Words & Banter

Are You Thinking About Hearts On Valentine’s Day?

Image by farakos on iStock

Red, as the warm and fuzzy one, is more likely to celebrate Valentine’s Day in the traditional way. (Although Black can’t help but pragmatically point out in “RED& BLACK … A Monthly Valentine,” it can be more than a one-day celebration.) But Red has taken to heart (pun intended) what Black said last year about being heart-healthy … not only for herself but for her daughters.



red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

Happy Valentine’s Day. And before you say anything, yes, I know you don’t celebrate holidays, so just humor me.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

But, I do “celebrate” February being American Heart Month since heart disease is the leading cause of death – for both men and women.


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

Gee, that’s one way to turn a “fun” holiday into a real downer. Today’s supposed to be about letting people you love and care about know that you’re thinking of them. Think Hallmark cards, squishy teddy bears, chocolate hearts.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

Do I have to? I rather think about eating well and exercising. I would think you would want to make sure you are around for the people you care about.

red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io


I do, and the irony is that I know what to do . I just can’t find the motivation to keep it going for more than a few days. But when it comes to eating well and exercising, nothing seems to deter you.

Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


Because every morning, I walk into a large closet filled with size 2 clothing.

red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io


That’s funny.

Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


It is the truth. I have always been a clothes horse. Now, decades later, I have a significant investment hanging in my closet. And, since almost everything is timeless and classic, I would be extremely annoyed if it no longer fit.

red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io


Well, even if that’s something us “mere mortals” can’t relate to, at least it keeps you motivated. I just don’t have anything like that in my life.

Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


Really? I can name two things.

red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io


Well, I’m not sure Natasha and Sawyer would want to be referred to as “things”, but I see your point. I think I did a better job staying fit when they were younger and truly needed me every day. Plus, back when I was cooking for them, I was more focused on healthy eating.

Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


Those are excuses. Are you saying that now that they no longer need you as cook and chauffeur, they also do not need your life experience and unconditional love? Especially as they face the challenges of adulthood.

red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io


Ok, now I don’t know whether to feel guilty or sad because I’m not taking good enough care of myself to always be there for them. At least, if I’m lucky, for the next 30 or 40 years.

Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


How about stop being so dramatic and just start taking better care of yourself? Do you remember the airplane and oxygen mask analogy?


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

Absolutely. It was one of your more clever trick questions. You asked me if I was on a plane with the girls and we lost altitude, causing the oxygen masks to drop, would I first put the mask on myself or the girls. I answered, “The girls, of course.” You then pointed out that if I didn’t take care of myself first, I wouldn’t be in a position to help them.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

And everyone else that might either need you or want to have you around for a long time. But, it is your call … you can make smart decisions now or regret it later.


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

Well, that’s brutally honest. But it has motivated me to go for a walk and think about how I’m going to not only begin, but maintain, a “new and improved” lifestyle. I guess, in many ways, I’m now saying Happy Valentine’s Day to myself, not you.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

Mission accomplished.


Life can change in an instant, and the repercussions not only begin instantly but will forever change your life. And often, the lives of others.

However, there was no way to know on that rainy Friday, Red’s crisis would be the start of her journey to take control of her life instead of letting her life control her. It wasn’t surprising that Black’s version of that day was very different, but that may have contributed to the creation of Red & Black … and our journey filled with many detours …

So, curious how Red & Black started? Well, on the surface, it would seem our journey started with the launch of the book I co-authored with my sister, What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired! But we all know that what leads up to the "start" of a journey can be just as important, and sometimes even more important. It's like a vacation, the actual vacation falls somewhere in the middle – after the planning and packing and before the post-vacation "recovery" phases that always seen to include lots of laundry.

But I digress (warning, I do that a lot). The real beginning of the journey started on a rainy Friday in January 2004.

Keep Reading ...Show less
Photo by Walter Bibikow on Alamy
Red may be the theater major and movie fanatic, but when we talk about women’s equality and role models, ironically, I am the one who brings up movie and television characters. (Although she keeps trying to convince me that I am a role model.) Maybe because my favorite movie character is Scarlett in “Gone With The Wind,” and growing up, I was inspired by Marlo Thomas and “That Girl.” But once I learned the backstory of “I Love Lucy,” I realized Lucille Ball was the ultimate badass …


I Love Lucy. For many of us, myself included, those three words bring back memories of favorite episodes of the “I Love Lucy” show. And, although I would be hard-pressed to pick my favorites, some may reminisce that the show, which ran from 1951 – 1957, was from a simpler time and is dated. I would argue that the comic timing, the gags, and the chemistry of the characters have stood the test of time.

Maybe it is because they took frustrating situations in everyday life and then pushed them to the extreme – and made them hilarious along the way. For example, your young child wants a superhero at their birthday party. Reasonable. But for Lucy, after unsuccessfully trying to book Superman (Chris Reeves), she dons the costume in “Lucy and Superman.” A classic.

Keep Reading ...Show less
Photo by alzay on iStock

It may seem odd to talk about footprints in the snow when most of us are experiencing record heat. But, as we all go through our busy days, it is easy to overlook how the steps we take in life, whether intentional or unplanned, good or bad, lead us to where we are today. And, while it is easy to focus on the past, the future is an untrodden path, waiting for our next step …

Back in 2004, I met an older couple participating in a Ferrari rally, and after a deep conversation over a long lunch, they became dear friends. It was an event that would change my life in many ways, and several months later, shortly after my husband “surprised” me with a divorce, the husband sent me an email that so moved me that I put it in my “Blue Book”. (A Circa planner with a blue leather cover, hence the name, that includes not only my calendars but also a section with a few things I re-read on a regular basis.)

Last month, he passed away. I always made a point of letting them know that “Footprints” had become an important part of my life. They are words to live by. And, in honor of my dear friend, who is loved and missed, I want to share that email. With no edits … as we do not get to edit our lives …

Keep Reading ...Show less