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Version 1 Not A Trick Question ... Can Charity Be Selfish?

Chapter 15: I Need A Warning System

It’s easy to forget that charity is a year-round event, not just for the holiday season or when natural disasters happen. Since today’s International Day of Charity – Red couldn’t help but remember when Black explained her long-time involvement with Make-A-Wish (see below) … and realizing that helping others might end up being one of the best things you can do. For others. For yourself.

Typically, when Red asked Black questions, she received questions in return. Or flippant comments. When Red asked her about charity, and specifically Make-A-Wish, she got straight answers, and that alone got Red’s attention. Before this conversation, Red thought her sister’s involvement with Make-A-Wish was very generous, both of her time and her money, but attributed much of it to the fact she had surpluses of both in her life. But once Black made her realize that her involvement went back to her corporate life, years when she might have had spare money but was working ridiculous hours, Red gained a new respect for Black’s commitment. But when Black said how it had become her “reality check” on life, Red began to understand that we all need something to help us remember what’s genuinely important.

P.S. – Charity and helping others remain an important part of our lives (and, much to the chagrin of our accountants and attorneys, drive much of our work in the education and criminal justice worlds). Black’s long-time commitment to Make-A-Wish set an example for Red’s daughters when they were growing up, and made them aware of how important it is to not only appreciate what you have but to think of others. And whether it’s an ongoing commitment to a single organization, helping various charities throughout the year, celebrating targeted donation days (such as #GivingTuesday or World Wish Day), or when specific natural disasters or humanitarian needs require immediate aid, charitable giving (whether money or time) – can make all the difference. Not only to the recipient, but as Black pointed out to Red all those years ago, for yourself.



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I’m curious about something, though. As children, we were never exposedto charity, so what got you involved with Make-A-Wish? Even Natasha has askedme about Make-A-Wish, because she has seen the kids’ artwork at your house andrecognizes the logo from seeing it on your race car.


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It was years ago. I was invited to play in a Make-A-Wish golftournament, and at the dinner some of the kids came out and told their Wishstories. They mentioned their illnesses and the doctors and the hospitals inpassing — as if it was just a minor detail in their stories. But when theytalked about their wishes, it was with such excitement and pure happiness thatit was overwhelming. A few weeks earlier, I had received a huge bonus at workand so I was feeling flush with cash, and when I saw the power of a wish — thehope, the joy, the strength it could provide — it made me look at money in atotally different way. When you meet children who are seriously ill and yourealize no amount of money can “fix the problem,” but yet something as simpleas wishing for a puppy or to meet a celebrity can make such a huge differencein their lives, then you are reminded of what is really important in life. Andwhat is not.

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Wow. I don’t think I have ever heard you thispassionate about anything.

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Probably not. Make-A-Wish has been an importantpart of my life for a long time. I know I am very fortunate in many respects,but sometimes I get wrapped up in day-to-day life and forget that. I may haveproblems with one of the cars, or I am annoyed with Larry, or it is just a badday, Make-A-Wish reminds me that my problems or frustrations are minuscule inthe scheme of things.

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Thisis a side of you that I rarely see. I’m impressed. And proud.

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Thanks,but Make-A-Wish does far more for me than I do for them. Partly as a substitutefor not having children of my own, but more importantly as my reality check onlife. It is my constant reminder of what is important. And although I may notbe able to cure the kids, the fact I can make their lives a little better byhelping grant wishes is the least — the very least — I can do in return.
"Too Darn Hot" - Kiss Me Kate | Ann Miller (HD Print)

Regardless of why summers are getting hotter and hotter … they are. Which is miserable for everyone. But, don’t sweat it, we’re rerunning this post as a reminder of what you can do to make the heat just a little more bearable – for you and others. Plus, Red loves the movie clip …


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I know everyone’s talking about the record-setting temperatures because everyone’s experiencing them, but I’m so tired of it being so damn hot out. Or, should I say “too darn hot,” in honor of one of my favorite all-time musicals, “Kiss Me, Kate”?


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You said it was worse when you lived in Hong Kong and Shanghai because there was little difference between day and evening temperatures and humidity. At least here, it cools off a little once the sun goes down.


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But not enough. I know I’m getting older, so that doesn’t help, but the heat seems more oppressive, and I’m not only lethargic but cranky.
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“A Dictator & His Mistress” might have been a catchier title, but that doesn’t change the fact that the combination of history and food makes this one of Red’s favorite Banter Bites. While Black loves the leadership lessons (from a dictator?!). Curious? If so, read on …

Quick! If someone says "Julius Caesar," what comes to mind?

BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: Almost everyone has heard of Julius Caesar, but how many of us really know much about him, or at least that's what Red starts to wonder when she receives the usual flippant, but still accurate, reply from her sister, after feeling very proud that she knew that July was named after the famous Roman.

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Image by TrendObjects for iStock

Red isn’t sure that her extreme fear of driving when there’s a risk of high water qualifies as PTSD (and it all started with Black – scroll down for that story!), but she does understand how debilitating it can be (regardless of what triggers it).

What’s interesting is Black picks on Red for many things (that’s part of the job description of a big sister), but not about this because – getting past the stigma of PTSD is tough enough. It’s why National PTSD Awareness Month is so important – not only for those who have PTSD, but for everyone.



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I love the new The Eyewall newsletter that keeps an eye (pun intended) on tropical activity in the Atlantic Ocean, Caribbean Sea, and Gulf of Mexico.


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You definitely watch the weather more than I do. But, I know that is because you have an extreme “fear” (or however you want to describe it) of driving in heavy rain and potentially facing road flooding.


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Borderline terror. Thanks to you.


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Me? I thought I was the one who taught you what to do when encountering high water.
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