Banter Bites

Favorite. Accessory. Always. And Forever.

Red still loves the amazing 50th birthday gift she received from Black (described below) but only uses it on special occasions. (She can hear Black saying, “Using it on an ordinary day will make the day feel special.”) However, Red’s more excited about Black’s 60th birthday present (although it’s on order and hasn’t arrived yet) … another Hermes handbag. But the Evelyne is a “casual” design (Red can’t imagine anything from one of the world’s most exclusive fashion houses being called “casual”) that Red plans to use every day. Of course, she can hear Black telling her, “Well, on a cost-per-wearing basis, this one will be a bargain. Although Red thinks “bargain” and Hermes don’t quite belong in the same sentence.

National Handbag Day may be a new holiday (it was started in 2013 by purseblog), but people have been obsessed with handbags for centuries. The only difference is now they have an official day of celebration.


BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: Red has never been known for her clothing and accessories, and it's safe to say never will be, but that doesn't mean she hasn't admired many of Black's incredible handbags over the years. In fact, there was one particular bag (a black Hermès Birkin) that she downright coveted to the point that Black used to say that she'd leave it to her in her will, and then would pause and ask, "Does that mean I now need a food taster?" Several years later, Red's was shocked (and thrilled) when Black bought her one for her 50th birthday, and although Red doesn't use it very often (she can't get herself to take it to grocery stores or to run errands), it still makes her incredibly happy to see the big orange box in her closet.

When it comes to handbags, Black can't help but reminisce (something she typically doesn't do) about one of her marriage counseling sessions with her ex-husband, Larry. He was lamenting, "She doesn't respect my money." At which point, Black couldn't help but point out that you respect people. You respect their ability to make money. To save money. Even to spend wisely. But you don't respect "things" or money. To which her ex commented, "That's semantics, but the bottom line is you don't respect my money." To which Black nonchalantly replied, "And, you do not respect my handbags."

Today’s a national holiday … for a reason. And although it may be a day of fun, festivities, and maybe even relaxation, it’s important to stop and think about the true meaning of the day …

We all “celebrate” Memorial Day differently, but we all should remember it’s a day to honor those who gave their lives serving this country.

BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: Memorial Day may be the unofficial start of summer, and Red remembers celebrating over the years with family get-togethers, barbeques, and pool parties; whereas Black “celebrates” most holidays by having a quiet day to work uninterrupted, but it’s important never to forget the significance of the holiday.

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If you’re looking for a reason not to mow, there’s logic behind letting it grow …

BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: As is often the case, Red hadn’t heard of the latest trend, “No Mow May,” which is all about lawn maintenance (or the lack of it) until Black started sending her articles about it.

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It’s hard to imagine one holiday celebrates … spring, women’s fertility, workers, and labor rights. But it shouldn’t surprise you that even though it dates back thousands of years, we each “dance around” different aspects of May Day.

If you’ve never thought about May Day, don’t worry, most of us haven’t.

BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: Red appreciates that some holidays have historical significance, some have ancient traditions, and some are opportunities for one of Black’s unexpected, but often amusing and clever, comments, but May Day checks all those boxes.

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