,” “Mission Impossible,” and was even behind the original Star Trek TV series.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Wow, I had no idea. Talk about an amazing woman and role model. At the risk of repeating myself, she really did prove girls can do anything.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Of course, we can. If we put our mind to it. It is all about mindset and perspective.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	True. But what I find amazing is you don’t see how you’re a role model. Your entire life is full of examples of doing things girls – and women – traditionally didn’t do.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	I did things I wanted to do. Plus, telling me I could not do something made me even more determined. It never dawned on me that someone might think it unsuitable or “wrong”.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Not that it would have made any difference. You’ve never cared what others think about you.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	And, I doubt that will ever change.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Well, you should care. At least, about the impact your racing has made on young girls. I’ve seen you do in minutes what parents have tried to do for years.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Sounds like a bit of an exaggeration.
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	Really? A friend of mine, a single dad, called me after his daughter saw you and your racecar at a Make-A-Wish event. For years, he told her she could be whatever she wanted, never getting a reaction. That night, she came home and said, “Hey Dad, I met Natasha’s aunt, she races cars, I really can do anything.”
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	It is the power of showing versus just telling.
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	So, you admit that you’re a role model!
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Never.