Banter Bites

Talk About Email Overload!

And Red thinks she receives a lot of emails from her sister, Black. Well, that's nothing compared to the approximately 1,000 emails a day that Dr. Fauci received during the height of the pandemic.

BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: The release of thousands of pages of Dr. Fauci's emails has generated a remarkable amount of media coverage, each putting their own "spin" on it (has anyone compared it to the Pentagon Papers yet?) and, of course, Red sees things very differently than Black.

Red, the straight-A- student, knew there was no way she'd read through the mountain of emails made available through the Freedom of Information Act but was curious what all the fuss was about. It didn't take long, whether just through scanning the headlines or watching a few video clips, to see that there were a handful of key take-aways. But her theater degree kicked in when Red wondered if an alien from another planet appeared (well, UFOs have been in the news lately), if they would think Dr. Fauci was a celebrity scientist given his cult status or a political traitor specializing in scientific espionage.

Regardless, Red couldn't help but wonder (out loud to Black) why any of us "mere mortals" would feel compelled to read through such an enormous volume of emails. And, Black's response?

Remember the word problems we did in school? Here is a new one … if the average email Dr. Fauci received consisted of 100 words, which would be relatively short and to the point (this paragraph contains 67 words), and it takes two minutes to read 500 words, how many hours would it take to read 4,000 emails? Yes, the answer can be calculated, but who cares?

Well, if nothing else, Black's approach to things is consistent – pragmatic and sarcastic. And Dr. Fauci's also consistent. From the smattering we've seen, his emails "read" like he comes across on TV – humble, logical, unemotional, and polite. But, just as would be expected if culling through thousands of someone's emails, some may be interesting, but most would probably be boring. Of course, Black can't help but mention another thing to consider,

Remember when you were going through your "crisis" and I was explaining some financial topic to you, and I declared that, "You are my best student. Ever." Technically that statement was accurate, although, at that point, you were also my only student. So, there is no way to know if quotes from the emails have been taken out of context without going back to the source documents. And, personally, I have much better things to do with my time.

Black certainly brings up an excellent point. We all have more important things to do than spend our weekends on electronic gizmos, so we respectfully request that you stop reading this … and find something more important to do …

No matter what holiday you may celebrate, Red can’t help but quote a line from one of her favorite Christmas songs, “Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Let your heart be light. From now on, your troubles will be out of sight.”

And Black can’t help but point out that the song wasn’t introduced in a Christmas movie but in the movie "Meet Me In St. Louis."

Wishing you a merry everything and a happy always!

This is one of Red’s favorite Banter Bites in large part because of Black’s “corny” puns, but also because fresh corn is a summer staple – whether cooked on the grill or in the microwave, whether eaten on its own or as a primary ingredient in refreshing summer salads


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