Words & Banter

It’s Just Dating – It’s Just Business

Photo by malerapaso on iStock

I was not actively looking to date, but when I heard the message from the director of the matchmaking service I had hired almost a decade ago (and had not spoken with in over eight years), I was intrigued. And surprised. Not only because it had been so long since I last spoke with her, but because our last call had been to tell them, in no uncertain terms, I was done with them. I had even considered retaining legal counsel to get my money back but realized my attorneys might end up costing me more than the fee I had paid.

Hindsight should be 20-20, but at the time I put my membership on permanent hold, I thought it was because they were not listening to what I said I wanted in a potential relationship. (Do not get me started on the difference between "hearing" and "listening.") But the reality? They are a business and are playing the numbers game. They take your money, arrange the required number of dates, and if your requirements are fairly generic, can probably "match" you up. If you are a little more challenging (or have deeper pockets), they attempt to upsell you to a VIP service.

So, I agreed to their proposed date, and as I told my sister the morning after,


We met at about 6:30 p.m., and the conversation flowed easily, with many shared interests and attitudes (even politics, even though I have been told that is never something to talk about on a first date). Before you knew it, we were closing the place down four hours later. We had talked about this website, and he wanted to know how to find it, so I gave him my business card. And, he gave me a gentlemanly kiss on the cheek when we parted at valet.

And?

Later that day, the service had one of the administrative assistants call me for a debriefing. They apparently had a checklist of questions (what did we discuss, how long did the date last, what did I think of his physical appearance, etc.) and concluded with whether I would see him again. I hesitated, saying that I would – but that my gut told me I was probably not what he was looking for in terms of a romantic partner. (When I told Red the same thing, she said I still should go out with him again and see.)

So, imagine my surprise when the director of the matchmaking service called me late that afternoon, leaving a message that she wanted "to gloat." When we ultimately spoke, she told me that she was right when she thought that we were perfect for one another. That he had said he really enjoyed getting to know me, that I was a "firecracker," and a very interesting person. She reiterated how good she is at matchmaking, and that I should keep her updated on how this develops.

I have not heard from him. And, if not for the director telling me differently, I did not expect to as I did not think I was what he was seeking. But, imagine if I had gotten my hopes up and was anxiously awaiting his call.

So, I wonder … should I call her and merely leave the message,

How do you retract "a gloat"?
Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

As you know, I love history, but I appreciate many people don’t.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

I am one of those people, so not sure where you are going with this.


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

Exactly. So, when you first wanted to talk to me about the history of credit cards, I should have known something was up.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

Or, at least been curious.


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

How was I supposed to know it would make a difference in my life?


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

Why else would I want to give you a “history lesson”?
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Photo by mevans on iStock
Let’s be very clear. Autism has no correlation with intelligence; it’s a developmental disability (or what Black refers to as “DIFF-abilities”). And it’s a spectrum disorder, which means each autistic person has their unique mix of abilities, challenges, and ways of seeing the world (can’t that be said of all of us?!) So, as we celebrate World Autism Acceptance Week, remember it’s more than just awareness – it’s about acceptance.

red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io


Did you know that April's Autism Awareness Month? I wasn't aware (pun intended) of it until I read our local homeowner's monthly newsletter and it caught my eye.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


Actually, last month the founding organization, the Autism Society, changed "Awareness" to "Acceptance" to foster inclusivity, as knowing about something is very different from accepting it. But I am guessing that is not the point of this call.


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io


Although it isn't autism, it reminded me of years ago when we found out that Natasha has learning disabilities.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


I think you mean DIFF-abilities.


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io


Of course, that's another thing I remember. I was focused on the negative aspects of her diagnosis until you asked me, point-blank, "Why are they called disabilities?" And proceeded to explain that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


Exactly! Imagine the world if everyone excelled at math, but flunked English. Or, a world of lawyers, but no musicians. Some people are better at social skills, while others excel at handling technical data. Why not just say that people who have different skillsets and abilities have DIFF-abilities versus making them feel like they have shortcomings?
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Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

As much of a history buff as I am, I’m embarrassed to admit that for a long time, I didn’t know March was Women’s History Month. But now that I do, I’m amazed by all the inspirational stories of women’s remarkable achievements.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

Too bad Natasha and Sawyer do not still live at home; it would be fun to start a conversation by asking them what women they find inspiring.


Red's HeadRed assets.rebelmouse.io

I already know who they would pick. The first woman to race the road course at Indianapolis Motor Speedway. And I’d have to agree with them. Your Ferrari racing has made an impact on so many people. But especially girls.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

Until you mentioned it several years ago, I never thought about that. In the 1970s, I was one of the few women in business school. I then made a career in the male-dominated oil and gas industry. I am used to being a “token” female.


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

Trust me. I watch people whenever we’ve done speaking engagements. It’s predictable ... we put up the family tree, and Natasha and Sawyer get awws, but your two racecars get everyone’s attention.
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