| I know it wasn’t your kind of movie, but I can’t stop thinking about the Barbie movie. |
| It is if I look at it as a “research project” versus pure entertainment. |
| Of course, you did. But I do understand. I know Sawyer was very excited about going to the sneak preview the night before it officially opened, not only to be entertained but to watch it through the lens (pun intended) of her classes at Belmont since she’s majoring in Creative & Entertainment Industries. |
| I know she was excited to see it again with us. It is one of those movies where you will pick up on different things with each viewing. |
| So, does that mean you’re going to see it a second time? |
| Not sure. Once may have been Kenough. |
| Cute. Sawyer mentioned that she and a few of her friends tried to buy the tie-dye sweatshirt Ryan Gosling wears in the movie that says “I am Kenough,” and it’s sold out. |
| The movie has been a marketing machine and I am fascinated by all the co-branding. And, how Mattel is not only trying to change how we look at Barbie, but also rebranding itself. |
|
Unlike you, I want to
enjoy movies. Although the theater major
in me can’t help but critique them. But I’m
not the least bit interested in the business side. |
| Well, the actors and writers strikes may change that. Regardless, all I was going to say is that most people think of Mattel as a toy company, and with the release of “Barbie,” it is becoming more Disney-like in that it is an intellectual property (IP) company managing franchises. That also happens to sell stuff. Lots of stuff. |
| I guess that explains why it’s a full-blown Hollywood movie with big-name movie stars. And directed by Greta Gerwig, a “serious” and well-respected director. But what made you go see it? Growing up, I don’t remember seeing you play with Barbie dolls. I know I didn’t. |
| Does hanging out with the boys next door and tying firecrackers to Barbie dolls count? But, I do have one Barbie doll pristine in her original box. |
| Are you messing with me? Or are you going to say it was an investment purchase? |
| Neither. When I was racing the Ferrari Challenge, my crew gave me Ferrari Barbie as a gift. I put her on the shelf next to my various racing awards and paraphernalia. |
|
Did they mean it as a compliment or a gag gift? |
| Hard to say, as I was the only woman racing the series. But, I did not ask. What was important was how I saw it, not how they did. And, that is why I wanted to see the movie. I had been reading how Gerwig was determined it would not be some “fluff” piece but a work of art and a commentary on society and women. It is an impressive objective, and not one you would associate with Barbie. |
| Based on the records being broken at the box office, millions of people wanted to see it. Although I’d guess most just wanted to be entertained. |
| I was impressed with how Gerwig had something for all women – whether an anti-Barbie feminist or a Barbie fanatic. The real debate is her messaging about men and patriarchal societies. |
| And that’s just it. It’s about so much more than Barbie. It’s about society and its expectations of women. And men. Women’s expectations of women. Women’s and men’s expectations of each other. |
| I thought it was brilliant how Gerwig basically said, “Ken, welcome to our world,” when he started lamenting about feeling like a “second-class citizen” or being in a supporting role. |
| I know! But what I found so poignant was the scene towards the end of the movie when Ken is trying to explain to Barbie how he only exists because of her, and she tells him he needs to discover who he is, that he has an identity that’s not tied to being part of “Barbie and Ken.” |
| Do you think that is a generational thing? Do people still believe their identity is tied to their significant other? |
| Trust me, they do. And it’s not just women. The other day Sawyer told me about a guy friend of hers who had been in a relationship with one of her girlfriends. They recently broke up, and he’s having a really hard time letting go, admitting that he has “lost himself” in her. Sawyer told him he needed to see the movie because he’s Ken. |
| Interesting. I would not have thought to use the movie for relationship counseling. But, I would in terms of self-realization, especially Gloria’s monologue about the challenges of being a woman. |
| That really hit home. And although I totally support all the messaging, I do wish there weren’t quite so many. |
| In the movie? Or, in real life? |
Want to read other columns? Here's a list.
For many of us, Labor Day marks the end of summer (temperatures aside), and as we switch from a summer holiday mindset back to the “real world”, we can’t help but feel overwhelmed.
You don’t need us to tell you how falling back into a work or school routine can be challenging, especially if you’re facing a backlog of tasks and responsibilities. And, if that wasn’t bad enough, the “silly season” is just around the corner. (Red has been seeing Halloween decorations since mid-July, which means Thanksgiving and all the winter holidays aren’t far behind.)
But you don’t need us to tell you why you feel overwhelmed; you need help dealing with being overwhelmed.
When our new website goes live next year, one of the major sections will be THE DAILY HELP, where you’ll find easy-to-implement tools to get your day back on track and feel more in control.
But that doesn’t help you … NOW. So, here are a handful of our favorite posts to help you deal with daily challenges we all face. (Red admits that she picked the ones she felt she needed to reread.)
