| Well, since it’s February, I guess we’ll want to talk about Valentine’s Day or love. |
| Or, not hating. |
| Excuse me? I know they say there’s a fine line between love and hate, but I’d prefer a “feel good” topic. |
| But, sometimes “not hating” can be about hope, perseverance, and finding meaning. |
| Care to connect those dots? |
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| Think about all the personal stories recently in the media as part of International Holocaust Remembrance Day. |
| They were incredible! I found myself in awe and admiration as I listened to Holocaust survivors and, although you’d think they’d want to forget what they went through, they were determined the world should “never forget.” |
| They were stories of hope, not hate. |
| You’re right. I didn’t hear one word about hate. But I saw the love between a 98-year-old survivor, Lily Ebert, and her great-grandson, Dov Forman, as together they created TikToks to fulfill the promise she made herself while imprisoned that, “I will tell my story.” |
| A story that has now reached millions of people, including younger generations who may not be familiar with the Holocaust. A story that not only “warns” of what can happen but also shows the importance of hope and determination. |
| It’s similar to the video Natasha sent us of Alina Peretti, who had sterilization experiments done on her at Auschwitz, but instead of condemning her captors, she focused on how she survived. I had to smile when, in that very British understated way, she said, “Bloody hell, I’m very lucky that I came out of it.” |
| Again, not a hateful word. Just explaining what she experienced (the experiments did not prevent her from having children), and amazement and gratitude that she survived. |
| I’m not sure I could be that understanding, that generous, that brave. I think if I had survived such atrocities, or had family that had perished, I’d be full of hate. |
| The problem with hate is it is contagious and becomes a vicious cycle. If you find a reason to hate someone – their skin color, religion, sexual orientation, political opinions, whatever – and those who are targets of hatred, in turn, hate their haters, it will never end. |
| True. But it takes a special kind of person to not only “turn the other cheek” but go out of their way to confront hate with hope. |
| Like the Italian street artist who uses spray paint to cover up graffiti of swastikas and racial slurs with images of food. Replacing hate with art. |
| When I first saw the subject line on your email, “Swastikas & Cupcakes,” I thought it was another one of your strange connect-the-dots, not a “feel good” story. |
| No, those are two things even I could never connect. |
| What I found so inspiring, besides the obvious, is that the artist said, "The important thing is to rediscover values that we may have forgotten … We must remind ourselves of these values." But how does one do that? Can it even be done? |
| Yes, but it takes a conscious effort. And, what better time to begin than Valentine’s Day? |
| I’m sorry, but do I need to remind you that Valentine’s Day is about chocolates, flowers, and greeting cards? And if you’re lucky, maybe a romantic dinner. |
| Sorry, but that is the commercial side of Valentine’s Day. Although brands are feeling pressure to allow customers to “opt out” of Valentine’s Day ads and promotions. |
| Are you kidding me? I’m not sure I want to know the logic behind that, but suspect it has to do with the whole “let’s not offend anyone” culture we now live in. |
| Basically, as brands bombard you with marketing, they want to appear to be sensitive that “celebrating relationships” can cause stress, and even depression, for some people. Similar to how this year, you may find Mother’s Day harder than in the past. |
| Fine, but Valentine’s Day isn’t only about romantic love. I can remember when we were growing up, Daddy always gave us those heart-shaped boxes of chocolates and a card. And you’ve always given the girls Valentine’s Day gifts. |
| Because I believe Valentine’s Day is about showing someone that you love them. Or, are thinking of them. This year, my quarterly teeth cleaning happens to fall on Valentine’s Day, so I plan to buy heart-shaped cookies for the office to let them know they are appreciated. |
| I hope they’ll be sugar-free ones. Seriously, you might be the only person who gives their dentist’s office something for Valentine’s Day! But I guess there’s no reason why we all can’t think about someone whose day we can brighten. Even if it’s just a phone call or text message. |
| Exactly. Rediscovering values we may have forgotten does not have to be as extreme as turning hate into love by turning swastikas into cupcakes, but we all have the ability to make a difference. One person at a time. |
| I think you’ve inspired me. This Valentine’s Day, I may “show some love” by sending cards to people just to let them know I’m thinking of them. |
| Good idea. I wonder if Hallmark has any cards that say, “Happy Valentine’s Day … I may not love you, but the good news is that I do not hate you.” |
Want to read other columns? Here's a list.
How you celebrate July 4th may change from year to year (Red will still enjoy a quiet holiday, but this year will be reading as it may take all summer to get through “War and Peace”), but what should never change is remembering WHY (one of Black’s favorite words) we celebrate as well as the sacrifices made to live in a free country …
| This is going to be a very unusual July 4 th for me, with neither girl being home. Natasha always hated the fireworks, but Sawyer would insist we do all the traditional things – barbequing, lots of watermelon, and then watching the fireworks in the Texas heat and humidity. So, this year, I plan to make it a really “cool” holiday … staying in the air-conditioned house, watching a movie or one of my TV series, and celebrating my day of independence from any “mom” responsibilities with a big bucket of freshly popped popcorn! |
| Well, everyone celebrates differently. But, when I think of Independence Day, I think about the challenges our Founding Fathers faced when they drafted the Declaration of Independence , especially as they did not always agree on issues. Challenges our nation continues to face (it is a holiday, so I will not get into the increasingly divisive aspects of politics). And, I cannot help but wonder how many people realize the extent of the sacrifices made by those who signed it in exchange for our country’s freedom. Which is why, as we celebrate July 4th, we need to remember, |
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We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
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What do you get when you cross Flag Day (June 14) with June being Effective Communication Month? Well, if you include Black in the mix, you get one of Red’s favorite memories … and a unique way to think about the importance of communicating – whether in your personal or professional life. And especially if you’re in a racecar!
