Banter Bites

Pride Month. Every Month.

Rainbows are beautiful and suggest something magical. But during Pride Month, they also become a symbol of love, support, and understanding for the LGBTQ community.

BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: Until yesterday, when Black explained it to her, Red, like many people, didn't realize that Pride Month evolved from a tragic event, the Stonewall Uprising, into both a tribute and a memorial before it became a worldwide celebration of the LGBTQ community.


In fact, Red believes that if she hadn't pursued a theater degree at college, she might have gone decades without getting to know someone that was gay. However, looking back, she's sure that she had high school classmates who would later be able to identify themselves as LGBTQ, but back then had to keep it a secret in fear of being bullied, ostracized, or possibly even disowned by their families.

I was a freshman at Wake Forest University, a Baptist school in North Carolina in 1980, so not someplace you would expect to find an outwardly gay person. However, I spent almost all of my time at the theater department, which is where I first met "Bryan." You couldn't help but become friends with him because he was so incredibly funny and talented. But there was something else about him, and although initially I couldn't quite put my finger on it, I soon realized that he was gay. I had grown up sheltered (that's an understatement) in a neighborhood that was almost exclusively Jews and Italians, and now was at a school that was even more "white bread" than that, but my only thought was, "Ok, cool, now I know a gay person."

Black, being five years older and having gone to school in New York City and then London, was more worldly than Red (that's not saying much), not to mention she tended to date much more than Red did.

I was at London Business School, and this was 1978, back when private clubs and discos (like Tramp's and Annabel's) were all the rage. One of the other Americans, Bob, a very handsome Black man, invited me to go clubbing with him. I got all dressed up for a night on the town, and the minute we walked into the first club, I felt like a kid in a candy store – it was filled with incredibly good-looking men, and I seemed to be one of the few women. The odds were in my favor. But then, the penny dropped, and I asked Bob if this was a gay club. It was, and I think it was his way of letting me know he was gay (or maybe he thought I already knew), but I thought it cruel. It was like being in that candy store, but being told you can look, but you cannot touch.

As Baby Boomers, our opinions and attitudes toward LGBTQ were influenced by our first encounters, so we saw them as people who merely had different sexual preferences. Full stop. Red's daughters, who are 18 and 22, laugh at the fact their mom and aunt can remember their "first time" as so many of their friends are LGBTQ. No big deal.

So, what can we each do to celebrate Pride Month and show our support? Of course, Red loves the idea of cooking, watching movies, and reading books, while Black knows there are many highly effective workplace activities. But what's most important is finding a way to commemorate and bring awareness to a population that includes our families, our friends, our neighbors, our communities.

Empowering girls – one cookie at a time. Ok, maybe one box of cookies at a time.

BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: It’s that time of year when many people’s New Year’s resolution of eating better is challenged by the arrival of Girl Scout cookies; something that poses a problem for Red, while for Black, it's an opportunity.

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Two years ago, on MLK Day, Red learned the power and inspiration of the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. And the power of dreams. And as long as there's social unrest and social injustice in the United States (stop and think about the first word … as we’re supposed to be united), the more we can learn from him … as not only did he fight for equality for all, but his approach is proof of the power of peaceful protests.

For most of us, writing and delivering one powerful and/or inspiring thing would be a very difficult task. To be remembered for hundreds is truly amazing.

BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: There's so much one can say about Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., who led the civil rights movement from the mid-1950s until his assassination in 1968, and whose leadership was fundamental to the ending of legal segregation in many parts of the United States. But regardless of your position on segregation, it's almost impossible not to acknowledge, yet alone appreciate, how incredibly powerful and inspiring his words were and the impact they continue to have on the civil rights movement. But don't believe us. This goodreads post provides more than just a good read, it's a seemingly endless list of inspirational quotes while a great "refresher" course on Dr. King is available at History.com.

We grew up in New York, where bagels are almost sacred, but even though they may have started as a Jewish food in Europe, they’re now enjoyed by everyone everywhere (including Red and Black, but in very different ways) – why else would there be a National Bagel Day?

National holidays aren’t the time to count calories.

BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: We both agree that happiness has a hole in it, although one of us may only eat one bagel a year while the other tries to keep it to only one bagel when she does indulge.

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