Now that I understand it better, I have to admit my initial thoughts may have been an over-reaction. | |
That often happens. Especially with you. But, what is the topic? | |
Oh, sorry! Remember when you forwarded me the email from that woman who had read about our detour into the world of Criminal Justice on our website, and she said, "I just wanted to encourage you to consider changing the language a bit." At first, I rolled my eyes, but then I got annoyed. |
I remember the email but have no idea why you would get annoyed. It was not a random email from nowhere. She and I are both members of the Texas Women's Justice Coalition, although she is much more active as, for me, it is a learning experience. Plus, since she had been incarcerated, she has a very different perspective than I do. | |
I wasn't questioning her credibility; I was annoyed because we've gone above and beyond to make it clear that we have open minds in terms of the criminal justice population – male and female. In fact, thanks to you, I went from a "lock 'em up and throw away the key" mentality to seeing them not as bad people, but people who have made bad choices. | |
OK, but now I'm really confused as to why you were annoyed. It is not like you are only willing to help people on "the outside" but not when they are "inside". | |
No, that's not what I'm saying. It's that initially, I thought to myself, gee, we've done all this – and for free – and it's some of the most rewarding work we've done, yet we're being criticized for using the word "offender"?! Seriously? One word! | |
Yes, but she followed up by explaining how when we referred to them as "offenders" before seeing them as "people", it was contextually appropriate. However, by continuing to use the word "offender" it "perpetuates the dehumanization of the people in the minds of your readers." | |
But one word?! I felt like she was ignoring everything else we said and being overly sensitive to one word! | |
Sounds like you are the one being overly sensitive. Regardless, that one word has connotations, and conjures up images and stereotypes and misconceptions. It defines the person by their crimes and punishments, ignoring everything else. Words are powerful, so should always be used carefully, especially in criminal justice situations, where there is already such strong bias by both the media and society. | |
I understand that. Now. The fact you thought it important enough to change the language on our website so quickly helped. Plus, the Marshall Project article you forwarded helped me understand that just because your intentions may be good, your choice of words can be damaging. | |
I never realized that the word "offender" could be offensive (sorry, could not resist), as are other words such as "inmate" or "prisoner." But if changing it to "person who is incarcerated" can help change mindsets and attitudes, it seems an easy thing to do. | |
Well, it worked on me … once I got past my assumptions and over-reaction. | |
Sometimes change happens one person at a time … |
| I know you don’t celebrate holidays, so I’m not going to ask you if you have any plans for Valentine’s Day, but you do know that February’s American Heart Month, right? |
| Of course. Which means the American Heart Association’s “ Go Red” campaign is in full force. And, they are not talking about you. It is because heart disease is the leading cause of death – for both men and women. |
| Don’t you find it ironic that Valentine’s Day – a “fun” holiday about letting people you love and care about know that you’re thinking of them … a holiday filled with Hallmark cards, squishy teddy bears, chocolate hearts – falls in the middle of such a “serious” month-long awareness campaign? |
| Is it ironic or pragmatic? If you want to make sure you are around for the people you care about, you should think about being heart-healthy. Especially eating well and exercising. |
| I do, and the irony is I always knew what to do. It’s only been in the last year or so that I’ve finally found the motivation to keep it going for more than a few days. Somehow, it went from forcing myself to do it to a habit, and then, because I felt so much better, I became “addicted” to it. |
| In other words, it went from you needing to do it to wanting to do it. |
| Is that why, when it comes to eating well and exercising, nothing ever seems to deter you? |
| Feeling better, yes. But, more because every morning, I walk into a large closet filled with size 2 clothing. |
| That's funny. |
| No, it is factual. I have been a clothes horse for decades, so have a significant investment hanging in my closet. And, since almost everything is timeless and classic, I would be extremely annoyed if it no longer fit. |
| Well, even if that’s something us “mere mortals” can’t relate to, at least it keeps you motivated. I never had anything like that in my life. |
| Really? I can name two things. |
| I’m not sure Natasha and Sawyer would want to be referred to as “things,” but I see your point. The funny thing is Sawyer is the one who got me started going to the gym and working out. |
|
I tried for years, but am glad she had more luck.
|
| I feel I did a better job staying fit when they were younger and truly needed me every day. Then again, maybe that was just because I always had to do a lot of running around. And I focused on healthy eating for all of us. |
| Sounds like excuses. Just because they no longer need you as cook and chauffeur, does not mean they do not need your life experience and unconditional love. Especially as they face the challenges of adulthood. |
| Are you trying to make me feel guilty or sad because I didn’t always focus on taking care of myself for them? |
| Neither. Merely pointing out we can always find reasons for not doing what we know we should do. Whether for ourselves or for the ones we love. Or both. |
| It’s ironic; I always thought doing things for myself was selfish, but I now understand that if I don’t take care of myself first, I won’t be able to help others. |
| Exactly, and it does not matter if you use your heart or your brain to get to the right answer, does it? |
Until two years ago, Red had never heard of “Dry January” (see our conversation below). But whether or not you’ve taken the challenge, it’s never too late to develop healthy habits. And, FYI, there’s also “Damp January.”
