Words & Banter

RED & BLACK … Live & Learn

Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash


Red's Head assets.rebelmouse.io


I can't believe that Sawyer's graduated from high school and will be off to college in a few months. It's so bittersweet. Especially as it seems like only yesterday you were bringing me dinner in the hospital the day she was born – it was wedding soup from my favorite Italian restaurant.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


Well, since that has now become one of her favorite restaurants, that is where we should go to celebrate the start of her exciting new journey.


Red's Head assets.rebelmouse.io


Exciting is an understatement. As soon as she finished her Zoom session with the orientation team at Belmont University, she came downstairs and talked a mile a minute about all the incredible course offerings, and before I knew it, she opened her laptop and was going through everything with me.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


When she showed it to me, I was impressed by the range of courses available, and it made me want to go back to college. But, I was most impressed by her enthusiasm and commitment to opening herself up to opportunities that she might not have previously considered.


Red's Head assets.rebelmouse.io


I know! For years, starting when we taught at KIPP Houston High School, you've told students that college was a step-along-the-way, not a destination. And the perfect opportunity to try new things.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


I also said, "Homework never ends; it just is called 'research' when you get older."


Red's Head assets.rebelmouse.io


Yes, although they didn't like hearing that. Most people think that once you walk across the stage to get your diploma, you're done. But I found out the hard way that learning never ends. And it wasn't until I was 40+ years old!


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


And, unlike when you were in school and wanted to learn, you initially resisted learning anything new. You created mental roadblocks and were your own worst enemy.


Red's Head assets.rebelmouse.io


Fine. I didn't think I could "do" personal finance until you made me try. And although I may not like doing it, it was truly a life lesson. And not just for me, but for Natasha and Sawyer, as I was able to share what I learned with them.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


You may not have proactively wanted to become a lifelong learner, but sometimes you have no choice. For example, when you resigned yourself to get over your resistance to technology. And, FYI, "learning to adapt" is a great skill to have.


Red's Head assets.rebelmouse.io


I'm not sure I'd call it a skill so much as the fear of you giving me grief for not "getting over it". Like a few weeks ago, when I was on my iPad and "fell off" of our Zoom business meeting. I just wanted to let you continue and update me later rather than figure out how to rejoin the meeting on my computer, but I knew that wasn't an option.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


You figured it out, and quicker than I expected. Zoom meetings are an excellent example of how the pandemic has forced people to learn new things. Research shows that people who are adaptable, who are willing to learn new things, who embrace change are ultimately the most successful.


Red's Head assets.rebelmouse.io


I don't know if you're talking personally, or in the workplace, or both, but I've never thought of "being adaptable" as a skill. But it makes sense since none of us knows what the future will look like. After all, if someone had told me when Natasha was born that one day, I'd be on a video "phone call" with her on another continent using a computer I could hold in my hand, I'd have thought they were crazy – not only about the technology but about my ability to use the technology.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


Exactly. School can only teach you what is known at the time. After that, you are on your own. Although I find it ironic that educators stress the need to develop lifelong learners, yet the education "system" still does things the way they have always been done. Sounds like, "Do as I say – not what I do." Regardless, I believe a critical part of learning comes from trying new things, taking chances, and even failing, as long as you learn from your mistakes.


Red's Head assets.rebelmouse.io


As a mom, letting your children "fail" goes against your instincts to protect them, although conceptually, I understand that sometimes that's the only way to learn. Plus, as much as I'd like to tell them what to do, if I do, they'll never learn to make their own decisions. I know I'll miss Sawyer a lot when she goes off to college, just as I did when Natasha moved abroad. But I also know that she'll be learning more than what's taught in the classroom as she'll be learning how to live away from home.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


Yes, there are many things to be learned from living life … they are called "life lessons" for a reason. But, like learning anything else new, you need to be open to the concept.


Red's Head assets.rebelmouse.io


Easier said than done! Unlike you, who approaches everything with a positive mindset and a love of learning, us"mere mortals" find that learning new things isn't always easy and can be uncomfortable.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


That is where you have to find the right motivation – whether it is to improve aspects of your personal life, advance your career, or just make life more interesting without necessarily having a specific objective.


Red's Head assets.rebelmouse.io


That's how Sawyer's approaching her academic "life" at college – open to learning new things and going in new directions. Unfortunately, that's something that often gets lost or put to the side once we leave school. Unless we're forced into it.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


Whether proactive or reactive, it does not change the fact that you are never too young or too old to be a lifelong learner.

Want to read other columns? Here's a list.

Photo by alzay on iStock

It may seem odd to talk about footprints in the snow when most of us are experiencing record heat. But, as we all go through our busy days, it is easy to overlook how the steps we take in life, whether intentional or unplanned, good or bad, lead us to where we are today. And, while it is easy to focus on the past, the future is an untrodden path, waiting for our next step …

Back in 2004, I met an older couple participating in a Ferrari rally, and after a deep conversation over a long lunch, they became dear friends. It was an event that would change my life in many ways, and several months later, shortly after my husband “surprised” me with a divorce, the husband sent me an email that so moved me that I put it in my “Blue Book”. (A Circa planner with a blue leather cover, hence the name, that includes not only my calendars but also a section with a few things I re-read on a regular basis.)

Last month, he passed away. I always made a point of letting them know that “Footprints” had become an important part of my life. They are words to live by. And, in honor of my dear friend, who is loved and missed, I want to share that email. With no edits … as we do not get to edit our lives …

Keep Reading ...Show less
Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

To say that this summer has been hot is an understatement, but summer has always been a season to enjoy longer days, the slower pace, and summer eating. And just because we’re being bombarded with pumpkin-flavored everything, indicating Fall’s just around the corner, it doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy the summer way of life.

When the summer started, Red struggled to balance the feeling that she should be getting more done with the “extra hours” vs. wanting to enjoy more leisure time. Of course, Black couldn’t resist pointing out,

There are 24 hours in a day, regardless of season. The extra daylight makes you feel like you have more hours. Regardless, summer is a great time to rethink how you spend those “extra” hours.

So, even though the calendar may indicate we only have a few weeks left of summer, it’s not too late to think about summer hours … and how you can adjust your mindset. Which can last, well, forever.

To read our full conversation, which includes Black suggestion of possibly doing a cookbook (was she serious or merely being her typical sarcastic self?), click here.

Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

I know it wasn’t your kind of movie, but I can’t stop thinking about the Barbie movie.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

It is if I look at it as a “research project” versus pure entertainment.


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

Of course, you did. But I do understand. I know Sawyer was very excited about going to the sneak preview the night before it officially opened, not only to be entertained but to watch it through the lens (pun intended) of her classes at Belmont since she’s majoring in Creative & Entertainment Industries.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

I know she was excited to see it again with us. It is one of those movies where you will pick up on different things with each viewing.


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

So, does that mean you’re going to see it a second time?
Keep Reading ...Show less