| I can't believe it's been a year since they canceled last year's Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo, which means that it's been a year since COVID-19 has seemingly taken over our lives. It's almost hard to remember what life used to be like. | |
| I am not even sure we know how the "new norm" will look. And, believe it or not, I can still remember the dilemma you faced in terms of Sawyer and the Houston Rodeo. But, the fact you used me as your sounding board, for what I remember as countless hours, may explain it. | |
| The mom in me just wanted to lock her in the house until we knew more about COVID-19. But I also knew the carnival and concerts at the Houston Rodeo are far and away one of the highlights not only of Spring Break, but her entire year. | |
| Well, the fact they canceled it after the first week made your life – and mine – much easier. So, looking back, do you think you would have stopped her from going? | |
| Hello? You still there? |
| Yes. I'm thinking about how to answer that. Part of me wants to believe that I'd have exercised my parental right to use "tough love" … but honestly, I really don't know. But what I do know is that looking back, I'd do things differently. | |
| Really? I know you were borderline fanatical about cleaning your groceries for a long time, but many people were. And although Mom, who says she understands, will probably never forgive you for only seeing her "through a window" for almost a year now, even though it is for her own safety. | |
| No, I meant further back in time. This past year has had me thinking about all the things I didn't do over the years. And how I always took for granted that I'd be able to do them. Then, overnight, I couldn't. | |
| It is funny you mention that, as various business publications are predicting a boom in travel once things start to open safely. In fact, some Christmas 2021 cruises are already sold out. | |
| Cruises aren't on my list, but travel is. Over the years, my reasons for not traveling were cost-related, but I also struggled to find the time given the girls' schedules and us always being so busy with Red & Black. Bottom line, there were always reasons not to do it. And now I regret it. Not for the missed trips themselves, but for the opportunity to create memories, as some of my fondest memories are from trips. And I don't mean the things I saw; I mean the time spent with those I was traveling with or traveling to see. | |
| First, no one ever said on their deathbed, "I wish I had worked more." Smarter maybe, but not more. Second, then make "memory making" a priority and start immediately. Call or Zoom friends, do a COVID-safe staycation, take a day-long road trip. Be creative. | |
| I'm already doing some of that, but the point I was trying to make is that I always thought I could do these things another time. Until life just seemed to stop. And then, a year later, you realize you might not always have the time you assumed you would. | |
| For years, I have said that the future is not a guarantee, merely an incentive. Unfortunately, I think the pandemic has made that painfully obvious for many people. | |
| Somehow, I don't think you're talking about trips. I know that life's full of regrets, but I imagine one of the worst ones is not being able to say goodbye to a loved one and realizing you never said or did the things you wish you had. It makes you think about the many things we don't do because we're busy and feel we can do it another time – simple things like stopping and spending a bit more time with your child, your partner, your parent – until you later look back and regret it. | |
| I think that is natural and, unfortunately, a part of life. | |
| I know. But this past year, more than ever before, has me thinking about things that I regret. Full stop. Some things go back many years, like losing touch with old friends, while others are more recent and make me wish for a "do-over". | |
| Well, it seems to me that you have two options. You can sit there and have your regrets. Or, you can learn from your regrets and do things differently. | |
| Hello. Are you thinking, again? | |
| Yes. You're right; I've been so focused on the things I regret, and have felt that I can never have another chance at, that I never even thought about how I can turn some of those regrets around. Or at least make sure I don't have similar regrets in the future. So, at the risk of regretting asking this question … do you have any regrets? | |
| Just as I do not take walks down memory lane, I do not "do" regrets | |
| So, you're trying to tell me there's nothing you'd do differently if you could live your life over? | |
| I did not say that. I said that I do not "do" regrets. However, making mistakes is very different from having regrets. | |
| Somehow, I knew I'd regret asking … |
Want to read other columns? Here's a list.
Every time we see the photo above of our "guinea pigs", it brings back such fond memories. You may be thinking, "What? Are they calling those students guinea pigs?!" Well, actually, yes. And before you think ill of us, please know that we use the term with great affection, deep gratitude, and utmost respect. And these eight amazing seniors from the Class of 2010 know that's our nickname for them because ...
We started calling them our "Guinea Pigs" as soon as they volunteered to help us develop our Red & Black Personal Finance and Life 101 program at KIPP Houston High School. It was important that they knew this was truly an “experiment”, as neither one of us was a teacher or a financial expert.
It all started at our first speaking engagement, when during Q&A a woman asked why the topics in our book weren’t taught in school. The next thing we knew, we were sitting in the office of Bryan Contreras, Director of KIPP Through College, and being asked not only to develop, but also to teach, a semester-long personal finance and Life 101 course to their high school seniors. During their spring semester. (Yes, the months right before they graduate.) While Red looked like a deer in headlights (we barely considered ourselves authors, let alone teachers), Black responded as she often does, with a simple:
Sure, not a problem.
While Red went home to carpool and baking cookies, Black did what she does best — use her corporate and business experience to tackle the challenge. So, she requested a "task force" of seniors to help us develop the curriculum because, as she put it:
If it is not relevant, why bother? And, who knows best what is relevant to high school seniors? High school seniors.
