| I’ve finally started watching “The Handmaid’s Tale.” Have you watched it? |
| No, but I have read about the premise behind the book and the series because after Roe v. Wade was overturned, social media started comparing the series to what was happening in real life, with women having no control over their reproductive rights. |
| The similarities are even scarier. It takes place in the near-future after the U.S. government (including the Constitution) has been overthrown, and the new republic’s controlled by a ruling class of men. Men who are religious extremists and enforce their religious beliefs on everyone. |
| Well, there goes separation of church and state. But, I guess that is much more efficient than starting with Justices of the Supreme Court who vote based on their religious beliefs, and then proceeding from there. |
| That’s NOT funny. In the show, they use religion as an “excuse” for horrible acts against people. For example, women aren’t allowed to read; and if caught, they cut off a finger so everyone knows their “crime”. |
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| Of course, women are not allowed to read. Reading opens your mind and can give you different perspectives. And, teaches you to think for yourself. I appreciate the series is fictional, but I am confident the underlying book will end up being just one more that some schools and libraries ban. |
| You know I love history and believe learning from the past helps us understand the present and shape the future. What I don’t understand is banning books that “dare” to explore controversial issues. That’s why even books that I may disagree with, or think are awful (in terms of subject matter, not the writing itself), are so important. They reflect the issues, the challenges, the beliefs of what we’re facing as a society. |
| What I find so infuriating is that educators, or more specifically, state agencies and school boards, talk about the need for students to develop critical thinking skills.Yet, they want to ban books that might actually teach them to think critically. And, independently. In an environment that could also teach them about differing perspectives. |
| It’s almost as if educators are against education. Or maybe it’s just that they’re afraid students might learn something that doesn’t fit their own agenda. I hate to say this about the education world, but every day it seems to become more and more political. |
| That is an understatement. Do you remember the confirmation hearings for Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson, when Ted Cruz asked her about the “Antiracist Baby” book? |
| Yes. At the time, I couldn’t figure out why he was making such a big deal of a book written for young children. From what little I knew about it, the premise is that no one’s born a racist; it’s something you learn. I can’t imagine having an issue with that. |
| He was pressing her on issues of racism and the teaching of critical race theory, which is a very controversial topic. Taking issue that she was on the Board of Trustees at a private school that teaches from the book and phrasing it to insinuate that babies are being taught to be racists. |
| Huh? That sounds like he twisted the words to try and make her look bad. But I admit I haven’t read the book. |
| I did. I, like many other people, immediately ordered it. (Cruz’s tirade made it an Amazon bestseller.) It is a beautifully illustrated book that poses nine simple questions to start conversations about racism. I know it is a children’s book, but I think it should be required reading in all schools. And, by all school boards. And, for any grownups who think racism is wrong and want to do something about it. |
| Well, I think it would be more likely to end up on a “banned book” list than required reading. Unfortunately, I’m sure there are lots of books we read growing up that are no longer taught in some schools. |
| “To Kill A Mockingbird” ended up being one of my all-time favorite books, but it has become very controversial. However, I was probably focused on Atticus’s legal maneuvering and Scout questioning authority versus the racist issues. |
| Gee, what a surprise. To be honest, I wasn’t a fan of the story, although I know it’s a classic. And won a Pulitzer Prize back in 1961, before I was even born. I hate when things are taken out of context. Instead of discussing the book’s message and looking at it in the light of people’s beliefs at the time and discussing how beliefs have (or have not) changed, they act as if it’s being written today. |
| The supposed logic about banning it was that it had strong language, including the n-word, and the discussion of sexuality and rape. Interestingly, they sidestepped the most obvious topic – racism. Which begs the question, “Why?” Unless, of course, you have something to hide. |
| It’s a very dangerous climate we’re living in, and I’m not talking about climate change. About six months ago, I watched the original (1966) version of the movie “Fahrenheit 451” which takes place in the not-so-distant future where books and intellectual thought are illegal. And I thought how back then I’d have considered it science fiction, but now I wonder if it’s a forecast of things to come. |
