| I hope you know that I immediately thought of you when I read that Axios article you sent me about keeping financial secrets from your spouse. |
| Why me? I sent it to you because the survey supports my position that people in serious relationships should exchange credit reports so that there are no surprises. Not to mention, they need to be open and honest about money. |
| Well, it reminded me of how you told me about lying to your husband when you blew your Ferrari engine. It was years ago, but I’ll never forget it. In fact, I still laugh and shake my head in amazement. |
red head
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Black
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| You really do need to get a life. |
| Admit it, there aren’t too many people that have “replace Ferrari engine” as a line item on their credit card bill or monthly budget. |
|
Well, it was not a planned expenditure. Although when the engine blew on the
racetrack, I was prepared in terms of knowing where to safely pull over and quickly
exit the car. |
| Of course, you were. But, at what point did you decide to lie to your husband about the cost of the engine? I still don’t know how much that engine cost, but he could easily afford to replace it. He was already paying for you to race Ferraris. So, why did you choose to pay for half of it yourself? |
| Trust me, even half was a big number. And, the 360 Ferrari Challenge had one of the best V-8 engines they ever made. |
| You’re avoiding the question. |
| When we got married, he made sure to keep all our assets totally separate. He knew I had some money of my own, although nothing on the magnitude of his, so it was not like I was hiding money. My racing was already costing him so much, so I thought paying half was the least I could do. |
| But did you tell him that, or just lead him to believe that his “half” was the “full” amount? |
| What difference does it make? |
| Is there a reason you didn’t want him to know you were trying to be considerate? Especially because when I went through my crisis, you always talked about the importance of having open and honest communication, especially about money. |
| I still feel that way, but a conversation requires more than one person. Since I handled most of his money for him, including the interface with his wealth managers and tax accountants, he made it very clear there was nothing more to discuss. And, any time I tried to bring up the topic of money, he would cut me off and just say, “Everything’s great.” |
| Well, it was. At least financially. |
| Yes, if you only look at the numbers. But, we had very different attitudes toward money, and that was something he would not discuss. Many people, regardless of financial status, are not comfortable talking about money. |
| I know my natural tendency is to avoid what I perceive as difficult conversations, which definitely includes money, but surely not everyone feels the way I do. |
| Initially, did you avoid financial conversations because you felt intimidated and confused, or because you were trying to avoid conflict? |
| Back then, both. Now that I have a better understanding of money, it’s just an awkward topic. Especially since most people don’t talk, they argue, about it. |
| Or, keep secrets or avoid the topic entirely. Which may seem “helpful” in the short term but are not long-term solutions. |
| Says the woman who ultimately got divorced. So, tell me, if you had to do it over again, would you have handled the situation with the Ferrari engine any differently? |
| Hindsight should be 20-20. Looking back, there were probably things I could have done to avoid blowing the engine. |
Warm and fuzzy? Yes, and proud of it, too. After graduating with a degree in Theater Arts, Tina Pennington (aka “Red”) met an Englishman, fell in love, and traveled the world. His career took them everywhere, with stints in the Netherlands, England, Hong Kong, and Shanghai, until they moved to Texas in the early 2000s.
With two red-headed children, Sawyer and Natasha, and one red labradoodle, Red had the picture-perfect suburban life. That was until … her husband got fired. What had seemed like a fairy tale life soon unraveled to reveal something far from it.
Years later, it ended up having a happy ending, as Red says, “It was the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Pragmatic and blunt? Yes, with more than a hint of sarcasm. Unlike her sister, Mandy Williams (aka “Black”) is all business. With an MBA in International Finance from NYU and London Business School, Black was a driven executive who retired from the male-dominated oil and gas industry before she was 40. Boredom quickly set in, so she began racing Porsches, then Ferraris, and became the first woman to race the road course at Indianapolis.
Living in Texas, Black has been involved with the local chapter of the Make-A-Wish Foundation for decades and has raised over $1 million.
Black often says, “You have two choices in life – you can be the passenger along for the ride, or the driver and steer where you want to go.”