I don't even know why I'm bringing this up, especially since I'm well aware that compared to so many other people, I'm incredibly lucky. Not to mention, you probably won't understand what I'm feeling because let's face it … you're not a mom, you seem to work 24/7, and you never take a vacation. In other words, you're "immune" from so much of what us "mere mortals" are going through. | |
If it were not for the fact that everyone is staying at home, I would think you were about to ask for time off for a summer vacation. Or, maybe you are planning a stay-cation? | |
Neither. I was doing my usual disclaimer before I lamented that August will be over before I know it. And when I look back over the summer, I'm going to find myself asking, "What summer?!" |
The summer of COVID-19. It will be hard to forget. | |
I know. There are so many people, as in millions, who are truly suffering – whether physically, financially, or both. | |
Do not forget "mentally" as almost everyone, whether they realize it or not, is experiencing increased levels of stress. But, we are both very lucky. So, beside the obvious, what is your issue with this summer? | |
Now I feel guilty saying anything. But it's as if summer never happened. I feel like ever since corona-craziness hit over spring break, every day, every week, every month, just feels the same. With the only thing changing being the level of stress. | |
Sounds like that Bill Murray movie. I think it was called "Groundhog Day." | |
Exactly.
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So, if someone asked you what you did this summer, what would be the first thing you would say? | |
Working seemingly non-stop on Red & Black. | |
Ok, I suspect if I had asked you that question a year ago, you probably would have said the same thing. | |
Maybe. Probably. But with us trying to get our new website up and running, it has been even crazier than normal. | |
I understand. However, we have the luxury of having always worked from home, so that aspect of life did not change. For some people, their work life is now extremely different. | |
Funny you say that. I was talking to a good friend and mentioned just that, which led to us talking about when Nick was unexpectedly fired years ago. All of a sudden, he had not only lost his job, but was home all the time. It changed the dynamics of our life literally in seconds. Nothing was the same from that moment on. | |
There is an understatement. And, I remember our conversations about how to explain it to the girls, who were very young at the time. Including the concept of working from home. | |
Yes, but even years later, once divorced and "doing" Red & Black full-time, it was challenging to work from home over summer break. And that was without all the complications related to the coronavirus. | |
I know how much COVID-19 affected Sawyer going to camp this year. Not only in terms of the weeks you stressed over whether to allow her to go, but also all the precautions that had to be taken in advance and in preparation for her return home. | |
This year was extremely different from the last 11 years. Especially because, on top of all the new rules and safety precautions, it was her first time as a camp counselor. I'm glad it worked out, otherwise she'd have gone stir-crazy at home since I was restricting a lot of her normal "outside-the-house" activities. | |
Yes, I could tell the months of staying home was getting to her. If it had not been for camp, it would have been a daily battle for you – trying to find the balance of keeping her safe yet also allowing her a life. | |
No kidding. But I'll say this, being stuck at home, Sawyer started cooking more and really enjoyed it. And I did too. It not only helped occupy her time, but she made dinner some nights. And they were delicious. | |
Do you still barbeque a lot? | |
Oh, yes. We're doing lots of barbecuing and lots of home cooking. I'm not quite ready to eat out in restaurants, and take-out is nice, but gets expensive. | |
Funny thing is that your eating habits sound old-fashioned. Back when families used to have meals together at home – instead of everyone grabbing something on the go. | |
Well, we're all stuck at home. What else are we supposed to do? In fact, if anything, I feel like we're eating too much. | |
If it makes you feel any better, that is extremely common. Many people turn to food, especially comfort food, to cope with stress. | |
I don't know if it being "extremely common" makes me feel any better about it. No more so than if you told me it's "extremely common" to feel stressed out about the coronavirus and the fact it seems to have taken over and changed everything. Including summer. | |
So to recap, this summer is filled with stir-crazy and/or bored kids, juggling work and summer break, barbeques and home cooking. And, if I had to guess, you probably had an overly optimistic list of things you wanted to do this summer that is not getting done. It sounds to me like a normal summer. | |
Yes, when you put it that way. I regret even starting this conversation, but can't help how I feel. And just because we're extremely lucky compared to others, it doesn't change the fact we still have to deal with the situation. | |
No argument there. However, I was merely addressing where this conversation started, which was you stating that you felt like you did not have a summer. | |
OK, so I did have a summer. But, as you pointed out, in so many ways it was just more "extreme". I guess it shouldn't surprise me that you'd see that. After all, as I often say, you're a bit more extreme … | |
I find that comment extremely … accurate. |
If you find yourself feeling, like Red, that in the scheme of things you've been extremely lucky this summer, consider reaching out to help others that are suffering. For example, Black donates to the local Feeding America Food Bankas the need for food has skyrocketed.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | As much of a history buff as I am, I’m embarrassed to admit that for a long time, I didn’t know March was Women’s History Month. But now that I do, I’m amazed by all the inspirational stories of women’s remarkable achievements. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Too bad Natasha and Sawyer do not still live at home; it would be fun to start a conversation by asking them what women they find inspiring. |
