| I can't believe that Sawyer's graduated from high school and will be off to college in a few months. It's so bittersweet. Especially as it seems like only yesterday you were bringing me dinner in the hospital the day she was born – it was wedding soup from my favorite Italian restaurant. |
| Well, since that has now become one of her favorite restaurants, that is where we should go to celebrate the start of her exciting new journey. |
| Exciting is an understatement. As soon as she finished her Zoom session with the orientation team at Belmont University, she came downstairs and talked a mile a minute about all the incredible course offerings, and before I knew it, she opened her laptop and was going through everything with me. |
| When she showed it to me, I was impressed by the range of courses available, and it made me want to go back to college. But, I was most impressed by her enthusiasm and commitment to opening herself up to opportunities that she might not have previously considered. |
| I know! For years, starting when we taught at KIPP Houston High School, you've told students that college was a step-along-the-way, not a destination. And the perfect opportunity to try new things. |
| I also said, "Homework never ends; it just is called 'research' when you get older." |
| Yes, although they didn't like hearing that. Most people think that once you walk across the stage to get your diploma, you're done. But I found out the hard way that learning never ends. And it wasn't until I was 40+ years old! |
| And, unlike when you were in school and wanted to learn, you initially resisted learning anything new. You created mental roadblocks and were your own worst enemy. |
| Fine. I didn't think I could "do" personal finance until you made me try. And although I may not like doing it, it was truly a life lesson. And not just for me, but for Natasha and Sawyer, as I was able to share what I learned with them. |
| You may not have proactively wanted to become a lifelong learner, but sometimes you have no choice. For example, when you resigned yourself to get over your resistance to technology. And, FYI, "learning to adapt" is a great skill to have. |
| I'm not sure I'd call it a skill so much as the fear of you giving me grief for not "getting over it". Like a few weeks ago, when I was on my iPad and "fell off" of our Zoom business meeting. I just wanted to let you continue and update me later rather than figure out how to rejoin the meeting on my computer, but I knew that wasn't an option. |
| You figured it out, and quicker than I expected. Zoom meetings are an excellent example of how the pandemic has forced people to learn new things. Research shows that people who are adaptable, who are willing to learn new things, who embrace change are ultimately the most successful. |
| I don't know if you're talking personally, or in the workplace, or both, but I've never thought of "being adaptable" as a skill. But it makes sense since none of us knows what the future will look like. After all, if someone had told me when Natasha was born that one day, I'd be on a video "phone call" with her on another continent using a computer I could hold in my hand, I'd have thought they were crazy – not only about the technology but about my ability to use the technology. |
| Exactly. School can only teach you what is known at the time. After that, you are on your own. Although I find it ironic that educators stress the need to develop lifelong learners, yet the education "system" still does things the way they have always been done. Sounds like, "Do as I say – not what I do." Regardless, I believe a critical part of learning comes from trying new things, taking chances, and even failing, as long as you learn from your mistakes. |
| As a mom, letting your children "fail" goes against your instincts to protect them, although conceptually, I understand that sometimes that's the only way to learn. Plus, as much as I'd like to tell them what to do, if I do, they'll never learn to make their own decisions. I know I'll miss Sawyer a lot when she goes off to college, just as I did when Natasha moved abroad. But I also know that she'll be learning more than what's taught in the classroom as she'll be learning how to live away from home. |
| Yes, there are many things to be learned from living life … they are called "life lessons" for a reason. But, like learning anything else new, you need to be open to the concept. |
| Easier said than done! Unlike you, who approaches everything with a positive mindset and a love of learning, us "mere mortals" find that learning new things isn't always easy and can be uncomfortable. |
| That is where you have to find the right motivation – whether it is to improve aspects of your personal life, advance your career, or just make life more interesting without necessarily having a specific objective. |
| That's how Sawyer's approaching her academic "life" at college – open to learning new things and going in new directions. Unfortunately, that's something that often gets lost or put to the side once we leave school. Unless we're forced into it. |
| Whether proactive or reactive, it does not change the fact that you are never too young or too old to be a lifelong learner. |
Want to read other columns? Here's a list.
