People have told us they're using our sisterly banter to start conversations with others (family, friends, and even in classrooms), so Black created "Conversation Starters".
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It’s funny, but recently when someone brought up the topic
of advocacy, I wasn’t
sure what they meant. And after they
explained it’s speaking up for a cause, idea, or even a group of people, my
first thought was how I could never do that as I don’t have the expertise or
the confidence to advocate for anything. But then, once I got over my emotional reaction to the term “advocate” (emotional
reactions are my default setting), I realized as long as it was something I
believed in, that given some practice, especially in terms of how best to
communicate, even I could become
an advocate.
And that’s saying a lot as I’ve always been one to avoid conflict. But after watching Black for years, I now realize that it’s just a mindset, and although I may not take things as far as she will, I know I can share my experiences, my passions, my beliefs. Which is very different than trying to “prove” something. Yet, it can still have a huge impact. |
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I admit that at times I am a frustrated wanna-be attorney
and love building a case supporting my passions. (Some people have even
suggested I become a lobbyist,
which is a specific type of advocate.) And, although being able to recite facts
and figures may be useful and even powerful, it will rarely be as compelling an
“argument” as a heartfelt, real-life story. But, my “soapboxes” are things I have seen
first-hand (that does not mean I will not also do some research in order to be
better prepared), and I try to look at it from the perspective of others. (I will not get into the difference between empathy and
sympathy.) Initially, advocacy may not come easily, but as with most things, preparation and practice is the key. As are communication skills. All of which help you build confidence. Whether you are advocating for others or yourself. But, self-advocacy is a separate conversation for another day. |
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THE CONVERSATION STARTERS
- What does advocacy mean to you? Do you think you could be an advocate? If so, for what? And why?
- Think about something that someone changed your mind about. How did they do it?
- What are you passionate about? Why? What can you do to make a difference?
- What is the difference between a lobbyist and an advocate?
People have told us they're using our sisterly banter to start conversations with others (family, friends, and even in classrooms), so Black created "Conversation Starters".
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Growing up on Long Island in a Jewish home, I didn’t think
twice about my best friend (who’s still a close friend) being Italian, although
we did have different cultural and religious beliefs. And although we lived close to New York City,
it wasn’t until I went to college in North Carolina that I met a Black person
(and a Southerner, no less). She and I
quickly became good friends and laughed at the fact we had the same last name,
but that’s where the similarities ended. Yet, I had never really thought about
diversity,
or to be honest, even heard of the term, until you had us working on
Career & Technology Education
(CTE) curriculum, and we did a soft skills worksheet
on it. That’s when I discovered that
“diversity” was actually a “thing”, although lately, it seems to have become a
political
topic
.
But once I was aware of it, I realized how much I learned from being friends with people who have different perspectives and experiences than I do. Of course, having a sister who at times seems more like a Vulcan, likes to push me outside my comfort zone, and makes me look at things from different viewpoints, has made me a better person – both in terms of newfound knowledge as well as a greater appreciation for how and why others may see things differently . |
| Vulcan or otherwise, there were things to learn from Spock, which highlights the importance of diversity. In the broadest context, diversity introduces us to unique experiences and perspectives. In the workplace, it is often referred to as Diversity, Equity & Inclusion (DEI), but I will stick with diversity (for now), which includes not only race, sex, and age, but also gender and sexual orientation, disabilities, religious beliefs, and socioeconomic status, and I am guessing there are other differentiators. I think it is as simple as accepting that not everyone is alike. (How boring would that be? It would be like only having vanilla and chocolate ice cream.) And, recognizing that differences are not right or wrong; they are differences. From a business perspective, the more you look at things from different angles and perspectives, the more fully (and more creatively) you will see things, which in turn, helps you better understand and provide value to your target market. I know I said I would not get into equity and inclusion, but I love this quote from Vema Myers, “Diversity is being invited to the party, inclusion is being asked to dance.” |
THE CONVERSATION STARTERS
- Define diversity. What does diversity mean to you? What are its challenges and benefits?
- The concept of diversity in the workplace encompasses acceptance and respect. But that also applies to your personal life. How can your actions and behavior help or hinder the situation?
- Are your friends and workplace associates a diverse group of people? If so, what have you learned from them? If not, why not? And would you be willing to proactively get to know people outside your "usual” circle?
- Do you think “diversity” is seen differently by different generations? Why?
Design by Sawyer Pennington
People have told us they’re using our sisterly banter to start conversations with others (family, friends, and even in classrooms), so Black created “Conversation Starters”.
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I’m really looking forward to Thanksgiving this year,
especially since last year was the first since Mom passed away, and the dining room table seemed incomplete. Which may partially explain why we ended up
sitting around the kitchen table and island instead. And that was wonderful – so relaxed, easy,
and fun – but I still couldn’t help but think of her not being with us. It’s funny because, over the years, even as
life changed, such as the girls growing up and going off to college, I’ve
always taken for granted that Thanksgiving would somehow always remain the
same, cooking the same dishes, with all the preparation beginning days in
advance. So, I'm not sure that I truly stopped and appreciated each Thanksgiving Day as I was so focused on everything I needed to get done. This year, though, I plan to take a moment to stop and think about some of the things I'm thankful for, and to start appreciating the day itself. To try to "be present", so to speak, in the present. |
| I know that Thanksgiving is about giving thanks, but what
you just described is gratitude. Gratitude is "deeper" than
thankfulness, and the best way I can describe it is … think about when
you might write a thank you note – someone gives you something or does something
for you. It is a fleeting event. Now think about if you were to write someone
a note or letter of appreciation.
You have repeatedly told me that mere mortals often need reminders, so what if this Thanksgiving you start a "gratitude habit"? Make a daily appointment with yourself to find a few quiet moments and write down at least one thing for which you are grateful. It can be as simple as sunlight on your face or the crunch of an apple. You are probably rolling your eyes right now, but it will only take a few minutes and can change your life. Or, at least, how you look at it. |
THE CONVERSATION STARTERS
- If you look back, what or who would you appreciate (or appreciate more) that you didn’t at the time?
- If you begin to appreciate the value of appreciation (pun intended), what might you want to be mindful of going forward?
- Do you think a "gratitude habit" might be useful? Would you be willing to "test-drive" (Black's words) one for a month and see if your opinion changes? Explain your answers.
People have told us they're using our sisterly banter to start conversations with others (family, friends, and even in classrooms), so Black created "Conversation Starters".
No one likes to feel out of control, unprepared, and scared. But as Red will tell you, life can change in an instant (whether it’s a crisis impacting many or one that seems very personal). She’ll also tell you that when everything seems so negative, it’s difficult to have a positive mindset (or even a non-emotional perspective) …
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In some ways, it seems like decades ago that my husband got
fired, in other ways it seems like yesterday. I felt then so many of the same emotions that people are going through today
due to the coronavirus. I was so
scared. And unprepared. At the time, I thought he'd work for the company
where he had been for years until he retired, and by then we'd have a second
home and would live happily ever after. I never thought anything would change that plan. Everything was perfect, until my life,
literally overnight, became a living nightmare.
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Yes, and as I told you at the time … you needed to calm
down. I said that a lot. Still do.
Anyway, I remember telling you to take a deep breath … and that you
would get through it. And, you did. Although
you constantly questioned whether you had the ability to do so.
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THE CONVERSATION STARTERS
- Your life can change in an instant. Can you be prepared? How can you plan for the unknown?
- What are other unplanned life events?