Words & Banter

The Sound (& Smell) Of Happiness

Photo taken by Red in her kitchen

I promise this isn't about how as a single mom, my days and evenings (including weekends) have always been busy. But lately, my evenings are as busy as my days, as that's when I try to "catch up" on Red & Black because my usual "juggling" act of work, mom, and daughter duties has become even more challenging. And if there's not enough to do as my younger daughter goes off to college in a few weeks, not to mention just wanting to enjoy every moment of our time together, there are the rapidly increasing demands because of our aging mom. The result? My daytime work hours have been seriously encroached upon, pushing things into the evening.

So, is this a piece about work-life balance? And how I feel like I'm constantly taking one step ahead but falling two (or three or four) steps behind? Or how all those articles about how one day you'll find yourself in the middle of caring for children while caring for parents will present not only time management challenges but mental health ones as you try to take care of everyone, including yourself … are suddenly about me?

Well, actually, no. As a former theater major, I was merely "setting the stage" …


I was recently in my workroom with my head buried in paper and emails when a sound interrupted me that I easily could've ignored as "white noise" (ok, Black would probably comment that I'm misusing the word as it has a technical definition and specific uses, but as any parent knows it's that background noise that you know you can disregard). But I chose not to as it was the sound of my daughter and fiancé baking in the kitchen, and I'm not sure who was having more fun – my 18-year-old or an almost 60-year-old grown man.

It started with the sound of lots of laughter followed by some (really bad) singing to everything from John Denver to Lady GaGa singing "Shallow" alongside Bradley Cooper. (It must be said that my daughter has a very eclectic playlist.) Then the next thing I know, I see fingers full of cookie dough coming my way, playfully threatening to get it on me. Wrapped up in the moment, I wasn't sure that would be a bad thing, and smiled when they left as it looked like really good cookie dough.

At this point, I turn to the TV (more "white noise"), apologize to Don Lemon, and turn it off because the sounds from the kitchen are some of the happiest I'd heard all day and far better than all the depressing news on TV. And then, as if it couldn't get any better, the sweet smell of a freshly baked cookie cake (because who can be bothered making individual cookies when you can just cut the time in half by baking a cake and cutting it into bars) drifts towards my workroom.

It's the most relaxed and happy I've felt all day, and I fire off those sentiments to Black, thinking that I'm being very clever by ending my email not with a warm and fuzzy comment, but something that I thought Black would appreciate,

And who would've thought that happiness could be "bought" for the price of some flour, sugar, chocolate chip cookies, and vanilla extract?

Of course, her reply comes within minutes (unlike me, Black's work-life balance seems, to me, to be more of a work-work balance as she'll acknowledge she has no life) and, of course, has a business angle (at least she didn't tell me to calculate a cost per bite). Black explained the successes of the Pillsbury advertising campaign from the 1950s and 1960s (check out this TV commercial from 1962), including the introduction of the beloved Pillsbury doughboy, ending her email with what's one of the most iconic advertising slogans of all time, and one she thinks Pillsbury should re-introduce,

Nothin' says lovin' like something from the oven.
Photo by michaelmjc on iStock

Is it a way to meet people, share memories, or help the environment? Or is it about bargain hunting? As we've talked about before, garage sales can be about so much more than just getting rid of things you no longer want



Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

Thanks for the accounting of your garage sale. But, given how many hours you spent preparing for it, and then the actual sale itself, did you calculate how much you “earned” on a $/hour basis?


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

No, all I know is that it seemed to take forever to go through everything in Mom’s house and decide what to keep, what to sell, what to donate. And what to trash. As far as the garage sale, I’ll give you your half the next time I see you.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

Keep my half. You did all the work. I did not even offer to help.


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

And that was a big help. Thank you.
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Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Remember summer reruns on TV? Well, this month’s column is a first … it’s a “rerun” of our July 2020 column, except we added the word “CRITICAL” in the title. Because, four years later, we feel it’s very sad (and scary) that our sentiments about our country’s leaders having the strength, courage, and conviction to be independent thinkers are still relevant (maybe even more than before). So, the Fourth of July may be behind us, but Election Day will be here before you know it.



Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io



I keep forgetting to ask you, since Sawyer is away at camp, what did you do for July 4th?



Red's HeadRed assets.rebelmouse.io




Well, it was a very different Fourth of July. No kids. No barbeque. No fireworks.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io



I know most of the fireworks were cancelled, but is your barbeque grill broken?


Red's HeadRed assets.rebelmouse.io




No, this year I decided to declare my "independence" from doing a big holiday grocery shop, major prep work, and cooking outdoors in Texas heat.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io



I wish there were more people willing to declare their independence.



Red's HeadRed assets.rebelmouse.io





Somehow I don't think you're talking about me making an easy pasta dish in the comfort of my air-conditioned house vs. standing over a hot barbeque on a hot day.
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Photo by Nednappa for iStock

How you celebrate July 4th may change from year to year (Red will still enjoy a quiet holiday, but this year will be reading as it may take all summer to get through “War and Peace”), but what should never change is remembering WHY (one of Black’s favorite words) we celebrate as well as the sacrifices made to live in a free country …



Red's HeadRed assets.rebelmouse.io

This is going to be a very unusual July 4 th for me, with neither girl being home. Natasha always hated the fireworks, but Sawyer would insist we do all the traditional things – barbequing, lots of watermelon, and then watching the fireworks in the Texas heat and humidity. So, this year, I plan to make it a really “cool” holiday … staying in the air-conditioned house, watching a movie or one of my TV series, and celebrating my day of independence from any “mom” responsibilities with a big bucket of freshly popped popcorn!


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

Well, everyone celebrates differently. But, when I think of Independence Day, I think about the challenges our Founding Fathers faced when they drafted the Declaration of Independence , especially as they did not always agree on issues. Challenges our nation continues to face (it is a holiday, so I will not get into the increasingly divisive aspects of politics). And, I cannot help but wonder how many people realize the extent of the sacrifices made by those who signed it in exchange for our country’s freedom. Which is why, as we celebrate July 4th, we need to remember,
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.