Before you answer the question, we should warn you that it might be a trick question …
| I know you don’t celebrate holidays, so I’m not going to ask you if you have any plans for Valentine’s Day, but you do know that February’s American Heart Month, right? |
| Of course. Which means the American Heart Association’s “Go Red” campaign is in full force. And, they are not talking about you. It is because heart disease is the leading cause of death – for both men and women. |
| Don’t you find it ironic that Valentine’s Day – a “fun” holiday about letting people you love and care about know that you’re thinking of them … a holiday filled with Hallmark cards, squishy teddy bears, chocolate hearts – falls in the middle of such a “serious” month-long awareness campaign? |
red headassets.rebelmouse.io
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io | Is it ironic or pragmatic? If you want to make sure you are around for the people you care about, you should think about being heart-healthy. Especially eating well and exercising. |
| I do, and the irony is I always knew what to do. It’s only been in the last year or so that I’ve finally found the motivation to keep it going for more than a few days. Somehow, it went from forcing myself to do it to a habit, and then, because I felt so much better, I became “addicted” to it. |
| In other words, it went from you needing to do it to wanting to do it. |
| Is that why, when it comes to eating well and exercising, nothing ever seems to deter you? |
| Feeling better, yes. But, more because every morning, I walk into a large closet filled with size 2 clothing. |
| That's funny. |
| No, it is factual. I have been a clothes horse for decades, so have a significant investment hanging in my closet. And, since almost everything is timeless and classic, I would be extremely annoyed if it no longer fit. |
| Well, even if that’s something us “mere mortals” can’t relate to, at least it keeps you motivated. I never had anything like that in my life. |
| Really? I can name two things. |
| I’m not sure Natasha and Sawyer would want to be referred to as “things,” but I see your point. The funny thing is Sawyer is the one who got me started going to the gym and working out. |
| I tried for years, but am glad she had more luck. |
| I feel I did a better job staying fit when they were younger and truly needed me every day. Then again, maybe that was just because I always had to do a lot of running around. And I focused on healthy eating for all of us. |
| Sounds like excuses. Just because they no longer need you as cook and chauffeur, does not mean they do not need your life experience and unconditional love. Especially as they face the challenges of adulthood. |
| Are you trying to make me feel guilty or sad because I didn’t always focus on taking care of myself for them? |
| Neither. Merely pointing out we can always find reasons for not doing what we know we should do. Whether for ourselves or for the ones we love. Or both. |
| It’s ironic; I always thought doing things for myself was selfish, but I now understand that if I don’t take care of myself first, I won’t be able to help others. |
| Exactly, and it does not matter if you use your heart or your brain to get to the right answer, does it? |
When we first ran the post below, Red had never heard of “Dry January” (or “Damp January"), so Black wasn't surprised that she hadn't heard of a new phenomenon (especially with younger people) called "Dry Dating" (aka "Sober Dating"). The idea is to go on dates and see if there's chemistry when both people are fully themselves — no “liquid courage” allowed. And January’s the perfect month to test-drive it ...
