If you had to live without hugs … would that make you sad or glad?
BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: How can something as simple as a hug elicit such incredibly different reactions; while it’s not surprising that Red thinks about hugs very differently than Black, it’s very surprising which one of them is supported by science.
Red’s a warm and fuzzy mom, so it goes without saying that hugs are an integral part of who she is. And how she raised her daughters. When her girls were young, she gave them lots and lots of hugs until Black, a self-declared non-hugger, pointed out that not everyone needs or wants a hug. Which, to this day, makes Red wonder,
How could I, a hug-lover, have given birth to two daughters, with neither “inheriting” the hugging gene? But having a non-hugger as my sister, I’ve realized that doesn’t mean they don’t love me, just that they don’t want hugs. Even if I think they need them.
The curious thing is, even as a non-hugger, Black will acknowledge that hugs represent affection, concern, love, appreciation, or sometimes just the joy of seeing someone. And although she’s fascinated by the science behind why some people hate hugs, she’s also read studies (she even sent this one to Red) about their health benefits, including how they can relieve stress.
Red was amused how COVID gave Black an excuse to avoid hugging for years, but now, unless you know her, you might think she’s a germophobe or being overly cautious. But it does beg the question, if hugging is good for you, why would Black avoid it,
We all know what we should do but often ignore what is best for us. I have always felt hugging seems selfish in that it is usually the person who needs a hug who insists on hugging. However, sometimes I will compromise and do it for the other person, so I guess you could say my approach to hugs is … it is better to give than to receive. Even on National Hugging Day.
Even though Red’sthe warm and fuzzy one and Black’s extremely pragmatic, we both think of hearts on Valentine’s Day. Just not in quite the same way …
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Happy Valentine’s Day. And before you say anything, yes, I know you don’t celebrate holidays, so just humor me. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | But, I do “celebrate” February being American Heart Month since heart disease is the leading cause of death – for both men and women. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Gee, that’s one way to turn a “fun” holiday into a real downer. Today’s supposed to be about letting people you love and care about know that you’re thinking of them. Think Hallmark cards, squishy teddy bears, chocolate hearts. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Do I have to? I rather think about eating well and exercising. I would think you would want to make sure you are around for the people you care about. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | I do, and the irony is that I know what to do . I just can’t find the motivation to keep it going for more than a few days. But when it comes to eating well and exercising, nothing seems to deter you. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Because every morning, I walk into a large closet filled with size 2 clothing. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | That’s funny. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | It is the truth. I have always been a clothes horse. Now, decades later, I have a significant investment hanging in my closet. And, since almost everything is timeless and classic, I would be extremely annoyed if it no longer fit. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Well, even if that’s something us “mere mortals” can’t relate to, at least it keeps you motivated. I just don’t have anything like that in my life. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Really? I can name two things. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Well, I’m not sure Natasha and Sawyer would want to be referred to as “things”, but I see your point. I think I did a better job staying fit when they were younger and truly needed me every day. Plus, back when I was cooking for them, I was more focused on healthy eating. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Those are excuses. Are you saying that now that they no longer need you as cook and chauffeur, they also do not need your life experience and unconditional love? Especially as they face the challenges of adulthood. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Ok, now I don’t know whether to feel guilty or sad because I’m not taking good enough care of myself to always be there for them. At least, if I’m lucky, for the next 30 or 40 years. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | How about stop being so dramatic and just start taking better care of yourself? Do you remember the airplane and oxygen mask analogy? |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Absolutely. It was one of your more clever trick questions. You asked me if I was on a plane with the girls and we lost altitude, causing the oxygen masks to drop, would I first put the mask on myself or the girls. I answered, “The girls, of course.” You then pointed out that if I didn’t take care of myself first, I wouldn’t be in a position to help them. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | And everyone else that might either need you or want to have you around for a long time. But, it is your call … you can make smart decisions now or regret it later. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Well, that’s brutally honest. But it has motivated me to go for a walk and think about how I’m going to not only begin, but maintain, a “new and improved” lifestyle. I guess, in many ways, I’m now saying Happy Valentine’s Day to myself, not you. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Mission accomplished. |
Is it ok to ask ... When did you first learn about Black History Month?
It’s 2024 … you wouldn’t think there’d be so much controversy over Black history, which makes Black History Month even more important. We loved it when the question below was asked of us two years ago, so we’re rerunning it, but found a new article about little-known facts about Black History Month we found very interesting. Let us know what you think …
Red assets.rebelmouse.io |
I’m a little embarrassed to admit that it was only a few
years ago that I learned about February being
Black History Month, and that it was founded to
shine a light on
accomplishments
that might otherwise go unnoticed and unappreciated. I’ve always loved history and wish that I had
been taught more of this in school as I strongly believe that if we all were
exposed to people from different races, ethnicities, religions (comparative
religions was one of my favorite college classes), it would go a long to
helping us appreciate those differences.
