| It's already February and my plans to eat better and exercise in the New Year are still sitting on a "To Do" list. Yes, I know, this happens to lots of people, but that doesn't make me feel any better. |
| You and your lists. Things like lose weight, exercise, eat healthy are too vague to put on a list. If you were a smoker, would you put "Stop Smoking" on a list? |
| OK, poor choice of words. They're not really on a written list, they're just goals I set for myself. |
| That is even worse. Do you expect you will magically do it without any daily reminders – or interim target goals? And, what is your motivation? |
| Thanks. That makes me feel even worse. |
| Get over it. You cannot change the past. But, February is a perfect time to start again. |
| February is too much like January – cooler weather that lends itself to comfort food and just wanting to nest. Plus, it gets dark early. |
| Those are just excuses. February is perfect because it is American Heart Month. And, heart disease is the leading cause of death – for both men and women. |
| That's definitely a good reason. The irony is that I know what to do. I just can't seem to find the motivation to keep it going for more than a few days. But when it comes to eating well and exercising, nothing seems to deter you. |
| That is because every morning, I walk into a large closet filled with size 2 clothing. |
| That's funny. |
| Funny or not, it is the truth. I have always been a clothes horse. Now, decades later, I have a significant investment hanging in my closet. And, since almost everything is timeless and classic, I would be extremely annoyed if it no longer fit. |
| Well, even if it's something us "mere mortals" can't relate to, at least it keeps you motivated. I just don't have anything like that in my life. |
| Really?! I can name two things. |
|
Well, I'm not sure Natasha and Sawyer would want to be referred to as
"things", but I see your point. I think I did a
better job staying fit when they were
younger and truly needed me every day. Plus, when I was cooking for them, I was
more focused on healthy eating. Now that they're older, they don't need me as
much.
|
| That sounds like more excuses. They may no longer need you as cook and chauffeur, but they need your life experience and unconditional love as they struggle with the challenges of young adulthood. |
| Ok, I don't know whether to start feeling guilty right now or sad because I'm not taking good enough care of myself to be there for them. And hopefully for a long time to come. |
| The third option is to stop being so dramatic, and just start taking better care of yourself. Although Jewish guilt is often an excellent motivator, that was not my intention. |
| Thanks for reminding me that taking care of myself is NOT selfish, because it's about more than me. |
| Do you remember the airplane and oxygen mask analogy? |
| Oh, yes. It was one of your trick questions. You asked me if I was on a plane with the girls and we lost altitude, causing the oxygen masks to drop, would I first put the mask on myself or the girls. I answered the girls, of course. You then pointed out that if I didn't take care of myself first, I wouldn't be in a position to help them. |
| So, if you remembered that, why have you not been taking better care of yourself? |
| Easy. Because day-to- day living keeps distracting me. At least I'm good with having all my annual exams done because a reminder pops up on my computer. And before you ask, yes, that includes having my blood pressure and cholesterol checked. |
| Good, because getting "your numbers" is an important first step in diagnosing heart disease. But, is it critical to realize that since it is the #1 killer of men and women, we are all at risk. You always think it will happen to someone else. |
| Well, let me break the news to you, that's just human nature. Plus, most people aren't into numbers like you are. But now that I think about it, given our family history, we may be more at risk than other people. |
| How many more reasons do you need to start eating healthier and exercising more?How about the financial Implications? The cost of medical care if you get sick. What if you have a stroke and need long-term care? |
| Just the thought of that makes me sick. |
| Cute, but the good news is that you can always be a burden on your children; whereas since I live alone, if something happens to me, I will have to hire someone to help me. |
| I'll ignore the "burden" comment, but I hope you know that I'm always here for you. |
| I appreciate that. But, between my stubbornness and independence, not to mention, my closest full of clothes, I rather do everything possible to avoid that scenario. That includes being aware of warning symptoms and going to the doctor sooner versus later. |
| Says the woman who can afford to have a stress test and other diagnostic tests done when there weren't even any symptoms. |
| I wanted a baseline for future comparisons. And, peace of mind that there were no "silent symptoms". |
| As a mom, I'm more inclined to take a "do what I say, not what I do" approach. I've always taken the girls to the doctors when something was wrong, but not myself. Let's face it, most of the time stuff goes away, so I'm not going to start running to the doctor for every little thing. |
|
I am merely saying that you cannot be an ostrich with your head in the sand when it comes to your
health. Ignoring symptoms does
not make them go away. Not taking care of yourself
can have serious implications.
