People have told us they're using our sisterly banter to start conversations with others (family, friends, and even in classrooms), so Black created "Conversation Starters".
| I never really thought about self-advocacy until Black brought it up in a conversation about “advocacy,”and, even then, I wasn’t sure what she meant. But after she explained it’s speaking up for yourself and your needs, myfirst thought was how that might be OK for others; for me, it totally goesagainst my nature. Black might be ableto toot her own horn, but I’m definitely more reserved. (There’s anunderstatement!) Until I realized that Iwas creating roadblocks in mymind that didn’t need to be there. OK, maybe I’d need some practice, including how best to communicate mymessage, but even I could potentially become a self-advocate. In fact, I realized my daughters were alreadyself-advocates. For example, my older daughter,Natasha, has learning challenges (Black calls them “DIFF-abilities”, meaningshe has different abilities) and in high school learned to self-advocate by askingfor accommodations. While my younger daughter,Sawyer, was a good student so in high school was put on a college prep track;until she self-advocated to be allowed to take some CTE (career and technicaleducation) classes. I was merely inattendance at these meetings yet saw the power of recognizing your strengthsand/or weaknesses and respectfully stating what you need and why. |
| Red’s other default setting is thinking she cannot dosomething until she tries it and realizes she can. It is similar to when she thought she could not“do” personal finance until she was forced to, and lo-and-behold, she could. Aswith any skill – with practice and preparation (think of it as building yourcase), it becomes easier. I will admit that I never stopped to think about theimportance and power of self-advocacy, as my entire life I have always been aself-advocate, although it was only recently that I learned there was a (nice)term to describe assertively speaking up for yourself. Since I have always focused on where I wantedto be in the future and worked backward, I would identify what I needed to getthere. In the workplace, I kept a file where I accumulatedexamples of my skills and strengths and would look at any potential“shortcomings” as opportunities to learn something new. And, if I needed help from others,respectfully communicated that need to the appropriate people. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io 
Black assets.rebelmouse.io THE CONVERSATION STARTERS
- Whatdoes self-advocacy mean to you? Do youthink you could be a self-advocate? Ifso, for what? And why?
- Why should you learn to advocate for yourself?
- What are the potential benefits of advocatingfor yourself? What are the possiblerisks?
- List three of your successes/accomplishments(in the workplace or your personal life). What strengths or skills do they demonstrate?
Design by Sawyer Pennington
Sometimes, the hardest part of a meaningful conversation is simply getting started ...
| I love that people told us they were using our sisterly banter to start conversations with family, friends, coworkers, and even in classrooms. But I had to laugh when you then decided to create an assortment of CONVERSATION STARTERS. |
| | It seemed logical to me. Begin with us looking at a real-life topic and providing our very different (to put it mildly) perspectives. Then, provide a few questions to help continue the conversation, consider other viewpoints, and perhaps learn something new. About the topic and one another. |
| The best part is that there are no “right” or “wrong” answers. You may not agree, but you can still listen, be polite, and respect differing viewpoints and opinions. The point is to … |
Red assets.rebelmouse.io Stop, think, listen, and talk.
Red & Black Conversation Starters … Pick a topic. Read the banter. Choose a question that interests you. Or create your own. The questions are simply there to get the conversation started — where it goes from there is up to you.
P.S. – Readers are telling us that our weekly newsletters are getting them thinking, talking, and even laughing. But don’t take our word for it, sign up at the bottom of this page and see for yourself!
Design by Sawyer Pennington
Our banter may start with two sisters, but it’s getting families, friends, and even classrooms talking.
| When I first heard the term "digital literacy," I wasn't exactly sure what it meant, but I'll admit that I feel like a dinosaur when it comes to technology, and usually turn to my daughters for help. I don't know if it's just generational, but I'm intimidated by my computer, and although I can do the basics, any time things go "wrong", I default into panic mode, followed by feeling lost and frustrated. And the thought of buying a new computer? Well, it gives me a headache — not only the cost but especially learning how to use it. And if I lose internet service, I feel disconnected from the world. (I guess that can sometimes be a good thing.) Then there's my cell phone, and I admit that smartphones often make me feel stupid. I remember when phones were landlines, and cordless was a big deal. Now I'm walking around with a small computer that also makes phone calls and takes photos. I've learned how to text, load some simple apps, and even how to set the alarm clock, but that's about it. |
| I know us "older" people think younger people are technology-savvy, but many are merely technology-dependent, which is very different. Technology is much more than access and setup. Being able to use computers, smartphones, and the internet covers a wide range of "basics" (such as emails and other communication tools, web browsers, and search engines), and there are specific computer skills that improve our productivity (such as word processing and spreadsheets). Plus, you often need web conferencing skills (like Zoom or other audio and video applications) to interview for a job. But, that is only the beginning. Since we live in a digital world, we need the skills to find and analyze information, and also make sure it is accurate and credible. (What is that adage, "Garbage in — garbage out"?) However, it is not only finding the right information, it is then knowing what to do with it. Including what and how to share. |
assets.rebelmouse.io THE CONVERSATION STARTERS
- How would you describe digital literacy? What skills do you think are necessary to manage daily life? To be successful in the workplace?
- Why does using technology correctly seem so daunting?
- What do you think is the best way to learn about technology and become digitally literate?
- How do you decide whether online information is accurate and credible?
P.S. – You might be interested in this animated video on Research & Analytical Skills we did as part of a soft skills series for The Greater Houston Partnership's UpSkill Houston initiative.
Design by Sawyer Pennington
Our banter may start with two sisters, but it’s getting families, friends, and even classrooms talking.
| People seem to disagree about everything these days. And instead of listening to one another, everyone seems determined to prove why they’re right. Growing up, and really until my crisis forced me to change (prompted by you, I might add), I’ve always preferred to avoid conflict. Still do. And most of the time, I can. But since you’re the “debate queen”, I’m curious. How do you change someone’s mind? I suppose you’re going to say it takes having all your facts and figures ready. Or as they used to say on the 1950s TV show Dragnet, "Just the facts, ma'am." |
| Ironically, the key to changing someone’s mind may be closer to your natural tendencies than you realize. Start by listening, not correcting. Telling someone how wrong they are (or how right you are) is fun if you want to start a debate — but not if you genuinely want them to consider another point of view. And, yes, facts and figures matter, but most people find them intimidating and boring. (I know it makes your eyes glaze over.) Find out WHY they believe what they do. Look for something on which you agree. And then, explain your position and why — but not by reciting facts. We are a storytelling society. Facts may support your point, but stories are often what help people “feel it” and see the issue differently. |
THE CONVERSATION STARTERS
- Have you ever tried to change someone's mind? How did you approach it? Did it work?
- When you disagree with someone, do you begin by asking questions or explaining why you're right?
- Has anyone ever changed your mind? What made you willing to reconsider?
- Are you trying to change the other person's mind or simply win the argument?
P.S. – You might be interested in our list of “7 Ways To Change Someone’s Mind.”