Words & Banter

RED & BLACK … Not Just New, Better

Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash


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Well, it’s our first column of the year. A new beginning. Any “new” ideas for topics? Something other than New Year’s resolutions.


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Is there a reason you do not want to talk about resolutions?


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Obviously, yours was not to ask fewer questions.


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That will never happen, but you are avoiding the question. Why?


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Because every year, I have a long list of things I want to do, and I start strong, but within a few months, I fall back into old habits. Sometimes it only takes weeks. It’s frustrating and disappointing.


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Next question. What is the opposite of “old?"


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I want to say, “New,” but this is clearly one of your trick questions.


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”New” would technically be correct … but, so is “current.” Most people think of resolutions as total overhauls, which has never made sense to me. Instead of major change, which is rarely a realistic goal, why not focus on improving and doing things better?


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Now that’s an interesting thought, especially as Sawyer said to me, mere minutes into the new year, that one of her resolutions was to build on last year’s goals at the gym. So, for me, instead of using that dreaded word “diet,” I could just focus on eating better.


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“Dieting” is focused on weight loss, but eating better is about healthy choices. It may sound like a nuance, but it is a different mindset.


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All I know is phrasing it that way already takes the pressure off. And since I love fruit and salads, it’d be easier to think about using them as substitutes vs. trying to give up the “bad stuff”.


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Exactly. Keep what you are doing that is good and get rid of – or at least reduce – what is not so good.


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I find it interesting that you said “not so good” instead of “bad.” I like that. It puts the focus on the good. Which is a good idea! Pun intended.


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And, that applies to everything … not just eating habits.


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Well, it’s too bad that everyone doesn’t focus on the good. There’s so much negativity everywhere. You turn on the news, and that’s all you hear. You pick up the newspaper, and that’s all you see. And to make matters worse, I often feel like the media’s stirring the pot.


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Good thing you are not on social media. It is even worse there.


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I’d like to think people want good news, but I feel like you have to search for those stories. For example, I get CNN headlines on my phone, and there’s usually one or two “feel good” stories, but they’re typically buried at the bottom.


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Without boring you with studies and statistics, although people say they prefer stories with a “positive” message, they are drawn to “negative” stories. And, since the news media is big business, it gives audiences what they want. Maybe you should change your newsfeed to Axios, as I find its stories are not only factual, but have a human element as they explain “why” the information is important. Regardless, nothing requires you to keep up with all the news.


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Usually it’s just background noise while I’m doing other things. But when Mom passed in mid-December, I stopped watching the news and have barely looked at the headlines on my phone. It started with me feeling like I didn’t need to hear anything negative going on in the world while I was dealing with my grief. And then I decided I didn’t miss all the negative news and preferred to focus on positive things.


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Imagine if everyone took that same approach. Focusing on positive things, not negative. The difference it could make – not only to us individually but to society as a whole.


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Do you think, in today’s world where people are so quick to criticize and find the negative, that’s even possible?


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You tell me. After “divorcing” yourself from the news, have you noticed any change in your behavior toward others?


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Yes, but it also might be because Mom’s passing has made me overly sensitive. However, I’ve found myself having more patience with other people. Places where I sometimes can be impatient – the grocery store, the gas station, etc.


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You get impatient with people? So, you are not always warm and fuzzy?


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Very funny. But if you’ll let me finish ... instead of ignoring people and/or muttering to myself that they were in my way or moving slowly or whatever, I’ve been giving people more “time”. I make a point of trying to smile or making a friendly comment. And almost everyone has responded in a positive way.


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Kindness can be contagious. So, maybe you should add that to your list of New Year’s resolutions. As I already said, resolutions do not have to be major overhauls, they are about improving and doing things better.


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So, what do you plan to do better in the New Year? Work on your sarcasm, perhaps?


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Actually, I have been told I already do that well. But, I guess there is always room for improvement …

Want to read other columns? Here's a list.

Red was your typical straight-A student, getting great grades starting in kindergarten straight through to graduating from college.(Black’s grades were less than stellar, plus she was a discipline problem – some things never change.) And then, excited and proud of herself, Red thought she was done. Black, on the other hand, thinks of education as something that never ends, and much to the chagrin of students, will tell them,

Homework never ends; it just is called “research” when you get older.

Over the last few years, Red has come around to Black’s way of thinking and realizes it’s a mindset. And that education is more than the classes you take in school.

September is when students of all ages are back in school, but it’s also National Literacy Month, which is about so much more than reading and writing. Literacy includes things like Digital Literacy, Financial Literacy, Health Literacy, and even News Literacy. (As the linked Conversation Starters indicate, Red was the “poster child” of a highly educated person who lacked many of these basic literacy skills.)

So, we challenge you to find a topic that interests you or one you could benefit from learning (personally or professionally) and start doing your homework.

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For many of us, Labor Day marks the end of summer (temperatures aside), and as we switch from a summer holiday mindset back to the “real world”, we can’t help but feel overwhelmed.

You don’t need us to tell you how falling back into a work or school routine can be challenging, especially if you’re facing a backlog of tasks and responsibilities. And, if that wasn’t bad enough, the “silly season” is just around the corner. (Red has been seeing Halloween decorations since mid-July, which means Thanksgiving and all the winter holidays aren’t far behind.)

But you don’t need us to tell you why you feel overwhelmed; you need help dealing with being overwhelmed.

When our new website goes live next year, one of the major sections will be THE DAILY HELP, where you’ll find easy-to-implement tools to get your day back on track and feel more in control.

But that doesn’t help you … NOW. So, here are a handful of our favorite posts to help you deal with daily challenges we all face. (Red admits that she picked the ones she felt she needed to reread.)

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We’ve been posting new content on our website multiple times a week for what seems like forever, so it will be strange to only post a few times a month.


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And, do not forget we also have been “feeding the beast” known as social media. But, if it makes you feel any better, we will still be issuing our newsletter every week and providing our followers with inside information on what the New Year will bring – a new website … and our new approach to Red & Black.


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I’m so excited as it’s going to be fun, animated (in more ways than one), and help people take control of their lives vs. their life controlling them. Which, to some extent, is what we’ve always tried to do.


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Yes, except our current site has almost too much information, and you do not know where to turn first. Or, where to go if you are looking for specific help.


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I know when I first had my crisis, I turned to you, looking for you to tell me what to do. Instead, all I got was questions. Lots and lots of questions. But those questions were how you helped guide me. I think that’s why our book became a bestseller … because people could join me on my journey.
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