| It is February, so I suppose we should do something with a Valentine’s Day theme. Which is too warm and fuzzy for me, so you are on your own. |
| You’re not getting off the hook that easily! Although, as the most pragmatic and non-emotional person I know, I doubt that you’ll have anything of “romantic” value to say. |
| Well, I could talk about the business aspects of sending flowers, heart-shaped boxes of chocolate, and remembering to tell people you love that you love them – which, by the way, should NOT require a holiday. |
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| You’re right. Maybe I do need to write this on my own. Especially since there’s nothing wrong with using Valentine’s Day as a reminder to tell people you’re thinking of them. |
| I thought that was one of your New Year’s resolutions – to reach out to people you have not spoken to in a while – whether friends or distant family. Or, even new acquaintances. |
| It was. And I loved your idea to pick one person each month to reach out to – whether by phone, Zoom, email, or even a handwritten note, so that by year-end, I’ll have touched the lives of 12 people. |
| Let me guess. You had it to do on your January “to-do” list, and it never happened. |
| Exactly. So, instead of feeling motivated, I feel defeated. |
| I am confident you wished lots of people “Happy New Year,” so that counts for January, and you still have time to send Valentine’s Day wishes, so you are good until March. You are on a roll, so keep up the good work. |
| You definitely look at things differently than I do. But I have February covered, as when I was at HEB buying Valentine’s Day cards for the girls, I bought one for Lisa, my best friend since grade school. She was just made a partner at her law firm, and instead of a congratulations card, I found the perfect Valentine’s Day card that talked about friendship. And I took the time to add a heartfelt, pun intended, message of congratulations. |
| Maybe you should stock up on Valentine’s Day cards and then use them all year long for an assortment of purposes. |
| Well, that sounds good, but I’m afraid it will fall by the wayside, along with so many other good ideas I’ve had over the years. |
| That sounds like a defeatist attitude. Explain how you manage to go to the gym at the same time every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, but cannot reach out to one “special” person during the month. |
| That’s because I finally listened to you and put it on my calendar and treat it like a doctor’s appointment. |
| And, what about your calls with Nina, your friend in Australia? I appreciate the time difference is a challenge, but you have spoken with her twice in the last month versus only a handful of times in the last year. |
| This is getting annoying. Same answer. By scheduling it. Before, we’d end each FaceTime with a general “talk soon,” and then months would go by. Now we pull out our calendars and schedule the next one for two weeks later, knowing that if something comes up, we may push it out a week. |
| So, take a similar approach to reaching out once a month to the people on your list. Maybe even pick a person for the next month, choose a specific day, and put it on your calendar versus having it on a monthly “to-do” list. |
| I’m feeling a bit foolish because that’s an incredibly simple idea, but a good one. I have so many things on my “to-do” list, but rarely put any of them on my calendar. That alone will make it a high priority. |
| Remember, we live in a world of email and text messages, so anything handwritten is special. But, it does not have to be two pages long, although that might become a keepsake. |
| Funny you mention that, as I recently received an email from Levenger about the lost art of the love letter. And although their intention may have been romantic, I couldn’t help but think a handwritten note, whoever the recipient, shows you care enough about them to put pen to paper. |
| I received the same email, but saw it as marketing their selection of pens and other potential Valentine’s Day gifts. But, it did remind me I needed to order more Circa products. |
| I guess that’s one way to celebrate Valentine’s Day. |
| Well, if it makes you feel better, in January, I sent a few dear friends some heart-shaped gingersnap cookies. |
| If it were anyone else, I’d say how thoughtful. But with you … what’s the real story? |
| In December, a business associate sent me a box of beautifully packaged gingersnap cookies. It included a note stating all proceeds support The Center for Pursuit, which promotes the pursuit of choice, growth, and independence for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities, autism, or similar conditions. When I went to order some as gifts, they were all sold out. When I checked again in January, I saw they were back in stock and even had limited edition heart-shaped ones. |
| Now that makes sense. Did you even try the cookies? |
| Yes, and they were delicious, so I immediately gave them to the guys downstairs to avoid overindulging. |
| Of course you did. So now that you did something sweet (well, technically, gingersnap cookies aren’t sweet) in December and January, what are your plans for February? |
| You forget, reaching out to people every month is your resolution. Not mine. |
Want to read other columns? Here's a list.
Were you like Red and shocked when the actor Chadwick Boseman died at the age of 43 after battling colon cancer for years? Cancer isn’t only for older people, and recent studies show more people under 50 are getting cancer. (Doctors aren’t sure why but suspect it may be due to less physical activity, more highly processed foods, and new toxins.) That’s why cancer screenings are more important than ever!
