| It is February, so I suppose we should do something with a Valentine’s Day theme. Which is too warm and fuzzy for me, so you are on your own. |
| You’re not getting off the hook that easily! Although, as the most pragmatic and non-emotional person I know, I doubt that you’ll have anything of “romantic” value to say. |
| Well, I could talk about the business aspects of sending flowers, heart-shaped boxes of chocolate, and remembering to tell people you love that you love them – which, by the way, should NOT require a holiday. |
| You’re right. Maybe I do need to write this on my own. Especially since there’s nothing wrong with using Valentine’s Day as a reminder to tell people you’re thinking of them. |
| I thought that was one of your New Year’s resolutions – to reach out to people you have not spoken to in a while – whether friends or distant family. Or, even new acquaintances. |
| It was. And I loved your idea to pick one person each month to reach out to – whether by phone, Zoom, email, or even a handwritten note, so that by year-end, I’ll have touched the lives of 12 people. |
| Let me guess. You had it to do on your January “to-do” list, and it never happened. |
| Exactly. So, instead of feeling motivated, I feel defeated. |
| I am confident you wished lots of people “Happy New Year,” so that counts for January, and you still have time to send Valentine’s Day wishes, so you are good until March. You are on a roll, so keep up the good work. |
| You definitely look at things differently than I do. But I have February covered, as when I was at HEB buying Valentine’s Day cards for the girls, I bought one for Lisa, my best friend since grade school. She was just made a partner at her law firm, and instead of a congratulations card, I found the perfect Valentine’s Day card that talked about friendship. And I took the time to add a heartfelt, pun intended, message of congratulations. |
| Maybe you should stock up on Valentine’s Day cards and then use them all year long for an assortment of purposes. |
| Well, that sounds good, but I’m afraid it will fall by the wayside, along with so many other good ideas I’ve had over the years. |
| That sounds like a defeatist attitude. Explain how you manage to go to the gym at the same time every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, but cannot reach out to one “special” person during the month. |
| That’s because I finally listened to you and put it on my calendar and treat it like a doctor’s appointment. |
| And, what about your calls with Nina, your friend in Australia? I appreciate the time difference is a challenge, but you have spoken with her twice in the last month versus only a handful of times in the last year. |
| This is getting annoying. Same answer. By scheduling it. Before, we’d end each FaceTime with a general “talk soon,” and then months would go by. Now we pull out our calendars and schedule the next one for two weeks later, knowing that if something comes up, we may push it out a week. |
| So, take a similar approach to reaching out once a month to the people on your list. Maybe even pick a person for the next month, choose a specific day, and put it on your calendar versus having it on a monthly “to-do” list. |
| I’m feeling a bit foolish because that’s an incredibly simple idea, but a good one. I have so many things on my “to-do” list, but rarely put any of them on my calendar. That alone will make it a high priority. |
| Remember, we live in a world of email and text messages, so anything handwritten is special. But, it does not have to be two pages long, although that might become a keepsake. |
| Funny you mention that, as I recently received an email from Levenger about the lost art of the love letter. And although their intention may have been romantic, I couldn’t help but think a handwritten note, whoever the recipient, shows you care enough about them to put pen to paper. |
| I received the same email, but saw it as marketing their selection of pens and other potential Valentine’s Day gifts. But, it did remind me I needed to order more Circa products. |
| I guess that’s one way to celebrate Valentine’s Day. |
| Well, if it makes you feel better, in January, I sent a few dear friends some heart-shaped gingersnap cookies. |
| If it were anyone else, I’d say how thoughtful. But with you … what’s the real story? |
| In December, a business associate sent me a box of beautifully packaged gingersnap cookies. It included a note stating all proceeds support The Center for Pursuit, which promotes the pursuit of choice, growth, and independence for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities, autism, or similar conditions. When I went to order some as gifts, they were all sold out. When I checked again in January, I saw they were back in stock and even had limited edition heart-shaped ones. |
| Now that makes sense. Did you even try the cookies? |
| Yes, and they were delicious, so I immediately gave them to the guys downstairs to avoid overindulging. |
| Of course you did. So now that you did something sweet (well, technically, gingersnap cookies aren’t sweet) in December and January, what are your plans for February? |
| You forget, reaching out to people every month is your resolution. Not mine. |
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It may seem odd to talk about footprints in the snow when most of us are experiencing record heat. But, as we all go through our busy days, it is easy to overlook how the steps we take in life, whether intentional or unplanned, good or bad, lead us to where we are today. And, while it is easy to focus on the past, the future is an untrodden path, waiting for our next step …
Back in 2004, I met an older couple participating in a Ferrari rally, and after a deep conversation over a long lunch, they became dear friends. It was an event that would change my life in many ways, and several months later, shortly after my husband “surprised” me with a divorce, the husband sent me an email that so moved me that I put it in my “Blue Book”. (A Circa planner with a blue leather cover, hence the name, that includes not only my calendars but also a section with a few things I re-read on a regular basis.)
