It was bad enough that we couldn't take our mom for her traditional Mother's Day lobster dinner at The Palm (although we never celebrate it on the actual day as restaurants are too crowded). Thanks to the pandemic, restaurants were either closed or take-out only. Given our mom is in her 90s and has pre-existing conditions, she was distancing herself from the rest of the world and basically secluded at home. (Something, by the way, she's definitely not happy about.)
We never dreamed, however, that …
six months later we'd have to forego her November birthday celebration, which is the same lobster dinner at the same restaurant. Clearly for our Mom, going out to dinner at a nice restaurant with her daughters has always been a special treat and something she looks forward to (or maybe it's just the lobster). While, for Red, going out to eat used to be a fun and relaxing escape from cooking at home, now it's a risk-reward decision filled with anxiety and stress. And always the same decision, "Not worth it." For Black, it's always been a "social thing" as she's had a long-standing (decades long!) Saturday night date with her best friends, John and Diana. Now, they visit over the phone and laugh about how much lower their AmEx bills are every month.
From a strictly pragmatic perspective – How do you maintain social distancing from anyone not in your household when you go out to eat? Obviously, you have to take off your mask to eat and drink (although there are masks that accommodate straws). Is it even feasible to go out to eat with people not in your "personal bubble"? Climate and weather permitting, how safe is it to eat outdoors?
But it's the emotional implications that make it so difficult. We're now in the midst of what Red calls the "silly season" where dining out and holiday parties have always been such a big part of celebrating the season. The pandemic has been with us for almost a year and we just want a break. A holiday break. So, now what?
The answers will be different for everyone, as we all have our own way of looking at risk-reward. Most of us are already struggling with holidays that are celebrated with food, family, and friends. Maybe if we focus on the holiday spirit, recognizing we're all facing the same challenges, and try to keep things in perspective, knowing next year will be better. And mix in a little humor …
Got your mask? Check. Have your battle plan ready. Check. Ready to keep distance. Check. Going into battle? No, just going out to eat.
P.S. – For those of you wondering about Mom's lobster dinners, we did a belated take-out for her Mother's Day dinner and she said it was the best lobster she had ever eaten. Full stop. And she's looking forward to the birthday dinner. Maybe, it is just the food.
Red was your typical straight-A student, getting great grades starting in kindergarten straight through to graduating from college.(Black’s grades were less than stellar, plus she was a discipline problem – some things never change.) And then, excited and proud of herself, Red thought she was done. Black, on the other hand, thinks of education as something that never ends, and much to the chagrin of students, will tell them,
Homework never ends; it just is called “research” when you get older.
Over the last few years, Red has come around to Black’s way of thinking and realizes it’s a mindset. And that education is more than the classes you take in school.
September is when students of all ages are back in school, but it’s also National Literacy Month, which is about so much more than reading and writing. Literacy includes things like Digital Literacy, Financial Literacy, Health Literacy, and even News Literacy. (As the linked Conversation Starters indicate, Red was the “poster child” of a highly educated person who lacked many of these basic literacy skills.)
So, we challenge you to find a topic that interests you or one you could benefit from learning (personally or professionally) and start doing your homework.
And while not a homework assignment, we figure if you’re still reading, you might be interested in some of our favorite “lifelong learning” posts (many of which helped Red learn about learning in a whole new way).
For many of us, Labor Day marks the end of summer (temperatures aside), and as we switch from a summer holiday mindset back to the “real world”, we can’t help but feel overwhelmed.
You don’t need us to tell you how falling back into a work or school routine can be challenging, especially if you’re facing a backlog of tasks and responsibilities. And, if that wasn’t bad enough, the “silly season” is just around the corner. (Red has been seeing Halloween decorations since mid-July, which means Thanksgiving and all the winter holidays aren’t far behind.)
But you don’t need us to tell you why you feel overwhelmed; you need help dealing with being overwhelmed.
When our new website goes live next year, one of the major sections will be THE DAILY HELP, where you’ll find easy-to-implement tools to get your day back on track and feel more in control.
But that doesn’t help you … NOW. So, here are a handful of our favorite posts to help you deal with daily challenges we all face. (Red admits that she picked the ones she felt she needed to reread.)
- Black’s Time Management “Secret” ... Is Worth Repeating (Time Management)
- It's happened again ... I can’t see my desk there’s so much paper on it. Help! (Piles of Paper)
- How Do You Communicate? Blah-Blah-Blah Or Bullet Points? (Communication)
- Expect Reality, Not Perfection (Relationships)
- Don’t Confuse Time Alone With Time Away! (Stress)
P.S. – Wondering why we haven’t mentioned money? Well, stay tuned, as we’ll have a post dedicated to DOLLARS & SENSE in early November as we get closer to the holidays. (FYI, our subscribers get sneak peeks before we post online.)
| We’ve been posting new content on our website multiple times a week for what seems like forever, so it will be strange to only post a few times a month. |
| And, do not forget we also have been “feeding the beast” known as social media. But, if it makes you feel any better, we will still be issuing our newsletter every week and providing our followers with inside information on what the New Year will bring – a new website … and our new approach to Red & Black. |
| I’m so excited as it’s going to be fun, animated (in more ways than one), and help people take control of their lives vs. their life controlling them. Which, to some extent, is what we’ve always tried to do. |
| Yes, except our current site has almost too much information, and you do not know where to turn first. Or, where to go if you are looking for specific help. |
| I know when I first had my crisis, I turned to you, looking for you to tell me what to do. Instead, all I got was questions. Lots and lots of questions. But those questions were how you helped guide me. I think that’s why our book became a bestseller … because people could join me on my journey. |
| And, it was formatted so they could follow along versus trying to find the information they needed somewhere in the hundreds and hundreds of posts on this site. In trying to provide useful information, we inadvertently overwhelmed people. |
| As if life isn’t overwhelming enough! That’s why I’m excited about our new approach, although some things will never change … like all your sarcasm and unusual perspectives. Not to mention all your racing analogies. |
| Or, at the risk of sounding warm and fuzzy, which is your area of responsibility, our commitment to try and help people. |
| Isn’t this where you usually mentionhow, for years, our lawyers and accountants tried to dissuade us from focusing on philanthropic endeavors? They were fine when Neiman Marcus launched our book, as it was intended as the basis of a sitcom, but then the detours began, and we went from our first speaking engagement into the education and criminal justice worlds. |
| Life never goes as planned. But, hopefully, the next few months will as we focus on our rebrand and our new site. |
| And creating posts every other Thursday on select topics and themes – whether it’s the start of the “silly season” (I still cannot believe pumpkin spice “everything” is already here) or just the daily challenges of life. So, are we going to post sneak peeks of what the new Red & Black world will look like? |
| Excellent question. |
| That's not an answer. |
|
Then, I guess you will just have to wait and see
… |
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