But, it is up to you what you do … you can make smart
decisions now or regret it later.
|
| Well, that's brutally honest. |
| Yes, it is. Would this work better? … Since people associate the heart with love, take care of your heart because then you are also taking care of those you love. |
| Ok, you being warm and fuzzy is a bit alarming. But it has motivated me to go for a walk and think about how I'm going to not only begin, but maintain, my "new and improved" lifestyle. |
| Mission accomplished. |
Want to read other columns? Here's a list.
Remember summer reruns on TV? Well, this month’s column is a first … it’s a “rerun” of our July 2020 column, except we added the word “CRITICAL” in the title. Because, four years later, we feel it’s very sad (and scary) that our sentiments about our country’s leaders having the strength, courage, and conviction to be independent thinkers are still relevant (maybe even more than before). So, the Fourth of July may be behind us, but Election Day will be here before you know it.
| I keep forgetting to ask you, since Sawyer is away at camp, what did you do for July 4th? |
|
Well, it was
a very different Fourth of July. No
kids. No barbeque. No fireworks.
|
| I know most of the fireworks were cancelled, but is your barbeque grill broken? |
| No, this year I decided to declare my "independence" from doing a big holiday grocery shop, major prep work, and cooking outdoors in Texas heat. |
| I wish there were more people willing to declare their independence. |
| Somehow I don't think you're talking about me making an easy pasta dish in the comfort of my air-conditioned house vs. standing over a hot barbeque on a hot day. |
| No, but the quote, "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen" does apply to a bunch of elected government "leaders" – and I use that terms loosely as they actually seem to be "followers." You cannot tell me they do not see how their actions – or inactions – are hurting their constituents. |
| Although I agree with you, I can see where some elected officials feel the need to maintain the party line. Like you've always told me, you have to pick your battles. |
| Yes, but we are talking about people's lives. You are the history buff, so you well know there was a time when people would give their lives to do what they felt was right – for their families, for their community, for their country. Even if that meant standing up to those in control. |
| Yes, but I think you're being a bit dramatic. Which is interesting as I was the theater major, not you. After all, equating sacrificing your life to taking a stand about your beliefs is different from leaders who aren't willing to "speak up" to "higher-ups". |
| Really? One is risking their life – the other, maybe, their career. True leadership is about doing what is right. And, if you feel that something that is wrong, take an independent stand. It is about having the strength, courage, and conviction to do what you believe is right. |
| Sounds like you watched "The Patriot" over the holiday weekend. |
| Never heard of it, but you are the movie-goer, not me. Although we both know your primary motivation is the popcorn. |
| True. Anyway, it starred Mel Gibson as an American colonist, and although an "action movie" showing our fight to win independence from Britain, it still explores those exact themes. America may not be a perfect country, but it has always stood up and been willing to fight for what it believes in. |
| Yes, but that is harder to do when leaders are not leading, but rather just following. Being a true leader requires independent thinking. | |
| That reminds me of something someone told me decades ago about a colleague they worked with, "He would be a great leader, if only people would follow him." It definitely made me laugh. |
| Sometimes you do not realize the wisdom of a true leader until much later. Initially, they may be measured by doing what is popular or convenient. |
| I love history, and there are countless examples of just that, but I'm not sure how you begin to crack that nut. Today, thinking, yet alone independent thinking, isn't what a lot of people do well. |
| OK, Miss History. After we got our independence from England, how were we ruled? Who made all the decisions? |
| Is this a trick question? |
| No, I do not know the answer, and I am trying to understand what happened and why. |
| First, my disclaimer that I know more about Tudor history than American history, but to keep it short and simple, the 13 states had to find a way to work together, and the original structure (if you're ever on Jeopardy remember "The Articles of Confederation") gave the states a lot of power. However, that didn't work out so well, and after just a few years, there was the brilliant idea to create The Constitution, which establishes and defines the separation of powers. |
| So, it required a lot of creative thinking, with an end goal of what was best for "We the people". In other words, when our country was born – it was led by independent thinkers not people that merely followed along. |
