Banter Bites

Think Before Hating

You can't say this isn't personal … because that's exactly what it is.

BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: Red, the history lover, felt she should have known about Pride Day, which ultimately led to Pride Month, but Black thinks the history isn't as important as accepting and celebrating the LGBTQ community.


You can't help but notice all the rainbows in recognition of Pride Month, but Red admits that until earlier this month, she didn't know that Pride Day, June 28, commemorated the Stonewall Uprising, which a year later was the date of the first official Pride parade. But she's well aware of the challenges facing the LGBTQ community, and it angers and frustrates her that, as often happens, a group of people is singled out as the target of hate simply because they're considered "different". And while "venting" about it with Black, was reminded that hate often comes from being closed-minded and not knowing any better,

It is easier to hate someone based on stereotypes versus personal experience. Do not underestimate how important it is that our first-known personal relationships with gay people, those who now would identify as LGBTQ, were before we knew their sexual preferences. They were people first, then friends, and almost "by-the-way" gay. And therein lies a powerful difference – we knew them as individuals.

Although Black's words weren't exactly rocket science, they did make Red stop and realize how our experiences shaped our understanding, perceptions, and acceptance of the LGBTQ community because we simply didn't see them differently than other individuals. Red initially didn't think much more of it, recognizing we can only control how we feel and react, but soon after our June 8 post about Pride Month on our Facebook page, a follower commented,

You all are so supportive of all people from all walks of life. It's a pleasure knowing you.

It was a reminder that each and every one of us can make a difference. Sometimes in a small way, and sometimes in a way that makes others take notice. Which is exactly what happened when Red spotted an article about a bakery in Lufkin, Texas, that had baked heart-shaped rainbow cookies in support of Pride Month. (It caught her eye because we did a speaking engagement in Lufkin many years ago that remains one of her favorites.)

The Confections Bakery posted an image of beautiful rainbow cookies on its Facebook page (scroll down to June 2) with the simple message, "More LOVE. Less hate." Did the cookies immediately sell out? Not exactly. They received a backlash of hate, including the cancellation of a significant cookie order. However, by the next morning, the positive response was incredible – the long line of customers at the bakery, countless offers to buy the canceled order, and a considerable number of orders coming in from around the country. Which made Red smile,

A simple post promoting Pride Month cookies and "More LOVE. Less hate." led to a response of hate but ended up truly being about "More LOVE. Less hate."

Two years ago, on MLK Day, Red learned the power and inspiration of the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. And the power of dreams. And as long as there's social unrest and social injustice in the United States (stop and think about the first word … as we’re supposed to be united), the more we can learn from him … as not only did he fight for equality for all, but his approach is proof of the power of peaceful protests.

For most of us, writing and delivering one powerful and/or inspiring thing would be a very difficult task. To be remembered for hundreds is truly amazing.

BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: There's so much one can say about Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., who led the civil rights movement from the mid-1950s until his assassination in 1968, and whose leadership was fundamental to the ending of legal segregation in many parts of the United States. But regardless of your position on segregation, it's almost impossible not to acknowledge, yet alone appreciate, how incredibly powerful and inspiring his words were and the impact they continue to have on the civil rights movement. But don't believe us. This goodreads post provides more than just a good read, it's a seemingly endless list of inspirational quotes while a great "refresher" course on Dr. King is available at History.com.

We grew up in New York, where bagels are almost sacred, but even though they may have started as a Jewish food in Europe, they’re now enjoyed by everyone everywhere (including Red and Black, but in very different ways) – why else would there be a National Bagel Day?

National holidays aren’t the time to count calories.

BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: We both agree that happiness has a hole in it, although one of us may only eat one bagel a year while the other tries to keep it to only one bagel when she does indulge.

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Another year and another National Clean Your Desk Day (yes, that’s actually a thing). So, is Red’s desk any better than the “disaster” it was last year? Well, believe it or not, it may not be perfect, but it’s significantly better. Is it because she finally listened to Black’s advice (see below) or somehow found a “secret” of her own? As it turns out, it was a combination of the two as Red discovered, even if the rest of her life isn’t “nice and neat” (that’ll never happen), she loves walking into her workroom in the morning and starting the day in a (somewhat) organized space, which provides the best motivation for keeping it that way. (Luckily, Black never brought up the science of messy desks.)

A day to clean up your desk?! It will take way more than a day …

BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: No one is immune from piles of paper, not even Black, the master of organization, but there’s a huge difference between a desk with a few small piles and some scattered papers (although her laptop’s keyboard needs serious cleaning) and Red’s “workroom” that usually looks like a tornado hit it.

Which is why Red rolled her eyes when Black mentioned today’s National Clean Your Desk Day, as it’d take her significantly more than a day to “clean up this mess,” but then she remembered Black’s advice on how to keep her piles (and piles) of paper under control and felt inspired. Red admits often feeling like she’s drowning in paper, but that’s because she lets the piles get out of control before reminding herself of Black’s very easy, straightforward approach to turning her mountains of paper into small manageable hills. And, significantly reducing stress along the way, because as Black points out,

Sometimes, it is more important to know what you are ignoring than it is to deal with everything in the piles.