| Well, the Oprah interview with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle was over a month ago, but I still see plenty of articles about it. It's really "stirred up" things in the Royal Family. |
| Well, I guess it put "a bee in the royal bonnet." Although, I would not believe everything you read. Right after the interview, I read several articles suggesting the monarchy should end with Queen Elizabeth. I cannot imagine that happening. |
| Oh, that isn't anything new. It's been going on for a long time; there was even talk of it when I lived in England decades ago. All the interview did was further encourage those who are already advocating it. |
| At the risk of sounding like a broken record, but as I said in our Banter Bite, Talk About Getting The Royal Treatment, the Royal Family does seem to have "issues" in terms of race relations and dealing with mental illness. I can understand why people are questioning whether the monarchy, with its "old-fashioned" traditions and beliefs, is still relevant. |
| But it's not like that's the only place those issues exist. Just pick up a newspaper, turn on the news – it's everywhere! Unfortunately, the Oprah interview put a very public face on it – The Royal Family, or The Firm, which is how the family and institution refers to itself. |
| Who nicknames themselves The Firm? It sounds like a Netflix series, but with less class than " The Crown." |
| It always reminds me of one of my favorite Tom Cruise movies, "The Firm," based on the John Grisham novel. Anyway, I admit I love Tudor history, but I'm certainly no expert on the history of the British monarchy or Royal Family. But nicknames aside, I do think they serve an important purpose. |
| Especially in terms of money. It is big business, which may explain the nickname. According to a recent Forbes article, the amount of money they bring in (primarily due to tourism) is estimated to contribute $2.7 billion a year to the U.K. economy (pre-pandemic). That makes the $550 million cost of running The Firm a smart investment. |
| Wow! Those are some pretty big numbers. And leave it to you to have a financial perspective, but that wasn't what I was thinking about. I was thinking that during the 20 th Century, the Royal Family played an invaluable role in getting a nation to pull together, and stay together, as they fought not one, but two, World Wars. |
| I defer to you when it comes to history, but that was a long time ago. World War II ended in 1945. How is that relevant today? |
| Sometimes the mere existence of a well-established institution, and its pomp and circumstance, can remind people that they're a part of something bigger than themselves. That there's a history that binds you. In this case, as a country. I believe the Royal Family creates unity amongst the British people, including all its territories, around the world. |
| Maybe during the last century, but I do not think that holds true today. Just look at how the British have reacted to the Oprah interview. It shows how opinions are strongly polarized, and instead of creating unity, it is now causing division. In many ways, it is similar to the polarization caused by Trump. And although he is no longer president, the polarization of the American people remains. |
| That's an interesting analogy, but it does point out how far the American political system has changed. It used to be, by and large, about public service. Back when I was in college, the best and the brightest went into politics. Now, I feel that for so many politicians, it's just a job. |
| A well-paying job with good benefits that can lead to many other opportunities. I am sure some are still doing it for public service, but the funny thing is that there are so many other ways to make a difference – including in the business sector, and working for non-profits. |
| Which is what Prince Harry and Meghan say they're going to do. I appreciate they don't have to be part of the Royal Family to make a difference, but members of the Royal Family were always looked upon as great role models. They represented values that were worth trying to emulate – commitment, love of country, honor. And I think Queen Elizabeth still does. |
| What about the others in the Royal Family? Do they just not care about the issues facing "commoners" or are they merely out-of-touch? And, do you think it is possible to take something as old and established as the monarchy and make it relevant in today's world? |
| Too many questions all at once, but I think the Royal Family can play an important role. But it will take everyone being committed to the "bigger picture" and re-focusing on public service – not roles and titles. I know that Prince Charles has waited his entire life to be King, but in many ways, I think the Royal Family stands the best chance of survival if Prince William was to reign, as he represents a more modern Great Britain. |
| I know nothing about Prince William, but know it is not a function of age – but of mindset. Finding balance between your position of royalty – where you are Head of State but must remain neutral with respect to political matters – and yet understanding the challenges facing society. And, although not making the rules, setting an example. |