Red assets.rebelmouse.io | I already know who they would pick. The first woman to race the road course at Indianapolis Motor Speedway. And I’d have to agree with them. Your Ferrari racing has made an impact on so many people. But especially girls. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Until you mentioned it several years ago, I never thought about that. In the 1970s, I was one of the few women in business school. I then made a career in the male-dominated oil and gas industry. I am used to being a “token” female. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Trust me. I watch people whenever we’ve done speaking engagements. It’s predictable ... we put up the family tree, and Natasha and Sawyer get awws, but your two racecars get everyone’s attention. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | A Ferrari and vintage Porsche usually do. I appreciate that not many women race cars, but as I often say, “How hard can it be, boys do it?” |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | That always makes me laugh. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | It is a factual statement. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | I’m not saying no, but it definitely makes a point. That girls can do anything. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Well, I have always felt that way. Looking back, my role model growing up was Marlo Thomas in “That Girl.” |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | The late 1960s TV sitcom? Seriously? I have to admit I didn’t watch it as it never really appealed to me. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Maybe you should have. Until then, women on TV shows were either someone’s wife, someone’s mother, or someone’s secretary – but never someone independent. Playing an aspiring actress living on her own in New York City, it was easy for me to relate to as we grew up just a short train ride away on Long Island. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | But she wasn’t real. She was a character on a sitcom! |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Regardless, it changed my perception of women. Here was a single woman with dreams and aspirations. And, ambition. She was willing to try new things and willing to fail. She put her career ahead of a traditional marriage with children. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | That may have contributed to why I didn’t watch it. I always wanted to get married and have children, and in a perfect world, would be a stay-at-home mom. I like tradition and history. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Does “Gone With The Wind” count as history? Growing up, the character of Scarlett O’Hara was my favorite movie character. Still is. She was a dynamic, independent woman who did not leave her fate to others and pushed the boundaries of her time. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Another fictional character. Don’t you think real-life women make a greater impact? |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Inspiration comes from different places for different people. And, at different stages of our lives. Funny thing is, and I did not realize it until decades after “That Girl” was off the air, Thomas had formed her own production company, Daisy Productions, to produce and own the series. But, the ultimate badass was Lucille Ball. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | I’ve always loved “I Love Lucy” and have probably seen every episode multiple times, giving me years of laughter and enjoyment. But that’s not how I’d describe her! |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | She was much more than an actress and comedian; she was a trailblazing producer and very shrewd in business. She became one of the first women to own her own TV production company (she bought out Desi Arnaz's share of Desilu Studios several years after their divorce), but also produced such TV classics as “The Untouchables,” “Mission Impossible,” and was even behind the original Star Trek TV series. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Wow, I had no idea. Talk about an amazing woman and role model. At the risk of repeating myself, she really did prove girls can do anything. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Of course, we can. If we put our mind to it. It is all about mindset and perspective. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | True. But what I find amazing is you don’t see how you’re a role model. Your entire life is full of examples of doing things girls – and women – traditionally didn’t do. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | I did things I wanted to do. Plus, telling me I could not do something made me even more determined. It never dawned on me that someone might think it unsuitable or “wrong”. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Not that it would have made any difference. You’ve never cared what others think about you. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | And, I doubt that will ever change. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Well, you should care. At least, about the impact your racing has made on young girls. I’ve seen you do in minutes what parents have tried to do for years. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Sounds like a bit of an exaggeration. |
Red assets.rebelmouse.io | Really? A friend of mine, a single dad, called me after his daughter saw you and your racecar at a Make-A-Wish event. For years, he told her she could be whatever she wanted, never getting a reaction. That night, she came home and said, “Hey Dad, I met Natasha’s aunt, she races cars, I really can do anything.” |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | It is the power of showing versus just telling. |
Red assets.rebelmouse.io | So, you admit that you’re a role model! |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io |
Never.