| To some extent, you do not have to outlaw intellectual thought. Social media and biased-media are doing their best to stop it, which is why news literacy is more important than ever. But, the banning of books as a way to control not only what students think, but to prevent them from learning to question and discuss beliefs different from their own, and then make their own decisions, is not only scary, but dangerous. |
| This conversation started with me simply asking if you’ve seen “The Handmaid’s Tale.” But somehow, you turned it into a discussion about the banning of books and what we teach in school. All I now know is that I’d like to bury my head in the sand. |
| Being an ostrich is the opposite of what you should do. All these fictional stories, whether movies, television series, or books, have people that stand up for what they believe is right. So, why not be both entertained and inspired? |
| So, you’re telling me I need to speak up and speak out? |
| And, hope one day we have enough of a following that someone wants to ban Red & Black. |
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|
I keep
getting emails about where to go for mocktails. I know alcohol-free cocktails, like Virgin
Margaritas, have been around for a while, but I’d never heard that term before. Do you think it has to do with New Year’s resolutions? |
| It can if any of your resolutions are to lose weight, save money, sleep better. Or, drink less. Psychologically, January is the month when we “reset”, so a UK-based organization, Alcohol Change UK, started Dry January, where you abstain from drinking alcohol. |
| Perfect timing since many people shop, eat, and drink more than usual over the holidays. |
| I know you used to drink a glass of Cold Duck on New Year’s Eve, a tradition going back to our childhood, but that hardly counts as drinking. But, I have always wondered why you rarely drink, but never asked. |
| That may be the only thing you haven’t asked me. It isn’t for any moral or health reasons; it’s because, even many decades later, I still have vivid memories of overdoing it at a fraternity dance at college. Although lately, I’ve been drinking more than normal. |
| For you, that means more than one drink … a year. |
| Very funny, but pretty much true. However, after visiting Tennessee Hills Distillery in the fall, I did develop a taste for their flavored rum. So, between the ones I brought home and the bottles of Moscato that Natasha had delivered to me by Drizly as a surprise holiday gift, I’ve had more to drink this holiday season than ever before. |
| Well, I drank more this year, too. But, that is because, during COVID, I went over a year without a drink. For years, I used to go out to dinner several times a week and would always have a drink or two, but now do not go out as often. Combine that with a lack of dating, and my alcohol consumption is almost non-existent. |
| But your condo has a pantry that you converted into a beautiful bar with all those liquor bottles on display. And you’ve collected wine for years. |
| Yes, it looks enticing, but I do not drink alone. Never have. But, if I did, I would probably need to hide the liquor, or put yellow “caution tape” in front of the bar during Dry January. |
| That’s funny, but do you really think that people can go cold turkey for an entire month? That seems like a long time if you’re used to drinking on a regular basis. |
|
Yes. Besides
the fact many bars
are taking advantage of Dry January to offer customers something
new and different versus just alcohol-free versions of traditional
cocktails, the demand for nonalcoholic beverages continues to increase as more people
prioritize healthier lifestyles. Not to
mention, many people now feel less social pressure to drink. |
| Please don’t start quoting statistics and studies! But don’t you think, come February, everyone will just go back to their “normal” habits? |
| Since you do not want me to mention any of the science, or the fact people are already drinking less, I will come at it another way. If once you start Dry January, you experience the health benefits, including more energy, why would you go back to your old habits? |
| Because it’s a habit? Sorry, I couldn’t resist. But good points, especially as we all know drinking can lead to health problems. Not to mention the risks of driving under the influence of alcohol. But I’d think there’s still some peer pressure to drink socially. |
| As more people are trying Dry January, or at least are aware of it, the more acceptable it becomes. And, the easier it is to find others to support you. Although sometimes you may need to avoid those people who do not. |
| Well, I’ve seen you drink this month. And you can’t blame it on me! What’s your excuse? |
| Dry January is not about having a perfect score. It is about reevaluating your relationship with alcohol. And, taking a night off does not mean the end of the effort. It just means it may be a Damp January. |
| You’re going to roll your eyes, but lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about myself. |
| That is totally out of character, unless you are thinking of New Year’s resolutions. |
| Actually, no. For decades, my priorities, and therefore my life, have always been focused on the girls and Mom. But that’s all changing. And I’m not sure how to “change” with it. |
| I know Mom’s passing has left a void in your life. And, although it was over a year ago, it overlapped with you becoming an empty-nester when Sawyer left for college last year. |
