| I’ve finally started watching “The Handmaid’s Tale.” Have you watched it? |
| No, but I have read about the premise behind the book and the series because after Roe v. Wade was overturned, social media started comparing the series to what was happening in real life, with women having no control over their reproductive rights. |
| The similarities are even scarier. It takes place in the near-future after the U.S. government (including the Constitution) has been overthrown, and the new republic’s controlled by a ruling class of men. Men who are religious extremists and enforce their religious beliefs on everyone. |
| Well, there goes separation of church and state. But, I guess that is much more efficient than starting with Justices of the Supreme Court who vote based on their religious beliefs, and then proceeding from there. |
| That’s NOT funny. In the show, they use religion as an “excuse” for horrible acts against people. For example, women aren’t allowed to read; and if caught, they cut off a finger so everyone knows their “crime”. |
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| Of course, women are not allowed to read. Reading opens your mind and can give you different perspectives. And, teaches you to think for yourself. I appreciate the series is fictional, but I am confident the underlying book will end up being just one more that some schools and libraries ban. |
| You know I love history and believe learning from the past helps us understand the present and shape the future. What I don’t understand is banning books that “dare” to explore controversial issues. That’s why even books that I may disagree with, or think are awful (in terms of subject matter, not the writing itself), are so important. They reflect the issues, the challenges, the beliefs of what we’re facing as a society. |
| What I find so infuriating is that educators, or more specifically, state agencies and school boards, talk about the need for students to develop critical thinking skills.Yet, they want to ban books that might actually teach them to think critically. And, independently. In an environment that could also teach them about differing perspectives. |
| It’s almost as if educators are against education. Or maybe it’s just that they’re afraid students might learn something that doesn’t fit their own agenda. I hate to say this about the education world, but every day it seems to become more and more political. |
| That is an understatement. Do you remember the confirmation hearings for Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson, when Ted Cruz asked her about the “Antiracist Baby” book? |
| Yes. At the time, I couldn’t figure out why he was making such a big deal of a book written for young children. From what little I knew about it, the premise is that no one’s born a racist; it’s something you learn. I can’t imagine having an issue with that. |
| He was pressing her on issues of racism and the teaching of critical race theory, which is a very controversial topic. Taking issue that she was on the Board of Trustees at a private school that teaches from the book and phrasing it to insinuate that babies are being taught to be racists. |
| Huh? That sounds like he twisted the words to try and make her look bad. But I admit I haven’t read the book. |
| I did. I, like many other people, immediately ordered it. (Cruz’s tirade made it an Amazon bestseller.) It is a beautifully illustrated book that poses nine simple questions to start conversations about racism. I know it is a children’s book, but I think it should be required reading in all schools. And, by all school boards. And, for any grownups who think racism is wrong and want to do something about it. |
| Well, I think it would be more likely to end up on a “banned book” list than required reading. Unfortunately, I’m sure there are lots of books we read growing up that are no longer taught in some schools. |
| “To Kill A Mockingbird” ended up being one of my all-time favorite books, but it has become very controversial. However, I was probably focused on Atticus’s legal maneuvering and Scout questioning authority versus the racist issues. |
| Gee, what a surprise. To be honest, I wasn’t a fan of the story, although I know it’s a classic. And won a Pulitzer Prize back in 1961, before I was even born. I hate when things are taken out of context. Instead of discussing the book’s message and looking at it in the light of people’s beliefs at the time and discussing how beliefs have (or have not) changed, they act as if it’s being written today. |
| The supposed logic about banning it was that it had strong language, including the n-word, and the discussion of sexuality and rape. Interestingly, they sidestepped the most obvious topic – racism. Which begs the question, “Why?” Unless, of course, you have something to hide. |
| It’s a very dangerous climate we’re living in, and I’m not talking about climate change. About six months ago, I watched the original (1966) version of the movie “Fahrenheit 451” which takes place in the not-so-distant future where books and intellectual thought are illegal. And I thought how back then I’d have considered it science fiction, but now I wonder if it’s a forecast of things to come. |
| To some extent, you do not have to outlaw intellectual thought. Social media and biased-media are doing their best to stop it, which is why news literacy is more important than ever. But, the banning of books as a way to control not only what students think, but to prevent them from learning to question and discuss beliefs different from their own, and then make their own decisions, is not only scary, but dangerous. |
| This conversation started with me simply asking if you’ve seen “The Handmaid’s Tale.” But somehow, you turned it into a discussion about the banning of books and what we teach in school. All I now know is that I’d like to bury my head in the sand. |
| Being an ostrich is the opposite of what you should do. All these fictional stories, whether movies, television series, or books, have people that stand up for what they believe is right. So, why not be both entertained and inspired? |
| So, you’re telling me I need to speak up and speak out? |
| And, hope one day we have enough of a following that someone wants to ban Red & Black. |
Want to read other columns? Here's a list.
