RED & BLACK … Talk About … Speaking

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red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Well, I figured it would be one of our best speaking engagements, or worst.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	If you review it in terms of all our speaking engagements since COVID, it was both.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	That’s because it was our only one. Although I’ll admit once we started talking, everything came back.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	That could be because we are just being ourselves and telling our real-life stories, so it is not like we have to memorize them.

red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Yes, that definitely makes it easier. But you know me, once a straight-A student, always a straight-A student. And because we custom tailor each presentation, I need to make sure I know exactly what we’re including and how we may be personalizing it.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	That is why our slides are images, not words. Not only because that makes them more interesting, but they are prompts for us. Which is critical as we speak on a wide range of topics – from personal finance, one of our most popular, to various Life 101 things like relationships, time management, handling stress, and even your piles of paper.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	And that doesn’t even get into business topics. But given your comments are sometimes “off the cuff”, I can get distracted.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Like years ago, when I threw in the slide of one of your stuffed animals asking you to tell the story of it writing you letters.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	I wondered why everyone was laughing, and then I saw the slide. However, I was thinking of the time we were talking about relationships, and you suggested taking emotions out of the equation. I know you’re a Vulcan, but I really wanted to be sitting in the audience instead of standing next to you. Not only because I couldn’t wait to hear what you were going to say, but I didn’t want to figure out how to respond.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	But, that is what makes Red & Black, Red & Black. We are real. And, we have different ways of looking at things. As do our audiences. All we do is give them food for thought.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Speaking of which, I laughed when you opened our recent engagement to a room full of people who were fasting for Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, and the holiest Jewish holiday, with a warning that you were going to use a four-letter word starting with the letter “F” … Food!
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	I never know how I am going to open until it happens. But, I know the day is about reflection, making fundamental changes, and trying to become a better person. And, is why Rabbi Scott asked us to present a workshop about money.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	When he first invited us to do a workshop in 2014, I questioned whether we were appropriate speakers for a spiritual journey since our approach is to “laugh and learn”.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	They are not mutually exclusive. And, explains why he had us back this year.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	It’s funny, but until we were asked to speak on Yom Kippur, I never realized how many of our stories involved food.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	I know. Even our first speaking engagement was at a professional women’s breakfast. And, our detour into criminal justice began at a prison with the only kosher kitchen in Texas. We seem to mention food at every turn.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Which the audience loved. And with all my personal finance “duh moments” – from mindless spending at Jamba Juice to expensive grocery stores – it certainly gave them plenty of food for thought. Sorry, couldn’t resist.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Impromptu comments like that, and even your apologies, make you more of a warm and fuzzy mom and less of a “perfect student” and, therefore, relatable. Not to mention, you were 40+ years old when your husband was fired, and you were forced to learn many life lessons you had managed to avoid.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Thanks for pointing that out. Not my crisis, the unplanned comments. I remember how I freaked out the first time you changed the “script” on me. I was probably like a deer in headlights.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	You were. Which made it even more fun. For me, at least. Except I never changed the message or the order of the topics; I merely fine-tuned my comments based on “knowing your audience”. That is why I make a point of talking to people before we speak; I consider it “audience research”.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	And I’ve come to expect that from you. That’s why I enjoyed returning the favor the time we were about to step on stage in front of over 400 eighth graders at 8 a.m. and said, “Good luck and have fun, and oh yeah, eighth graders have the attention span of a gnat.”
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Oh, I remember. I also remember the feedback, and it ended up being one of our best events. The students, especially the girls, loved that I raced Ferraris and used car analogies, but the fact you were this warm and fuzzy mom admitting all your mistakes, freely and with humor, made you very relatable. And, your messages memorable and valuable.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Well, we all know that kids will listen to almost anyone other than their parents. But I guess that can be said of spouses, too.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	No one wants to be told what to do. Full stop. But, everyone loves stories. And, we tell many of the same stories regardless of whether we are talking to students or educators, businesses or community organizations and religious groups. The only difference is that we select the stories based on the event and our audience.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Which is why I like to be prepared and study my notes. Especially as we’re constantly adding new stories based on our lives. The good news is that we’ll never run out of stories. Or topics. However, my absolute favorite part of our speaking engagements is the end.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	I assume you do not mean when we leave the stage, but rather when we open it to Q&A.
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	Exactly! In fact, I’d love it if our events were almost entirely Q&A. Especially since there’s nothing the audience can’t ask us. After all, you put my crisis into a book. And our daily lives online.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	That works for me, but how do you plan to “study” for questions you do not know in advance?
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Sometimes I think you prefer asking questions to answering them.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	And, sometimes, you think you can avoid my questions.

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Words & Banter

Independence … Something Worth Celebrating. Every Day!

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How you celebrate July 4^th may change from year to year (Red will still enjoy a quiet holiday, but this year will be reading as it may take all summer to get through “War and Peace”), but what should never change is remembering WHY (one of Black’s favorite words) we celebrate as well as the sacrifices made to live in a free country …

Red's Head Red assets.rebelmouse.io

This is going to be a very unusual July 4 ^th for me, with neither girl being home. Natasha always hated the fireworks, but Sawyer would insist we do all the traditional things – barbequing, lots of watermelon, and then watching the fireworks in the Texas heat and humidity. So, this year, I plan to make it a really “cool” holiday … staying in the air-conditioned house, watching a movie or one of my TV series, and celebrating my day of independence from any “mom” responsibilities with a big bucket of freshly popped popcorn!

Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io

Well, everyone celebrates differently. But, when I think of Independence Day, I think about the challenges our Founding Fathers faced when they drafted the Declaration of Independence , especially as they did not always agree on issues. Challenges our nation continues to face (it is a holiday, so I will not get into the increasingly divisive aspects of politics). And, I cannot help but wonder how many people realize the extent of the sacrifices made by those who signed it in exchange for our country’s freedom. Which is why, as we celebrate July 4^th, we need to remember,

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

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Words & Banter

More Than A Flag ... An Important Message

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What do you get when you cross Flag Day (June 14) with June being Effective Communication Month? Well, if you include Black in the mix, you get one of Red’s favorite memories … and a unique way to think about the importance of communicating – whether in your personal or professional life. And especially if you’re in a racecar!

assets.rebelmouse.io	This past weekend, I noticed a bunch of flags on my street and wondered why since July 4 ^th is still almost a month away. But this morning, I learned that today's Flag Day.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Well, for someone who likes to decorate for the holidays, I would have thought you would have known all about it.
assets.rebelmouse.io	I've heard of it, but I never really thought much about it, let alone when it is. I knew it had to do with the American flag, but it surprised me that it has nothing to do with Betsy Ross, which legend has made the first flag, although it seems there's no evidence to support that.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	If you want an interesting "story", read about why the American flag is called Old Glory . Regardless, the American flag, like all flags, communicates a message.
assets.rebelmouse.io	I know you like to connect odd dots, but only you would see a connection between flags and communications.

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Words & Banter

Remember ... The Day On The Beach – That Changed The World

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There’s much debate about the role America should play in world politics and standing by our allies, and we can’t help but wonder … how many people look at history before forming their opinions? Which is why we feel so strongly about remembering D-Day (and are rerunning the post below), which is about so much more than just a day …

red head assets.rebelmouse.io	I still can’t believe you didn’t know what D-Day was.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	All I knew was it had to do with World War II and beaches. And, required lots of strategic planning. Remember, I am not a history buff like you.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Or a movie buff. There has been an assortment of D-Day movies, and I wouldn’t expect you to have watched the older movies, like “ The Longest Day” with John Wayne, but I figured you’d have seen “ Saving Private Ryan .”
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	The Tom Hanks movie? It was a great war movie, but from what I remember, it was about the search for a particular soldier during WWII. Although I remember the opening scene showed the horrors of war. Regardless, I do not get my “history” from movies that might take literary license for the sake of storytelling, even if Steven Spielberg’s movies are mostly accurate.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	That opening scene WAS D-Day.

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Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Not really. In the case of the American flag, they needed something to communicate a new nation fighting for its freedom . But remember when I gave Natasha a set of racing flags years ago?
assets.rebelmouse.io	How could I forget? It was a very difficult and challenging time. And although you had already made me realize that different people like to communicate differently , the problem with Natasha wasn't so much how to communicate with her as figuring out when. We were frustrated and walking around on eggshells because we never knew when she was in a good mood or a bad mood, when it was safe to talk to her, and when she needed to be left alone.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Sometimes flags are the perfect way to communicate a message when words are not an option.
assets.rebelmouse.io	Leave it to you to use racing flags to solve what seemed like an impossible situation in a way that was not only clever but appealed to her because of her love of cars and racing. And we know where she got that from!
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	It just seemed logical. As did the cheat sheet where I basically "translated" the racing meanings of the different color flags for your use. For example, in racing, a green flag can either be the start of a race, a re-start, or just displayed to communicate safe racing. With Natasha, it would mean it was "safe" to talk to her. In racing, a yellow flag means caution and to slow down, which needs no further explanation.
assets.rebelmouse.io	I remember her telling me, quite emphatically, that a black flag means "Go away." Which made me laugh because it just seemed so, well, appropriate, given that's something I could see you saying.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	On the track, it means to go to the pits, usually because you are in trouble. So, I cannot argue with your comment about it being appropriate for me. But, keep in mind that a red flag means to "Stop!"

Black assets.rebelmouse.io	I know that … now. I always remembered D-Day fell on June 6 because Mom and Daddy got married on June 6 (1950). And, almost 40 years later, you got married on their anniversary.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Well, that’s ancient history. And unfortunately, my marriage wasn’t as successful as D-Day. Although I’m not a WWII expert, D-Day’s also known as the Battle of Normandy and considered the beginning of the end of the war in Europe. It was an incredible turning point and changed the course of the war . And history.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	I have always found it fascinating how a singular event can turn the tide, not only through its success in the moment but in its ability to inspire people. How bravery, perseverance, and the willingness to fight for what you genuinely believe, to the death, if necessary, is extremely powerful.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Are you talking about D-Day or more recent events, such as the war in Ukraine? I can draw parallels as they’re both about fighting for freedom in Europe, which also impacts the world. But it’s as if people refuse to learn lessons from history. And we live in a world, in a country, that’s becoming more and more polarized, with seemingly fewer and fewer people willing to put the greater good above themselves.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	That is why days of remembrance, such as D-Day, are so important. I may not have known the specific details, but that does not stop me from appreciating and respecting the sacrifices that so many made for our country. At the time, those soldiers may not have known the far-reaching impact of their actions, or even whether they would be successful, but that did not lessen their commitment and bravery.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	I can’t imagine the feeling of responsibility and willingness to die for the future of the free world. Historians regard it as one of the greatest military achievements ever, but not to lessen its significance, and I’m almost embarrassed to admit this, but I’ve never known what the “D” in D-Day stands for? Maybe Departure, Decision, or even Doomsday? Although I could make a case for Democracy, Determination, or Daring.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	How about “Day”? And no, I am not being sarcastic. “ D-Day” was an Army designation used to indicate the start date for a specific field operation. So, it does not stand for anything. At least, not at the time … because D-Day now stands for so much.