| Yes, and having Sawyer home for the holidays, thriving and talking about her future, combined with Natasha possibly buying a home in England, made it all hit home. Pun intended. It’s got me thinking about, well, me. |
| The girls will always need you, although now, for advice, guidance, and support versus day-to-day needs. It is time for the next chapter of your life. |
| Exactly! Except I’m not sure what I want to be when I grow up. |
| I refuse to “grow up.” I refuse to give up on dreams and thinking, pragmatically, of course, what could be. I will never stop being inquisitive. |
| You’ve always had the insatiable curiosity of a child, constantly asking, “Why? Why? Why?” Something I don’t possess, although I do admire it. Except for those times when it’s directed at me. |
| I know it can come across as questioning your decisions, but I am focused on the thought process. Anyway, if you cannot think like a child, what about like a business? |
| Do you mean I should now focus entirely on Red & Black? I love what we do and am excited about all the changes we have in store for 2023, but unlike you, work has never been my “reason for being”. |
| I was not suggesting you become a workaholic; I just think you would benefit from using the concept of a mission statement. But, make it a personal mission statement. |
| That’s easy. A fit and healthy woman of a “certain age” who has finally decluttered her house, organized her boxes full of papers, and has the time, and money, to travel and see family and friends more often. |
| Those are mainly goals and objectives. A business mission statement is a short paragraph, although it can be just a concise sentence, that summarizes the purpose of the business and what is most important to the company. In other words, its “reason for being”. |
| I knowthe definition, but don’t forget, I think more about the day-to-day stuff while you focus on the “big picture”. |
| Think of the mission statement as the ultimate destination, which you need to identify before you start to figure out how to get there. What is most important to you? What, if anything, are you passionate about? What would you want people to say about you when you are gone? What is the legacy you want to leave? |
| I started to say that’s rather morbid, but it does put everything in perspective. I remember Cousin Frankie’s funeral years ago after he died unexpectedly at a young age. Everyone talked about what a good person he was and how he touched all our lives with love and laughter. I’ll never forget our conversation on the plane home when you said, “How you want to be remembered is a good way to live your life.” |
| Yes, but it often gets forgotten in day-to-day living. New Year’s resolutions can be used as an annual reminder, although monthly reminders would be more effective. Which is why I think a mission statement could be invaluable. |
| I’m not sure how a few sentences, or even a paragraph, would make that big a difference. |
| Just starting to write it helps give you focus. It may be a little rough at first, but fine-tuning provides more clarity. Once written, it will give you a sense of direction. And, if you get off track, you can refer back to it. Although reviewing it on a regular basis to help you stay on track would be even better. |
| I like the thought of having a plan for becoming a “better” me. Too often, I feel like I’m trying to make changes in my life, changes I know are good for me, but without any real direction. |
| It is like getting in a car and driving; you will get somewhere – but not necessarily where you want to go. |
| I know that’s one of your favorite car analogies, but it’s still rather “big picture”. So how do I take this magical mission statement and actually use it? |
| One of the things you already mentioned was “the time, and money, to travel and see family and friends more often.” If you were writing a mission statement, and ignoring the “time and money” part, as everyone wants more of each, why would that be part of it? |
| Because in the last year, I reconnected with old friends “in person”, and it meant so much, not only to me but to them. |
| OK. And, why is that important? |
| Fine, here comes your inquisition. Well, I don’t even know where to begin. But I guess it boils down to letting them know how important they are to me, and how I’ll always be there for them. |
| Can you only do that with in-person visits? |
| Of course not. I’ve always called and/or Facetimed them. |
| Do you have time to write a letter? Can you afford a postage stamp? |
| OK, now you’re just being ridiculous. Or overly sarcastic. |
| Am I? Writing an old-fashioned letter has become a lost art, which means receiving a letter in the mail, or a “for no special reason” greeting card even without a handwritten note, can make an ordinary day – special. |
| I’ve always encouraged the girls to write handwritten thank-you notes but never thought about it in terms of a way to reach out to friends to let them know I’m thinking about them. It’s a nice idea. |
| I was not trying to be nice; I was trying to show you how a mission statement is not only “big picture”, but applies to your day-to-day life. It can help you create realistic resolutions that can become habits, all with the same underlying goal – becoming a “better you”. |
| Makes sense. Now, I just have to decide who I want to be in ’23. |
| Sounds like you are a woman on a mission. |
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