Well, last year’s post about food “Best By” dates doesn’t have a “best by” or “use by” date. Although Red’s still amused that it was Black, of all people, since she makes reservations, not dinner, that let her know it had nothing to do with safety but were merely suggestions (here’s a great “cheat sheet”). But Red was recently shocked when Black told her that Red’s collection of spices might be the germiest part of her kitchen.
When it comes to a food’s expiration date, maybe you only think you know what that means …
BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: Red expected the simple task of cleaning out our mother’s pantry would be a mindless, yet productive, way to spend her Saturday; whereas Black was concerned it might be a day filled with sad memories – we were both wrong.
Our mom had passed in mid-December, and Red had decided the first part of her house she’d tackle was the walk-in pantry. And while Black thought it was an odd place to begin, she figured it would go quickly as she expected it would be a well-curated collection of expired products, and couldn’t help but wonder if some of them dated back to when our parents still lived in our childhood home in New York. (Black remembers them shipping pantry items and old plastic food containers when they moved to Texas decades ago.)
For years, Red had wanted to “freshen up” the pantry or, at the very least, throw out anything “dated” more than a few years ago, but our mom was a self-proclaimed depression-era child, so wouldn’t waste anything. Now, Red faced row upon row of cans of salmon and tuna next to jars of gefilte fish and mayonnaise, much of which expired when her younger daughter, today a college freshman, was still in middle school. And she couldn’t help but feel an odd mix of bewilderment and amusement, with a bit of “yuck” thrown in for good measure.
As Red started to send Black photos with the stamped dates to “prove” why she was trashing so much (and to help ease her guilt of getting rid of things that our mom thought worthy of saving), she noticed that some items had “expiration dates” while others had “best by,” “sell by,” or “use by” dates, and wondered about the differences, and was surprised when Black commented,
Actually, except for baby formula, those dates are not federally regulated. So, I think of them as mere suggestions. I can remember explaining that to a former boyfriend who was trying to clean out my pantry. Think about it. What can “go bad” in dried pasta or matzo? Items that, in many ways, start off stale.
At first, Red started to panic because if that were true, she’d have to reevaluate the mini grocery store of old, expired items she’d already trashed. But then she stopped and quietly laughed to herself when she realized it didn’t matter as the dates were so far in the past that it was a no-brainer. And the good news is that when it comes to the pantry, if you wait long enough, some suggestions become obvious decisions.
If you think today’s politics are ugly … let’s talk about a man who named himself “dictator for life” of the Roman empire, and is then assassinated by a group of senators, including his best friend. (However, there’s a “pretty” part – Cleopatra was his mistress.) Food trivia and leadership lessons aside, the fact July is named after him is the perfect excuse to rerun one of Red’s favorite Banter Bites …
Quick! If someone says "Julius Caesar," what comes to mind?
BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: Almost everyone has heard of Julius Caesar, but how many of us really know much about him, or at least that's what Red starts to wonder when she receives the usual flippant, but still accurate, reply from her sister, after feeling very proud that she knew that July was named after the famous Roman.
Which is what got Red to realize, much to her surprise (shock, if truth be told), that even as a straight-A student with a love of history, that when it came to Julius Caesar, a famous historical figure and possibly one of the greatest generals and statesmen of all time, she couldn't tell you dates or battles or anything "historical" associated with him.
Even as a theater major in college, she never read Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar," although she knew just enough about the play to know that it was where the fortune teller warned Caesar to "Beware the Ides of March." Instead, her knowledge of Caesar came from her love of movies.
My first, and probably my most enduring, memory is of a brilliant general who not only commanded armies as he conquered lands far from home but was a great statesman who was also involved with one of the world's most beautiful women. And while he was Julius Caesar and the woman was Cleopatra, to me, they'll always be Rex Harrison and Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra, a movie almost as controversial as the general himself.
And Black? Besides knowing that Caesar Salad was invented by a different Caesar, she appreciates Julius Caesar's leadership skills and way with words,
There is much we can learn about leadership from Julius Caesar, whether on the battlefield, in politics, or in business (start small, take risks, communicate well), including what ultimately led to his death (always consider worst-case scenarios, never get complacent or arrogant). Many of his quotes speak (pun intended) to his powerful way with words, and the ability to not only deliver a message but to inspire (and story tell), with my favorite being, "I came, I saw, I conquered."
We don’t know about you, but we hate bathing suit shopping. So, we can’t imagine what it must be like if you’re looking for a gender-fluid one. And why would anyone get their panties in a knot (as Black would say) if Target sells them? Or Pride-themed merchandise? But clearly, people did. Which makes us ask … why should Target have such a difficult time supporting their LGBTQ+ (there are variations of this acronym) customers? And, more importantly, why can’t we let people celebrate who they are without facing a backlash of prejudice and violence?!
Rainbows are beautiful and suggest something magical. But during Pride Month, they also become a symbol of love, support, and understanding for the LGBTQ community.
BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: Until yesterday, when Black explained it to her, Red, like many people, didn't realize that Pride Month evolved from a tragic event, the Stonewall Uprising, into both a tribute and a memorial before it became a worldwide celebration of the LGBTQ community.
In fact, Red believes that if she hadn't pursued a theater degree at college, she might have gone decades without getting to know someone that was gay. However, looking back, she's sure that she had high school classmates who would later be able to identify themselves as LGBTQ, but back then had to keep it a secret in fear of being bullied, ostracized, or possibly even disowned by their families.
I was a freshman at Wake Forest University, a Baptist school in North Carolina in 1980, so not someplace you would expect to find an outwardly gay person. However, I spent almost all of my time at the theater department, which is where I first met "Bryan." You couldn't help but become friends with him because he was so incredibly funny and talented. But there was something else about him, and although initially I couldn't quite put my finger on it, I soon realized that he was gay. I had grown up sheltered (that's an understatement) in a neighborhood that was almost exclusively Jews and Italians, and now was at a school that was even more "white bread" than that, but my only thought was, "Ok, cool, now I know a gay person."
Black, being five years older and having gone to school in New York City and then London, was more worldly than Red (that's not saying much), not to mention she tended to date much more than Red did.
I was at London Business School, and this was 1978, back when private clubs and discos (like Tramp's and Annabel's) were all the rage. One of the other Americans, Bob, a very handsome Black man, invited me to go clubbing with him. I got all dressed up for a night on the town, and the minute we walked into the first club, I felt like a kid in a candy store – it was filled with incredibly good-looking men, and I seemed to be one of the few women. The odds were in my favor. But then, the penny dropped, and I asked Bob if this was a gay club. It was, and I think it was his way of letting me know he was gay (or maybe he thought I already knew), but I thought it cruel. It was like being in that candy store, but being told you can look, but you cannot touch.
As Baby Boomers, our opinions and attitudes toward LGBTQ were influenced by our first encounters, so we saw them as people who merely had different sexual preferences. Full stop. Red's daughters, who are 18 and 22, laugh at the fact their mom and aunt can remember their "first time" as so many of their friends are LGBTQ. No big deal.
So, what can we each do to celebrate Pride Month and show our support? Of course, Red loves the idea of cooking, watching movies, and reading books, while Black knows there are many highly effective workplace activities. But what's most important is finding a way to commemorate and bring awareness to a population that includes our families, our friends, our neighbors, our communities.
No matter what holiday you may celebrate, Red can’t help but quote a line from one of her favorite Christmas songs, “Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Let your heart be light. From now on, your troubles will be out of sight.”
And Black can’t help but point out that the song wasn’t introduced in a Christmas movie but in the movie "Meet Me In St. Louis."
Wishing you a merry everything and a happy always!