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So, I had to smile when Sawyer came to visit us at Mom’s estate sale. And even though I had seen her only a few hours before, I gave her a hug. |
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Yes, you make it rather obvious that you are warm and fuzzy. And, a hugger. |
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But what made me laugh was when she greeted you by acknowledging that you weren’t a hugger. Now there’s an understatement. |
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No, it is merely a fact. |
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I never realized, though, just how much both Natasha and Sawyer are like you. Although they begrudgingly let me hug them, they’d both be just as happy with a handshake. If that. |
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Maybe a fist bump? |
red head
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Black
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Black
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The good news is that I don’t take it personally, although I’d be lying if I didn’t say I wish they were huggers. Regardless, it reminds me of how we used to greet people at business meetings in the “good ole days” when we actually had in-person meetings. If it was people we’d worked with before, I’d be giving everyone hello hugs while you’d be standing there, with your body language “screaming” … “Can we just get straight to business?” |
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Body language can be so efficient. But, it is a business meeting. |
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But you’re the same way even at family dinners and social events. And on the rare occasion that you do give someone a hug, I always think the recipient should remember it because it’s a really big deal. And sometimes, I even point that out. |
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Which usually makes me roll my eyes. |
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Hey, I’m just trying to warn them not to get used to it, or even expect it again, so they appreciate it. |
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My eye-rolling is not about you; it is about the person wanting to hug me. Especially when they know me, because they must know that hugging is not something I would ever initiate. |
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To be honest, I don’t think people think about it. It’s just a warm and welcoming gesture. |
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You are right about the thinking part. After all, if someone knows I do not like to hug, but still wants to hug me, that seems rather selfish. |
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I think that’s a bit of an overstatement. If you said to them, “Please do not hug me,” and they chose to ignore you, that might be considered selfish. Not to mention, risky. |
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Sounds like a personal problem. If they are that insistent on hugging me, then it seems to me that they need the hug. |
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Well, if you ask me, the whole topic of hugging has gotten way too complicated. Especially since the pandemic. But I can still remember watching one of Sawyer’s volleyball coaches starting to give her a hug and then stopping. |
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Did he suddenly remember that she is not much of a hugger? |
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No, it was because it was the beginning of the #MeToo era, and he was being mindful (my word, not his) that his players were teenage girls. And although he knew Sawyer, and me, very well, I guess he thought it was better to err on the safe side. |
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The world has changed. But, it does make things more complicated for huggers. |
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Sawyer may not be a hugger, but she does make concessions to hugging much easier than you or Natasha, who obviously hate it and would probably outlaw it if possible. |
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Now you are the one making the overstatement. I do not hate the concept of hugs. And, there is science behind the importance of hugs, including how they can relieve stress. |
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I was just waiting for your non-emotional perspective on hugs. |
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And, I respect what they should represent – affection, concern, love, appreciation, or just the joy of seeing someone. For some people, it is easier than words. |
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That’s an interesting perspective. And makes me think about how you sometimes will end an email by writing, “With an electronic hug.” It surprised me the first time I saw it, although I immediately liked it. So much so that I now often use it myself. |
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I know. I should charge you a royalty fee. |
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Cute. But how did you come up with that phrase anyway? |
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I know that emails can be very impersonal, and as much as I love bullet points and keeping things very factual, sometimes the recipient needs something more. An “electronic hug” seemed to be a good compromise. |
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Well, I love it. As ironic as it is coming from someone who hates to give an actual, in-person, up close and personal, hug. |
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Actually, I sometimes do give hugs to people I think genuinely need it. I just hate getting them. |
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You didn’t seem to mind the night before Sawyer left for college, and she got out of the car when we were dropping you off to give you a goodbye hug. |
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I think I was in shock. |
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Well, I know I was … |
Red
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Want to read other columns? Here's a list.
They may not be the most meaningful holidays, but they may be some of the most fun, so we’re rerunning this post. Of course, Red thinks popcorn is nothing to be taken lightly, since it gives her such happiness. But even Black has favorites (scroll to the bottom). What would be yours?
| It’s January, and everyone’s probably tired of reading about New Year’s resolutions. |
| Not me. Since I never make them, I never feel the need to read about them. |
| Of course, you don’t. So, what should we write about? |
| How about that we celebrate some of our favorite things in January? |
So many “National Days” in January are fun (we’ve written about them over the years) and remind us of some of our favorite things. (Can you pick which are Red’s favorite holidays and which are Black’s?) And whether or not you make resolutions, it’s always important to have a sense of humor and enjoy the simpler things in life …
- NATIONAL CLEAN YOUR DESK DAY: Resolutions Aside … A Clean Desk? Is That Even Possible???
- NATIONAL BAGEL DAY: Not A Trick Question ... Who Doesn’t Love Bagels?
- NATIONAL POPCORN DAY: Do People Really “Celebrate” Popcorn? Red Does!
- NATIONAL HUGGING DAY: Think Before … Hugging?!
- NATIONAL BACKWARD DAY: Celebrating Having Fun … And Success … By Being Backward?
Answer: Red’s favorites are Bagels, Popcorn, and Hugging. Black’s are Clean Desk, Bagels, and Backward.
The more things change — the more they stay the same. Red will be seeing in the new year with an old movie (and some late-night popcorn), while Black will be fast asleep (or possibly working) as 2025 turns to 2026. So, we smiled when we re-read our New Year’s Eve post from 2022 (see below) …
The memories remain. The only difference? This year, when we wish you Happy New Year, we’ve updated it to … and may 2026 be filled with health and happiness, love and laughter.
| I remember when I was growing up and old enough to stay home alone (long before the movie “Home Alone”) on New Year’s Eve. Our parents may have gone out to celebrate, but I had the perfect evening. Before they left, they’d get me my favorite takeout Chinese food (again, long before the days of food delivery services), and I’d savor the egg drop soup with wontons and a large container of pork fried rice, knowing that I didn’t have to share with anyone. Then, I’d settle in for a night of old movies on TV, only taking a short break to watch the ballcome down in Times Square, before going back to watching movies for hours. (Long after my parents had come home and gone to sleep.) Fast forward more decades than I care to admit, and my favorite way to celebrate New Year’s Eve is pretty much the same. Except now, what would be even more perfect would be to have my daughters home with me. |
| I started to say that Red has always needed to get a life, but the reality is that I understand why she likes a quiet New Year’s Eve and has created her own “special” tradition. Over the years, I would celebrate New Year’s Eve by going out to a “special” dinner with my spouse or significant other (if applicable) and dear friends. The funny thing is the older we get, the earlier we return home. We tell ourselves it is because we do not want to be on the roads with the drunks, but that does not explain why we all admit we usually are asleep well before midnight. |
Whether celebrating by yourself or with others … whether you find yourself feeling extra warm and fuzzy and reminiscing at midnight, like Red, or being pragmatically optimistic, like Black, who will raise a glass and toast her friends as well as the promise and hope that the new year offers us all … we want to wish you,
Happy New Year! And may 2023 be filled with health and happiness, love and laughter.