Words & Banter

Life Happens … **IT HAPPENS

Life rarely goes as planned. Sometimes, unplanned events only cause minor adjustments. But sometimes, they can put you in “crisis mode” and might require major transformations. Like the rainy Friday when Red’s husband came home and told her, totally unexpected, that he had been fired. In a split second, her life went from fairy tale to nightmare.

So, whether you freak out (Red’s default setting) or are feeling overwhelmed and uncertain where to start, when we relaunch this site in the New Year, there will be a section called **IT HAPPENS. Filled with tips and tools (and, of course, food for thought), we hope it will help you survive and thrive during even the most stressful life events.

Because we’ve experienced them, we know that a “crisis” can come in many different forms (financial, work, relationship, health, natural disaster, the list goes on), and what starts as one issue often impacts many aspects of your life. But, as Black recently explained to Red,

Every situation is different, but you can approach them in a similar way, although I did not tell you that at the time. I did not even let you know we were going through the steps one-by-one because, in your case, I knew we first had to deal with the emotional aspects. And, when I told you I thought your “crisis” would be the best thing that ever happened to you, you thought I was being nice. Even though I do not do nice.

Well, Black may not “do nice”, but she did help Red through her “crisis”, and along the way, managed to help Red see that adjusting her mindset and perspective could make all the difference.

However, if you’re currently in a difficult situation (or just curious about how Black guided Red), knowing what’s coming next year doesn’t help you now. So, we hope the following posts might help make things a little better.

P.S. – In case you missed it, here’s a link to the description of THE DAILY HELP, which includes helpful hints you can use now.
crisis
Words & Banter

We Know ... Girls Can Do Anything!

Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

It’s Women’s History Month. Can you guess what Black has in common with Scarlett O’Hara (from “Gone With The Wind”) and the sitcoms “I Love Lucy” and “That Girl”? For the answer, check out one of our favorite posts …

What do the classic movie “Gone With The Wind,” the TV sitcom “That Girl,” and Lucille Ball have in common? At first glance, the answer is easy. They were hugely popular at the time but have stood the test of time as they continue to have fans decades later. Red, a theater major and movie buff, could explain all the “artistic” reasons why, but Black has (as always) a very different perspective.

It has to do with role models and how they can come from the most unexpected places – both real and fictional. Scarlett O’Hara, a heroine from the Civil War, was a fiercely independent woman (even by today’s standards), while Marlo Thomas portrayed “That Girl” as perhaps the first “modern woman”, one living on her own in a big city and pursuing a career vs. a family. But as Black points out to Red in “RED & BLACK … Girls Can Do Anything!,” it’s Lucille Ball that’s the ultimate badass (Black’s word, not Red’s), proving that you can be an amazing actress and comedian while simultaneously being a pioneer in the TV industry and a shrewd businesswoman.

And what better time than Women’s History Month to reflect on how women can inspire other women to do amazing things? After all, Black may not admit to being a role model, but she will admit that her racing a Ferrari has inspired countless girls over the years, and women of all ages are amused when she says, “How hard can it be? Boys do it.”

women's empowerment
THE BIG PICTURE

Intro headline for the big picture section


WHERE DO I START?

The last thing Red wanted to think about when she was in the midst of her crisis was her long-term goals and purpose. Her dreams had just been shattered, and the future was a dark and distant blur. She was barely getting through the day. She’d worry about tomorrow tomorrow. But once things started to settle down, she decided she was ready to think about tomorrow, and the days after that.

HERE’S ONE THING …

Red, like most of us, plans by starting with today. Black encouraged Red to try a different approach. Why not start with the end in mind? Start with what you want your life to look like, and work backward. Black’s Backward Planning Worksheet helps you think about where you want to be rather than where you are now – so you can plan how to get there.

THERE’S SO MUCH MORE!

Having direction in your life will change the way you look at things. It’s the difference between just driving around and driving with purpose. Knowing there’s more than one road to your destination lets you step back and ask yourself, “Am I making good decisions today that keep me pointed in the right direction?” If you aren’t, you make changes. Because life is a journey, not a destination, we created THE BIG PICTURE.

**IT HAPPENS

Intro headline for IT happens section


WHERE DO I START?

When a crisis hits, it’s devastating. There’s no sugar-coating it. You ask yourself, why me? Why now? When it happened to Red, she felt like her whole life was collapsing. Her emotions were all over the place, jumping from fear to anger to sadness, mixed with feeling lost and alone. The more she thought about it, the worse it all seemed.

HERE’S ONE THING …


When something bad happens, we just want it to be a bad dream and wake up to how things used to be. We can’t change the past, but we can change our mindset to focus on what we can control. (Not sure you can? Check out Black’s A Control Freak’s Approach To Crisis Management – an amusing but thought-provoking multiple choice questionnaire.) When we do, we make situations better for ourselves and the people around us, as it gives us the focus and confidence we need to get through it.

THERE’S SO MUCH MORE!

We all react differently. What one person sees as a crisis may not be seen the same way by someone else, but that doesn’t make it any less of a crisis to the person experiencing it. The one constant is needing the confidence in yourself and the support of others (no one should face a crisis alone) to make it through to the other side. We created **IT HAPPENS in the hope it will help you, and the people you care about, get through a crisis.