| Which is why, as I alluded to in my More Than Just A (Royal) Family Feud post, it's too bad that Prince Harry and Meghan aren't still "working members" of the Royal Family. I think they could've brought a much-needed reflection of modern society into The Firm. |
| Well, I do not wish anything but the best for Queen Elizabeth, but it will be interesting to see what happens to The Firm when it is under new management. |
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|
I keep
getting emails about where to go for mocktails. I know alcohol-free cocktails, like Virgin
Margaritas, have been around for a while, but I’d never heard that term before. Do you think it has to do with New Year’s resolutions? |
| It can if any of your resolutions are to lose weight, save money, sleep better. Or, drink less. Psychologically, January is the month when we “reset”, so a UK-based organization, Alcohol Change UK, started Dry January, where you abstain from drinking alcohol. |
| Perfect timing since many people shop, eat, and drink more than usual over the holidays. |
| I know you used to drink a glass of Cold Duck on New Year’s Eve, a tradition going back to our childhood, but that hardly counts as drinking. But, I have always wondered why you rarely drink, but never asked. |
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Black
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| That may be the only thing you haven’t asked me. It isn’t for any moral or health reasons; it’s because, even many decades later, I still have vivid memories of overdoing it at a fraternity dance at college. Although lately, I’ve been drinking more than normal. |
| For you, that means more than one drink … a year. |
| Very funny, but pretty much true. However, after visiting Tennessee Hills Distillery in the fall, I did develop a taste for their flavored rum. So, between the ones I brought home and the bottles of Moscato that Natasha had delivered to me by Drizly as a surprise holiday gift, I’ve had more to drink this holiday season than ever before. |
| Well, I drank more this year, too. But, that is because, during COVID, I went over a year without a drink. For years, I used to go out to dinner several times a week and would always have a drink or two, but now do not go out as often. Combine that with a lack of dating, and my alcohol consumption is almost non-existent. |
| But your condo has a pantry that you converted into a beautiful bar with all those liquor bottles on display. And you’ve collected wine for years. |
| Yes, it looks enticing, but I do not drink alone. Never have. But, if I did, I would probably need to hide the liquor, or put yellow “caution tape” in front of the bar during Dry January. |
| That’s funny, but do you really think that people can go cold turkey for an entire month? That seems like a long time if you’re used to drinking on a regular basis. |
|
Yes. Besides
the fact many bars
are taking advantage of Dry January to offer customers something
new and different versus just alcohol-free versions of traditional
cocktails, the demand for nonalcoholic beverages continues to increase as more people
prioritize healthier lifestyles. Not to
mention, many people now feel less social pressure to drink. |
| Please don’t start quoting statistics and studies! But don’t you think, come February, everyone will just go back to their “normal” habits? |
| Since you do not want me to mention any of the science, or the fact people are already drinking less, I will come at it another way. If once you start Dry January, you experience the health benefits, including more energy, why would you go back to your old habits? |
| Because it’s a habit? Sorry, I couldn’t resist. But good points, especially as we all know drinking can lead to health problems. Not to mention the risks of driving under the influence of alcohol. But I’d think there’s still some peer pressure to drink socially. |
| As more people are trying Dry January, or at least are aware of it, the more acceptable it becomes. And, the easier it is to find others to support you. Although sometimes you may need to avoid those people who do not. |
| Well, I’ve seen you drink this month. And you can’t blame it on me! What’s your excuse? |
| Dry January is not about having a perfect score. It is about reevaluating your relationship with alcohol. And, taking a night off does not mean the end of the effort. It just means it may be a Damp January. |
| You’re going to roll your eyes, but lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about myself. |
| That is totally out of character, unless you are thinking of New Year’s resolutions. |
| Actually, no. For decades, my priorities, and therefore my life, have always been focused on the girls and Mom. But that’s all changing. And I’m not sure how to “change” with it. |
| I know Mom’s passing has left a void in your life. And, although it was over a year ago, it overlapped with you becoming an empty-nester when Sawyer left for college last year. |
| Yes, and having Sawyer home for the holidays, thriving and talking about her future, combined with Natasha possibly buying a home in England, made it all hit home. Pun intended. It’s got me thinking about, well, me. |