February may be Cancer Prevention Month – but we need to do it all year! Every year. And is why we’re rerunning last year’s post …
| I know that cancer isn’t the “death sentence” it used to be when we were growing up, but it’s still a very scary word. Especially if it’s heard “close to home”. |
| When we were young, the word was rarely said. And if it was, it was whispered or referred to as the “ c-word.” |
| Kind of like when I had my two miscarriages. No one wanted even to acknowledge, let alone talk about, them. Which made it all the more difficult to get through it, although intellectually, I knew it was not uncommon. |
| Unfortunately, neither is cancer. It is the second-leading cause of death in the world, surpassed only by heart disease. But, at least, it is no longer a taboo subject. |
| Please don’t make this about numbers. It’s about people. Which you should know. I’m sure you remember when Daddy was diagnosed with parotid gland cancer , which luckily was treatable. And I’ve had skin cancer, although I was very fortunate, it was caught early and easily treated. |
| OK, I will not quote statistics, but it is important to realize that although cancer affects many people, that is all the more reason to try and prevent it. Or, catch it early. |
| Very early. I’m not sure I ever told you this, but when I had squamous cell carcinoma confirmed on my nose, it wasn’t because of an annual body screening. It was because I just thought something wasn’t right, even though I had gone to my family doctor and was told it wasn’t anything to worry about. |
| I thought you were always extremely conscientious about your annual cancer screenings, whether mammograms, Pap smears, or body checks. |
| The first two, absolutely, ever since I was in my 30s. But it was only when I went to a dermatologist to check my nose that I realized the importance of having full body screenings, too. Especially since redheads are more susceptible to skin cancer. So, yes, now I go on an annual basis, although it was on a six-month basis for several years after I had to have Mohs surgery . |
| Well, having routine cancer screenings, whether due to standard recommendations , because you think something is not right (after all, who knows your body better than you), or due to family history, has contributed to a decrease in cancer mortality rates . But, you do not want me to talk about numbers. |
| I don’t, but that’s great news! It just shows you how important it is to be proactive. |
| Exactly. And, as we learn more about cancer, we can adjust our lifestyles to lower the risk of getting cancer. For example, think of all the people who quit smoking to lower the risk of lung cancer. Of course, advances in medical treatment have made a huge difference. And, given my involvement with Make-A-Wish, I have watched with pure joy how the cancer death rate among kids and teens has dropped dramatically. |
| Wow, I had no idea! That really makes you stop and think, and makes me think about the cancer stories in movies and TV shows. And before you roll your eyes, and tell me my theater degree’s showing, it does make a difference when a subject like cancer is reflected in storylines. It lets audiences understand it on both an intellectual and emotional level. Which is very powerful. |
| It is. When you think of the movie “ Love Story,” unless you read the book, you did not know that Ali McGraw’s character had leukemia. But, around the same time, there was a “made for TV” pseudo-documentary/movie, “ Brian’s Song ,” which is the first movie I can remember that talked about cancer. It made it an acceptable topic of discussion. |
| I’m impressed you remember those movies. There’ve been so many since then, not to mention celebrities who tell their cancer stories. But cancer being in the mainstream makes it so much easier to discuss. Not just as a society but personally, as I’ve taken advantage of those opportunities to talk with the girls about the importance of early detection , something Mommy never did with me. |
| It was a very different time. Cancer was a “bad” word and potentially a “death” sentence. Today, the future is brighter, but it needs to be part of routine conversations. |
Even though Red’sthe warm and fuzzy one and Black’s extremely pragmatic, we both think of hearts on Valentine’s Day. Just not in quite the same way …
| Happy Valentine’s Day. And before you say anything, yes, I know you don’t celebrate holidays, so just humor me. |
| But, I do “celebrate” February being American Heart Month since heart disease is the leading cause of death – for both men and women. |
| Gee, that’s one way to turn a “fun” holiday into a real downer. Today’s supposed to be about letting people you love and care about know that you’re thinking of them. Think Hallmark cards, squishy teddy bears, chocolate hearts. |
| Do I have to? I rather think about eating well and exercising. I would think you would want to make sure you are around for the people you care about. |
| I do, and the irony is that I know what to do . I just can’t find the motivation to keep it going for more than a few days. But when it comes to eating well and exercising, nothing seems to deter you. |
| Because every morning, I walk into a large closet filled with size 2 clothing. |
| That’s funny. |
| It is the truth. I have always been a clothes horse. Now, decades later, I have a significant investment hanging in my closet. And, since almost everything is timeless and classic, I would be extremely annoyed if it no longer fit. |
| Well, even if that’s something us “mere mortals” can’t relate to, at least it keeps you motivated. I just don’t have anything like that in my life. |
| Really? I can name two things. |