|
I keep
getting emails about where to go for
mocktails. I know alcohol-free cocktails, like Virgin
Margaritas, have been around for a while, but I’d never heard that term before. Do you think it has to do with
New Year’s resolutions? |
| It can if any of your resolutions are to lose weight, save money, sleep better. Or, drink less. Psychologically, January is the month when we “reset”, so a UK-based organization, Alcohol Change UK , started Dry January , where you abstain from drinking alcohol. |
| Perfect timing since many people shop, eat, and drink more than usual over the holidays. |
| I know you used to drink a glass of Cold Duck on New Year’s Eve, a tradition going back to our childhood, but that hardly counts as drinking. But, I have always wondered why you rarely drink, but never asked. |
| That may be the only thing you haven’t asked me. It isn’t for any moral or health reasons; it’s because, even many decades later, I still have vivid memories of overdoing it at a fraternity dance at college. Although lately, I’ve been drinking more than normal. |
| For you, that means more than one drink … a year. |
| Very funny, but pretty much true. However, after visiting Tennessee Hills Distillery in the fall, I did develop a taste for their flavored rum. So, between the ones I brought home and the bottles of Moscato that Natasha had delivered to me by Drizly as a surprise holiday gift, I’ve had more to drink this holiday season than ever before. |
| Well, I drank more this year, too. But, that is because, during COVID, I went over a year without a drink. For years, I used to go out to dinner several times a week and would always have a drink or two, but now do not go out as often. Combine that with a lack of dating, and my alcohol consumption is almost non-existent. |
| But your condo has a pantry that you converted into a beautiful bar with all those liquor bottles on display. And you’ve collected wine for years. |
| Yes, it looks enticing, but I do not drink alone. Never have. But, if I did, I would probably need to hide the liquor, or put yellow “caution tape” in front of the bar during Dry January. |
| That’s funny, but do you really think that people can go cold turkey for an entire month? That seems like a long time if you’re used to drinking on a regular basis. |
|
Yes. Besides
the fact many
bars
are taking advantage
of Dry January to offer customers something
new and different
versus just alcohol-free versions of traditional
cocktails, the demand for nonalcoholic beverages continues to increase as more people
prioritize healthier lifestyles. Not to
mention, many people now feel less social pressure to drink.
|
| Please don’t start quoting statistics and studies! But don’t you think, come February, everyone will just go back to their “normal” habits? |
| Since you do not want me to mention any of the science, or the fact people are already drinking less , I will come at it another way. If once you start Dry January, you experience the health benefits, including more energy, why would you go back to your old habits? |
| Because it’s a habit? Sorry, I couldn’t resist. But good points, especially as we all know drinking can lead to health problems . Not to mention the risks of driving under the influence of alcohol. But I’d think there’s still some peer pressure to drink socially. |
| As more people are trying Dry January, or at least are aware of it, the more acceptable it becomes. And, the easier it is to find others to support you. Although sometimes you may need to avoid those people who do not. |
| Well, I’ve seen you drink this month. And you can’t blame it on me! What’s your excuse? |
| Dry January is not about having a perfect score. It is about reevaluating your relationship with alcohol. And, taking a night off does not mean the end of the effort. It just means it may be a Damp January. |
| It’s January, and everyone’s probably tired of reading about New Year’s resolutions. |
| Not me. Since I never make them, I never feel the need to read about them. |
| Of course, you don’t. So, what should we write about? |
| How about that we celebrate some of our favorite things in January? |
So many “National Days” in January are fun (we’ve written about them over the years) and remind us of some of our favorite things. (Can you pick which are Red’s favorite holidays and which are Black’s?) And whether or not you make resolutions, it’s always important to have a sense of humor and enjoy the simpler things in life …
- NATIONAL CLEAN YOUR DESK DAY: Resolutions Aside … A Clean Desk? Is That Even Possible???
- NATIONAL BAGEL DAY: Not A Trick Question ... Who Doesn’t Love Bagels?
- NATIONAL POPCORN DAY: Do People Really “Celebrate” Popcorn? Red Does!
- NATIONAL HUGGING DAY: Think Before … Hugging?!
- NATIONAL BACKWARD DAY: Celebrating Having Fun … And Success … By Being Backward?
Answer: Red’s favorites are Bagels, Popcorn, and Hugging. Black’s are Clean Desk, Bagels, and Backward.