Words & Banter

Keeping A Ferrari Engine Secret?

Exotic Car Hacks Ferrari 30 Buyers Guide


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

I hope you know that I immediately thought of you when I read that Axios article you sent me about keeping financial secrets from your spouse.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

Why me? I sent it to you because the survey supports my position that people in serious relationships should exchange credit reports so that there are no surprises. Not to mention, they need to be open and honest about money.


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

Well, it reminded me of how you told me about lying to your husband when you blew your Ferrari engine. It was years ago, but I’ll never forget it. In fact, I still laugh and shake my head in amazement.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

You really do need to get a life.

red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io


Admit it, there aren’t too many people that have “replace Ferrari engine” as a line item on their credit card bill or monthly budget.

Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


Well, it was not a planned expenditure. Although when the engine blew on the racetrack, I was prepared in terms of knowing where to safely pull over and quickly exit the car.

red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io


Of course, you were. But, at what point did you decide to lie to your husband about the cost of the engine? I still don’t know how much that engine cost, but he could easily afford to replace it. He was already paying for you to race Ferraris. So, why did you choose to pay for half of it yourself?

Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


Trust me, even half was a big number. And, the 360 Ferrari Challenge had one of the best V-8 engines they ever made.

red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io


You’re avoiding the question.

Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


When we got married, he made sure to keep all our assets totally separate. He knew I had some money of my own, although nothing on the magnitude of his, so it was not like I was hiding money. My racing was already costing him so much, so I thought paying half was the least I could do.

red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io


But did you tell him that, or just lead him to believe that his “half” was the “full” amount?

Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


What difference does it make?

red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io


Is there a reason you didn’t want him to know you were trying to be considerate? Especially because when I went through my crisis, you always talked about the importance of having open and honest communication, especially about money.

Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


I still feel that way, but a conversation requires more than one person. Since I handled most of his money for him, including the interface with his wealth managers and tax accountants, he made it very clear there was nothing more to discuss. And, any time I tried to bring up the topic of money, he would cut me off and just say, “Everything’s great.”


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

Well, it was. At least financially.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

Yes, if you only look at the numbers. But, we had very different attitudes toward money, and that was something he would not discuss. Many people, regardless of financial status, are not comfortable talking about money.


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

I know my natural tendency is to avoid what I perceive as difficult conversations, which definitely includes money, but surely not everyone feels the way I do.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

Initially, did you avoid financial conversations because you felt intimidated and confused, or because you were trying to avoid conflict?


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

Back then, both. Now that I have a better understanding of money, it’s just an awkward topic. Especially since most people don’t talk, they argue, about it.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

Or, keep secrets or avoid the topic entirely. Which may seem “helpful” in the short term but are not long-term solutions.


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

Says the woman who ultimately got divorced. So, tell me, if you had to do it over again, would you have handled the situation with the Ferrari engine any differently?


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

Hindsight should be 20-20. Looking back, there were probably things I could have done to avoid blowing the engine.

Familiar with the saying, "It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity”? Well, with unbearably hot temperatures around the country, does it really matter which it is? Or even if it’s both?! Which is why this older “Ask Red & Black” is still relevant



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I'm laughing because I suspect Black would argue that I rarely look "nice" in the sense that I rarely "dress up". Even before the pandemic, unless I had a Red& Black business meeting or speaking engagement, my normal "look" was that of super comfy – workout or very casual clothing and minimal makeup. Here in Texas, where the heat and humidity are oppressive, I'm always looking for tips because the moment you step outside, you're going to start sweating, your makeup will drip, and your hair will either frizz or wilt (neither's a good look for me). So, I keep my skincare simple and summer-friendly – extremely lightweight, tinted facial moisturizer with a high SPF (so I only need a single product) and waterproof mascara.

I've never been very creative when managing my long hair for the summer, but my daughter let me in on a secret when she straightened my hair for me. Unlike my rushed approach, she took an extra 10 minutes to do it in smaller sections, which looked great when my hair was down, but amazingly, even made my ponytail look "finished". Taking a little more time to do it right makes a huge difference, as now my hair stands up to the heat and humidity. (Good news is she's always willing to do it for me, bad news is that she goes to college in a few months, so I'll have to learn how to do it myself.)


Black's HeadBlackassets.rebelmouse.io


When I started racing cars in the mid-1990s, I cut my hair very short so I could easily style it with some water and hair goo when I removed my helmet, which makes it perfect for summer. (Plus, I calculated that I could save over 10 hours/week, or five full days a year, by not dealing with my hair.)

In terms of clothing, it is a function of where you are going or where you work (obviously, if you are in the banking industry, you will dress very differently from someone who works for a design or marketing firm). For the last few decades, I have worn the same "uniform" – dark slacks or jeans, white shirt, blazer, and colorful Hermès shawl. In the summer, I select pieces that are light-colored, loose-fitting, and breathable fabrics, but if I had to give one tip, it would be to wear layers since going in and out of air-conditioning can be a challenge, although I see it as a fashion opportunity. In fact, that is how my "signature" shawls started as, regardless of the season, I would always have one with me to handle changes in temperature.
Photo by michaelmjc on iStock

No matter the reason for a garage sale – whether to get rid of things you’re not using anymore, an attempt to declutter, or estate sale “leftovers” – they can be about so much more than just “stuff”. And is why we’re rerunning one of Red’s favorite posts. Plus, Saturday’s National Garage Sale Day. (Yes, that’s a real thing.)



Black's HeadBlackassets.rebelmouse.io

Thanks for the accounting of your garage sale. But, given how many hours you spent preparing for it, and then the actual sale itself, did you calculate how much you“earned” on a $/hour basis?


red headred headassets.rebelmouse.io

No, all I know is that it seemed to take forever to go through everything in Mom’s house and decide what to keep, what to sell, what to donate. And what to trash. As far as the garage sale, I’ll give you your half the next time I see you.


Black's HeadBlackassets.rebelmouse.io

Keep my half. You did all the work. I did not even offer to help.


red headred headassets.rebelmouse.io

And that was a big help. Thank you.
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"Too Darn Hot" - Kiss Me Kate | Ann Miller (HD Print)

Regardless of why summers are getting hotter and hotter … they are. Which is miserable for everyone. But, don’t sweat it, we’re rerunning this post as a reminder of what you can do to make the heat just a little more bearable – for you and others. Plus, Red loves the movie clip …


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I know everyone’s talking about the record-setting temperatures because everyone’s experiencing them, but I’m so tired of it being so damn hot out. Or, should I say “too darn hot,” in honor of one of my favorite all-time musicals, “Kiss Me, Kate”?


Black's HeadBlackassets.rebelmouse.io

You said it was worse when you lived in Hong Kong and Shanghai because there was little difference between day and evening temperatures and humidity. At least here, it cools off a little once the sun goes down.


red headred headassets.rebelmouse.io

But not enough. I know I’m getting older, so that doesn’t help, but the heat seems more oppressive, and I’m not only lethargic but cranky.
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