Black introduced them to the business concept of a working lunch (which might also be considered a pizza bribe), and we met for five Fridays. We gave them a list of select book excerpts they were expected to read each week so we could discuss what they thought should be included in the curriculum. That first week, they seemed motivated to help — but we weren't sure what to expect.
They came back excited and totally committed, with two of them having read the entire book and the rest having read much more than the assigned excerpts. Luckily, Red had been a straight-A, copious note-taking student. However, she could barely keep up with their comments and feedback, let alone the side discussions generated by the conversations in our book. You could see their interest in personal finance (and many other Life 101 topics) was strong and genuine, and they explained that learning from the mistakes of others was extremely powerful. One student, after prefacing his comment with apologies, stated:
When I grow up, I don't want to be Red.
We'll always be indebted to our Guinea Pigs for their enthusiasm and suggestions, as using our book as the textbook was their idea, not ours. And through their feedback on the book and the lessons they were already learning from it, which began at those pizza lunches, the answer to how best to "teach" a Red & Black class was obvious to them. It was as simple as a book club. For us, it took a little longer to come to that realization as we were hampered by our own preconceived notions about how lessons are taught in a classroom. So, although the initial intent may have been for us to be the teachers and them to be the students... we learned from each other.
P.S. – For those of you interested in a more "educational" look at our detour into the world of education, including "feedback" (student quotes, Black's "non-scientific" surveys, and KIPP press releases) from our two spring semesters when we "taught" at KIPP Houston High School, please check out An Unexpected Education Detour ...
Red loves to stop and reminisce. Black prefers to look forward.
But even Black will admit that sometimes there’s value in looking back — it reminds us where we came from, the detours and roadblocks we have managed to navigate, and that we may be stronger and more capable than we give ourselves credit for. Sometimes, it’s a lesson learned. Sometimes, it’s a memory that reminds us what’s truly important.
But Black has one caveat (and it's one of her favorite car analogies) …
If you decide to look back, keep it in perspective. There's a reason why windshields are so much larger than rearview mirrors.
| The last few days have been beautiful fall weather, and I can't help but wonder — do you ever miss having your Ferrari convertible? |
| Although some days are perfect convertible weather, given that I barely drove it the last few years I owned it, averaging less than 50 miles a year, I can honestly say, "No." In fact, I cannot even remember the last time I drove it. |
| I can't help you with that, but I'll never forget the last day we taught at KIPP Houston High School, and you drove it there. You should have seen the students' faces as you were lowering the top on it. |
| Funny thing is, I never took the car to KIPP because I did not want anyone to think I was showing off, but I forgot how exciting it is for motorheads to see special cars — whether new or vintage. |
| I doubt everyone crowding around your car was a motorhead, but they certainly were excited to see it. Boys AND girls! At the risk of sounding warm and fuzzy, I think the fact you not only drove a Ferrari, but also raced them, gave the girls a feeling of empowerment that they really can do anything. |
| I guess because I always worked in male-dominated industries, I got used to being the "token" woman. Regardless, I never look at things as being gender-specific. |
| That's because you never look at anything like the rest of the world does, or at least most people do. A perfect example of that is you giving Juan a ride in the Ferrari. I doubt many people would have done that. |
| It seemed only fair since he tried to make a "deal" with me the day before — a hand of poker or even a flip of a coin. If he wins, he gets a ride in the Ferrari. If I win, he will be my slave for a day. Giving him a ride in the car was a reward for having the chutzpah to try to make a deal with me. And, in the two years we taught at KIPP, of the over 200 students who took our Personal Finance & Life 101 class, he was the only one ever to do that. |
| I'll never forget how you also told them that although it may not be the proper definition for the Yiddish word "chutzpah," the real-life definition is "having balls." |
| How else would you explain it? |
| You should know, as many people have used that word to describe you. And it was consistent with the lesson we taught them about how you "confronted" Bob Weinstein (of the movie-producing Weinstein Brothers) at a conference in New York. (Granted, it was well before the #MeToo scandal.) You realized you had nothing to lose, not to mention you were well prepared. |
| In most scenarios, if you do not ask for something, you will not receive it. So, what is the risk of asking? Someone may say "no"? The way I see it, you are no worse off than before you asked. So, in reality, there is no downside risk, but there IS upside potential. They may say "yes." |
| True. And I laughed, although I wasn't surprised when everyone else started asking for a ride in the Ferrari! |
| Except Juan did not just ask for a ride. He tried to negotiate a deal. He structured it so that there was an upside for me if he lost the bet, which obviously would be the downside for him. But, what impressed me the most was that he was proactive and took a chance, albeit a long shot, to get something he wanted. |
| And given the smile on his face when you drove off, it obviously paid off. I bet, even though it has been many years, it's something he's never forgotten. |
| The lesson or the ride in the Ferrari? |
| Both. And I will go out on a limb and say I bet many of the kids standing around the car when you told Juan to jump in, and then explained why, may also remember not only that day but the importance of the lesson. |
| Then, it was a perfect day for a convertible ride. |


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