Words & Banter

It Was A Rainy Friday ... And Everything Changed

Life can change in an instant, and the repercussions not only begin instantly but will forever change your life. And often, the lives of others.

However, there was no way to know on that rainy Friday, Red’s crisis would be the start of her journey to take control of her life instead of letting her life control her. It wasn’t surprising that Black’s version of that day was very different, but that may have contributed to the creation of Red & Black … and our journey filled with many detours …

So, curious how Red & Black started? Well, on the surface, it would seem our journey started with the launch of the book I co-authored with my sister, What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired! But we all know that what leads up to the "start" of a journey can be just as important, and sometimes even more important. It's like a vacation, the actual vacation falls somewhere in the middle – after the planning and packing and before the post-vacation "recovery" phases that always seen to include lots of laundry.

But I digress (warning, I do that a lot). The real beginning of the journey started on a rainy Friday in January 2004.


(The year's important as the economy was strong, and also because it was before we all were constantly accessible via smart phones.) I was preparing dinner, while my two young daughters, Natasha who was 5-years old at the time, and Sawyer, who was 1-1/2-years old, were playing in the family room section of the kitchen.

I didn't think about it at the time (that happened several hours later and for a long time after that), but I would've described my life as happy and secure. A stay-at-home mom with two beautiful, healthy daughters. A marriage to a husband who was a good father and a good provider. He had a great job with a major company which resulted in us living around the world, and he had dedicated his life to it for almost 25 years.

But at 5:00 p.m. that Friday my life was changed in an instant … when he came home and told me, totally unexpectedly, he had been fired. Forget about long-term plans and dreams for the future. How were we going to get through today and tomorrow and next week?

Even today, I can remember how I felt as if it was yesterday. I was terrified. I was devastated. Emotionally I was a wreck. I could've killed my husband for doing this to the family. Yet I felt incredibly sad for him. His entire career had been dedicated to the company, and he didn't deserve this. I was ashamed. Yet, I had to be strong and put on a brave face for him and our daughters.

And what was I going to tell people? I'd eventually figure that out, but first, I had to tell my sister – the one person who knows everything about my life and who I talk to almost every day. I thought I was a strong person and well-educated, but I wasn't sure I had the skills to handle this. So, I did what I thought best … I sent her an email telling her that I needed to talk to her as soon as possible. That something serious had happened to Nick. (Obviously, I was in shock because as someone who likes to blah-blah-blah, I neglected to provide any details).

And then, I logged off my computer … never realizing that my journey had just begun.

Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash


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I have a confession to make, which I’m sure will make you roll your eyes.


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Interesting caveat and probably true.


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Every time we talk with Jackie (Aguilera) from the Mayor’s Office of Adult Literacy and hear what she’s doing in the world of adult education, I feel like I’m back in school and having to take copious notes.


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I am more than happy to send you “homework assignments” as I come across relevant articles and research.
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Photo by michaelmjc on iStock

Is it a way to meet people, share memories, or help the environment? Or is it about bargain hunting? As we've talked about before, garage sales can be about so much more than just getting rid of things you no longer want



Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

Thanks for the accounting of your garage sale. But, given how many hours you spent preparing for it, and then the actual sale itself, did you calculate how much you “earned” on a $/hour basis?


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No, all I know is that it seemed to take forever to go through everything in Mom’s house and decide what to keep, what to sell, what to donate. And what to trash. As far as the garage sale, I’ll give you your half the next time I see you.


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Keep my half. You did all the work. I did not even offer to help.


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And that was a big help. Thank you.
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Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Remember summer reruns on TV? Well, this month’s column is a first … it’s a “rerun” of our July 2020 column, except we added the word “CRITICAL” in the title. Because, four years later, we feel it’s very sad (and scary) that our sentiments about our country’s leaders having the strength, courage, and conviction to be independent thinkers are still relevant (maybe even more than before). So, the Fourth of July may be behind us, but Election Day will be here before you know it.



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I keep forgetting to ask you, since Sawyer is away at camp, what did you do for July 4th?



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Well, it was a very different Fourth of July. No kids. No barbeque. No fireworks.


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I know most of the fireworks were cancelled, but is your barbeque grill broken?


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No, this year I decided to declare my "independence" from doing a big holiday grocery shop, major prep work, and cooking outdoors in Texas heat.


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I wish there were more people willing to declare their independence.



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Somehow I don't think you're talking about me making an easy pasta dish in the comfort of my air-conditioned house vs. standing over a hot barbeque on a hot day.
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