| I’m not sure who’s more excited about Sawyer doing so well at her weekend waitressing job at P. F. Chang’s, me for how she’s balancing her college classes with working, or her because she’s making good money. |
| I am impressed that she plans to save most of it so that she has a nest egg when she graduates. Too bad you did not have the same understanding of money when you were her age. Or, even when you were in your 20s or 30s. |
| You’re never going to let me forget that, are you? I can’t help that I found personal finance intimidating, so avoided it. Plus, it’s confusing. And tedious. And boring. |
| That is one way to look at it – but as you eventually learned, if you can add and subtract, you can “do” personal finance. But, you have made significant progress. You used to kick and scream about it; now you just whine. |
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Black
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| Fine, but just because I now have a better understanding of personal finance, it doesn’t make it any more interesting. But just like brushing my teeth, I know it’s something I need to do because not doing it has repercussions. |
| Great analogy, especially as personal finance is important for everyone. |
| But just because something’s important doesn’t mean “everyone” wants to know about it, or do it. For years, we’ve been saying that people would rather be entertained than educated. |
|
I will never forget how
surprised I was that our book,
which was supposed to be the basis of a sitcom, ended up being a powerful way
to “teach” personal finance and other life lessons. I envisioned people enjoying
the sisterly banter and
all the other “characters”, so was focused on them, not the subject matter. |
| Yes, while I was focused on my personal crisis, you were busy turning it into a book – a brand – a business. |
| Once I realized that the most successful sitcoms were about relationships and basic day-to-day living, it seemed logical to use your financial predicament as the backdrop. It was never intended as a “laugh and learn”. |
|
Well, “I Love Lucy” never did an episode on her trying to understand
financial statements. And I doubt “Seinfeld” or “Friends” ever talked
about credit cards. |
| Missed opportunities. Think about our “Assets and Liabilities” story. You started freaking out at the mere mention of financial statements. Telling me how I was the MBA and you were the theater major. Then, when I thought I was making it easier by focusing on assets and liabilities, you completely lost it. Insisting you could not do this. Complaining that you hated math. Your theatrics alone would make it a funny scene. |
| Thanks. Happy to help! |
| Then, when I simplified it and said I wanted to talk about “what you own” versus “what you owe,” you calmed down. And, much to my amusement, you then declared that you could do that, just not assets and liabilities. |
| How was I supposed to know they were the same thing? |
|
The point is that it is a funny story. And one that many people
seem to enjoy, as many people can relate to
being intimidated by terminology. |
| That, and thinking that understanding, let alone “doing”, personal finance requires an MBA. Let’s face it, by creating mental roadblocks, I became my own worst enemy. |
| That is an understatement. But, that “character flaw” can lead to an assortment of amusing episodes. As does thinking that just having more money was the answer, not realizing the key was how you handled the money you had. That having more might mean larger mistakes. |
| Is this where you’re going to tell me about all the celebrities, athletes, and lottery winners who made (or won) millions, but ended up broke or in bankruptcy? I still love how you use Nicholas Cage and his purchase of two ‒ not one, but two ‒ castles to make that point! |
| If these people understood the basics of personal finance, they would have made very different decisions. It is as simple as money coming in and money going out. I guess no one asked them if they could add and subtract. |
| The first time you asked me that, I thought it was just another one of your sarcastic remarks. And whenever we tell that to people, whether an auditorium full of eighth-graders or one person in a business meeting, they always laugh. |
| I miss doing speaking engagements. I loved asking people how many like math. Everyone would look around to see who the nerds in the room were. Then when I asked how many like money, everyone’s hands went up. It is all in the packaging. |
| Which is why I’d love to circle back to the sitcom idea. But how do we get Hollywood to see that a sitcom about personal finance and other Life 101 topics could be successful? And funny! |
