Banter Bites

Favorite. Accessory. Always. And Forever.

Red still loves the amazing 50th birthday gift she received from Black (described below) but only uses it on special occasions. (She can hear Black saying, “Using it on an ordinary day will make the day feel special.”) However, Red’s more excited about Black’s 60th birthday present (although it’s on order and hasn’t arrived yet) … another Hermes handbag. But the Evelyne is a “casual” design (Red can’t imagine anything from one of the world’s most exclusive fashion houses being called “casual”) that Red plans to use every day. Of course, she can hear Black telling her, “Well, on a cost-per-wearing basis, this one will be a bargain. Although Red thinks “bargain” and Hermes don’t quite belong in the same sentence.

National Handbag Day may be a new holiday (it was started in 2013 by purseblog), but people have been obsessed with handbags for centuries. The only difference is now they have an official day of celebration.


BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: Red has never been known for her clothing and accessories, and it's safe to say never will be, but that doesn't mean she hasn't admired many of Black's incredible handbags over the years. In fact, there was one particular bag (a black Hermès Birkin) that she downright coveted to the point that Black used to say that she'd leave it to her in her will, and then would pause and ask, "Does that mean I now need a food taster?" Several years later, Red's was shocked (and thrilled) when Black bought her one for her 50th birthday, and although Red doesn't use it very often (she can't get herself to take it to grocery stores or to run errands), it still makes her incredibly happy to see the big orange box in her closet.

When it comes to handbags, Black can't help but reminisce (something she typically doesn't do) about one of her marriage counseling sessions with her ex-husband, Larry. He was lamenting, "She doesn't respect my money." At which point, Black couldn't help but point out that you respect people. You respect their ability to make money. To save money. Even to spend wisely. But you don't respect "things" or money. To which her ex commented, "That's semantics, but the bottom line is you don't respect my money." To which Black nonchalantly replied, "And, you do not respect my handbags."

This is one of Red’s favorite Banter Bites in large part because of Black’s “corny” puns, but also because fresh corn is a summer staple – whether cooked on the grill or in the microwave, whether eaten on its own or as a primary ingredient in refreshing summer salads


This may be one of the corniest things you’ll ever read.

BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: It’s just a vegetable, so how can it possibly elicit such a strong reaction from Red, while, for Black, it’s more a source of amusement and even, it turns out, admiration?

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Think you can avoid artificial intelligence? Think again …

BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: Red already fights technology at every turn, preferring to keep her ostrich head in the sand, plus, she finds Artificial Intelligence (AI) scary; whereas Black knows ignoring reality merely postpones the inevitable, so she’s started playing with AI to understand it better …

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A man better known for his death than his life, although Red, the straight-A student and history lover, immediately thinks of the costly and controversial movie of his life. (Well, technically, it was the life of Cleopatra.) Black, of course, focuses on business – leadership lessons, including the power of words, although she surprises Red with some food trivia. But the fact July’s named after him is the perfect excuse to rerun one of Red’s favorite Banter Bites …

Quick! If someone says "Julius Caesar," what comes to mind?

BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: Almost everyone has heard of Julius Caesar, but how many of us really know much about him, or at least that's what Red starts to wonder when she receives the usual flippant, but still accurate, reply from her sister, after feeling very proud that she knew that July was named after the famous Roman.

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