| This past weekend, I noticed a bunch of flags on my street and wondered why since July 4 th is still almost a month away. But this morning, I learned that today's Flag Day. |
| Well, for someone who likes to decorate for the holidays, I would have thought you would have known all about it. |
| I've heard of it, but I never really thought much about it, let alone when it is. I knew it had to do with the American flag, but it surprised me that it has nothing to do with Betsy Ross, which legend has made the first flag, although it seems there's no evidence to support that. |
| If you want an interesting "story", read about why the American flag is called Old Glory . Regardless, the American flag, like all flags, communicates a message. |
| I know you like to connect odd dots, but only you would see a connection between flags and communications. |
| Not really. In the case of the American flag, they needed something to communicate a new nation fighting for its freedom . But remember when I gave Natasha a set of racing flags years ago? |
| How could I forget? It was a very difficult and challenging time. And although you had already made me realize that different people like to communicate differently , the problem with Natasha wasn't so much how to communicate with her as figuring out when. We were frustrated and walking around on eggshells because we never knew when she was in a good mood or a bad mood, when it was safe to talk to her, and when she needed to be left alone. |
| Sometimes flags are the perfect way to communicate a message when words are not an option. |
| Leave it to you to use racing flags to solve what seemed like an impossible situation in a way that was not only clever but appealed to her because of her love of cars and racing. And we know where she got that from! |
| It just seemed logical. As did the cheat sheet where I basically "translated" the racing meanings of the different color flags for your use. For example, in racing, a green flag can either be the start of a race, a re-start, or just displayed to communicate safe racing. With Natasha, it would mean it was "safe" to talk to her. In racing, a yellow flag means caution and to slow down, which needs no further explanation. |
| I remember her telling me, quite emphatically, that a black flag means "Go away." Which made me laugh because it just seemed so, well, appropriate, given that's something I could see you saying. |
| On the track, it means to go to the pits, usually because you are in trouble. So, I cannot argue with your comment about it being appropriate for me. But, keep in mind that a red flag means to "Stop!" |
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There’s much debate about the role America should play in world politics and standing by our allies, and we can’t help but wonder … how many people look at history before forming their opinions? Which is why we feel so strongly about remembering D-Day (and are rerunning the post below), which is about so much more than just a day …
| I still can’t believe you didn’t know what D-Day was. |
| All I knew was it had to do with World War II and beaches. And, required lots of strategic planning. Remember, I am not a history buff like you. |
| Or a movie buff. There has been an assortment of D-Day movies, and I wouldn’t expect you to have watched the older movies, like “ The Longest Day” with John Wayne, but I figured you’d have seen “ Saving Private Ryan .” |
| The Tom Hanks movie? It was a great war movie, but from what I remember, it was about the search for a particular soldier during WWII. Although I remember the opening scene showed the horrors of war. Regardless, I do not get my “history” from movies that might take literary license for the sake of storytelling, even if Steven Spielberg’s movies are mostly accurate. |
| That opening scene WAS D-Day. |
| I know that … now. I always remembered D-Day fell on June 6 because Mom and Daddy got married on June 6 (1950). And, almost 40 years later, you got married on their anniversary. |
| Well, that’s ancient history. And unfortunately, my marriage wasn’t as successful as D-Day. Although I’m not a WWII expert, D-Day’s also known as the Battle of Normandy and considered the beginning of the end of the war in Europe. It was an incredible turning point and changed the course of the war . And history. |
| I have always found it fascinating how a singular event can turn the tide, not only through its success in the moment but in its ability to inspire people. How bravery, perseverance, and the willingness to fight for what you genuinely believe, to the death, if necessary, is extremely powerful. |
| Are you talking about D-Day or more recent events, such as the war in Ukraine? I can draw parallels as they’re both about fighting for freedom in Europe, which also impacts the world. But it’s as if people refuse to learn lessons from history. And we live in a world, in a country, that’s becoming more and more polarized, with seemingly fewer and fewer people willing to put the greater good above themselves. |
| That is why days of remembrance, such as D-Day, are so important. I may not have known the specific details, but that does not stop me from appreciating and respecting the sacrifices that so many made for our country. At the time, those soldiers may not have known the far-reaching impact of their actions, or even whether they would be successful, but that did not lessen their commitment and bravery. |
| I can’t imagine the feeling of responsibility and willingness to die for the future of the free world. Historians regard it as one of the greatest military achievements ever, but not to lessen its significance, and I’m almost embarrassed to admit this, but I’ve never known what the “D” in D-Day stands for? Maybe Departure, Decision, or even Doomsday? Although I could make a case for Democracy, Determination, or Daring. |
| How about “Day”? And no, I am not being sarcastic. “ D-Day” was an Army designation used to indicate the start date for a specific field operation. So, it does not stand for anything. At least, not at the time … because D-Day now stands for so much. |
To honor the significance of D-Day, consider taking a few moments for these inspiring quotes.