| Easy. By not telling them. We focus on the characters that are resonating with audiences of all ages ‒ a warm and fuzzy stay-at-home mom and her pragmatic and sarcastic retired executive sister who races Ferraris, who are surrounded by an assortment of other “characters”. |
| So, just totally ignore the “laugh and learn”. |
| When I first envisioned your crisis as a sitcom, I saw it as something to be disclosed on a need-to-know basis, and at the time, you did not need to know. This is no different. |
| Now that’s funny. |
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"Too Darn Hot" - Kiss Me Kate | Ann Miller (HD Print)
Regardless of why summers are getting hotter and hotter … they are. Which is miserable for everyone. But, don’t sweat it, we’re rerunning this post as a reminder of what you can do to make the heat just a little more bearable – for you and others. Plus, Red loves the movie clip …
| I know everyone’s talking about the record-setting temperatures because everyone’s experiencing them, but I’m so tired of it being so damn hot out. Or, should I say “too darn hot,” in honor of one of my favorite all-time musicals, “Kiss Me, Kate”? |
| You said it was worse when you lived in Hong Kong and Shanghai because there was little difference between day and evening temperatures and humidity. At least here, it cools off a little once the sun goes down. |
| But not enough. I know I’m getting older, so that doesn’t help, but the heat seems more oppressive, and I’m not only lethargic but cranky. |
| I think the correct word is … crankier. But, if it makes you feel any better, research provides a legitimate reason for being tired and cranky – the more our bodies work to cope with the physical heat, the less we can deal with the associated emotions. |
| Of course, you researched it. |
| And, even though I typically do not “do” nice, the heat makes me realize the need to be patient with people. |
| That’s funny. While everyone else is getting testy, you get nice. But since I know everyone’s feeling the heat, I try to think of others. Even a small gesture can make a big difference. For example, when I runerrands (which, ideally, would be early morning but, realistically, tend to belate afternoon), I make a point to let shoppers walking in the parking lotalways have the right of way since I’m protected from the sun in the comfort ofmy air-conditioned car while they’re outside in the blistering sun. |
| Did you know that heat waves are the #1 weather-related killer in the U.S., killing more people than floods, hurricanes, or tornadoes? That is why they started naming heat waves – so they would get the attention they deserve. And some cities (Miami, Phoenix, and LA) have even appointed heat officers. |
| I didn’t know about that, but I do know that when the girls were small, they needed special attention. Same with the elderly. And don’t forget animals, too! I limit Moo’s outside time and make sure she stays hydrated. I even set the timer for 10 minutes when I let her out. |
| I admit I am very fortunate as I can hide from the heat in my air-conditioned high-rise. But, to help the demands on Houston’s power grid, I have raised the temperature setting on my A/C even though I can feel the effect on my productivity. I have also closed blinds and drapes, unplugged non-essential appliances, and am taking cooler, shorter showers. |
| I have done the same! Although I’ll admit I was prompted by an email from my electricity provider. It also had great tips for the best time to run appliances, like trying to avoid the hours when most people get home from work as they turn on or lower A/C’s, run ovens and washing machines, etc. |
| There is much we can and should do, but I do not want to start talking about global warming or climate change, or who is to blame, even though it is a “hot topic” (sorry, could not resist). |
| Well, I hear this month’s being declared the hottest month ever, and hopefully, we’ll weather, pun intended, this summer’s heat. But I’m afraid things are only going to get worse over the coming years. |
| Agree, but for now, all I have to say is … if you must go out in the heat, PLEASE avoid these eight mistakes. |
Since we first ran the conversation below, autism awareness has become more commonplace, but there’s a big difference between that and acceptance. (Which is why April is now Autism ACCEPTANCE Month.) Not to mention assumptions. Labels aside, don’t we all have something of value to contribute? Think about your different abilities (Black calls them “diff-abilities”), and you may find a new way to look at others, especially those with autism -- with respect, empathy, and a desire to better understand their situations, strengths, and challenges.