Last month, he passed away. I always made a point of letting them know that “Footprints” had become an important part of my life. They are words to live by. And, in honor of my dear friend, who is loved and missed, I want to share that email. With no edits … as we do not get to edit our lives …
In the spring of 1972 Sue and I had been married for 18 months and we were dissatisfied with our existence. After some serious soul searching we decided to make a radical change in our lives. Both of us had read a book by the author Louis Bromfield that rhapsodized about the joys of farm life. We were young and adventurous, and we did not realize that Mr. Bromfield was independently wealthy, he was in fact a famous Hollywood screenwriter and not even remotely dependent on farming for a living.
We sold all of the extras that we had accumulated such as our house, my AA Fuel Dragster, Dragster Trailer, and miscellaneous spare engine and associated parts, cashed in my life insurance and moved to a small farm in North Central Missouri twelve miles South of the community of Marshall. We had chosen that latitude carefully reasoning that the land around us needed to change as much as possible during the year if we were going to stay in one place all the time. Marshall, Missouri has four distinct and nearly equal seasons with a long Spring and Fall, a real contrast to the monotony of Houston, Texas. The first year of our Missouri residence we saw the temperature swing one hundred and thirty four degrees, from a high in late July of 106º to a low in January of 1973 of 28º below zero. The land changed around us indeed.
One of my real surprises was learning how much I liked cold weather. I had never really lived anywhere where it snowed very often. I was delighted when we had snows during the night that formed ice crystals in the surface so that when the sun came up in the morning the snow sparkled as if there there was a diamond studded white blanket draped across the fields.
One morning in that first winter I left the house early while I was waiting for the coffee to finish brewing. It had snowed about six inches during the night but dawn broke on a cloudless sky with the blue that only a cold clear morning sky has. I wandered with the rising sun at my back to the top of the closest ridge. When I reached the crest I could see before me a gently undulating pristine white scene with only the sounds of the early morning birds to keep me company. It was a glorious day.
After a few moments I turned to leave and there in the otherwise unbroken white lay a path of solitary footprints. Dumbstruck I realized that I was looking at a metaphor for my life, that each step that I had ever taken led precisely to where I was standing. I turned back around and looked at the future, unmarked waiting for my next footprint and I had an epiphany. If I wanted the footprints of the future to go in a certain direction, or to have a particular shape then it was up to me to make each individual step count. The footprints of the future would leave a history of my choices. That morning in the snow my life changed and I started the footprints that surely lead to where I am standing now.
In time I came to understand that each footprint was necessary to help me reach this moving destination, each misstep, each stumble, each mistake and fall, each heartache and all the joys have made me into the man I am today.
I don't regret a single one.
Drive carefully my friend, the future is before you, the footprints of the past cannot be changed.
To say that this summer has been hot is an understatement, but summer has always been a season to enjoy longer days, the slower pace, and summer eating. And just because we’re being bombarded with pumpkin-flavored everything, indicating Fall’s just around the corner, it doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy the summer way of life.
When the summer started, Red struggled to balance the feeling that she should be getting more done with the “extra hours” vs. wanting to enjoy more leisure time. Of course, Black couldn’t resist pointing out,
There are 24 hours in a day, regardless of season. The extra daylight makes you feel like you have more hours. Regardless, summer is a great time to rethink how you spend those “extra” hours.
