| I can't believe it's been a year since they canceled last year's Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo, which means that it's been a year since COVID-19 has seemingly taken over our lives. It's almost hard to remember what life used to be like. |
| I am not even sure we know how the "new norm" will look. And, believe it or not, I can still remember the dilemma you faced in terms of Sawyer and the Houston Rodeo. But, the fact you used me as your sounding board, for what I remember as countless hours, may explain it. |
| The mom in me just wanted to lock her in the house until we knew more about COVID-19. But I also knew the carnival and concerts at the Houston Rodeo are far and away one of the highlights not only of Spring Break, but her entire year. |
| Well, the fact they canceled it after the first week made your life – and mine – much easier. So, looking back, do you think you would have stopped her from going? |
| Hello? You still there? |
| Yes. I'm thinking about how to answer that. Part of me wants to believe that I'd have exercised my parental right to use "tough love" … but honestly, I really don't know. But what I do know is that looking back, I'd do things differently. |
| Really? I know you were borderline fanatical about cleaning your groceries for a long time, but many people were. And although Mom, who says she understands, will probably never forgive you for only seeing her "through a window" for almost a year now, even though it is for her own safety. |
| No, I meant further back in time. This past year has had me thinking about all the things I didn't do over the years. And how I always took for granted that I'd be able to do them. Then, overnight, I couldn't. |
| It is funny you mention that, as various business publications are predicting a boom in travel once things start to open safely. In fact, some Christmas 2021 cruises are already sold out. |
| Cruises aren't on my list, but travel is. Over the years, my reasons for not traveling were cost-related, but I also struggled to find the time given the girls' schedules and us always being so busy with Red & Black. Bottom line, there were always reasons not to do it. And now I regret it. Not for the missed trips themselves, but for the opportunity to create memories, as some of my fondest memories are from trips. And I don't mean the things I saw; I mean the time spent with those I was traveling with or traveling to see. |
| First, no one ever said on their deathbed, "I wish I had worked more." Smarter maybe, but not more. Second, then make "memory making" a priority and start immediately. Call or Zoom friends, do a COVID-safe staycation, take a day-long road trip. Be creative. |
| I'm already doing some of that, but the point I was trying to make is that I always thought I could do these things another time. Until life just seemed to stop. And then, a year later, you realize you might not always have the time you assumed you would. |
| For years, I have said that the future is not a guarantee, merely an incentive. Unfortunately, I think the pandemic has made that painfully obvious for many people. |
| Somehow, I don't think you're talking about trips. I know that life's full of regrets, but I imagine one of the worst ones is not being able to say goodbye to a loved one and realizing you never said or did the things you wish you had. It makes you think about the many things we don't do because we're busy and feel we can do it another time – simple things like stopping and spending a bit more time with your child, your partner, your parent – until you later look back and regret it. |
| I think that is natural and, unfortunately, a part of life. |
| I know. But this past year, more than ever before, has me thinking about things that I regret. Full stop. Some things go back many years, like losing touch with old friends, while others are more recent and make me wish for a "do-over". |
| Well, it seems to me that you have two options. You can sit there and have your regrets. Or, you can learn from your regrets and do things differently. |
| Hello. Are you thinking, again? |
| Yes. You're right; I've been so focused on the things I regret, and have felt that I can never have another chance at, that I never even thought about how I can turn some of those regrets around. Or at least make sure I don't have similar regrets in the future. So, at the risk of regretting asking this question … do you have any regrets? |
| Just as I do not take walks down memory lane, I do not "do" regrets |
| So, you're trying to tell me there's nothing you'd do differently if you could live your life over? |
| I did not say that. I said that I do not "do" regrets. However, making mistakes is very different from having regrets. |
| Somehow, I knew I'd regret asking … |
Want to read other columns? Here's a list.