| Did you know that April's Autism Awareness Month? I wasn't aware (pun intended) of it until I read our local homeowner's monthly newsletter and it caught my eye. |
| Actually, last month the founding organization, the Autism Society, changed "Awareness "to "Acceptance" to foster inclusivity, as knowing about something is very different from accepting it. But I am guessing that is not the point of this call. |
| Although it isn't autism, it reminded me of years ago when we found out that Natasha has learning disabilities. |
| I think you mean DIFF-abilities. |
| Of course, that's another thing I remember. I was focused on the negative aspects of her diagnosis until you asked me, point-blank, "Why are they called disabilities?" And proceeded to explain that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. |
| Exactly! Imagine the world if everyone excelled at math, but flunked English. Or, a world of lawyers, but no musicians. Some people are better at social skills, while others excel at handling technical data. Why not just say that people who have different skillsets and abilities have DIFF-abilities versus making them feel like they have shortcomings? |
| I know that you completely changed my way of thinking, not only about Natasha but about the concept of "disabilities" full stop. It opened my eyes – and my brain – about how just because someone has challenges or limited abilities in some areas, that doesn't mean they don't have different gifts and strengths in other areas. |
| Exactly. Although autism is a "spectrum condition" meaning it affects people differently and to varying degrees, it is a complex developmental disorder that can affect a person's social skills, and ability to communicate and interact with others. However, autistic people usually possess some extremely valuable traits that are rare in non-autistic people. |
| Which is why it frustrates me that so many people feel like those with disabilities, excuse me DIFF-abilities, are "lesser" people. When Natasha was diagnosed, she was in her teens and already had a very strong personality (no doubt inherited from you) and, luckily, seemed to have an innate understanding that she was just different, not better, not worse, than others. I guess one of the biggest challenges is to get others to see things with the same mindset. |
| We are a story-telling society, and there are countless stories of people with DIFF-abilities, including those with autism, that are eye-opening and more powerful than anything we could ever say. |
| Funny you say that, as I was curious to learn more about autism and found some inspiring quotes (including a wonderful Tom Hanks clip) that not only gave me great insight but made me smile. One of my favorites was how Paul Collins, an author and parent of an autistic child, said, "Autists are the ultimate square pegs, and the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It's that you're destroying the peg." That's such a great way to describe not only those with autism but any disability. |
| Well, technically, it will fit, but it requires that the diameter of the circle be larger than the diagonal of the square. Basic geometry. But, I understand Paul Collin's point. |
| Talk about DIFF-abilities! Couldn't you just agree with me? |
| The thought never crossed my mind. |
Maybe Skin Cancer Advice, But Don’t Expect A Compliment From A Sarcastic Sister
I'll never forget the day. It was an "almost" ordinary day out on the golf course with my mom and dad during the heat of a Long Island summer. Now, if "Long Island" conjures up images of stately manors on the North Shore (think "Great Gatsby") or beachfront mansions in the Hamptons (think Robin Leach and his popular show "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous"), you can put those out of your head. I'm not talking about some fancy country club golf course, just a regular public course.
I loved the game ever since I learned to play as a teenager, and although I never got to play while at college (Wake Forest, which was renowned for its golf program, with its most famous alumni being Arnold Palmer), I'd try to get out as often as possible when I was home. I wasn't a phenomenal player but had a decent game and natural talent. And most of the time, I hit it pretty straight, so one of the things I enjoyed was walking down the middle of the fairway, pulling my clubs along (no fancy golf carts on this course), appreciating the day and the sport.
On one (very rare) occasion, my sister came back to New York to visit, as she moved out of state as soon as she graduated from business school. She also played golf, but unlike me, who relied on natural ability and played for fun, she worked extremely hard at her game, was overly competitive, and played "business golf". The result was that she was a far better player than me, although I was holding my own on that day.
As Black often says, the scorecard contains only numbers, no editorial. And it would ultimately show that she'd beat me, but as we were each walking up one of the last holes toward our respective balls, in the heat of a late summer afternoon, with the sun at our backs, I was secretly hoping that she'd be proud of me. So, after I hit my fairway shot onto the green, I heard her call out to me, and my hopes were high,
I wasn't sure whether to laugh, cry, or be angry. Or to just roll my eyes as it really was something only my sister would say. And to this day, I'm not even sure if she had even noticed how close I came to beating her and how well I played – "upping" my game driven by her much better game.
But I also know that I can never look down at my very pale legs without laughing just a little at how a lifetime ago (or so it seems), she was so right. Recently, when she treated me to my first pair of Birkenstocks, I stood in the store trying them on, and before she had a chance to say it I told her … Yes, I do look like I have on white hose.
P. S. – I feel it only fair (pun intended) to have a P.S. for a P.S.A. – Long ago, the harm of the summer sun wasn't as well known, but in the years since, we've learned how important sunblock is. Year-round. So, whether you're a redhead who never tans (I used to cycle between being extremely pale and burning red and back again) or someone who does tan, take care of your skin!