| I love how this year Good Friday and the first night of Passover fall on the same day, meaning Easter Sunday also overlaps with Passover! It’s like the rare times when Christmas and Chanukah are celebrated at the same time. |
| What makes this year even more unusual is Easter and Passover fall during the Muslim holy month of Ramadan. |
| What are the odds of that? And that’s a rhetorical question. Please don’t start sending me statistics. |
| The numbers are not important. But, it is a much-needed reminder that, although different religions celebrate different holidays, we are similar because we all place importance on faith and tradition. |
| Says the woman who’s not a fan of holidays and wants to get them over with as soon as possible, sometimes even ignoring them. |
| It is not holidays that I dislike … it is how their significance has gotten lost by all the insincere celebrations. And, the commercialism. |
| Well, short of selling matzo, gefilte fish, and Passover honey cake, I’m not sure how you commercialize Passover. |
| But, do you understand the meaning behind the foods and the traditions? That is what is getting lost. And although Jewish, I have always tried to understand and reconcile many Christian holidays with my own beliefs. |
| To use one of your favorite words … why? |
| Why try to better understand other people’s beliefs to further my own knowledge? Why try to find connections to remind me that we may have more in common than differences? Or, why take the time to respect and appreciate other holidays and traditions? |
| I’m sorry I even asked. |
| So, why did you take that Comparative Religions class at Wake Forest? Which, I might add, you have told me countless times was one of your favorite classes. |
| Because it was required. And while I thought it would be interesting, I never expected it to be fascinating. It really opened my eyes as it made me realize that although the major religions of the world have many differences, they also have so much in common. |
| Exactly. So, what do you remember about Easter? |
| How when Natasha and Sawyer were young, they loved Easter, with its bunnies and candy. Between making and decorating colored eggs, buying those overly sweet marshmallow Peeps in seemingly every color under the sun, and you taking us all out for the Omni Hotel’s amazing Easter Sunday buffet brunch, it was always a favorite holiday. |
|
I was talking about your religion class. I know Lent starts on
Ash Wednesday and lasts 40 days in preparation for celebrating the resurrection
of Jesus on Easter Sunday. |
| You’re Jewish; what else is there for you to know? |
| I am trying to find common ground since Jews do not believe in many of the “facts” of Christianity that are a fundamental part of Easter. But I do think, to some extent, that I have the meaning of Easter figured out. |
| Don’t take this the wrong way, but for the millions of people that celebrate Easter, I think they figured it out a long time ago. |
| I meant for me personally. Easter makes me truly appreciate my friends, as it reminds me that people are not all alike, and that some things have no common ground to be found. But, it does not mean that there cannot be love and respect. |
| I’m confused. Aren’t you the one that’s always saying how, if people realized that we have more in common, the world would be a better place? That when we focus on our differences, we tend to divide things, and people, into “right” and “wrong” and end up with “us” and “them”. Which nowadays seems to be getting worse, not better. |
| Finding similarities is very different from being identical. And, that is the significance of Easter for me. Because religion is about reflection and faith, it is a reminder that different is different – not good or bad – just different. |
| So, I’m almost afraid to ask. When you were growing up, before you looked for “meaning” in holidays, did you ever see any “connection” between Easter and Passover? |
| Do you remember Mom making egg salad from all those leftover Easter eggs? |
| I hate when you answer a question with a question. |
| Just answer the question. |
| Yes, of course. She was never going to waste all those hard-boiled eggs. |
| Well, I remember her putting that Easter egg salad on leftover matzo. Does that count as a “connection”? |
Want to read other columns? Here's a list.
May is Asian American Pacific Island Month (which prompted our conversation below about Jews and Chinese food), but we should treat all our fellow Americans with respect and kindness every day.
Have you ever wondered why Jews love Chinese food so much? | |
No, but what prompted that? Did you take in Chinese food this weekend? Or, did President Biden signing the anti-Asian hate crimes bill make you think about how Jews can relate given all the antisemitism in the world? | |
Only you would connect those dots. I was straightening up papers in the kitchen and noticed how Chinese takeout menus look the same as they did when we were kids, and how we've laughed over the decades about how much Jews love Chinese food. But now you've reminded me about how we've recently talked about the recent increase in hate crimes against the Asian community . I simply don't understand how people can hate an entire group of people based on race or religion. | |
You are the history lover. It is not a new phenomenon. And, the reasons have not changed – Ignorance, prejudice, feelings of supremacy; the list has many "reasons". What I find scary is that people form stronger bonds with others based on what they hate than they do on what they love. But, there is no question that the Asian community and Jews have experienced hate for a long time. | |
I know, but in America of all places, that just shouldn't happen. Ever. We're a country built on immigrants, and the contributions of Asian Americans and American Jews have been so significant. From scientists to doctors, artists to activists, the list goes on and on. | |
The lists of contributions can be sliced and diced in so many different ways – gender, race, religion, nationalities. There are not enough months in the years to celebrate them all. However, some groups tend to be forgotten or overlooked, which is why President Carter signed the first proclamation celebrating Asian/Pacific Americans , which eventually led to May becoming Asian American and Pacific Islander (AAPI) Heritage Month. But now, with hate crimes increasing against them, celebrating by learning about their cultures is even more critical. | |
Well, I admit that I personally didn't know any Asians before I lived in Hong Kong, and then Shanghai, several years after getting married. Until then, all I knew was that I loved Chinese food. I know that might sound condescending, but that's not how I mean it. |
No, it sounds like you just did not have any personal experience except for enjoying the food. And, except for dating Raman Sehgal, who was from India, when I was a graduate student at NYU, my experience before moving to Houston was basically the same as yours. | |
Sorry, but I can't keep track of everyone you've dated. Anyway, I learned so much about the people and their culture when living in Asia. It made me realize just what a young country America is and how many countries have so many more centuries of history than we do. And there I was the outsider, and although I might have been seen to be different, I was never disrespected in the way Asians are treated here. | |
A redhead in Asia. I bet you stood out like a sore thumb. Which is the problem they face here. Identifying Jews is a little more challenging, but that does not stop antisemitism. There was a very interesting article that interviewed Asian American Jewish leaders , asking them to share their experiences. | |
I never thought about being Asian and Jewish! But that explains the Chinese Kosher restaurant in Queens I used to go to when I was a teenager. I couldn't figure out why there was such a thing, but the food was so delicious I never gave it any more thought. Until now, when I realize Asian Jews must have run it. | |
I appreciate that food, and people, get "Americanized" over here, but what did you think about authentic Chinese food? | |
It's very different from American Chinese food, but both are delicious! They each have their own unique characteristics and flavors, and although very different, I appreciate them both, and there will always be a place for each in my culinary world! | |
Just as there should be a place for "different" people … |
Don’t Expect A Compliment From A Sarcastic Sister. An Important Message About … Sunscreen?!