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Looking for ways to celebrate Women’s History Month? Spend some time learning about and celebrating women’s accomplishments, including these female trailblazers who changed American education, these women who were pioneers in medicine, and these history making female scientists. Or, it can be as simple as ““women helping women” by sharing motivational stories, offering words of praise and encouragement, or becoming a mentor.
Were you like Red and shocked when the actor Chadwick Boseman died at the age of 43 after battling colon cancer for years? Cancer isn’t only for older people, and recent studies show more people under 50 are getting cancer. (Doctors aren’t sure why but suspect it may be due to less physical activity, more highly processed foods, and new toxins.) That’s why cancer screenings are more important than ever!
February may be Cancer Prevention Month – but we need to do it all year! Every year. And is why we’re rerunning last year’s post …
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | I know that cancer isn’t the “death sentence” it used to be when we were growing up, but it’s still a very scary word. Especially if it’s heard “close to home”. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | When we were young, the word was rarely said. And if it was, it was whispered or referred to as the “ c-word.” |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Kind of like when I had my two miscarriages. No one wanted even to acknowledge, let alone talk about, them. Which made it all the more difficult to get through it, although intellectually, I knew it was not uncommon. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Unfortunately, neither is cancer. It is the second-leading cause of death in the world, surpassed only by heart disease. But, at least, it is no longer a taboo subject. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Please don’t make this about numbers. It’s about people. Which you should know. I’m sure you remember when Daddy was diagnosed with parotid gland cancer , which luckily was treatable. And I’ve had skin cancer, although I was very fortunate, it was caught early and easily treated. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | OK, I will not quote statistics, but it is important to realize that although cancer affects many people, that is all the more reason to try and prevent it. Or, catch it early. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Very early. I’m not sure I ever told you this, but when I had squamous cell carcinoma confirmed on my nose, it wasn’t because of an annual body screening. It was because I just thought something wasn’t right, even though I had gone to my family doctor and was told it wasn’t anything to worry about. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | I thought you were always extremely conscientious about your annual cancer screenings, whether mammograms, Pap smears, or body checks. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | The first two, absolutely, ever since I was in my 30s. But it was only when I went to a dermatologist to check my nose that I realized the importance of having full body screenings, too. Especially since redheads are more susceptible to skin cancer. So, yes, now I go on an annual basis, although it was on a six-month basis for several years after I had to have Mohs surgery . |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Well, having routine cancer screenings, whether due to standard recommendations , because you think something is not right (after all, who knows your body better than you), or due to family history, has contributed to a decrease in cancer mortality rates . But, you do not want me to talk about numbers. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | I don’t, but that’s great news! It just shows you how important it is to be proactive. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Exactly. And, as we learn more about cancer, we can adjust our lifestyles to lower the risk of getting cancer. For example, think of all the people who quit smoking to lower the risk of lung cancer. Of course, advances in medical treatment have made a huge difference. And, given my involvement with Make-A-Wish, I have watched with pure joy how the cancer death rate among kids and teens has dropped dramatically. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Wow, I had no idea! That really makes you stop and think, and makes me think about the cancer stories in movies and TV shows. And before you roll your eyes, and tell me my theater degree’s showing, it does make a difference when a subject like cancer is reflected in storylines. It lets audiences understand it on both an intellectual and emotional level. Which is very powerful. