Words & Banter

It’s Just Dating – It’s Just Business

Photo by malerapaso on iStock

I was not actively looking to date, but when I heard the message from the director of the matchmaking service I had hired almost a decade ago (and had not spoken with in over eight years), I was intrigued. And surprised. Not only because it had been so long since I last spoke with her, but because our last call had been to tell them, in no uncertain terms, I was done with them. I had even considered retaining legal counsel to get my money back but realized my attorneys might end up costing me more than the fee I had paid.

Hindsight should be 20-20, but at the time I put my membership on permanent hold, I thought it was because they were not listening to what I said I wanted in a potential relationship. (Do not get me started on the difference between "hearing" and "listening.") But the reality? They are a business and are playing the numbers game. They take your money, arrange the required number of dates, and if your requirements are fairly generic, can probably "match" you up. If you are a little more challenging (or have deeper pockets), they attempt to upsell you to a VIP service.

So, I agreed to their proposed date, and as I told my sister the morning after,

We met at about 6:30 p.m., and the conversation flowed easily, with many shared interests and attitudes (even politics, even though I have been told that is never something to talk about on a first date). Before you knew it, we were closing the place down four hours later. We had talked about this website, and he wanted to know how to find it, so I gave him my business card. And, he gave me a gentlemanly kiss on the cheek when we parted at valet.


Later that day, the service had one of the administrative assistants call me for a debriefing. They apparently had a checklist of questions (what did we discuss, how long did the date last, what did I think of his physical appearance, etc.) and concluded with whether I would see him again. I hesitated, saying that I would – but that my gut told me I was probably not what he was looking for in terms of a romantic partner. (When I told Red the same thing, she said I still should go out with him again and see.)

So, imagine my surprise when the director of the matchmaking service called me late that afternoon, leaving a message that she wanted "to gloat." When we ultimately spoke, she told me that she was right when she thought that we were perfect for one another. That he had said he really enjoyed getting to know me, that I was a "firecracker," and a very interesting person. She reiterated how good she is at matchmaking, and that I should keep her updated on how this develops.

I have not heard from him. And, if not for the director telling me differently, I did not expect to as I did not think I was what he was seeking. But, imagine if I had gotten my hopes up and was anxiously awaiting his call.

So, I wonder … should I call her and merely leave the message,

How do you retract "a gloat"?
Photo by OnTheRunPhoto for iStock

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