Every day is a good day to tell people you love that you love them.
BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: Red asked Black if she had any specific thoughts about Valentine's Day, expecting her to merely refer to our February column, Red & Black … A Year-Round Valentine.
Instead, Black commented that she thought it was most appropriate that Bumble (the dating app that seeks to empower women) went public this week. She started talking about the company, and how the IPO (Initial Public Offering) made Bumble's 31-year-old founder the world's youngest self-made woman billionaire, and then said she'd try to find a general interest link as she had been reading about in business publications.
Red offered some superficial thanks for the information, but was glad that she wasn't on a Zoom call with her sister as she was rolling her eyes, realizing she never should have asked her "all-business", non-emotional sister about Valentine's Day. And how she should've just sent these Valentine's Day wishes on her own:
To everyone -- couples (whether married, in serious relationships, or just starting out), parents and children, friends, really anyone who celebrates Valentine's Day – here's wishing you a wonderful day filled with love, friendship, and happiness. And don't forget that even after you're done celebrating Valentine's Day, it's still nice to tell the people you love that you, well, love them!
Talking isn't the same as communicating. And hearing isn't the same as listening. Think about it.
Being an effective communicator, whether in our personal lives or at work, is a critical skill (Black thinks it's a super-power), but one-size-doesn't-fit-all as we each use very different methods and styles … ranging from lots of words and talking stuffed animals (Red) to bullet points (Black).
When Red learned that June was Effective Communications Month, she had to laugh, as the first thought that popped into her head was,
Oh, Black will have a field day with this given my tendency to blah-blah-blah. Plus, I don't know how many times she's told me that whatever point I'm trying to make often gets lost in my "sea of words". Of course, when she's told me this in person, I get the added emphasis of seeing her roll her eyes. At least, it's not what I call "The Look", which is a step beyond the rolling of her eyes when you can only imagine what she's thinking, but you know it's not good. But, I digress, which, I guess, is part of my communication "challenge".
The fact Red's warm and fuzzy, and likes to couch her words (whether spoken or written) so as not to hurt anyone's feelings, and to provide full explanations to avoid misunderstanding, is a good thing, but is still only half the equation. Communication requires both the sending — and the receiving — of a message. But if the other party isn't listening, it falls on … well, deaf ears. Which often means you repeat yourself (oh, and we all know how our tone of voice changes when we're saying something for the millionth time), and although it may initially have been said with good intentions, ends up being seen as nagging.
Black, on the other hand, has never been accused of being quiet or shy, and given her extremely pragmatic business-like personality, has a much more direct communication style. Some of which Red recognizes can be useful,
I've often said that you write, talk, and probably even dream in bullet points. And while I might think of them as "abrupt" at times, there's no question that they provide a very clear and succinct way of communicating. Which is why I preface some of my longer emails that cover lots of topics and explanations, with, "I'm borrowing some of Black's beloved bullet points …"
So, what's the most effective method? Well, you can spend hours on the internet reading countless articles about the benefits of effective communications, the various types of communications (not everything is verbal and written — think about things like body language and facial expressions), and ways to improve communication skills, but Black tends to look at things slightly backward …
The reality is that we each have our own style of communicating, but we need to remember that communication is a two-way street, and the objective is connecting with other people, and sharing thoughts and ideas. Sometimes the best way to get our point across is to work backward and think how the other person will receive what we want to express. And then listening, truly listening, to their feedback.
We all “celebrate” Memorial Day differently, but we all should remember it’s a day to honor those who gave their lives serving this country.
Memorial Day may be the unofficial start of summer, and Red remembers celebrating over the years with family get-togethers, barbeques, and pool parties; whereas Black “celebrates” most holidays by having a quiet day to work uninterrupted, but it’s important never to forget the significance of the holiday.
For Red,
It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the festivities, but as a lover of history, I was fascinated to learn the history of Memorial Day goes back to the Civil War. But what’s most important is that we each find a way to remember that Memorial Day honors those men and women who’ve given their lives for this country.While Black believes,
Today is a day to put aside politics and think about patriotism. It is about gratitude. About sacrifice. About honoring those who paid the greatest price for believing in something that is bigger than all of us.
Think about what the day means to you or read the words of others who pay respect to fallen members of the military (here and here). And join us in observing the National Moment of Remembrance at 3:00 p.m. local time.
BANTER BITE BASICS
The intent was always to give two perspectives on any given topic — Red’s and Black’s. And some things will never change. But how we’ve formatted BANTER BITES has … and we see the value in providing both long and short versions.
BANTER BITE BACKSTORY
Everything with us is a story. Years ago, we were working with a branding company, and one of the team imagined us as cartoon characters. (Thank you, Puneet!) People told us they loved our sisterly banter, so we started doing a single-frame cartoon to introduce our monthly columns. Then we used them on slides at speaking engagements (Black’s corporate background taught her how BORING PowerPoint presentations can be, so she refused to have slides filled with words).
Then we modified them so each of us was in our respective environments — Red in the kitchen and Black in her office — and people suggested we syndicate them. (Black, of course, then researched syndication.) And we even used them at a pitch meeting with Hasbro. When we started working with an animation company and saw their version of our “creatures”, we decided they needed to be front and center.
Fairly early on, Black suggested to Red that we start a daily BANTER BITE that we could post on our website and also social media. It could be about something happening in our lives, current events, some obscure fact/study Black happened across, the list goes on and on …Red’s reply? (Keep in mind, she’s the self-proclaimed queen of blah-blah-blah.) “I’m not sure we’ll have enough material to be able to post every day.”
THE REALITY?
To make her point, Black started churning them out based on our conversations — and not only did it seem like there was something every day, but some days they just kept coming, and soon there was a huge backlog.
No, we didn’t publish them all, and we usually don’t post anything on our website on weekends (except for holiday wishes) because we strongly believe weekends shouldn’t be spent on gizmos, although that doesn’t stop Black from working. (FYI, our social media guru schedules posts on Sundays because that’s what the data supports, although we still think people should digitally disconnect on weekends.)
The feedback? Almost instantly,
People told us our BANTER BITES are fun and quick to read. But also relevant to their day-to-day lives – and not just on the day they’re published.
In other words, they didn't have an expiration date! Amazing, since in today's world of social media and constant news, even something from earlier in the day can be considered old or outdated.
FIXING WHAT WASN’T BROKEN
They started as a two-frame cartoon with a sentence or two below them. Then we were advised that, for SEO purposes (in other words, to “please” the online algorithms), we needed to have more words and key phrases. So, we expanded them.
Now, we realize there’s room for both. Some will be short and to the point, while on others we may have more to say (but you’ll have a “keep reading” option).
P.S. – If there’s a topic you want us to talk about, you can email us at Banter@RedandBlack.email.
Don’t Expect A Compliment From A Sarcastic Sister — But Have A Comeback