So, even though the calendar may indicate we only have a few weeks left of summer, it’s not too late to think about summer hours … and how you can adjust your mindset. Which can last, well, forever.
To read our full conversation, which includes Black suggestion of possibly doing a cookbook (was she serious or merely being her typical sarcastic self?), click here.
| I know it wasn’t your kind of movie, but I can’t stop thinking about the Barbie movie. |
| It is if I look at it as a “research project” versus pure entertainment. |
| Of course, you did. But I do understand. I know Sawyer was very excited about going to the sneak preview the night before it officially opened, not only to be entertained but to watch it through the lens (pun intended) of her classes at Belmont since she’s majoring in Creative & Entertainment Industries. |
| I know she was excited to see it again with us. It is one of those movies where you will pick up on different things with each viewing. |
| So, does that mean you’re going to see it a second time? |
| Not sure. Once may have been Kenough. |
| Cute. Sawyer mentioned that she and a few of her friends tried to buy the tie-dye sweatshirt Ryan Gosling wears in the movie that says “I am Kenough,” and it’s sold out. |
| The movie has been a marketing machine and I am fascinated by all the co-branding. And, how Mattel is not only trying to change how we look at Barbie, but also rebranding itself. |
|
Unlike you, I want to
enjoy movies. Although the theater major
in me can’t help but critique them. But I’m
not the least bit interested in the business side. |
| Well, the actors and writers strikes may change that. Regardless, all I was going to say is that most people think of Mattel as a toy company, and with the release of “Barbie,” it is becoming more Disney-like in that it is an intellectual property (IP) company managing franchises. That also happens to sell stuff. Lots of stuff. |
| I guess that explains why it’s a full-blown Hollywood movie with big-name movie stars. And directed by Greta Gerwig, a “serious” and well-respected director. But what made you go see it? Growing up, I don’t remember seeing you play with Barbie dolls. I know I didn’t. |
| Does hanging out with the boys next door and tying firecrackers to Barbie dolls count? But, I do have one Barbie doll pristine in her original box. |
| Are you messing with me? Or are you going to say it was an investment purchase? |
| Neither. When I was racing the Ferrari Challenge, my crew gave me Ferrari Barbie as a gift. I put her on the shelf next to my various racing awards and paraphernalia. |
|
Did they mean it as a compliment or a gag gift? |
| Hard to say, as I was the only woman racing the series. But, I did not ask. What was important was how I saw it, not how they did. And, that is why I wanted to see the movie. I had been reading how Gerwig was determined it would not be some “fluff” piece but a work of art and a commentary on society and women. It is an impressive objective, and not one you would associate with Barbie. |
| Based on the records being broken at the box office, millions of people wanted to see it. Although I’d guess most just wanted to be entertained. |
| I was impressed with how Gerwig had something for all women – whether an anti-Barbie feminist or a Barbie fanatic. The real debate is her messaging about men and patriarchal societies. |
| And that’s just it. It’s about so much more than Barbie. It’s about society and its expectations of women. And men. Women’s expectations of women. Women’s and men’s expectations of each other. |
| I thought it was brilliant how Gerwig basically said, “Ken, welcome to our world,” when he started lamenting about feeling like a “second-class citizen” or being in a supporting role. |
| I know! But what I found so poignant was the scene towards the end of the movie when Ken is trying to explain to Barbie how he only exists because of her, and she tells him he needs to discover who he is, that he has an identity that’s not tied to being part of “Barbie and Ken.” |
| Do you think that is a generational thing? Do people still believe their identity is tied to their significant other? |
| Trust me, they do. And it’s not just women. The other day Sawyer told me about a guy friend of hers who had been in a relationship with one of her girlfriends. They recently broke up, and he’s having a really hard time letting go, admitting that he has “lost himself” in her. Sawyer told him he needed to see the movie because he’s Ken. |
| Interesting. I would not have thought to use the movie for relationship counseling. But, I would in terms of self-realization, especially Gloria’s monologue about the challenges of being a woman. |
| That really hit home. And although I totally support all the messaging, I do wish there weren’t quite so many. |
| In the movie? Or, in real life? |
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