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | It is. When you think of the movie “ Love Story,” unless you read the book, you did not know that Ali McGraw’s character had leukemia. But, around the same time, there was a “made for TV” pseudo-documentary/movie, “ Brian’s Song ,” which is the first movie I can remember that talked about cancer. It made it an acceptable topic of discussion. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | I’m impressed you remember those movies. There’ve been so many since then, not to mention celebrities who tell their cancer stories. But cancer being in the mainstream makes it so much easier to discuss. Not just as a society but personally, as I’ve taken advantage of those opportunities to talk with the girls about the importance of early detection , something Mommy never did with me. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | It was a very different time. Cancer was a “bad” word and potentially a “death” sentence. Today, the future is brighter, but it needs to be part of routine conversations. |
Even though Red’sthe warm and fuzzy one and Black’s extremely pragmatic, we both think of hearts on Valentine’s Day. Just not in quite the same way …
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Happy Valentine’s Day. And before you say anything, yes, I know you don’t celebrate holidays, so just humor me. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | But, I do “celebrate” February being American Heart Month since heart disease is the leading cause of death – for both men and women. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Gee, that’s one way to turn a “fun” holiday into a real downer. Today’s supposed to be about letting people you love and care about know that you’re thinking of them. Think Hallmark cards, squishy teddy bears, chocolate hearts. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Do I have to? I rather think about eating well and exercising. I would think you would want to make sure you are around for the people you care about. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | I do, and the irony is that I know what to do . I just can’t find the motivation to keep it going for more than a few days. But when it comes to eating well and exercising, nothing seems to deter you. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Because every morning, I walk into a large closet filled with size 2 clothing. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | That’s funny. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | It is the truth. I have always been a clothes horse. Now, decades later, I have a significant investment hanging in my closet. And, since almost everything is timeless and classic, I would be extremely annoyed if it no longer fit. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Well, even if that’s something us “mere mortals” can’t relate to, at least it keeps you motivated. I just don’t have anything like that in my life. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Really? I can name two things. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Well, I’m not sure Natasha and Sawyer would want to be referred to as “things”, but I see your point. I think I did a better job staying fit when they were younger and truly needed me every day. Plus, back when I was cooking for them, I was more focused on healthy eating. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Those are excuses. Are you saying that now that they no longer need you as cook and chauffeur, they also do not need your life experience and unconditional love? Especially as they face the challenges of adulthood. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Ok, now I don’t know whether to feel guilty or sad because I’m not taking good enough care of myself to always be there for them. At least, if I’m lucky, for the next 30 or 40 years. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | How about stop being so dramatic and just start taking better care of yourself? Do you remember the airplane and oxygen mask analogy? |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Absolutely. It was one of your more clever trick questions. You asked me if I was on a plane with the girls and we lost altitude, causing the oxygen masks to drop, would I first put the mask on myself or the girls. I answered, “The girls, of course.” You then pointed out that if I didn’t take care of myself first, I wouldn’t be in a position to help them. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | And everyone else that might either need you or want to have you around for a long time. But, it is your call … you can make smart decisions now or regret it later. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Well, that’s brutally honest. But it has motivated me to go for a walk and think about how I’m going to not only begin, but maintain, a “new and improved” lifestyle. I guess, in many ways, I’m now saying Happy Valentine’s Day to myself, not you. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Mission accomplished. |