| I keep getting emails about where to go for mocktails. I know alcohol-free cocktails, like Virgin Margaritas, have been around for a while, but I’d never heard that term before. Do you think it has to do with New Year’s resolutions? |
| It can if any of your resolutions are to loseweight, save money, sleep better. Or, drink less. Psychologically, January is the month when we “reset”, so a UK-based organization, Alcohol Change UK, started DryJanuary, where you abstain from drinking alcohol. |
| Perfect timing since many people shop, eat, and drink more than usual over the holidays. |
| I know you used to drink a glass of ColdDuck on New Year’s Eve, a tradition going back to our childhood, but that hardly counts as drinking. But, I have always wondered why you rarely drink, but never asked. |
| That may be the only thing you haven’t asked me. It isn’t for any moral or health reasons; it’s because, even many decades later, I still have vivid memories of overdoing it at a fraternity dance at college. Although lately, I’ve been drinking more than normal. |
| For you, that means more than one drink … a year. |
| Very funny, but pretty much true. However, after visiting Tennessee Hills Distillery in the fall, I did develop a taste for their flavored rum. So, between the ones I brought home and the bottles of Moscato that Natasha had delivered to me by Drizly as a surprise holiday gift, I’ve had more to drink this holiday season than ever before. |
| Well, I drank more this year, too. But, that is because, during COVID, I went over a year without a drink. For years, I used to go out to dinner several times a week and would always have a drink or two, but now do not go out as often. Combine that with a lack of dating, and myalcohol consumption is almost non-existent. |
| But your condo has a pantry that you converted into a beautiful bar with all those liquor bottles on display. And you’ve collected wine for years. |
| Yes, it looks enticing, but I do not drink alone. Never have. But, if I did, I would probably need to hide the liquor, or put yellow “caution tape” in front of the bar during Dry January. |
| That’s funny, but do you really think that people can go cold turkey for an entire month? That seems like a long time if you’re used to drinking on a regular basis. |
| Yes. Besides the fact many bars are taking advantage of Dry January to offer customers something new and different versus just alcohol-free versions of traditional cocktails, the demand for nonalcoholic beverages continues to increase as more people prioritize healthier lifestyles. Not to mention, many people now feel less social pressure to drink. |
| Please don’t start quoting statistics and studies! But don’t you think, come February, everyone will just go back to their “normal” habits? |
| Since you do not want me to mention any of the science, or the fact people are already drinking less, I will come at it another way. If once you start Dry January, you experience the health benefits, including more energy, why would you go back to your old habits? |
| Because it’s a habit? Sorry, I couldn’t resist. But good points, especially as we all know drinking can lead to health problems. Not to mention the risks of driving under the influence of alcohol. But I’d think there’s still some peer pressure to drink socially. |
| As more people are trying Dry January, or at least are aware of it, the more acceptable it becomes. And, the easier it is to find others to support you. Although sometimes you may need to avoid those people who do not. |
| Well, I’ve seen you drink this month. And you can’t blame it on me! What’s your excuse? |
| Dry January is not about having a perfect score. It is about reevaluating your relationship with alcohol. And, taking a night off does not mean the end of the effort. It just means it may be a Damp January. |
They may not be the most meaningful holidays, but they may be some of the most fun, so we’re rerunning this post. Of course, Red thinks popcorn is nothing to be taken lightly, since it gives her such happiness. But even Black has favorites (scroll to the bottom). What would be yours?
| It’s January, and everyone’s probably tired of reading about New Year’s resolutions. |
| Not me. Since I never make them, I never feel the need to read about them. |
| Of course, you don’t. So, what should we write about? |
| How about that we celebrate some of our favorite things in January? |
So many “National Days” in January are fun (we’ve written about them over the years) and remind us of some of our favorite things. (Can you pick which are Red’s favorite holidays and which are Black’s?) And whether or not you make resolutions, it’s always important to have a sense of humor and enjoy the simpler things in life …
- NATIONAL CLEAN YOUR DESK DAY: Resolutions Aside … A Clean Desk? Is That Even Possible???
- NATIONAL BAGEL DAY: Not A Trick Question ... Who Doesn’t Love Bagels?
- NATIONAL POPCORN DAY: Do People Really “Celebrate” Popcorn? Red Does!
- NATIONAL HUGGING DAY: Think Before … Hugging?!
- NATIONAL BACKWARD DAY: Celebrating Having Fun … And Success … By Being Backward?
Answer: Red’s favorites are Bagels, Popcorn, and Hugging. Black’s are Clean Desk, Bagels, and Backward.