- Black’s Time Management “Secret” ... Is Worth Repeating (Time Management)
- It's happened again ... I can’t see my desk there’s so much paper on it. Help! (Piles of Paper)
- How Do You Communicate? Blah-Blah-Blah Or Bullet Points? (Communication)
- Expect Reality, Not Perfection (Relationships)
- Don’t Confuse Time Alone With Time Away! (Stress)
P.S. – Wondering why we haven’t mentioned money? Well, stay tuned, as we’ll have a post dedicated to DOLLARS & SENSE in early November as we get closer to the holidays. (FYI, our subscribers get sneak peeks before we post online.)
| We’ve been posting new content on our website multiple times a week for what seems like forever, so it will be strange to only post a few times a month. |
| And, do not forget we also have been “feeding the beast” known as social media. But, if it makes you feel any better, we will still be issuing our newsletter every week and providing our followers with inside information on what the New Year will bring – a new website … and our new approach to Red & Black. |
| I’m so excited as it’s going to be fun, animated (in more ways than one), and help people take control of their lives vs. their life controlling them. Which, to some extent, is what we’ve always tried to do. |
| Yes, except our current site has almost too much information, and you do not know where to turn first. Or, where to go if you are looking for specific help. |
| I know when I first had my crisis, I turned to you, looking for you to tell me what to do. Instead, all I got was questions. Lots and lots of questions. But those questions were how you helped guide me. I think that’s why our book became a bestseller … because people could join me on my journey. |
| And, it was formatted so they could follow along versus trying to find the information they needed somewhere in the hundreds and hundreds of posts on this site. In trying to provide useful information, we inadvertently overwhelmed people. |
| As if life isn’t overwhelming enough! That’s why I’m excited about our new approach, although some things will never change … like all your sarcasm and unusual perspectives. Not to mention all your racing analogies. |
| Or, at the risk of sounding warm and fuzzy, which is your area of responsibility, our commitment to try and help people. |
| Isn’t this where you usually mentionhow, for years, our lawyers and accountants tried to dissuade us from focusing on philanthropic endeavors? They were fine when Neiman Marcus launched our book, as it was intended as the basis of a sitcom, but then the detours began, and we went from our first speaking engagement into the education and criminal justice worlds. |
| Life never goes as planned. But, hopefully, the next few months will as we focus on our rebrand and our new site. |
| And creating posts every other Thursday on select topics and themes – whether it’s the start of the “silly season” (I still cannot believe pumpkin spice “everything” is already here) or just the daily challenges of life. So, are we going to post sneak peeks of what the new Red & Black world will look like? |
| Excellent question. |
| That's not an answer. |
|
Then, I guess you will just have to wait and see
… |
If you, or anyone you know, have FOMO (Red’s daughters had to tell her that means “fear of missing out”), sign up for our weekly newsletter by scrolling down to the bottom.
Life can change in an instant, and the repercussions not only begin instantly but will forever change your life. And often, the lives of others.
However, there was no way to know on that rainy Friday, Red’s crisis would be the start of her journey to take control of her life instead of letting her life control her. It wasn’t surprising that Black’s version of that day was very different, but that may have contributed to the creation of Red & Black … and our journey filled with many detours …
So, curious how Red & Black started? Well, on the surface, it would seem our journey started with the launch of the book I co-authored with my sister, What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired! But we all know that what leads up to the "start" of a journey can be just as important, and sometimes even more important. It's like a vacation, the actual vacation falls somewhere in the middle – after the planning and packing and before the post-vacation "recovery" phases that always seen to include lots of laundry.
But I digress (warning, I do that a lot). The real beginning of the journey started on a rainy Friday in January 2004.
(The year's important as the economy was strong, and also because it was before we all were constantly accessible via smart phones.) I was preparing dinner, while my two young daughters, Natasha who was 5-years old at the time, and Sawyer, who was 1-1/2-years old, were playing in the family room section of the kitchen.
I didn't think about it at the time (that happened several hours later and for a long time after that), but I would've described my life as happy and secure. A stay-at-home mom with two beautiful, healthy daughters. A marriage to a husband who was a good father and a good provider. He had a great job with a major company which resulted in us living around the world, and he had dedicated his life to it for almost 25 years.
But at 5:00 p.m. that Friday my life was changed in an instant … when he came home and told me, totally unexpectedly, he had been fired. Forget about long-term plans and dreams for the future. How were we going to get through today and tomorrow and next week?
Even today, I can remember how I felt as if it was yesterday. I was terrified. I was devastated. Emotionally I was a wreck. I could've killed my husband for doing this to the family. Yet I felt incredibly sad for him. His entire career had been dedicated to the company, and he didn't deserve this. I was ashamed. Yet, I had to be strong and put on a brave face for him and our daughters.
And what was I going to tell people? I'd eventually figure that out, but first, I had to tell my sister – the one person who knows everything about my life and who I talk to almost every day. I thought I was a strong person and well-educated, but I wasn't sure I had the skills to handle this. So, I did what I thought best … I sent her an email telling her that I needed to talk to her as soon as possible. That something serious had happened to Nick. (Obviously, I was in shock because as someone who likes to blah-blah-blah, I neglected to provide any details).
And then, I logged off my computer … never realizing that my journey had just begun.