Red's Head Red assets.rebelmouse.io


OK, so I'm curious. All these years you've managed to stay a size 2, yet how did do you make it through the holidays?


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io


I have been a clothes horse for years – no, make that decades – so really cannot afford to let my weight fluctuate more than a few pounds.


Red's Head Red assets.rebelmouse.io


That makes sense, although it sounds obsessive. So, how do you resist delicious food when it's right in front of you?


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io


Easy. I live alone, so do not buy fattening foods that I would find "irresistible" or if I am craving something, I only buy a single portion.


Red's Head Red assets.rebelmouse.io


Clearly you haven't succumbed, as so many of us have during the pandemic, to treating yourself to comfort food. Anyway, sometimes it's out of your control. For example, the dozen delicious cupcakes that Kris sends each of us every year to celebrate the New Year.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io


It is a very thoughtful gift as everyone loves cupcakes. In fact, a few years ago, when they arrived, I offered one to the porter who brought them up. The smile on his face was so heart-warming, I decided to share the balance of the cupcakes with the building staff … and everyone was surprised and happy. Funny how cupcakes can make people smile.


Red's Head Red assets.rebelmouse.io


So, every time someone gives you food you either don't want or won't eat, you give it away?


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io


For the most part, yes.


Red's Head Red assets.rebelmouse.io


Well, that's honest. But don't you think knowing that would hurt the feelings of the person who sent it?


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io


I doubt it. I cannot imagine Kris thinks I will eat all 12 cupcakes. With other gifts, I would hope the sender would understand, especially as when you give a gift it is the thought that counts. And, not only do I appreciate their gift, but they are making other people happy as well. There is a ripple effect.


Red's Head Red assets.rebelmouse.io


Valid point. I shared my cupcakes, too. Although I did eat more than I had intended as they were so good, and I had to try all the flavors. I made up my mind that I rather have them go to my waist than waste them.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io


Cute. Rationalize them however you want, as long as it is a conscious decision. Sometimes I just take a bite or two of something and then destroy the rest so I do not have to exercise any willpower.


Red's Head Red assets.rebelmouse.io


I remember you doing that back in the good 'ole days when we'd go out to eat. You'd have a bite or two of your dessert and if no one else at the table wanted the rest, you'd pour pepper all over it. The first time you did it, everyone thought you were crazy, until you explained it.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io


Well, in my case I would rather waste the food than have it end up on my waist. We all have our priorities.
Rendering by porcorex on iStock


Red's Head assets.rebelmouse.io


Based on the "hints" in your Ghosting post, it sounds like your recent "romance" wasn't quite a Lady GaGa "bad romance", but, well, a frustrating one.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io


Interesting comparison, as years ago Gaga revealed that she is drawn to bad romances, but is not sure if she goes after them or they find her. Regardless, my "relationship" ended in the dating stage and never really became a romance. Either when I dated him almost 30 years ago, or recently. Although, this time, I thought it had potential.


Red's Head assets.rebelmouse.io


I was amazed that you were even willing to "rekindle" the relationship as you're not exactly a believer in "recycling" relationships, as I think you once phrased it. In fact, I thought you were pretty adamant about the concept of not repeating your mistakes.
Keep Reading ... Show less
Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

It started when Black sent Red a LinkedIn post about Louis Armstrong, asking her to "connect the dots" (one of Black's favorite things to do). Red knew that he was one of the most distinctive and talented jazz musicians in American history, but it was a complete surprise to learn that he had such a strong connection to a Jewish couple that immigrated from Lithuania and that he wore a Star of David for most of his life to honor them. That alone made it a "truth is stranger than fiction" story. The fact it's also a touching story about kindness and love makes this, at least for Red, even better than fiction.

Black, who prefers the pragmatic aspects of Armstrong's unusual journey – from being an impoverished black boy to an extraordinary career as a musician, singer, and composer – and sees it as a story of overcoming barriers, realizing your potential, and finding freedom (and she discloses an interesting connection between Armstrong and Independence Day).

Our July column, "RED & BLACK … The Sound Of Freedom," connects all those dots and is about so much more than surprising facts about Louis Armstrong. It's also about the power of music, inspiration, and hope, not to mention a very different way of looking at freedom.

Want to read other columns? Here's a list.

Everyone laughs and wants to hear the story when I mention that I was recently "ghosted" by someone I had dated. What I find interesting is that ghosting has become so prevalent in today's society (and is not restricted to dating) that there is a term to describe the sudden "disappearance" of someone who wants to avoid all future contact with you.

Going back decades, I know there have been first dates that, at the time, I thought went well. But, after getting the "I'll call you" line … I never did. As a teenager, I can remember anxiously waiting for the phone (a landline tethered to the wall – and yes, I am that old) to ring, not wanting to go out and possibly miss the call. And, being very disappointed by the silence. Now, I cannot even remember who they were.

Keep Reading ... Show less