| Thanksgiving’s my favorite holiday, although it’s hard because Natasha’s living in England. But I can’t wait for Sawyer to be home from college, and since she and her friends love our new (or at least new to us) pool table, I’m looking forward to them hanging out at our house. |
| That means there will be more people to enjoy your decorations throughout the house. Do you still put the big inflatable turkey out front? |
| Of course. He’s my favorite inflatable and has been on our front lawn since right after Halloween! If it was up to me, and the homeowners association wouldn’t send me a nasty note, I’d have him up year-round. And I don’t expect you to remember, but years ago, I pared down the number of decorations I put up inside the house. Just enough to make it festive, but not overwhelming in terms of set-up and take-down. |
| And, if I remember correctly, you also pared down your traditional Thanksgiving dinner. Or, at least, the homemade desserts. Are you going back to being excessive now that Sawyer may have friends over? |
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| I always make too much food, and this year will be no different, even though in the past, it was also so I could give Mom lots of leftovers. This year will be our first Thanksgiving with her gone. |
| I am sure it will hit you at strange moments throughout the day. Especially when it is time to deal with all the leftovers. |
| Well, it’s not like you’ll take them. You barely like any of it to begin with. |
| Look, I am not a fan of holidays and liked being able to use COVID as my excuse for staying home. And, even though I dislike turkey, I always enjoy the Honey Baked Ham and take a few slices home. |
| Technically, since you buy the ham and I merely pick it up and serve it, you should take all the leftover ham home. But since Sawyer and I both love it, we’re glad you don’t. |
| Using that logic, I should take home all the leftover pies I bring from Whole Foods. Even though I am not a fan of pies. |
| Well, everyone else loves them, and it takes away the guilt of me not making everyone’s favorite desserts. |
| I find it funny – you cook all day and even make multiple types of potatoes so everyone can have their favorite, yet feel guilty about store-bought pies that everyone loves. Years ago, I used to run away from home to avoid celebrating the holiday and never felt guilty. |
| I forgot about that, as it was before I moved to Texas. I never knew whether you were trying to avoid celebrating Thanksgiving or your birthday since they fall so close together. |
| Both. And, especially when my birthday fell on Thanksgiving. |
| This year your birthday falls on Black Friday, which seems so appropriate. Although, like every year, we’ll struggle to find something to get you. |
| I have given up trying to tell you that you do not have to do anything. |
| Yes, but you hit 65 this year. It’s a biggie. |
| Ok, then how about we celebrate by starting a new tradition, and deliver pies to your local nursing home or assisted living facility? It would be a great way to make me feel young. Or, at least, younger. |
| That’s funny. I used to bake cookies and brownies for the girls to give as Christmas gifts, but I’ve never thought about delivering them to total strangers. Plus, since Mom’s birthday was at the end of November, if we did it around Thanksgiving, it would be a great way to honor her memory. |
| Is that not the true spirit of Thanksgiving? People may debate its origins, but it is about giving thanks. The traditional feast “replicates” the Pilgrims celebrating their good fortune by sharing their food and crops with the Indians. |
| Says the woman who doesn’t cook. And never has people over to her home. |
| But, neither is required to appreciate what you have in your life and share it with others. |
| Good point. I think we sometimes get so wrapped up in the shopping and cooking that we forget the true meaning of Thanksgiving. |
| Which is why having meaningful traditions is important. They work as reminders. |
| Then I’m not sure I should admit one of my favorite Thanksgiving traditions. |
| Do I even want to know? |
| Probably not. I wake up, turn on “The Godfather” movie marathon on TV, and start cooking. I love the break from my normal routine and having the freedom to cook all day, coupled with the feeling that it means fall’s here, even if the weather’s still warm. |
| It sounds like you are appreciative of the day. So, that is a step in the right direction. Plus, the movies are about family. And, include family meals. |
| Yes, but even you, who I know loves to connect dots that seem to be unrelated, can’t tie the Corleones or The Godfather movies to the Pilgrims! |
| Really? But I believe, to paraphrase Don Vito Corleone, the Pilgrims made the Indians an offer they could not refuse. |
| Clever! Especially as that may be the most memorable line from the first Godfather movie. So, I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse … we’ll have Thanksgiving dinner late enough that you’ll have most of the day to work on Red & Black in uninterrupted peace and quiet. |
| Deal. And, I give thanks that you remember that is my Thanksgiving tradition. |
Want to read other columns? Here's a list.
Tonight is the first night of Chanukah (FYI, there are multiple "correct" spellings), and while Red may be celebrating the Festival of Lights with potato latkes (pancakes), when she lights the menorah to symbolize bringing light into darkness, she’ll be laughing at Black’s car analogy …
| At the risk of Black coming up with another potato analogy, for me, Chanukah's all about potato latkes. The childhood memories of our dad grating pounds and pounds of potatoes to the point where I'm not sure I could see our kitchen table, many decades later, my eldest daughter taste-testing latkes from an assortment of places. (I love to cook, but latkes are a lot of work.) Of course, the lighting of the menorah is also such a special part of the holiday celebration, whether the electric menorah that my parents had where you would "twist" each light bulb as the nights progressed or the more traditional menorah with candles that my daughters and I light each year (and never leave unattended). |
| I never cease to be amazed by the miracle of Chanukah (regardless of whether you spell it Chanukah or Hanukkah, or some other variation) and how the oil that was only supposed to last one day instead lasted for eight days. It is as if your cellphone indicated it is at 12% but lasts eight days. Or, if the gas gauge in your car indicates you have 25 miles left, but you are able to drive 200 miles. Sometimes things happen that defy logic, and that is where faith takes over. And, a belief in something bigger than all of us. |
Tomorrow is the start of Chanukah, the Festival of Lights, which celebrates hope and miracles – and who could not use hope and miracles?
