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Version 2 Not A Trick Question ... Can Charity Be Selfish?

Chapter 15: I Need A Warning System

It’s easy to forget that charity is a year-round event, not just for the holiday season or when natural disasters happen. Since today’s International Day of Charity – Red couldn’t help but remember when Black explained her long-time involvement with Make-A-Wish (see below) … and realizing that helping others might end up being one of the best things you can do. For others. For yourself.

Typically, when Red asked Black questions, she received questions in return. Or flippant comments. When Red asked her about charity, and specifically Make-A-Wish, she got straight answers, and that alone got Red’s attention. Before this conversation, Red thought her sister’s involvement with Make-A-Wish was very generous, both of her time and her money, but attributed much of it to the fact she had surpluses of both in her life. But once Black made her realize that her involvement went back to her corporate life, years when she might have had spare money but was working ridiculous hours, Red gained a new respect for Black’s commitment. But when Black said how it had become her “reality check” on life, Red began to understand that we all need something to help us remember what’s genuinely important.

P.S. – Charity and helping others remain an important part of our lives (and, much to the chagrin of our accountants and attorneys, drive much of our work in the education and criminal justice worlds). Black’s long-time commitment to Make-A-Wish set an example for Red’s daughters when they were growing up, and made them aware of how important it is to not only appreciate what you have but to think of others. And whether it’s an ongoing commitment to a single organization, helping various charities throughout the year, celebrating targeted donation days (such as #GivingTuesday or World Wish Day), or when specific natural disasters or humanitarian needs require immediate aid, charitable giving (whether money or time) – can make all the difference. Not only to the recipient, but as Black pointed out to Red all those years ago, for yourself.



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I’m curious about something, though. As children, we were never exposedto charity, so what got you involved with Make-A-Wish? Even Natasha has askedme about Make-A-Wish, because she has seen the kids’ artwork at your house andrecognizes the logo from seeing it on your race car.


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It was years ago. I was invited to play in a Make-A-Wish golftournament, and at the dinner some of the kids came out and told their Wishstories. They mentioned their illnesses and the doctors and the hospitals inpassing — as if it was just a minor detail in their stories. But when theytalked about their wishes, it was with such excitement and pure happiness thatit was overwhelming. A few weeks earlier, I had received a huge bonus at workand so I was feeling flush with cash, and when I saw the power of a wish — thehope, the joy, the strength it could provide — it made me look at money in atotally different way. When you meet children who are seriously ill and yourealize no amount of money can “fix the problem,” but yet something as simpleas wishing for a puppy or to meet a celebrity can make such a huge differencein their lives, then you are reminded of what is really important in life. Andwhat is not.

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Wow. I don’t think I have ever heard you thispassionate about anything.

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Probably not. Make-A-Wish has been an importantpart of my life for a long time. I know I am very fortunate in many respects,but sometimes I get wrapped up in day-to-day life and forget that. I may haveproblems with one of the cars, or I am annoyed with Larry, or it is just a badday, Make-A-Wish reminds me that my problems or frustrations are minuscule inthe scheme of things.

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Thisis a side of you that I rarely see. I’m impressed. And proud.

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Thanks,but Make-A-Wish does far more for me than I do for them. Partly as a substitutefor not having children of my own, but more importantly as my reality check onlife. It is my constant reminder of what is important. And although I may notbe able to cure the kids, the fact I can make their lives a little better byhelping grant wishes is the least — the very least — I can do in return.
Photo by OnTheRunPhoto for iStock

When we first ran the post below, Red had never heard of “Dry January” (or “Damp January"), so Black wasn't surprised that she hadn't heard of a new phenomenon (especially with younger people) called "Dry Dating" (aka "Sober Dating"). The idea is to go on dates and see if there's chemistry when both people are fully themselves — no “liquid courage” allowed. And January’s the perfect month to test-drive it ...



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I keep getting emails about where to go for mocktails. I know alcohol-free cocktails, like Virgin Margaritas, have been around for a while, but I’d never heard that term before. Do you think it has to do with New Year’s resolutions?


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It can if any of your resolutions are to loseweight, save money, sleep better. Or, drink less. Psychologically, January is the month when we “reset”, so a UK-based organization, Alcohol Change UK, started DryJanuary, where you abstain from drinking alcohol.


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Perfect timing since many people shop, eat, and drink more than usual over the holidays.


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I know you used to drink a glass of ColdDuck on New Year’s Eve, a tradition going back to our childhood, but that hardly counts as drinking. But, I have always wondered why you rarely drink, but never asked.
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They may not be the most meaningful holidays, but they may be some of the most fun, so we’re rerunning this post. Of course, Red thinks popcorn is nothing to be taken lightly, since it gives her such happiness. But even Black has favorites (scroll to the bottom). What would be yours?


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It’s January, and everyone’s probably tired of reading about New Year’s resolutions.

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Not me. Since I never make them, I never feel the need to read about them.

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Of course, you don’t. So, what should we write about?

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How about that we celebrate some of our favorite things in January?

So many “National Days” in January are fun (we’ve written about them over the years) and remind us of some of our favorite things. (Can you pick which are Red’s favorite holidays and which are Black’s?) And whether or not you make resolutions, it’s always important to have a sense of humor and enjoy the simpler things in life …

Answer: Red’s favorites are Bagels, Popcorn, and Hugging. Black’s are Clean Desk, Bagels, and Backward.

May 2026 be the year that everything clicks …