Besides history, I love movies, so I love when the combination teaches us something unexpected. For example, one of my favorite movies, Hidden Figures, tells the stories of three amazing Black women who were mathematicians working at NASA in the 1960s who truly broke boundaries, defied expectations, and gave us a window into their lives. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io |
I like to consider myself a lifelong learner and love to
research things that pique my interest or intrigue me, so I was fascinated by
the
history of Black History
Month
, and its evolution from Negro History Week. The initial week was chosen because it included the birthdays of both
Abraham Lincoln
(February 12) and the abolitionist Frederick Douglass (February 14), men who were already celebrated by the Black community, and
who encouraged all Americans to study the little-known history of Blacks.
As an interesting sidenote, Douglass was also a lifelong supporter of women’s rights and died just hours after attending a meeting with suffragists (including his friend Susan B. Anthony). |
Are you taking the Dry January challenge and not having any alcohol for the month? Or, maybe you plan to drink less (but not nothing), which makes it Damp January. Or, maybe this is the first you’ve heard of it. (If so, there’s still time to start!)
Well, nothing much has changed from our approach to Dry January last year, except the one who had started drinking more last year is continuing the trend …
red head assets.rebelmouse.io |
I keep
getting emails about where to go for
mocktails. I know alcohol-free cocktails, like Virgin
Margaritas, have been around for a while, but I’d never heard that term before. Do you think it has to do with
New Year’s resolutions? |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | It can if any of your resolutions are to lose weight, save money, sleep better. Or, drink less. Psychologically, January is the month when we “reset”, so a UK-based organization, Alcohol Change UK , started Dry January , where you abstain from drinking alcohol. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Perfect timing since many people shop, eat, and drink more than usual over the holidays. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | I know you used to drink a glass of Cold Duck on New Year’s Eve, a tradition going back to our childhood, but that hardly counts as drinking. But, I have always wondered why you rarely drink, but never asked. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | That may be the only thing you haven’t asked me. It isn’t for any moral or health reasons; it’s because, even many decades later, I still have vivid memories of overdoing it at a fraternity dance at college. Although lately, I’ve been drinking more than normal. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | For you, that means more than one drink … a year. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Very funny, but pretty much true. However, after visiting Tennessee Hills Distillery in the fall, I did develop a taste for their flavored rum. So, between the ones I brought home and the bottles of Moscato that Natasha had delivered to me by Drizly as a surprise holiday gift, I’ve had more to drink this holiday season than ever before. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Well, I drank more this year, too. But, that is because, during COVID, I went over a year without a drink. For years, I used to go out to dinner several times a week and would always have a drink or two, but now do not go out as often. Combine that with a lack of dating, and my alcohol consumption is almost non-existent. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | But your condo has a pantry that you converted into a beautiful bar with all those liquor bottles on display. And you’ve collected wine for years. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Yes, it looks enticing, but I do not drink alone. Never have. But, if I did, I would probably need to hide the liquor, or put yellow “caution tape” in front of the bar during Dry January. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | That’s funny, but do you really think that people can go cold turkey for an entire month? That seems like a long time if you’re used to drinking on a regular basis. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io |
Yes. Besides
the fact many
bars
are taking advantage
of Dry January to offer customers something
new and different
versus just alcohol-free versions of traditional
cocktails, the demand for nonalcoholic beverages continues to increase as more people
prioritize healthier lifestyles. Not to
mention, many people now feel less social pressure to drink.
|
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Please don’t start quoting statistics and studies! But don’t you think, come February, everyone will just go back to their “normal” habits? |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Since you do not want me to mention any of the science, or the fact people are already drinking less , I will come at it another way. If once you start Dry January, you experience the health benefits, including more energy, why would you go back to your old habits? |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Because it’s a habit? Sorry, I couldn’t resist. But good points, especially as we all know drinking can lead to health problems . Not to mention the risks of driving under the influence of alcohol. But I’d think there’s still some peer pressure to drink socially. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | As more people are trying Dry January, or at least are aware of it, the more acceptable it becomes. And, the easier it is to find others to support you. Although sometimes you may need to avoid those people who do not. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Well, I’ve seen you drink this month. And you can’t blame it on me! What’s your excuse? |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Dry January is not about having a perfect score. It is about reevaluating your relationship with alcohol. And, taking a night off does not mean the end of the effort. It just means it may be a Damp January. |