Happy Chanukah!
Every year on #GivingTuesday, Red tells Black that she knows how important giving is – whether time or money – but, unlike Black, she doesn’t have a meaningful charity that’s been part of her life for decades. We often “repeat” the conversation below, but this year, Black suggested that Red use #GivingTuesday to think about what charity inspires her or holds special meaning, and then get involved. Making it personal often ends up making it a year-round passion rather than a one-off obligation.
But no matter how you approach charity, beware of potential scammers. And, if in doubt — check them out! (Black likes GuideStar and Charity Navigator.)
| I know today’s Giving Tuesday, but what I always find so amazing is how you treat every day as “Giving Tuesday." |
| What makes you say that? I do not donate to an organization or charity every day. |
| You’re always so literal. I meant that the spirit of “giving to others”, whether donating or providing support in some way, seems to be part of your daily life. |
| I think you are exaggerating. |
| Really? What about your involvement with The Make-A-Wish Foundation? That’s been going on for years. And it didn’t take a “holiday” to get you involved. |
| Actually, it was a golf tournament decades ago. But once you see the difference you can make, even if it is a small donation because they add up, it becomes a way of life. Or, at least, it did for me. |
| I know you’ve quietly done things for other organizations and people, too. Living in the Houston area, we have no shortage of natural disasters, and we’ve seen people’s generosity. But what I like about GivingTuesday is it’s not waiting for a specific event because there are so many worthwhile charities that need our support every day. |
| Agree. And, although I am not always a huge fan of social media, #GivingTuesday – note the hashtag – started in 2012 to harness the power of the internet for hashtag activism and, more specifically, to inspire people and companies to give back. |
| Well, social media or not, I know how important it is to give back and help others. And it’s not always about money. Sometimes they need people to donate their time or expertise. I just wish we didn’t need a tragic event or “special day” as a reminder. |
| So, now that you have been reminded, stop talking to me and do your fair share for #GivingTuesday. Trust me, you will be glad you did. |
Today (Black would probably say “every day”) is the perfect day to give back to others, so check out this great list of ideas and pick one (or more) and become part of #GivingTuesday!
What’s so funny about the holiest day in Judaism, Yom Kippur, the “Day of Atonement”? A day where you fast as a way to help you deeply reflect on your past year, asking forgiveness, and then promising to do better.
Well, technically, nothing is funny about the holiday, but every time we think of this speaking engagement, it makes us laugh (as it did our audience) …
| I know that Yom Kippur isn't exactly known as one of the "fun" Jewish holidays, but every year, I can't help but laugh at what's easily my number one Yom Kippur memory. |
| That is what makes memories … memorable. And, finding something to laugh at on Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, which is probably the most important and solemn Jewish holiday, would be memorable. |
| I can't believe you're not even curious what it is!? |
assets.rebelmouse.io | You know I love to "connect the dots", and all you had to say was Yom Kippur, fun, and memory. Obviously, it was when RabbiScott asked us to speak before his congregation on Yom Kippur. |
| Well, I still find it surreal that we were asked to speak about money on one of the High Holy Days. And that we titled our presentation, "Oy Vey, You Want To Talk About Money?" |
| The day is about reflection, making fundamental changes – or at least adjustments – and trying to become a better person. And, just because it is a spiritual journey, there is no reason you cannot make learning fun. |
| True. I remember the time Rabbi Scott put a piece of aluminum foil in the children's Yom Kippur service program to help them understand that Yom Kippur's a day for reflection. But even you must admit that making a congregation laugh about money on a religious holiday is a bit much. |
| But, memorable. A few years later, I met someone who attended that service, and he said he's never forgotten it. |
| For the content or all the food analogies?! I can remember we started by saying how we just wanted to give everyone some food-for-thought and then saying, "Oops, since Yom Kippur's a day of fasting, maybe bringing up the subject of food wasn't such a good idea." |
| Of course, it did not stop us from doing it, again and again. |
| How else could we explain our unexpected journey into personal finance without mentioning it started at our first speaking engagement … which was at a Jewish Federation breakfast? |
| Or, how our detour into criminal justice started with me meeting with the chaplain at a men's prison? But I knew it was meant to be when she told me they had the only kosher kitchen in the Texas prison system. |
| And each time we looked at each other and then the audience, and we all laughed! With each mention of food, it just got funnier and funnier. But there was no way to avoid it. |
| I know. How could you tell the story about realizing all the money you were mindlessly spending at Jamba Juice without mentioning your almost-daily smoothies? Or, how you went grocery shopping at Whole Foods because it was convenient but not cost-effective. Anyway, until that day, I never realized how so many of our stories have to do with food. |
| I think the highlight was toward the end when I was explaining how I felt overwhelmed trying to tackle personal finance. That at times, things seemed insurmountable, and then you told me … it's like eating an elephant, you can do it, just one bite at a time. And everyone started laughing again. |
| On any other day, I doubt that analogy would make you think of food. But, on Yom Kippur, and especially since we were presenting after at least 15 hours of fasting, everything makes you hungry. |
| I guess it's like being so tired that you get slap happy. But I never thought a day of atonement and reflection could end up becoming a day of laughter. |
| On Yom Kippur, we wish people an "easy fast" or a "meaningful fast"… and if a bit of laughter, even if not intended, helps, what is wrong with that? |
| Good point. For that matter, you don't need to be Jewish to take a day, or even just an hour, to stop, to think, and to improve. |
| No fasting required. |