| Thanksgiving’s my favorite holiday, although it’s hard because Natasha’s living in England. But I can’t wait for Sawyer to be home from college, and since she and her friends love our new (or at least new to us) pool table, I’m looking forward to them hanging out at our house. |
| That means there will be more people to enjoy your decorations throughout the house. Do you still put the big inflatable turkey out front? |
| Of course. He’s my favorite inflatable and has been on our front lawn since right after Halloween! If it was up to me, and the homeowners association wouldn’t send me a nasty note, I’d have him up year-round. And I don’t expect you to remember, but years ago, I pared down the number of decorations I put up inside the house. Just enough to make it festive, but not overwhelming in terms of set-up and take-down. |
| And, if I remember correctly, you also pared down your traditional Thanksgiving dinner. Or, at least, the homemade desserts. Are you going back to being excessive now that Sawyer may have friends over? |
| I always make too much food, and this year will be no different, even though in the past, it was also so I could give Mom lots of leftovers. This year will be our first Thanksgiving with her gone. |
| I am sure it will hit you at strange moments throughout the day. Especially when it is time to deal with all the leftovers. |
| Well, it’s not like you’ll take them. You barely like any of it to begin with. |
| Look, I am not a fan of holidays and liked being able to use COVID as my excuse for staying home. And, even though I dislike turkey, I always enjoy the Honey Baked Ham and take a few slices home. |
| Technically, since you buy the ham and I merely pick it up and serve it, you should take all the leftover ham home. But since Sawyer and I both love it, we’re glad you don’t. |
| Using that logic, I should take home all the leftover pies I bring from Whole Foods. Even though I am not a fan of pies. |
| Well, everyone else loves them, and it takes away the guilt of me not making everyone’s favorite desserts. |
| I find it funny – you cook all day and even make multiple types of potatoes so everyone can have their favorite, yet feel guilty about store-bought pies that everyone loves. Years ago, I used to run away from home to avoid celebrating the holiday and never felt guilty. |
| I forgot about that, as it was before I moved to Texas. I never knew whether you were trying to avoid celebrating Thanksgiving or your birthday since they fall so close together. |
| Both. And, especially when my birthday fell on Thanksgiving. |
| This year your birthday falls on Black Friday, which seems so appropriate. Although, like every year, we’ll struggle to find something to get you. |
| I have given up trying to tell you that you do not have to do anything. |
| Yes, but you hit 65 this year. It’s a biggie. |
| Ok, then how about we celebrate by starting a new tradition, and deliver pies to your local nursing home or assisted living facility? It would be a great way to make me feel young. Or, at least, younger. |
| That’s funny. I used to bake cookies and brownies for the girls to give as Christmas gifts, but I’ve never thought about delivering them to total strangers. Plus, since Mom’s birthday was at the end of November, if we did it around Thanksgiving, it would be a great way to honor her memory. |
| Is that not the true spirit of Thanksgiving? People may debate its origins, but it is about giving thanks. The traditional feast “replicates” the Pilgrims celebrating their good fortune by sharing their food and crops with the Indians. |
| Says the woman who doesn’t cook. And never has people over to her home. |
| But, neither is required to appreciate what you have in your life and share it with others. |
| Good point. I think we sometimes get so wrapped up in the shopping and cooking that we forget the true meaning of Thanksgiving. |
| Which is why having meaningful traditions is important. They work as reminders. |
| Then I’m not sure I should admit one of my favorite Thanksgiving traditions. |
| Do I even want to know? |
| Probably not. I wake up, turn on “The Godfather” movie marathon on TV, and start cooking. I love the break from my normal routine and having the freedom to cook all day, coupled with the feeling that it means fall’s here, even if the weather’s still warm. |
| It sounds like you are appreciative of the day. So, that is a step in the right direction. Plus, the movies are about family. And, include family meals. |
| Yes, but even you, who I know loves to connect dots that seem to be unrelated, can’t tie the Corleones or The Godfather movies to the Pilgrims! |
| Really? But I believe, to paraphrase Don Vito Corleone, the Pilgrims made the Indians an offer they could not refuse. |
| Clever! Especially as that may be the most memorable line from the first Godfather movie. So, I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse … we’ll have Thanksgiving dinner late enough that you’ll have most of the day to work on Red & Black in uninterrupted peace and quiet. |
| Deal. And, I give thanks that you remember that is my Thanksgiving tradition. |
Want to read other columns? Here's a list.
When Red first heard Black talking about the importance of "soft skills," she didn't even know what she was referring to, let alone that they would be important to her life. So, Black explained that it was a term used to describe intangible but essential skills, such as critical thinking and problem-solving, communications, and conflict management.
