The story of how we "ended up in prison" is one we're often asked to tell, and we think this column (first published in February 2013) does a good job of doing that …
|Coming up with this month's topic and title was easy. Figuring out how to explain it may be a little more complicated.|
|No kidding. Every time we meet with Chaplain Watkins and she tells us about the men she works with and how they've reacted to our book, I'm left speechless.|
|That, in itself, is fairly amazing.|
Cute. But if anyone had told us when we wrote our book that it would end up in a men's prison and that offenders would not only be reading the book, but enjoying it, learning from it, and sharing the lessons in it with their families, I'd have said they were crazy.
|I believe that is what you called me when I told you that we were going to be speakers at the National Prisoner's Family Conference last February.|
|No. I thought you were kidding. Remember, YOUR business plan was that the book would be the basis of a sitcom. Not a Texas-approved textbook.|
|That might not have been our plan but, as you know, life rarely goes according to plan.|
There's an understatement. But at the time, I thought it was just another one of your "outside the box" ideas. Way outside the box. However, once we spoke at the conference, and started learning more about the prison world, I realized there was a huge need for this information.
|You are conveniently forgetting that initially you were fairly negative about it.|
|Yes, I was. My attitude was that prisoners had done something wrong, so they deserved to be in prison. I had no desire to help them. My heart was with the students, and trying to get our book and its "real life" lessons into the schools.|
|I understand. I would venture to guess that most people feel that way. On the surface, it seems logical.|
|Of course, you saw it differently.|
|Maybe more pragmatically. And then I started doing research. What really got my attention was the Children's Defense Fund's, "Cradle To Prison Pipeline" report. It explains all the contributing factors that feed that pipeline. And how education is a critical key to changing the trajectory of these lives.|
|What got my attention was the concept that you can calculate how many prison beds will be needed in the future based on children who can't read on grade level by the fourth grade.|
|It makes perfect sense … once you stop and think about it.|
|But it's not something you would typically think about. But then again, you rarely do the typical thing. Like the time you asked me what I was doing on a Friday night, and I thought you wanted to go to a movie. It never dawned on me that you were inviting me to "go to prison" with you and the founder of Wings Ministry.|
|And you found every excuse in the book not to go.|
|I'm a single mom. Heading off to a prison is not something I'd feel safe doing. And I wondered about your logic, but didn't want to ask.|
|There is only one way to get first-hand knowledge. I wanted to see what I had only read about. However, I was not prepared for what I discovered.|
|I remember you telling me that it was like a scene out of the old "Get Smart" TV series, with the long corridor and the locking doors.|
|Architecturally, it was built in 1908 and is beautiful. Although initially intimidating, once I met some of the men it became very "human." They were truly appreciative of my being there, as so many of them feel the outside world has forgotten them. And once the chaplain heard about our book she was anxious to read it.|
|What I still find hard to believe was that she mentioned that Stringfellow Unit is the only prison in Texas that has a kosher kitchen! I remember telling you that in this instance, G-d was not being subtle. There was clearly a reason that this was the first prison you ever visited.|
I believe the word is beschert.
|Well, a lot has happened since then. Chaplain Watkins not only had our book/program "approved," but also completed two pilot book clubs with 50+ men, and has already started a third. Even Sawyer, who is only 10, was surprised by the feedback from the men who have completed the program. Her exact quote was, "Wow!"|
|What I find fascinating is how many of these men are connecting the dots between how not understanding personal finance causes stress, and then realizing how it can lead to drugs and/or alcohol. And how "all of the above" contributes to bad decisions.|
|Obviously, they're finding the "life lessons" I learned as a 40+ year-old to be extremely important as they're saying they want to share the book with their families. I'm moved by their statements that they want their wives, their children, to learn what they're learning.|
|Well, according to Chaplain Watkins, their actions are matching their words. They are writing home about it, and a few even said they were going to send the book home.|
|I know. But my favorite story is the man who now turns off the water when he brushes his teeth. It sounds like such a small thing, but it says so much once you learn that he's doing it to because he recognizes he'll be living with someone when he gets out and doesn't want to waste their money. He wants to start today to make it a good habit for the future.|
|It is all about taking control of your life, versus letting your life control you. It is what I told you when Nick got fired. And it is what we tell students.|
|But in this case, I can't help but wonder how many lives are being touched – not only the offenders, but their families, their friends, their communities. Not to mention, what if some of the men who have read our book now start making better decisions. And once released, don't return to prison.|
Exactly. Just imagine the money that would save taxpayers. The cost of Texas state prisons is about $22,000 per person per year, which works out to $60 a day. Our book costs less than half a day in prison. So if it has the potential to actually make a difference in their lives and their future decisions, it seems like a small investment … with huge upside potential. To me, it is a no-brainer.
