We’re Not Masking Our Feelings

Photo by enviromantic for iStock

red head assets.rebelmouse.io

I know I shouldn’t say this, but I can’t stand N95 masks! They make me feel like a duck.

Black assets.rebelmouse.io

That quacks me up. Regardless, they are much more effective than cloth masks. And, FYI, they do come in different shapes.

assets.rebelmouse.io

I just wish they were more comfortable.

Black assets.rebelmouse.io	It is a lot more comfortable than being on a ventilator or in a hospital. Or dealing with long-haul symptoms of COVID. It seems like such a small sacrifice – not only to protect yourself, but also those around you.
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	Which is why I’ve been masking from the beginning of the pandemic, and, in fact, I often double mask, just to be on the safe side. Although sometimes, it’s because I want to cover up my ugly “duck face” mask with a more attractive fashion mask.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Funny that you mention “attractiveness,” as there have been studies done, and masks can actually make people more attractive. But, I guess a PSA stating, “Improve your looks, wear a mask” might not be well-received.
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	Now that’s funny. But hopefully, now that the government’s going to make 400 million N95s available for free, no one should have an excuse not to wear one. I can remember at the beginning of the pandemic when you couldn’t find any masks, not even “fashion” ones.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	That problem was solved, only to be replaced with a bigger issue. A combination of people who always resisted wearing masks, those who do not think vaccinated people need them, and those who are just getting tired of wearing them. After two years, so many people have lost whatever patience they used to have with COVID.
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	That’d be like our parents and grandparents losing patience with World War II and deciding to stop making sacrifices for the good of the country. But rationing went on for years! Whether it was cars and gas, or luxury items like silk and nylons, Americans didn’t think twice about doing their part.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Small sacrifices for the greater good. It is especially appalling when you think of those people who have made significant sacrifices, and I include all the frontline workers, for this nation, while others cannot do something as simple as wearing a mask.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	That’s because in America, wearing a mask has become political. And I don’t know how even logic will help you get around it. All I do know is it just makes me roll my eyes.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Something you cannot hide behind your mask …

wear a mask

Words & Banter

Red Then. Red Now.

From back flap of our book, “What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!” Photographer unknown.

Long before we had an ABOUT page, readers met Red not only through the back flap of our bestselling book, What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!, but because her crisis was the book’s title! But a lot has happened since Black turned her crisis into a book — a brand — a business. Including a lot of growing up.

And Red? Still warm and fuzzy. Just a lot less sheltered.

WHAT WE SAID THEN

When we started working on the book, Red couldn’t find a photo of her and the girls, so they posed for one in the fall of 2004. Later, our book editor captured Red this way:

After getting a degree in Theater Arts, Red moved back in with her parents until she married an outgoing Englishman and followed his career around the globe. Now she lives in Sugar Land, a suburban city on the outskirts of Houston, Texas. Red is a warm and fuzzy mom whose life revolves around her two red-headed girls. With Red, it's all about the feelings.

WHAT WE DIDN’T KNOW THEN …

We knew Red was used to letting others take the lead. We didn’t know that once she took control, she’d discover how much she was capable of.

We knew her life revolved around her two red-headed girls. We didn’t know how much growing up was still ahead — for them and for Red.

We knew Red had learned a lot when her husband got fired. We probably should have known she’d want to use what she learned to help others.

And we described Red as “warm and fuzzy” and “all about the feelings. ”Still true. She’s just learned that sometimes warm and fuzzy isn’t enough.

AND THERE’S A STORY BEHIND THE PHOTO …

What makes this seemingly ordinary photo remarkable? Red’s in front of the camera!

She was almost always the one behind the camera, so when we needed a photo of her for the book, it had to be staged. In fact, she’s not even sure who took the photo.

At the time, it was simply a photo we needed. Looking at it now, it’s more than that. It captured Red in the middle of the life she’d always dreamed about — and when her girls were still young and being their mom was the center of her world.

She knew they would grow up. She just didn’t know how quickly that picture would become a memory.

A lot has changed since that photo was taken. Including Red.

Red & Black

Words & Banter

Comparing Red & Black

Same family. Very different approaches to life.

Red is warm and fuzzy. Black is pragmatic and sarcastic.

Red leads with her heart. Black leads with her head.
Red wants to talk it through. Black wants to solve it.
Red gives you the context. Black gives you the bottom line.

Which sounds more like you?

Which brings us to one of our favorite examples: When we had to explain the differences between us for the Introduction to What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!, Red wrote pages with her usual blah-blah-blah. Black gave the book designer a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet.

Funny thing is that over the years, readers have not only told us which of us they’re more like, but also gone so far as to identify the “Reds” and “Blacks” in their own families. We even had a few who nicknamed themselves (one was “Brown,” another was “Bald”).

So, are you more like Red or Black? Or somewhere in between?

comparing sisters

Words & Banter

Finding Balance … With A Traffic Light?

Red assets.rebelmouse.io	I know everyone’s always trying to find balance in their life. I thought becoming an empty nester would make that easier, but apparently not. The girls may be grown, but being a mom doesn’t end when your children move out. Between them, Red & Black, and my seemingly endless lists of things to do, I still struggle.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	And, as I am a die-hard workaholic who admits to not having a life, you think I have the answer?
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	Excellent point. Never mind.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	However, I do have some suggestions … although I will preface it with, "Do as I say, not as I do."

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finding balance

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For Red & Black Banter in your inbox ...

Red assets.rebelmouse.io	At this point, I'll take whatever help I can get.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Sometimes you need to make a conscious effort to stay present. And, by that I mean appreciate what is happening now instead of thinking about what is next. Or, reminiscing about the past.
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	That sounds good, but it also sounds overly simplistic, not to mention highly optimistic. And where would I even start?
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Easy. It really is as simple as 1 – 2 – 3.
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	Nothing's that simple.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	1. SLOW down and look around 2. STOP using your gizmo and consider putting it away 3. GO spend time with family or friends, or steal some "alone time"
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	Actually, that does sound simple. Now I just have to remember to SLOW – STOP –GO.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Just imagine a traffic light. Plus, it would have the added benefit of every time you see a real traffic light, it will remind you to SLOW –STOP – GO.
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	I should've known there'd be a car or driving analogy in there somewhere.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Throttle on ...