Since we first ran the conversation below, autism awareness has become more commonplace, but there’s a big difference between that and acceptance. (Which is why April is now Autism ACCEPTANCE Month.) Not to mention assumptions. Labels aside, don’t we all have something of value to contribute? Think about your different abilities (Black calls them “diff-abilities”), and you may find a new way to look at others, especially those with autism -- with respect, empathy, and a desire to better understand their situations, strengths, and challenges.
| Did you know that April's Autism Awareness Month? I wasn't aware (pun intended) of it until I read our local homeowner's monthly newsletter and it caught my eye. |
| Actually, last month the founding organization, the Autism Society, changed "Awareness "to "Acceptance" to foster inclusivity, as knowing about something is very different from accepting it. But I am guessing that is not the point of this call. |
| Although it isn't autism, it reminded me of years ago when we found out that Natasha has learning disabilities. |
| I think you mean DIFF-abilities. |
| Of course, that's another thing I remember. I was focused on the negative aspects of her diagnosis until you asked me, point-blank, "Why are they called disabilities?" And proceeded to explain that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. |
| Exactly! Imagine the world if everyone excelled at math, but flunked English. Or, a world of lawyers, but no musicians. Some people are better at social skills, while others excel at handling technical data. Why not just say that people who have different skillsets and abilities have DIFF-abilities versus making them feel like they have shortcomings? |
| I know that you completely changed my way of thinking, not only about Natasha but about the concept of "disabilities" full stop. It opened my eyes – and my brain – about how just because someone has challenges or limited abilities in some areas, that doesn't mean they don't have different gifts and strengths in other areas. |
| Exactly. Although autism is a "spectrum condition" meaning it affects people differently and to varying degrees, it is a complex developmental disorder that can affect a person's social skills, and ability to communicate and interact with others. However, autistic people usually possess some extremely valuable traits that are rare in non-autistic people. |
| Which is why it frustrates me that so many people feel like those with disabilities, excuse me DIFF-abilities, are "lesser" people. When Natasha was diagnosed, she was in her teens and already had a very strong personality (no doubt inherited from you) and, luckily, seemed to have an innate understanding that she was just different, not better, not worse, than others. I guess one of the biggest challenges is to get others to see things with the same mindset. |
| We are a story-telling society, and there are countless stories of people with DIFF-abilities, including those with autism, that are eye-opening and more powerful than anything we could ever say. |
| Funny you say that, as I was curious to learn more about autism and found some inspiring quotes (including a wonderful Tom Hanks clip) that not only gave me great insight but made me smile. One of my favorites was how Paul Collins, an author and parent of an autistic child, said, "Autists are the ultimate square pegs, and the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It's that you're destroying the peg." That's such a great way to describe not only those with autism but any disability. |
| Well, technically, it will fit, but it requires that the diameter of the circle be larger than the diagonal of the square. Basic geometry. But, I understand Paul Collin's point. |
| Talk about DIFF-abilities! Couldn't you just agree with me? |
| The thought never crossed my mind. |
Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Ye Jinghan on Unsplash
We’ve all wanted a “second chance” at some point in our lives. A “do-over” for a mistake we made, a bad decision, or something that didn’t work out well. An opportunity to show (to ourselves and to others) that we learned our lesson.