Red, trying to be sarcastic, then asked if there was such a thing as “hard skills,” Black matter-of-factly told her those are tangible and technical skills such as computer skills.
Of course, Black couldn’t pass up an opportunity for sarcasm and explained that although there’s consensus about the importance of soft skills, there’s debate about what they should be called, with her favorite being the Texas Education Agency (TEA) calling them "21st Century Skills" – although she's old enough to remember they were important in the 20th Century, too.
But would anyone call them “Mom Skills”? Well, Red couldn’t help but remember the time Black told her, “Your job is every bit as demanding as a corporate position, and, in fact, you use many of the same skill sets.”Not something Red could ever have imagined, but it made sense once she better understood what soft skills are and how they are used. But then Black took it a step further,
Soft skills are transferable – between your personal life and the workplace (and from industry to industry). If you recognize that interpersonal relations have existed since Adam and Eve (or “caveman” days), and technical skills are constantly changing and there is no way to predict the careers of the future … it is easy to see why soft skills will always be needed.
It's funny, but now that Red’s familiar with soft skills, she not only recognizes them in day-to-day living but sees the impact they have (and the problems caused when they’re lacking). Our new website may not have SOFT SKILLS as a major section, but since it’s one of Black's passion projects, it will have a special place.
Until then, here are some of our favorite posts showing how soft skills affect us on a daily basis (OK, the Ferrari one about negotiating skills may not affect many people, but the message will):
- COLLEGE & SOFT SKILLS: My son’s going off to college but doesn’t know what he wants to study …
- COMMUNICATION: How Do You Communicate? Blah-Blah-Blah Or Bullet Points?
- CUSTOMER SERVICE: RED & BLACK … May I Help You?
- LEADERSHIP: RED & BLACK … Leaders All Around Us
- MOM SKILLS: Translating Mom Responsibilities
- PERSUASION SKILLS: The Fact Is … Don’t Use Facts
- NEGOTIATING SKILLS: A Perfect Day For A Convertible. And For Chutzpah.
- PROBLEM-SOLVING: One Person’s Problem … Is Another’s Challenge?!
- SPOT THE SOFT SKILLS: Selfish, Shallow … And Svelte?
Red was your typical straight-A student, getting great grades starting in kindergarten straight through to graduating from college.(Black’s grades were less than stellar, plus she was a discipline problem – some things never change.) And then, excited and proud of herself, Red thought she was done. Black, on the other hand, thinks of education as something that never ends, and much to the chagrin of students, will tell them,
Homework never ends; it just is called “research” when you get older.
Over the last few years, Red has come around to Black’s way of thinking and realizes it’s a mindset. And that education is more than the classes you take in school.
September is when students of all ages are back in school, but it’s also National Literacy Month, which is about so much more than reading and writing. Literacy includes things like Digital Literacy, Financial Literacy, Health Literacy, and even News Literacy. (As the linked Conversation Starters indicate, Red was the “poster child” of a highly educated person who lacked many of these basic literacy skills.)
So, we challenge you to find a topic that interests you or one you could benefit from learning (personally or professionally) and start doing your homework.
And while not a homework assignment, we figure if you’re still reading, you might be interested in some of our favorite “lifelong learning” posts (many of which helped Red learn about learning in a whole new way).
For many of us, Labor Day marks the end of summer (temperatures aside), and as we switch from a summer holiday mindset back to the “real world”, we can’t help but feel overwhelmed.
You don’t need us to tell you how falling back into a work or school routine can be challenging, especially if you’re facing a backlog of tasks and responsibilities. And, if that wasn’t bad enough, the “silly season” is just around the corner. (Red has been seeing Halloween decorations since mid-July, which means Thanksgiving and all the winter holidays aren’t far behind.)
But you don’t need us to tell you why you feel overwhelmed; you need help dealing with being overwhelmed.
When our new website goes live next year, one of the major sections will be THE DAILY HELP, where you’ll find easy-to-implement tools to get your day back on track and feel more in control.
But that doesn’t help you … NOW. So, here are a handful of our favorite posts to help you deal with daily challenges we all face. (Red admits that she picked the ones she felt she needed to reread.)
- Black’s Time Management “Secret” ... Is Worth Repeating (Time Management)
- It's happened again ... I can’t see my desk there’s so much paper on it. Help! (Piles of Paper)
- How Do You Communicate? Blah-Blah-Blah Or Bullet Points? (Communication)
- Expect Reality, Not Perfection (Relationships)
- Don’t Confuse Time Alone With Time Away! (Stress)
P.S. – Wondering why we haven’t mentioned money? Well, stay tuned, as we’ll have a post dedicated to DOLLARS & SENSE in early November as we get closer to the holidays. (FYI, our subscribers get sneak peeks before we post online.)