| Yes, but that's history. Good luck turning back that clock! It would require those "up the ranks" to relinquish some of their power. And need I remind you that we had to fight the War of Independence to achieve that? |
| That history fact, I do know. However, I think we have recently witnessed the importance – and power – of independent thinking. And, combined with good leadership, it can result in great things. |
| Absolutely! And to say there's such an overwhelming need for that at this critical time would be a huge understatement. Maybe it's time for another revolution, although this time make it peaceful. |
| The War of Independent Thinking. Now that would warrant fireworks. |
How you celebrate July 4th may change from year to year (Red will still enjoy a quiet holiday, but this year will be reading as it may take all summer to get through “War and Peace”), but what should never change is remembering WHY (one of Black’s favorite words) we celebrate as well as the sacrifices made to live in a free country …
| This is going to be a very unusual July 4 th for me, with neither girl being home. Natasha always hated the fireworks, but Sawyer would insist we do all the traditional things – barbequing, lots of watermelon, and then watching the fireworks in the Texas heat and humidity. So, this year, I plan to make it a really “cool” holiday … staying in the air-conditioned house, watching a movie or one of my TV series, and celebrating my day of independence from any “mom” responsibilities with a big bucket of freshly popped popcorn! |
| Well, everyone celebrates differently. But, when I think of Independence Day, I think about the challenges our Founding Fathers faced when they drafted the Declaration of Independence , especially as they did not always agree on issues. Challenges our nation continues to face (it is a holiday, so I will not get into the increasingly divisive aspects of politics). And, I cannot help but wonder how many people realize the extent of the sacrifices made by those who signed it in exchange for our country’s freedom. Which is why, as we celebrate July 4th, we need to remember, |
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We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
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What do you get when you cross Flag Day (June 14) with June being Effective Communication Month? Well, if you include Black in the mix, you get one of Red’s favorite memories … and a unique way to think about the importance of communicating – whether in your personal or professional life. And especially if you’re in a racecar!
| This past weekend, I noticed a bunch of flags on my street and wondered why since July 4 th is still almost a month away. But this morning, I learned that today's Flag Day. |
| Well, for someone who likes to decorate for the holidays, I would have thought you would have known all about it. |
| I've heard of it, but I never really thought much about it, let alone when it is. I knew it had to do with the American flag, but it surprised me that it has nothing to do with Betsy Ross, which legend has made the first flag, although it seems there's no evidence to support that. |
| If you want an interesting "story", read about why the American flag is called Old Glory . Regardless, the American flag, like all flags, communicates a message. |
| I know you like to connect odd dots, but only you would see a connection between flags and communications. |
| Not really. In the case of the American flag, they needed something to communicate a new nation fighting for its freedom . But remember when I gave Natasha a set of racing flags years ago? |
| How could I forget? It was a very difficult and challenging time. And although you had already made me realize that different people like to communicate differently , the problem with Natasha wasn't so much how to communicate with her as figuring out when. We were frustrated and walking around on eggshells because we never knew when she was in a good mood or a bad mood, when it was safe to talk to her, and when she needed to be left alone. |
| Sometimes flags are the perfect way to communicate a message when words are not an option. |
| Leave it to you to use racing flags to solve what seemed like an impossible situation in a way that was not only clever but appealed to her because of her love of cars and racing. And we know where she got that from! |
| It just seemed logical. As did the cheat sheet where I basically "translated" the racing meanings of the different color flags for your use. For example, in racing, a green flag can either be the start of a race, a re-start, or just displayed to communicate safe racing. With Natasha, it would mean it was "safe" to talk to her. In racing, a yellow flag means caution and to slow down, which needs no further explanation. |
| I remember her telling me, quite emphatically, that a black flag means "Go away." Which made me laugh because it just seemed so, well, appropriate, given that's something I could see you saying. |
| On the track, it means to go to the pits, usually because you are in trouble. So, I cannot argue with your comment about it being appropriate for me. But, keep in mind that a red flag means to "Stop!" |