| I know everyone’s always trying to find balance in their life. I thought becoming an empty nester would make that easier, but apparently not. The girls may be grown, but being a mom doesn’t end when your children move out. Between them, Red & Black, and my seemingly endless lists of things to do, I still struggle. |
| And, as I am a die-hard workaholic who admits to not having a life, you think I have the answer? |
| Excellent point. Never mind. |
| However, I do have some suggestions … although I will preface it with, "Do as I say, not as I do." |
| At this point, I'll take whatever help I can get. |
| Sometimes you need to make a conscious effort to stay present. And, by that I mean appreciate what is happening now instead of thinking about what is next. Or, reminiscing about the past. |
| That sounds good, but it also sounds overly simplistic, not to mention highly optimistic. And where would I even start? |
| Easy. It really is as simple as 1 – 2 – 3. |
| Nothing's that simple. |
| 1. SLOW down and look around 2. STOP using your gizmo and consider putting it away 3. GO spend time with family or friends, or steal some "alone time" |
| Actually, that does sound simple. Now I just have to remember to SLOW – STOP –GO. |
| Just imagine a traffic light. Plus, it would have the added benefit of every time you see a real traffic light, it will remind you to SLOW –STOP – GO. |
| I should've known there'd be a car or driving analogy in there somewhere. |
| Throttle on ... |
Never underestimate the difference one person can make. For Black, one extraordinary Make-A-Wish leader proved it — not only by transforming an organization, but by inspiring everyone around her. Black included. This was originally posted in 2022, but bears repeating …
| I know that you’ve been involved with Make-A-Wish for decades, and it’s an amazing organization, but I’m not sure why you made such a big deal about the recent Texas Gulf Coast & Louisiana chapter’s dedication of its building. I appreciate that you were part of the planning group, but with all due respect, it’s just a building. |
| I don’t expect you to remember that it all started in 1980 when Tommy Austin wanted to do something special for a young boy, Chris Greicius, who was battling leukemia and wanted to be a policeman. That wish became a reality and the start of The Make-A-Wish Foundation. |
| That story has always inspired me as it makes you realize the difference that just one person can make. But the building wasn’t named after Chris or Tommy, so I’m still confused. |
red headassets.rebelmouse.io
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io | You just said it yourself. Because one person CAN make a difference. The building is now officially named afterTeresa “Teri” Andrepont because when she was hired as President and CEO, our chapter was a fledgling organization — not only struggling financially, but its future was uncertain. Fast forward 29 years to when Teri retired, and we were one of the most successful chapters in the nation, maybe the world. |
| Wow, talk about a dedication being made because of one individual’s incredible dedication. Pun intended! But it helps that Make-A-Wish is such a well-known and highly respected charity, although I realize that might not have been the case when she started. Regardless, it gave her the opportunity to have a wonderful career. |
| I joined the Board not long after she was hired and have been involved ever since. This was not a career for Teri — but a passion and personal commitment. She was more than a leader; she was a visionary. She not only saw the power of a wish, but also how Make-A-Wish could be an important part of the community. And, it was contagious. |
| I’ve always wondered where your passion for Make-A-Wish came from. |
| It may have started at a golf tournament benefiting Make-A-Wish, but it was Teri’s passion and unwavering dedication that made us all want to do everything we could to support her. |
| OK, I know it’s an understatement to say you have a strong personality, but I can’t help but wonder if there were ever times you disagreed with Teri or wanted to suggest different ways of doing things. |
| I never have a shortage of ideas or suggestions. Or even questions. What I always respected about Teri is she would hear me out (and vice versa), and I knew she always did what she genuinely felt was best for the chapter. But, as you have heard me say many times, many roads can take you to your final destination. |
| Oh yes, I have. And clearly, yours and Teri’s goal was the same … to make the chapter as successful as possible and to grant as many wishes as possible. |
| Exactly. At first, it meant getting the chapter out of debt. I will never forget the Board meeting when Teri was concerned that she could not meet payroll. And, we only had a few employees. I remember that every time I look at our financials, and although we are on solid footing, it is important to remember our humble beginnings and what it took to get here. |
| Looking at the chapter now, it’s hard even to imagine things were ever that dire. |
| I know. But, that is because of Teri. And, it did not happen overnight. As we grew, so did our need for more office space. We started in a small donated office in the west part of Houston, and later we bought a small home we called “the cottage” near the Medical Center. When we outgrew that, Teri found our current building, which was once an Ethan Allen furniture store. |
| I love the layout of that building and walking through it. Each different area tells stories of hope and joy, especially the “Bald is beautiful” wall. But I can’t imagine how you decide which wishes to feature. There must be thousands of them. |
| We are quickly approaching 10,000 wishes, of which 8,261 were granted under Teri’s leadership. But, there are 250 wishes that truly impress me. |
| Seriously? You keep track of that? |
| No. When we started working on the building dedication, I learned something new about Teri. During the 29 years she was our CEO and President, Teri and her husband, Jim, volunteered to grant 250 wishes. |
| So, that’s on top of everything else she did?! I think that says it all. |
| And, explains why the building is dedicated to her. So, do you still think it is just a building? |
P.S. – Watch the video in honor of the building dedication and decide for yourself. And if you're curious where Black's passion for Make-A-Wish started, click here.