| The girls will always need you, although now, for advice, guidance, and support versus day-to-day needs. It is time for the next chapter of your life. |
| Exactly! Except I’m not sure what I want to be when I grow up. |
| I refuse to “grow up.” I refuse to give up on dreams and thinking, pragmatically, of course, what could be. I will never stop being inquisitive. |
| You’ve always had the insatiable curiosity of a child, constantly asking, “Why? Why? Why?” Something I don’t possess, although I do admire it. Except for those times when it’s directed at me. |
| I know it can come across as questioning your decisions, but I am focused on the thought process. Anyway, if you cannot think like a child, what about like a business? |
| Do you mean I should now focus entirely on Red & Black? I love what we do and am excited about all the changes we have in store for 2023, but unlike you, work has never been my “reason for being”. |
| I was not suggesting you become a workaholic; I just think you would benefit from using the concept of a mission statement. But, make it a personal mission statement. |
| That’s easy. A fit and healthy woman of a “certain age” who has finally decluttered her house, organized her boxes full of papers, and has the time, and money, to travel and see family and friends more often. |
| Those are mainly goals and objectives. A business mission statement is a short paragraph, although it can be just a concise sentence, that summarizes the purpose of the business and what is most important to the company. In other words, its “reason for being”. |
| I knowthe definition, but don’t forget, I think more about the day-to-day stuff while you focus on the “big picture”. |
| Think of the mission statement as the ultimate destination, which you need to identify before you start to figure out how to get there. What is most important to you? What, if anything, are you passionate about? What would you want people to say about you when you are gone? What is the legacy you want to leave? |
| I started to say that’s rather morbid, but it does put everything in perspective. I remember Cousin Frankie’s funeral years ago after he died unexpectedly at a young age. Everyone talked about what a good person he was and how he touched all our lives with love and laughter. I’ll never forget our conversation on the plane home when you said, “How you want to be remembered is a good way to live your life.” |
| Yes, but it often gets forgotten in day-to-day living. New Year’s resolutions can be used as an annual reminder, although monthly reminders would be more effective. Which is why I think a mission statement could be invaluable. |
| I’m not sure how a few sentences, or even a paragraph, would make that big a difference. |
| Just starting to write it helps give you focus. It may be a little rough at first, but fine-tuning provides more clarity. Once written, it will give you a sense of direction. And, if you get off track, you can refer back to it. Although reviewing it on a regular basis to help you stay on track would be even better. |
| I like the thought of having a plan for becoming a “better” me. Too often, I feel like I’m trying to make changes in my life, changes I know are good for me, but without any real direction. |
| It is like getting in a car and driving; you will get somewhere – but not necessarily where you want to go. |
| I know that’s one of your favorite car analogies, but it’s still rather “big picture”. So how do I take this magical mission statement and actually use it? |
| One of the things you already mentioned was “the time, and money, to travel and see family and friends more often.” If you were writing a mission statement, and ignoring the “time and money” part, as everyone wants more of each, why would that be part of it? |
| Because in the last year, I reconnected with old friends “in person”, and it meant so much, not only to me but to them. |
| OK. And, why is that important? |
| Fine, here comes your inquisition. Well, I don’t even know where to begin. But I guess it boils down to letting them know how important they are to me, and how I’ll always be there for them. |
| Can you only do that with in-person visits? |
| Of course not. I’ve always called and/or Facetimed them. |
| Do you have time to write a letter? Can you afford a postage stamp? |
| OK, now you’re just being ridiculous. Or overly sarcastic. |
| Am I? Writing an old-fashioned letter has become a lost art, which means receiving a letter in the mail, or a “for no special reason” greeting card even without a handwritten note, can make an ordinary day – special. |
| I’ve always encouraged the girls to write handwritten thank-you notes but never thought about it in terms of a way to reach out to friends to let them know I’m thinking about them. It’s a nice idea. |
| I was not trying to be nice; I was trying to show you how a mission statement is not only “big picture”, but applies to your day-to-day life. It can help you create realistic resolutions that can become habits, all with the same underlying goal – becoming a “better you”. |
| Makes sense. Now, I just have to decide who I want to be in ’23. |
| Sounds like you are a woman on a mission. |
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