Words & Banter

Who To Be In ’23?

Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

At the start of the year, Red was feeling selfish and not in terms of New Year’s resolutions. It was because she entered the new year as an empty nester (her youngest was already a college sophomore) and better adjusted to our mom being gone (Red had been her primary caregiver). Which meant she felt self-centered.

Like many moms, Red doesn’t think of herself first. Or second. Or, for that matter, even third. But when she started talking with Black, Red realized she needed to think about “Who To Be In ‘23” (which became our January column), but she never expected Black would suggest she act more like a child. Or, if that didn’t work, be more business-like, and then Black explained the concept of a personal mission statement.

The year may be close to its mid-point (is the glass half-empty or half-full?), but it’s always a good time to be a woman (or man) on a mission. Not sure where to begin? Start with the column and then think about who you want to be …

Photo by OnTheRunPhoto for iStock

When we first ran the post below, Red had never heard of “Dry January” (or “Damp January"), so Black wasn't surprised that she hadn't heard of a new phenomenon (especially with younger people) called "Dry Dating" (aka "Sober Dating"). The idea is to go on dates and see if there's chemistry when both people are fully themselves — no “liquid courage” allowed. And January’s the perfect month to test-drive it ...



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I keep getting emails about where to go for mocktails. I know alcohol-free cocktails, like Virgin Margaritas, have been around for a while, but I’d never heard that term before. Do you think it has to do with New Year’s resolutions?


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It can if any of your resolutions are to loseweight, save money, sleep better. Or, drink less. Psychologically, January is the month when we “reset”, so a UK-based organization, Alcohol Change UK, started DryJanuary, where you abstain from drinking alcohol.


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Perfect timing since many people shop, eat, and drink more than usual over the holidays.


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I know you used to drink a glass of ColdDuck on New Year’s Eve, a tradition going back to our childhood, but that hardly counts as drinking. But, I have always wondered why you rarely drink, but never asked.
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They may not be the most meaningful holidays, but they may be some of the most fun, so we’re rerunning this post. Of course, Red thinks popcorn is nothing to be taken lightly, since it gives her such happiness. But even Black has favorites (scroll to the bottom). What would be yours?


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It’s January, and everyone’s probably tired of reading about New Year’s resolutions.

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Not me. Since I never make them, I never feel the need to read about them.

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Of course, you don’t. So, what should we write about?

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How about that we celebrate some of our favorite things in January?

So many “National Days” in January are fun (we’ve written about them over the years) and remind us of some of our favorite things. (Can you pick which are Red’s favorite holidays and which are Black’s?) And whether or not you make resolutions, it’s always important to have a sense of humor and enjoy the simpler things in life …

Answer: Red’s favorites are Bagels, Popcorn, and Hugging. Black’s are Clean Desk, Bagels, and Backward.

May 2026 be the year that everything clicks …