I’ve always been a proud redhead, even though I used to wish that I could tan like those glamorous models in fashion magazines. Or maybe I just got tired of Black’s sarcastic comments about my white skin. Except for the one time when we played a rare round of golf together (see below), which ended up becoming one of my favorite memories! Although I do wish I had known back then about how important it is to protect our skin from the sun … So, now I invite everyone (regardless of hair color) to join us in not only observing Skin Cancer Awareness Month but also celebrating National Sunscreen Day.
I'll never forget the day. It was an "almost" ordinary day out on the golf course with my mom and dad during the heat of a Long Island summer. Now, if "Long Island" conjures up images of stately manors on the North Shore (think "Great Gatsby") or beachfront mansions in the Hamptons (think Robin Leach and his popular show "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous"), you can put those out of your head. I'm not talking about some fancy country club golf course, just a regular public course.
I loved the game ever since I learned to play as a teenager, and although I never got to play while at college (Wake Forest, which was renowned for its golf program, with its most famous alumni being Arnold Palmer), I'd try to get out as often as possible when I was home. I wasn't a phenomenal player but had a decent game and natural talent. And most of the time, I hit it pretty straight, so one of the things I enjoyed was walking down the middle of the fairway, pulling my clubs along (no fancy golf carts on this course), appreciating the day and the sport.
On one (very rare) occasion, my sister came back to New York to visit, as she moved out of state as soon as she graduated from business school. She also played golf, but unlike me, who relied on natural ability and played for fun, she worked extremely hard at her game, was overly competitive, and played "business golf". The result was that she was a far better player than me, although I was holding my own on that day.
As Black often says, the scorecard contains only numbers, no editorial. And it would ultimately show that she'd beat me, but as we were each walking up one of the last holes toward our respective balls, in the heat of a late summer afternoon, with the sun at our backs, I was secretly hoping that she'd be proud of me. So, after I hit my fairway shot onto the green, I heard her call out to me, and my hopes were high,
Hey, Red! I was watching you hit that shot, and well, I have been watching you all afternoon, and I have to say … you have the whitest legs I have ever seen, or are you wearing white pantyhose?
I wasn't sure whether to laugh, cry, or be angry. Or to just roll my eyes as it really was something only my sister would say. And to this day, I'm not even sure if she had even noticed how close I came to beating her and how well I played – "upping" my game driven by her much better game.
But I also know that I can never look down at my very pale legs without laughing just a little at how a lifetime ago (or so it seems), she was so right. Recently, when she treated me to my first pair of Birkenstocks, I stood in the store trying them on, and before she had a chance to say it I told her … Yes, I do look like I have on white hose.
P. S. – I feel it only fair (pun intended) to have a P.S. for a P.S.A. – Long ago, the harm of the summer sun wasn't as well known, but in the years since, we've learned how important sunblock is. Year-round. So, whether you're a redhead who never tans (I used to cycle between being extremely pale and burning red and back again) or someone who does tan, take care of your skin!
Mother’s Day is a celebration of moms – those with us and those in our hearts and memories. And that’s why we’re repeating last year’s post (that, and because Black was borderline warm and fuzzy) …
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I appreciate that bullet points may not be the typical
approach to Mother’s Day, but it seems appropriate to me …
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| This year I write about Mother’s Day with a heavy heart and still much raw emotion, as our mom passed in December. My pragmatic side (yes, that’s usually Black’s area although she did sound somewhat warm and fuzzy above) knows that she had been 94 and led a full life, but that really doesn’t make it any less sad or fill the emptiness. But I find myself, when I least expect it and triggered by the most unexpected things, finding comfort in wonderful memories. And although Black’s first bullet point hits too close to home for me, I’ll try my best to focus on the other bullets. |