Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash


red head red head assets.rebelmouse.io

Given all the "supply chain warnings", I'm starting my Thanksgiving planning a little earlier this year and saw that this year your birthday falls on Thanksgiving!


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io

Yes. It happens every so often. And, although I do not like to celebrate my birthday any more than I like to celebrate holidays, at least I can kill two birds with one stone.


red head red head assets.rebelmouse.io

Only you would look for ways to efficiently "celebrate" special occasions.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io

Actually, looking for ways to avoid them. For years, when you lived overseas, I would go away for my birthday, which meant it was also a good way to avoid Thanksgiving.


red head red head assets.rebelmouse.io

Well, the girls have always loved having you come out to the house, especially since it's a relatively rare occurrence. Plus, on Thanksgiving, they'd enjoy it when you and Mom would argue with each other. I'd find it stressful, but for them, it's sheer entertainment. Talk about a holiday tradition.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io

Exactly. You are probably too young to remember, but when Uncle David and Grandpa Louie were still alive, every large family gathering, regardless of the occasion, included arguments that were actually debates. It is funny, the same arguments would continue for years with us never agreeing. But, it was never mean-spirited. And, for me, it was sport.


red head red head assets.rebelmouse.io

I'm glad you enjoy it, but as one who prefers conflict avoidance, not to mention being the warm and fuzzy one, I like celebrations where everyone behaves or, ideally, actually gets along.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io

How boring. Does that mean everyone also has to like the same kind of potatoes? You accept that some people like mashed potatoes, while others like mashed sweet potatoes with marshmallows, or some (like me) prefer baked yams. You do not pass judgment, and you always make all of them.


red head red head assets.rebelmouse.io

I'm not sure I'd equate having different opinions with liking different kinds of potatoes. Regardless, it's Thanksgiving, so I want everyone to be happy, at least in their food options. Anyway, it's no big deal because one of the best parts of Thanksgiving, besides the big inflatable turkey on the front yard that always makes me smile, is being able to "hide" in the kitchen for a day of cooking.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io

We are so different. You show you care by doing something you enjoy, cooking. Whereas, I show I care by showing up. Eating food I do not particularly like. (Have you ever noticed that I do not eat the turkey or the stuffing?) And, helping you with much of the clean-up because I feel it is the least I can do.


red head red head assets.rebelmouse.io

Really? Although I always appreciate your help, I thought you left the dining room as a way to limit how much you might be tempted to eat, especially as we can sit there for hours talking and nibbling. It's funny because, for most of us, Thanksgiving's more than just a meal; it's about giving thanks for all we have, and about memories from the past and hopes for the future.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io

It seems to me those things can be done even if it is not Thanksgiving.


red head red head assets.rebelmouse.io

In theory, yes. But most of us "mere mortals" do better with a specific day to celebrate. It's like birthdays. It's a perfect way to remember how important someone is and to make a point of telling them.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io

I do not disagree.


red head red head assets.rebelmouse.io

Then why don't you celebrate your birthday?


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io

There is a huge difference between acknowledging a birthday and making a big deal out of it. For example, the fact you and the girls, and then once Natasha moved overseas, you and Sawyer, always make a point of coming into Houston to see me, although not necessary, is always appreciated.


red head red head assets.rebelmouse.io

Of course, it's necessary. It's your birthday! But this year, we'll already all be together since it's on Thanksgiving.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io

Well, since I know "celebrating" is important to you, just put a candle in one of those cute turkey cupcakes you make every year. You know, the ones with the nasty candy corn as feathers.


red head red head assets.rebelmouse.io

Hey, I love candy corn. But in the spirit of celebrating your birthday in a way that will make you happy, how about a candle in a baked yam? Although I'll warn you now, the singing of "Happy Birthday" is non-negotiable.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io

And, you know what else makes me happy? My birthday will not fall on Thanksgiving again until 2027.

Want to read other columns? Here's a list.

Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Almost everyone likes Thanksgiving, but of course, Black's not one of them. First, she's not a fan of the traditional Thanksgiving food and only has one thing she likes, unlike most of us who'd be hard-pressed to narrow it down to one favorite. And then there's the "forced" sense of celebration. She remembers the best part of Thanksgiving when we were growing up in New York wasn't the table laden with food, but having lots of relatives busy "arguing" with each other, but that tradition ended too soon for Black. (Red, who's definitely into conflict avoidance, is glad it did.)

Black's consistent in that she also dislikes celebrating her birthday, and this year it falls on Thanksgiving. All of which creates a bit of a challenge for Red, who loves to celebrate both. So, what's Red to do? Well, believe it or not, in "RED & BLACK … A Birthday Turkey", Black's potato analogy may provide a clue.

Want to read other columns? Here's a list.

Created by Black
Red loves Thanksgiving, turkey, and TV dinners, but last year she never expected that they would somehow be connected (thanks to Black!) to a history lesson. This year, even though it will be a more "normal" Thanksgiving dinner, we decided to rerun the column, while Red can't help but wonder if Black still prefers sushi over turkey …

Red's Head Red assets.rebelmouse.io


I know it can't be avoided, but I feel bad that Mom's spending Thanksgiving alone, but given the coronavirus it can't be helped.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io


Unfortunately, there are many people in that situation this year. Myself included.


Red's Head Red assets.rebelmouse.io


Please. You only "do" Thanksgiving because it's expected of you. Unlike Mom, you don't even want me to make you a Thanksgiving dinner care package.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io


Not a fan of turkey – but did you know that TV dinners were created because of Thanksgiving?

Keep Reading ... Show less
Violence at Home #SignalForHelp

"This is probably the best thing I've seen come along in the 48 years I've been a patrol officer."Sheriff's Deputy Gilbert Acciardo


red head red head assets.rebelmouse.io

Thanks for sending the link to the article about the teenager who was rescued because she used a hand signal she learned on TikTok! I had already seen the story on the news over the weekend and immediately spoke to the girls about it.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io

I am guessing they already knew about it, but it is those of us who are not on TikTok that need to know about it. It is one of those rare times when I think social media is valuable and, in this case, can be lifesaving.


red head red head assets.rebelmouse.io

As the mother of two girls, my first instinct was to make the girls heads-up in case, G-d forbid, they ever find themselves in a situation where they can't call for help or draw too much attention to themselves. Although I guess that could happen to us, too.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io

I understand, but if the person seeing the signal has no idea what it means, then it is worthless. Everyone needs to watch this video. The signal is easy to do – and easy to remember.


red head red head assets.rebelmouse.io


The girl in the story was so lucky as although she was "trapped" in a car, a passing motorist knew what the signal was. Although it seems that the police in the area weren't familiar with it.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io


At the risk of repeating myself, that is why everyone needs to watch this video. And, although it was initially developed by the Canadian's Women's Foundation for women facing domestic abuse, the very simple hand signal (with the palm facing out, tuck the thumb into the palm, then cover the thumb with four fingers) can be used by anyone to discreetly ask for help or show they are in distress.


red head red head assets.rebelmouse.io

Well, I give it another hand signal … a big ole thumbs up!