| Well, I’m not sure Natasha and Sawyer would want to be referred to as “things”, but I see your point. I think I did a better job staying fit when they were younger and truly needed me every day. Plus, back when I was cooking for them, I was more focused on healthy eating. |
| Those are excuses. Are you saying that now that they no longer need you as cook and chauffeur, they also do not need your life experience and unconditional love? Especially as they face the challenges of adulthood. |
| Ok, now I don’t know whether to feel guilty or sad because I’m not taking good enough care of myself to always be there for them. At least, if I’m lucky, for the next 30 or 40 years. |
| How about stop being so dramatic and just start taking better care of yourself? Do you remember the airplane and oxygen mask analogy? |
| Absolutely. It was one of your more clever trick questions. You asked me if I was on a plane with the girls and we lost altitude, causing the oxygen masks to drop, would I first put the mask on myself or the girls. I answered, “The girls, of course.” You then pointed out that if I didn’t take care of myself first, I wouldn’t be in a position to help them. |
| And everyone else that might either need you or want to have you around for a long time. But, it is your call … you can make smart decisions now or regret it later. |
| Well, that’s brutally honest. But it has motivated me to go for a walk and think about how I’m going to not only begin, but maintain, a “new and improved” lifestyle. I guess, in many ways, I’m now saying Happy Valentine’s Day to myself, not you. |
| Mission accomplished. |
Are you taking the Dry January challenge and not having any alcohol for the month? Or, maybe you plan to drink less (but not nothing), which makes it Damp January. Or, maybe this is the first you’ve heard of it. (If so, there’s still time to start!)
Well, nothing much has changed from our approach to Dry January last year, except the one who had started drinking more last year is continuing the trend …
|
I keep
getting emails about where to go for
mocktails. I know alcohol-free cocktails, like Virgin
Margaritas, have been around for a while, but I’d never heard that term before. Do you think it has to do with
New Year’s resolutions? |
| It can if any of your resolutions are to lose weight, save money, sleep better. Or, drink less. Psychologically, January is the month when we “reset”, so a UK-based organization, Alcohol Change UK , started Dry January , where you abstain from drinking alcohol. |
| Perfect timing since many people shop, eat, and drink more than usual over the holidays. |
| I know you used to drink a glass of Cold Duck on New Year’s Eve, a tradition going back to our childhood, but that hardly counts as drinking. But, I have always wondered why you rarely drink, but never asked. |
| That may be the only thing you haven’t asked me. It isn’t for any moral or health reasons; it’s because, even many decades later, I still have vivid memories of overdoing it at a fraternity dance at college. Although lately, I’ve been drinking more than normal. |
| For you, that means more than one drink … a year. |
| Very funny, but pretty much true. However, after visiting Tennessee Hills Distillery in the fall, I did develop a taste for their flavored rum. So, between the ones I brought home and the bottles of Moscato that Natasha had delivered to me by Drizly as a surprise holiday gift, I’ve had more to drink this holiday season than ever before. |
| Well, I drank more this year, too. But, that is because, during COVID, I went over a year without a drink. For years, I used to go out to dinner several times a week and would always have a drink or two, but now do not go out as often. Combine that with a lack of dating, and my alcohol consumption is almost non-existent. |
| But your condo has a pantry that you converted into a beautiful bar with all those liquor bottles on display. And you’ve collected wine for years. |
| Yes, it looks enticing, but I do not drink alone. Never have. But, if I did, I would probably need to hide the liquor, or put yellow “caution tape” in front of the bar during Dry January. |
| That’s funny, but do you really think that people can go cold turkey for an entire month? That seems like a long time if you’re used to drinking on a regular basis. |
|
Yes. Besides
the fact many
bars
are taking advantage
of Dry January to offer customers something
new and different
versus just alcohol-free versions of traditional
cocktails, the demand for nonalcoholic beverages continues to increase as more people
prioritize healthier lifestyles. Not to
mention, many people now feel less social pressure to drink.
|
| Please don’t start quoting statistics and studies! But don’t you think, come February, everyone will just go back to their “normal” habits? |
| Since you do not want me to mention any of the science, or the fact people are already drinking less , I will come at it another way. If once you start Dry January, you experience the health benefits, including more energy, why would you go back to your old habits? |
| Because it’s a habit? Sorry, I couldn’t resist. But good points, especially as we all know drinking can lead to health problems . Not to mention the risks of driving under the influence of alcohol. But I’d think there’s still some peer pressure to drink socially. |
| As more people are trying Dry January, or at least are aware of it, the more acceptable it becomes. And, the easier it is to find others to support you. Although sometimes you may need to avoid those people who do not. |
| Well, I’ve seen you drink this month. And you can’t blame it on me! What’s your excuse? |
| Dry January is not about having a perfect score. It is about reevaluating your relationship with alcohol. And, taking a night off does not mean the end of the effort. It just means it may be a Damp January. |