Words & Banter

Keeping A Ferrari Engine Secret?

Exotic Car Hacks Ferrari 30 Buyers Guide


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

I hope you know that I immediately thought of you when I read that Axios article you sent me about keeping financial secrets from your spouse.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

Why me? I sent it to you because the survey supports my position that people in serious relationships should exchange credit reports so that there are no surprises. Not to mention, they need to be open and honest about money.


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

Well, it reminded me of how you told me about lying to your husband when you blew your Ferrari engine. It was years ago, but I’ll never forget it. In fact, I still laugh and shake my head in amazement.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

You really do need to get a life.

red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io


Admit it, there aren’t too many people that have “replace Ferrari engine” as a line item on their credit card bill or monthly budget.

Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


Well, it was not a planned expenditure. Although when the engine blew on the racetrack, I was prepared in terms of knowing where to safely pull over and quickly exit the car.

red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io


Of course, you were. But, at what point did you decide to lie to your husband about the cost of the engine? I still don’t know how much that engine cost, but he could easily afford to replace it. He was already paying for you to race Ferraris. So, why did you choose to pay for half of it yourself?

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Trust me, even half was a big number. And, the 360 Ferrari Challenge had one of the best V-8 engines they ever made.

red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io


You’re avoiding the question.

Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


When we got married, he made sure to keep all our assets totally separate. He knew I had some money of my own, although nothing on the magnitude of his, so it was not like I was hiding money. My racing was already costing him so much, so I thought paying half was the least I could do.

red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io


But did you tell him that, or just lead him to believe that his “half” was the “full” amount?

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What difference does it make?

red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io


Is there a reason you didn’t want him to know you were trying to be considerate? Especially because when I went through my crisis, you always talked about the importance of having open and honest communication, especially about money.

Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


I still feel that way, but a conversation requires more than one person. Since I handled most of his money for him, including the interface with his wealth managers and tax accountants, he made it very clear there was nothing more to discuss. And, any time I tried to bring up the topic of money, he would cut me off and just say, “Everything’s great.”


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

Well, it was. At least financially.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

Yes, if you only look at the numbers. But, we had very different attitudes toward money, and that was something he would not discuss. Many people, regardless of financial status, are not comfortable talking about money.


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

I know my natural tendency is to avoid what I perceive as difficult conversations, which definitely includes money, but surely not everyone feels the way I do.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

Initially, did you avoid financial conversations because you felt intimidated and confused, or because you were trying to avoid conflict?


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

Back then, both. Now that I have a better understanding of money, it’s just an awkward topic. Especially since most people don’t talk, they argue, about it.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

Or, keep secrets or avoid the topic entirely. Which may seem “helpful” in the short term but are not long-term solutions.


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

Says the woman who ultimately got divorced. So, tell me, if you had to do it over again, would you have handled the situation with the Ferrari engine any differently?


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

Hindsight should be 20-20. Looking back, there were probably things I could have done to avoid blowing the engine.
Photo by OnTheRunPhoto for iStock


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

I keep getting emails about where to go for mocktails. I know alcohol-free cocktails, like Virgin Margaritas, have been around for a while, but I’d never heard that term before. Do you think it has to do with New Year’s resolutions?


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

It can if any of your resolutions are to lose weight, save money, sleep better. Or, drink less. Psychologically, January is the month when we “reset”, so a UK-based organization, Alcohol Change UK, started Dry January, where you abstain from drinking alcohol.


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

Perfect timing since many people shop, eat, and drink more than usual over the holidays.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

I know you used to drink a glass of Cold Duck on New Year’s Eve, a tradition going back to our childhood, but that hardly counts as drinking. But, I have always wondered why you rarely drink, but never asked.
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