I was thinking more about the family environment, but your numbers make perfect sense. Unfortunately, just because something makes sense, doesn't mean it's going to happen. Just take a look at the education system. And what we've been trying to do for over three years now with limited success.
|I know. It is extremely frustrating. But one day it will be ironic.|
|What do you mean?|
|Besides the fact it is much cheaper to educate than incarcerate (average cost for a year of public education in Texas is about $8,700 per student compared to the $22,000 cited above; nationally, the numbers are around $11,000 and $31,000, respectively), one day I expect to ask the question, "Why is it that these critical life lessons are being taught in prisons, but not in our schools?"|
|Well, that should get Austin's attention.|
|Austin? I was thinking Washington, D.C. And, it needs to do more than that. It needs to get everyone's attention. Especially voters.|
If there were an Olympic medal for love and inspiration, Tank Schottle would hold the record for most gold medals.
BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: In this crazy world that we live in, sometimes simple, positive messages can easily get lost in all the "noise" … but they're there, and sometimes even the most pragmatic people (that'd be Black) feel the need to share them (much to Red's surprise).
It began when Black sent Red a screenshot of a Red & Black tweet that "we" posted (no one should be surprised that Black does the tweeting), "Guess who is throwing out the first pitch at tonight's @astros game … so excited for @TankSchottle because Special Olympian spreads message of love". At first, Red thought it was because Black knew Red's younger daughter had helped coach a Special Olympics volleyball team (the Fort Bend Falcons) but soon learned that Black's interest in Tank had nothing to do with that.
It turns out that for one of the least likely "warm and fuzzy" people you'll ever meet, Black was nevertheless inspired by Tank's "warm and fuzzy" attitude and approach to, well, just about everything. Suffering from an intellectual disability (or DIFF-ability as Black would say, but that's another post for another day), Tank came into his own when he was introduced to Special Olympics as a child, which led to his not only developing a greater sense of self-acceptance and pride but spreading his message of love based on his experience,
I love to spread love and hope for our country and our world. We should all love one another and bring hope and inspiration to other people.
Not someone you'd expect Black to follow, so Red asked, "Why?" (knowing that's Black's favorite word) and wasn't surprised how it started,
Some twit on Twitter decided to take issue with the punctuation or grammar of one of Tank's tweets, and I happened to follow one of the people who vehemently came to his defense, which got my initial attention. Now, I am one of the thousands of Tank's Twitter followers who finds the simplicity and sincerity of Tank's positive messages not only worth reading, but worth sharing.
Well, the more Red learned about Tank, the more she was struck at how one person can make such a difference. And there even was an instance when Tank could accomplish something no one else could with a 97-year-old veteran. And although Red initially found his words overly simple, as she watched her daughter (the one who volunteered with Special Olympics) get ready for college, she found herself echoing Tank's words (from a video that went viral several years ago),
Never give up on your dreams. Do what makes you happy. Do what makes you smile.
There's no telling what may have led up to this banter between Red and Black, but it's safe to say that Black has ALWAYS felt this way. Which is probably why from an early age she always wanted to be "That Girl"!
Curious about the "Back Story" to our animation teasers? Red's daughter, Sawyer, told us we needed to do some very short animated "teasers" … so Black said, "Great. You want to work in video production. Take the final working versions of our animation and start creating them!" So, she did!
P.S. – For those of you who've met us or seen us at speaking engagements, we'd love to know if you think the animators have accurately captured us! (You can email us at Banter@RedandBlackBooks.com.)
FULL QUESTION: Why are some people talking trash about Olympic gymnast Simone Biles withdrawing from Olympic events?
Honestly, I didn't even know they were. At first, I think we were all in shock when Simone
complete the vault as planned
, but almost immediately, there was an incredible
outpouring of support. And not only from
former Olympians, like
Michael Phelps who has long spoken of his mental health challenges, but from a wide range of people,
including mental health experts, newscasters, celebrities, and even politicians.
I'll admit that initially I questioned her decision because she had competed in previous Olympics, so I assumed she was used to the pressure. But then, the more I read, the more I learned, and the more impressed I became. Because she makes it look so easy, it's easy to forget that you can seriously injure yourself if your head isn't in the game. Finally, when I read what she said at the press conference, I came to see how her decision was the right one, not just for herself but as an example to all of us.
I am aware of some of the despicable things being said, and
although people have the right to their opinion, I refuse to give them "airtime"
by mentioning them by name. These media "personalities"
(I do not consider them journalists or even commentators) seem to say what they
do solely to stir things up, and get ratings and coverage. Whether they actually believe these things or not, who knows? Unfortunately, many of them have large (and
loyal) followings who are easily (mindlessly?) persuaded.
They are quick to criticize someone who has accomplished so much more with their life than they ever will, but maybe not in the obvious way … Simone Biles may be the GOAT in gymnastics, but her greatest accomplishment may be in shining an extremely bright light, seen worldwide, on the importance of mental health.