People have told us they're using our sisterly banter to start conversations with others (family, friends, and even in classrooms), so Black created "Conversation Starters".
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It’s funny, but recently when someone brought up the topic
of advocacy, I wasn’t
sure what they meant. And after they
explained it’s speaking up for a cause, idea, or even a group of people, my
first thought was how I could never do that as I don’t have the expertise or
the confidence to advocate for anything. But then, once I got over my emotional reaction to the term “advocate” (emotional
reactions are my default setting), I realized as long as it was something I
believed in, that given some practice, especially in terms of how best to
communicate, even I could become
an advocate.
And that’s saying a lot as I’ve always been one to avoid conflict. But after watching Black for years, I now realize that it’s just a mindset, and although I may not take things as far as she will, I know I can share my experiences, my passions, my beliefs. Which is very different than trying to “prove” something. Yet, it can still have a huge impact. |
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I admit that at times I am a frustrated wanna-be attorney
and love building a case supporting my passions. (Some people have even
suggested I become a lobbyist,
which is a specific type of advocate.) And, although being able to recite facts
and figures may be useful and even powerful, it will rarely be as compelling an
“argument” as a heartfelt, real-life story. But, my “soapboxes” are things I have seen
first-hand (that does not mean I will not also do some research in order to be
better prepared), and I try to look at it from the perspective of others. (I will not get into the difference between empathy and
sympathy.) Initially, advocacy may not come easily, but as with most things, preparation and practice is the key. As are communication skills. All of which help you build confidence. Whether you are advocating for others or yourself. But, self-advocacy is a separate conversation for another day. |
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THE CONVERSATION STARTERS
- What does advocacy mean to you? Do you think you could be an advocate? If so, for what? And why?
- Think about something that someone changed your mind about. How did they do it?
- What are you passionate about? Why? What can you do to make a difference?
- What is the difference between a lobbyist and an advocate?
People have told us they’re using our sisterly banter to start conversations with others (family, friends, and even in classrooms), so Black created “Conversation Starters”.
The first time we posted this may have been the first time Red thought about the difference between being thankful and having gratitude. And it started a new Thanksgiving tradition (Black prefers to think of it as a “habit”) …
| I’m really looking forward to Thanksgiving this year, especially since last year was the first since Mom passed away, and the dining room table seemed incomplete. Which may partially explain why we ended up sitting around the kitchen table and island instead. And that was wonderful – so relaxed, easy, and fun – but I still couldn’t help but think of her not being with us. It’s funny because, over the years, even as life changed, such as the girls growing up and going off to college, I’ve always taken for granted that Thanksgiving would somehow always remain the same, cooking the same dishes, with all the preparation beginning days in advance. So, I'm not sure that I truly stopped and appreciated each Thanksgiving Day as I was so focused on everything I needed to get done. This year, though, I plan to take a moment to stop and think about some of the things I'm thankful for, and to start appreciating the day itself. To try to "be present", so to speak, in the present. |
| I know that Thanksgiving is about giving thanks, but what you just described is gratitude. Gratitude is "deeper" than thankfulness, and the best way I can describe it is … think about when you might write a thank you note – someone gives you something or does something for you. It is a fleeting event. Now think about if you were to write someone a note or letter of appreciation. You have repeatedly told me that mere mortals often need reminders, so what if this Thanksgiving you start a "gratitude habit"? Make a daily appointment with yourself to find a few quiet moments and write down at least one thing for which you are grateful. It can be as simple as sunlight on your face or the crunch of an apple. You are probably rolling your eyes right now, but it will only take a few minutes and can change your life. Or, at least, how you look at it. |
THE CONVERSATION STARTERS
- If you look back, what or who would you appreciate (or appreciate more) that you didn’t at the time?
- If you begin to appreciate the value of appreciation (pun intended), what might you want to be mindful of going forward?
- Do you think a "gratitude habit" might be useful? Would you be willing to "test-drive" (Black's words) one for a month and see if your opinion changes? Explain your answers.
People have told us they're using our sisterly banter to start conversations with others (family, friends, and even in classrooms), so Black created "Conversation Starters".
Not only is Christmas less than a week away, but so is Chanukah (the first night is on Christmas Day). And although we wrote this Conversation Starter years ago, we seem to have this same conversation every year.
| I can't believe how quickly the holidays are flying by. On one hand, all I want to do is enjoy them as I love this time of year. But I can't because there always seems so much to do. And I'm afraid that if I don't do everything on my holiday "to-do" list, I'll disappoint people, including me. You don't have this problem as you don't have kids and you live alone, plus others aren't looking to you to make the holidays festive and memorable. |
| You seem to start with your "to-do" list, whereas I think about the significance of the holiday and what will make it meaningful and memorable. Yes, it is a more pragmatic approach, but it makes the planning so much easier. You know that I dislike the over-commercialization of holidays, but it does provide a reminder that it is important to let others know how much you appreciate them. |
THE CONVERSATION STARTERS
- What's most important to you during the holidays? Why?
- Describe your "perfect" (yet realistic) holiday celebration. What it would take to make it come true?
- If you celebrate with others, have you ever discussed what's important to them?
P.S. – Since this is being posted in the midst of
the December holiday season (what Red refers to as the "silly season"), you
might be interested in these recent posts: