Banter Bites

Hug At Your Own Risk

Did you ever notice that if you rearrange the letters in “hug” you get … “ugh”?

BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: We started to ask how can something as simple yet meaningful as a hug not get universal acceptance, but then realized that was a ridiculous question because Red thinks about hugs very differently than Black.

Besides the fact both of us describe Red as a warm and fuzzy mom, emphasis on the words “warm and fuzzy”, Red strongly believes that hugs are an integral part of who she is. To the point that Black, as well as Red’s kids, think Red should wear a warning label that a big ole’ mom hug could be coming your way.

And Red’s proud of it, and although hugging comes to her naturally, she believes you can learn to be a hugger. Her challenge was the opposite because when COVID struck, she had to learn how to not be a hugger. But she did laugh (and roll her eyes) at Black’s dilemma,

Before the pandemic, I tried to avoid hugging (you already know I find it selfish – in that it is usually the person who needs a hug who insists on hugging), so COVID was the perfect excuse not to hug people. Now when I avoid hugs, people think I am either a germophobe or overly cautious, neither of which is true. Good thing I do not care what people think.

Red decided not to point out to her sister that she knows Black will hug someone if she feels they need it, or at least let them hug her; however, the body language can be amusing. But it wasn’t until Red had children that she learned Black wasn’t an anomaly and that not everyone needs or wants a hug. Still, she questions how she could have given birth to two daughters, with neither having “inherited” the hugging gene.

The funny thing is Black’s willing to acknowledge that, for most people, hugs represent affection, concern, love, appreciation, or even just the joy of seeing someone. Of course, she had to add the science behind the importance of hugs, including how they can relieve stress, amongst other health benefits. And even mentioned a specific study she found fascinating.

So, given that science supports hugging, Red couldn’t understand why Black still resisted hugging, and when she worked up the nerve to ask, Black explained,

We all know what we should do but often ignore what is best for us. When it comes to hugging, I will sometimes compromise and do it for the other person, so I guess you could say my approach to hugs is … it is better to give than to receive.

Which made Red wonder if Black is the one who should come with a warning label.

hugs
Ask Red & Black

You asked us ... Do you follow March Madness?

So much of what we had to say about March Madness in our 2023 post still holds true … Red’s lack of interest and Black’s love of …


Red assets.rebelmouse.io


Until a few years ago, I would have thought March Madness had something to do with Spring Break. I’ve never followed sports (pro or college), but once my younger daughter started playing competitive high school volleyball, and then applied to colleges, I learned all about college sports and division teams.

This year, living in the Greater Houston area, I couldn’t help getting caught up in March Madness since the University of Houston was a No. 1 seed. (I hate to admit it, but it’s the same with the Houston Astros. I’m not interested until they make it to the playoffs.) But now that Houston has been eliminated, my only real interest in March Madness is avoiding Houston’s NRG Stadium since that’s where the Final Four playoffs will be held, and the traffic will be, well, madness!


Black assets.rebelmouse.io


I love March Madness. Not because I love the sport but because the statistics are fascinating. (Plus, it is a great name.) The odds of filling out a perfect bracket (correctly predicting all game winners once the March Madness teams are selected) are almost too small to calculate. Out of a record 20 million brackets submitted on ESPN this year, just 37 picked the men’s Final Four. That's 0.000185%.

And, this is the first time all four No. 1 seeds were eliminated during the Sweet Sixteen, not even making it to the Elite Eight, let alone the Final Four. Which improves the odds of this being a “Cinderella Story” year.


sports
Words & Banter

We Know ... Girls Can Do Anything!

Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

It’s Women’s History Month. Can you guess what Black has in common with Scarlett O’Hara (from “Gone With The Wind”) and the sitcoms “I Love Lucy” and “That Girl”? For the answer, check out one of our favorite posts …

What do the classic movie “Gone With The Wind,” the TV sitcom “That Girl,” and Lucille Ball have in common? At first glance, the answer is easy. They were hugely popular at the time but have stood the test of time as they continue to have fans decades later. Red, a theater major and movie buff, could explain all the “artistic” reasons why, but Black has (as always) a very different perspective.

It has to do with role models and how they can come from the most unexpected places – both real and fictional. Scarlett O’Hara, a heroine from the Civil War, was a fiercely independent woman (even by today’s standards), while Marlo Thomas portrayed “That Girl” as perhaps the first “modern woman”, one living on her own in a big city and pursuing a career vs. a family. But as Black points out to Red in “RED & BLACK … Girls Can Do Anything!,” it’s Lucille Ball that’s the ultimate badass (Black’s word, not Red’s), proving that you can be an amazing actress and comedian while simultaneously being a pioneer in the TV industry and a shrewd businesswoman.

And what better time than Women’s History Month to reflect on how women can inspire other women to do amazing things? After all, Black may not admit to being a role model, but she will admit that her racing a Ferrari has inspired countless girls over the years, and women of all ages are amused when she says, “How hard can it be? Boys do it.”

women's empowerment
THE BIG PICTURE

Intro headline for the big picture section


WHERE DO I START?

The last thing Red wanted to think about when she was in the midst of her crisis was her long-term goals and purpose. Her dreams had just been shattered, and the future was a dark and distant blur. She was barely getting through the day. She’d worry about tomorrow tomorrow. But once things started to settle down, she decided she was ready to think about tomorrow, and the days after that.

HERE’S ONE THING …

Red, like most of us, plans by starting with today. Black encouraged Red to try a different approach. Why not start with the end in mind? Start with what you want your life to look like, and work backward. Black’s Backward Planning Worksheet helps you think about where you want to be rather than where you are now – so you can plan how to get there.

THERE’S SO MUCH MORE!

Having direction in your life will change the way you look at things. It’s the difference between just driving around and driving with purpose. Knowing there’s more than one road to your destination lets you step back and ask yourself, “Am I making good decisions today that keep me pointed in the right direction?” If you aren’t, you make changes. Because life is a journey, not a destination, we created THE BIG PICTURE.