Did you know that Saturday is National Garage Sale Day? (Yes, that’s a real thing.) But no matter the reason for a garage sale — whether to get rid of things you’re not using anymore, an attempt to declutter, or estate sale “leftovers” — they can be about so much more than just “stuff”. Something Red learned a few years ago when our mom passed ...
| Thanks for the accounting of your garage sale. But, given how many hours you spent preparing for it, and then the actual sale itself, did you calculate how much you “earned” on a $/hour basis? |
| No, all I know is that it seemed to take forever to go through everything in Mom’s house and decide what to keep, what to sell, what to donate. And what to trash. As far as the garage sale, I’ll give you your half the next time I see you. |
| Keep my half. You did all the work. I did not even offer to help. |
| And that was a big help. Thank you. |
| Obviously, you must be exhausted because you are making no sense. |
| Sorry, but I have a specific way of running garage sales, and the last thing I needed was another “cook in the kitchen”. |
| Not a good analogy, as “cook” is a four-letter word that I do not use. |
| Cute. But seriously, I knew if I had asked you to help, you would’ve. But I can only imagine how you’d have reacted when you first saw all the stuff for sale. Especially as I treat garage sales as a way to get rid of items that I know have very little value. I’m not trying to maximize the money I make; I’m just trying to make the stuff “go away”. In fact, I don’t even put prices on them. |
| That all makes sense. Except for not having everything pre-priced. That would drive me crazy. How do you know what to charge people? |
| It’s an experience thing and another reason why I didn’t ask you to help. I have a sense of prices, but not something I could quantify in advance. When someone arrives, I tell them that everything’s cheap and give them an example. They usually look at me like, “Wow, she means it.” And then I tell them to collect what they want and that I promise to give them a good price. And I do. |
| Is that why you and Mom never had joint garage sales? I cannot imagine she would let you determine prices on the spot. |
| Actually, she’s the one who “taught” me not to price things. That if someone picks up something or you see them looking at it, they’re interested. And that’s all you need to know. Where we differed was in how much to charge. To her, it was fun, but also a way to make money. To me, a garage sale isn’t my retirement account. It’s my way to get rid of stuff, especially big, bulky stuff. |
| In other words, people are paying you to haul off your trash. Or, save you trips taking stuff to your local thrift stores. |
| Exactly. Although I still take a lot of items to thrift stores that would probably sell for a decent price at a garage sale because I believe in what they’re doing, and I know that my donations make a difference. But I forgot how fun a garage sale can be, meeting people and laughing, just making connections, and knowing that someone will now enjoy and/or use your things. Or, in this case, Mom’s things. |
| Is there a particular age group that came to your garage sale? |
| It was truly a mix of people. Not counting the kids tagging along with their parents, which reminded me of when the girls would set up a lemonade stand to benefit Make-A-Wish at my garage sales years ago, they ranged from 20-somethings to senior citizens. But I’m almost afraid to ask why you asked. |
| I will not get into studies and statistics, but younger people are really into the environment and reusing older things, especially clothing (which is one of the three “new” R’s – reduce– reuse – recycle). So, garage sales, along with thrift stores, are becoming more popular than ever. |
| I love it! And the idea of so many of Mom’s things, now that she’s passed, will get to live on and be enjoyed by others. |
| At the risk of sounding like a MasterCard commercial, there are some things that money cannot buy. Like sentimental value and fond memories. |
| I know. Which is why the process of sorting everything was so time-consuming. Interestingly, when that came up in conversation during the garage sale, so many people could relate and then shared their own stories. It was as if they wanted me to know that Mom’s things were getting a good home. |
| Well, if you add that to the cash you made, it sounds like a very successful garage sale. Hopefully, the next sale, being an estate sale with larger and higher-priced items, will be as successful. And, although I tried to get you to use a professional “estate sale” company that would do everything for you, I am beginning to understand why you decided to do it yourself. |
| The hardest part was culling and organizing, and there was no way I’d let strangers go through all of Mom’s things. And the internet makes “advertising” the sale and posting items online very easy. All in all, there’s no reason we can’t do it ourselves. |
| We?! |
| Yes, because your ability to combine photos into a single image and correct my grammar is important. But your spreadsheets will be critical. |
| Now, that I can do. |