RED & BLACK … Don’t Regret Your Regrets?

Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

red head assets.rebelmouse.io	I can't believe it's been a year since they canceled last year's Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo, which means that it's been a year since COVID-19 has seemingly taken over our lives. It's almost hard to remember what life used to be like.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	I am not even sure we know how the "new norm" will look. And, believe it or not, I can still remember the dilemma you faced in terms of Sawyer and the Houston Rodeo. But, the fact you used me as your sounding board, for what I remember as countless hours, may explain it.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	The mom in me just wanted to lock her in the house until we knew more about COVID-19. But I also knew the carnival and concerts at the Houston Rodeo are far and away one of the highlights not only of Spring Break, but her entire year.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Well, the fact they canceled it after the first week made your life – and mine – much easier. So, looking back, do you think you would have stopped her from going?
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Hello? You still there?

red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Yes. I'm thinking about how to answer that. Part of me wants to believe that I'd have exercised my parental right to use "tough love" … but honestly, I really don't know. But what I do know is that looking back, I'd do things differently.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Really? I know you were borderline fanatical about cleaning your groceries for a long time, but many people were. And although Mom, who says she understands, will probably never forgive you for only seeing her "through a window" for almost a year now, even though it is for her own safety.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	No, I meant further back in time. This past year has had me thinking about all the things I didn't do over the years. And how I always took for granted that I'd be able to do them. Then, overnight, I couldn't.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	It is funny you mention that, as various business publications are predicting a boom in travel once things start to open safely. In fact, some Christmas 2021 cruises are already sold out.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Cruises aren't on my list, but travel is. Over the years, my reasons for not traveling were cost-related, but I also struggled to find the time given the girls' schedules and us always being so busy with Red & Black. Bottom line, there were always reasons not to do it. And now I regret it. Not for the missed trips themselves, but for the opportunity to create memories, as some of my fondest memories are from trips. And I don't mean the things I saw; I mean the time spent with those I was traveling with or traveling to see.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	First, no one ever said on their deathbed, "I wish I had worked more." Smarter maybe, but not more. Second, then make "memory making" a priority and start immediately. Call or Zoom friends, do a COVID-safe staycation, take a day-long road trip. Be creative.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	I'm already doing some of that, but the point I was trying to make is that I always thought I could do these things another time. Until life just seemed to stop. And then, a year later, you realize you might not always have the time you assumed you would.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	For years, I have said that the future is not a guarantee, merely an incentive. Unfortunately, I think the pandemic has made that painfully obvious for many people.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Somehow, I don't think you're talking about trips. I know that life's full of regrets, but I imagine one of the worst ones is not being able to say goodbye to a loved one and realizing you never said or did the things you wish you had. It makes you think about the many things we don't do because we're busy and feel we can do it another time – simple things like stopping and spending a bit more time with your child, your partner, your parent – until you later look back and regret it.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	I think that is natural and, unfortunately, a part of life.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	I know. But this past year, more than ever before, has me thinking about things that I regret. Full stop. Some things go back many years, like losing touch with old friends, while others are more recent and make me wish for a "do-over".
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Well, it seems to me that you have two options. You can sit there and have your regrets. Or, you can learn from your regrets and do things differently.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Hello. Are you thinking, again?
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Yes. You're right; I've been so focused on the things I regret, and have felt that I can never have another chance at, that I never even thought about how I can turn some of those regrets around. Or at least make sure I don't have similar regrets in the future. So, at the risk of regretting asking this question … do you have any regrets?
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Just as I do not take walks down memory lane, I do not "do" regrets
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	So, you're trying to tell me there's nothing you'd do differently if you could live your life over?
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	I did not say that. I said that I do not "do" regrets. However, making mistakes is very different from having regrets.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Somehow, I knew I'd regret asking …

Want to read other columns? Here's a list.

monthly column

Words & Banter

It’s Time To Look At Autism Differently

Photo by mevans on iStock

red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Did you know that April's Autism Awareness Month? I wasn't aware (pun intended) of it until I read our local homeowner's monthly newsletter and it caught my eye.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Actually, last month the founding organization, the Autism Society, changed "Awareness" to "Acceptance" to foster inclusivity, as knowing about something is very different from accepting it. But I am guessing that is not the point of this call.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Although it isn't autism, it reminded me of years ago when we found out that Natasha has learning disabilities.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	I think you mean DIFF-abilities.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Of course, that's another thing I remember. I was focused on the negative aspects of her diagnosis until you asked me, point-blank, "Why are they called disabilities?" And proceeded to explain that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Exactly! Imagine the world if everyone excelled at math, but flunked English. Or, a world of lawyers, but no musicians. Some people are better at social skills, while others excel at handling technical data. Why not just say that people who have different skillsets and abilities have DIFF-abilities versus making them feel like they have shortcomings?

Keep Reading ... Show less

mindset & perspective

DON’T MISS A THING

For Red & Black Banter in your inbox ...