Words & Banter

Are You Thinking About Hearts On Valentine’s Day?

Image by farakos on iStock

Red, as the warm and fuzzy one, is more likely to celebrate Valentine’s Day in the traditional way. (Although Black can’t help but pragmatically point out in “RED& BLACK … A Monthly Valentine,” it can be more than a one-day celebration.) But Red has taken to heart (pun intended) what Black said last year about being heart-healthy … not only for herself but for her daughters.



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Happy Valentine’s Day. And before you say anything, yes, I know you don’t celebrate holidays, so just humor me.


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But, I do “celebrate” February being American Heart Month since heart disease is the leading cause of death – for both men and women.


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Gee, that’s one way to turn a “fun” holiday into a real downer. Today’s supposed to be about letting people you love and care about know that you’re thinking of them. Think Hallmark cards, squishy teddy bears, chocolate hearts.


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Do I have to? I rather think about eating well and exercising. I would think you would want to make sure you are around for the people you care about.

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I do, and the irony is that I know what to do . I just can’t find the motivation to keep it going for more than a few days. But when it comes to eating well and exercising, nothing seems to deter you.

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Because every morning, I walk into a large closet filled with size 2 clothing.

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That’s funny.

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It is the truth. I have always been a clothes horse. Now, decades later, I have a significant investment hanging in my closet. And, since almost everything is timeless and classic, I would be extremely annoyed if it no longer fit.

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Well, even if that’s something us “mere mortals” can’t relate to, at least it keeps you motivated. I just don’t have anything like that in my life.

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Really? I can name two things.

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Well, I’m not sure Natasha and Sawyer would want to be referred to as “things”, but I see your point. I think I did a better job staying fit when they were younger and truly needed me every day. Plus, back when I was cooking for them, I was more focused on healthy eating.

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Those are excuses. Are you saying that now that they no longer need you as cook and chauffeur, they also do not need your life experience and unconditional love? Especially as they face the challenges of adulthood.

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Ok, now I don’t know whether to feel guilty or sad because I’m not taking good enough care of myself to always be there for them. At least, if I’m lucky, for the next 30 or 40 years.

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How about stop being so dramatic and just start taking better care of yourself? Do you remember the airplane and oxygen mask analogy?


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Absolutely. It was one of your more clever trick questions. You asked me if I was on a plane with the girls and we lost altitude, causing the oxygen masks to drop, would I first put the mask on myself or the girls. I answered, “The girls, of course.” You then pointed out that if I didn’t take care of myself first, I wouldn’t be in a position to help them.


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And everyone else that might either need you or want to have you around for a long time. But, it is your call … you can make smart decisions now or regret it later.


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Well, that’s brutally honest. But it has motivated me to go for a walk and think about how I’m going to not only begin, but maintain, a “new and improved” lifestyle. I guess, in many ways, I’m now saying Happy Valentine’s Day to myself, not you.


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Mission accomplished.


After a busy weekend doing all those personal things that pile up during the week, I feel like I need a nap. But ironically, I never think about weekend naps, even though I could “rationalize” them as doing something positive for myself vs. feeling like it’s a “guilty pleasure” (which is how I feel about workday naps).

When I mentioned that to Black, she suggested I reread my post below (I still laugh at one of the places Black has taken power naps). She then added that it was a selfish request as she knows that my work, not to mention my mood, improves from recharging my batteries.

I'm sitting at my computer but I see our big black labradoodle, Moo (imagine calling for her on the street), curled up for a nap in an armchair. I look at her with love but also with more than a touch of envy. Because as much as the stacks of papers on my desk beckon (or is it taunts) me, a nap's what I really want, and probably need.

The reasons why are unimportant but probably familiar to most people. I stayed up later than I planned, then my sleep was interrupted during the night by Moo, a crazy morning filled with unplanned things that delayed what I'd hoped to have accomplished, which meant I was now working at full speed to "catch up" and I felt exhausted. Not to mention, this morning's caffeine had worn off hours ago.

You may be thinking, "You work from home, just stop what you're doing and take a nap." Well, it sounds like good advice except I'd feel guilty doing that, especially during a workday. A nap just seems selfish. Plus, I'm not sure how I'd explain it to Black, although she doesn't sleep normal hours, and does take power naps.

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Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash


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Why does everything have to be such a struggle? Even a simple phone call to a doctor’s office. I don’t know whether it’s because I’m tired or getting older, but I just don’t have the time or the patience for this.


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Me, neither.


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Do you mean this conversation? Or are you agreeing with me? Which, although nice, doesn’t make sense, as you don’t even know what happened.
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If you asked each of us our favorite childhood book, Red would draw a blank, while Black would quickly reply, “The Little Engine That Could,” and then start repeating, “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.” But if you asked about our memory of the first book we read on our own, we might not remember the title, but it would be a Dr. Seuss book. And even though we both love to read, that would probably be the last time we agreed on what to read (see Red's original post below). Red prefers to read for enjoyment and escape (she’ll read online articles as “brain breaks” during the workday), while Black always seems to be “researching” something … and recently sent Red an article listing the benefits of reading because, in addition to our love of reading, we both love lists!

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