Now imagine that second chance being life-changing. For many people who’ve found themselves on the wrong side of the law, a second chance might be all they need to turn their lives around. Which is why April was designated Second Chance Month and why we’re rerunning what changed Red’s perspective on second chances …
| I had no idea that April was “Second Chance Month” until you sent me the official proclamation. I find it interesting that in the midst of juggling our usual million and one Red & Black things, your interest in criminal justice, which I know you consider a “passion project”, is as strong as ever, maybe even stronger. |
| It is not intentional, sometimes “ passion projects” find you. And, when you least expect it. |
| Or where you least expect it! Only you would take a “field trip” to a men’s prison. |
| I will not get on my soapbox about how our education system contributes to the criminal justice problem. I will never forget a friend of mine who was formerly incarcerated telling me, “Rehabilitating people makes the assumption they were habilitated in the first place.” |
| When you stop and think about that statement, it’s pretty powerful! But I have to smile as once upon a time you, and I, used words like “offenders” and “prisoners” until we learned how our choice of words could be dehumanizing . |
| Says the woman who once believed in the idea of “lock ’em up and throw away the key”. |
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| That was before! I know you told me that just because someone made a bad decision, it didn’t make them a bad person, but it sounded like a cliche. Now, my opinion is based on our experience and the impact we’ve seen . The feedback has been eye-opening. Unfortunately, life doesn’t come with “do-overs.” |
| Exactly. None of us are perfect. We have all made bad decisions. Second chances are about opportunities to show we have learned from our mistakes. |
| Well, I know I have. Obviously, not anything illegal. But it made me determined to teach my daughters what I had learned. Probably one of the most heartwarming parts of the feedback we’ve received is that so many people on the inside want better – not only for themselves, but for their children and grandchildren. |
| Yes, which is why having a second chance is so critical. And, helping set people up for success, not failure, because it is about more than changing the lives of the formerly incarcerated -- it can change the lives of their families and, in turn, our communities and our country. |
| A ripple effect that could mean more people may get it right the first time and not need a second chance. |
| True. Maybe we should look at it as giving society a second chance … |
Maybe Skin Cancer Advice, But Don’t Expect A Compliment From A Sarcastic Sister
I'll never forget the day. It was an "almost" ordinary day out on the golf course with my mom and dad during the heat of a Long Island summer. Now, if "Long Island" conjures up images of stately manors on the North Shore (think "Great Gatsby") or beachfront mansions in the Hamptons (think Robin Leach and his popular show "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous"), you can put those out of your head. I'm not talking about some fancy country club golf course, just a regular public course.
I loved the game ever since I learned to play as a teenager, and although I never got to play while at college (Wake Forest, which was renowned for its golf program, with its most famous alumni being Arnold Palmer), I'd try to get out as often as possible when I was home. I wasn't a phenomenal player but had a decent game and natural talent. And most of the time, I hit it pretty straight, so one of the things I enjoyed was walking down the middle of the fairway, pulling my clubs along (no fancy golf carts on this course), appreciating the day and the sport.
On one (very rare) occasion, my sister came back to New York to visit, as she moved out of state as soon as she graduated from business school. She also played golf, but unlike me, who relied on natural ability and played for fun, she worked extremely hard at her game, was overly competitive, and played "business golf". The result was that she was a far better player than me, although I was holding my own on that day.
As Black often says, the scorecard contains only numbers, no editorial. And it would ultimately show that she'd beat me, but as we were each walking up one of the last holes toward our respective balls, in the heat of a late summer afternoon, with the sun at our backs, I was secretly hoping that she'd be proud of me. So, after I hit my fairway shot onto the green, I heard her call out to me, and my hopes were high,
I wasn't sure whether to laugh, cry, or be angry. Or to just roll my eyes as it really was something only my sister would say. And to this day, I'm not even sure if she had even noticed how close I came to beating her and how well I played – "upping" my game driven by her much better game.
But I also know that I can never look down at my very pale legs without laughing just a little at how a lifetime ago (or so it seems), she was so right. Recently, when she treated me to my first pair of Birkenstocks, I stood in the store trying them on, and before she had a chance to say it I told her … Yes, I do look like I have on white hose.
P. S. – I feel it only fair (pun intended) to have a P.S. for a P.S.A. – Long ago, the harm of the summer sun wasn't as well known, but in the years since, we've learned how important sunblock is. Year-round. So, whether you're a redhead who never tans (I used to cycle between being extremely pale and burning red and back again) or someone who does tan, take care of your skin!