Don’t Expect A Compliment From A Sarcastic Sister

Photo by Iam Anupong on iStock

I'll never forget the day. It was an "almost" ordinary day out on the golf course with my mom and dad during the heat of a Long Island summer. Now, if "Long Island" conjures up images of stately manors on the North Shore (think "Great Gatsby") or beachfront mansions in the Hamptons (think Robin Leach and his popular show "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous"), you can put those out of your head. I'm not talking about some fancy country club golf course, just a regular public course.

I loved the game ever since I learned to play as a teenager, and although I never got to play while at college (Wake Forest, which was renowned for its golf program, with its most famous alumni being Arnold Palmer), I'd try to get out as often as possible when I was home. I wasn't a phenomenal player but had a decent game and natural talent. And most of the time, I hit it pretty straight, so one of the things I enjoyed was walking down the middle of the fairway, pulling my clubs along (no fancy golf carts on this course), appreciating the day and the sport.

On one (very rare) occasion, my sister came back to New York to visit, as she moved out of state as soon as she graduated from business school. She also played golf, but unlike me, who relied on natural ability and played for fun, she worked extremely hard at her game, was overly competitive, and played "business golf". The result was that she was a far better player than me, although I was holding my own on that day.

As Black often says, the scorecard contains only numbers, no editorial. And it would ultimately show that she'd beat me, but as we were each walking up one of the last holes toward our respective balls, in the heat of a late summer afternoon, with the sun at our backs, I was secretly hoping that she'd be proud of me. So, after I hit my fairway shot onto the green, I heard her call out to me, and my hopes were high,

Hey, Red! I was watching you hit that shot, and well, I have been watching you all afternoon, and I have to say … you have the whitest legs I have ever seen, or are you wearing white pantyhose?

I wasn't sure whether to laugh, cry, or be angry. Or to just roll my eyes as it really was something only my sister would say. And to this day, I'm not even sure if she had even noticed how close I came to beating her and how well I played – "upping" my game driven by her much better game.

But I also know that I can never look down at my very pale legs without laughing just a little at how a lifetime ago (or so it seems), she was so right. Recently, when she treated me to my first pair of Birkenstocks, I stood in the store trying them on, and before she had a chance to say it I told her … Yes, I do look like I have on white hose.

P. S. – I feel it only fair (pun intended) to have a P.S. for a P.S.A. – Long ago, the harm of the summer sun wasn't as well known, but in the years since, we've learned how important sunblock is. Year-round. So, whether you're a redhead who never tans (I used to cycle between being extremely pale and burning red and back again) or someone who does tan, take care of your skin!

sisters

Memory Lane

National Literacy Month: Life, Literacy, And The Pursuit Of … Making A Difference

Photograph of Jackie Aguilera courtesy of Jackie Aguilera

Every time we meet with Jackie Aguilera, we’re still in awe of her expertise and experience in adult education. She continues to bring creativity and passion to her students, while also raising awareness that literacy is about so much more than reading and writing. September is National Literacy Month, so we’re re-running this post because it’s even more relevant today than when it was first written.

Although we have an update: Jackie’s no longer with the Mayor’s Office of Adult Literacy, but given the high demand for her expertise, we wonder if she’s going to take a position with another entity or share her knowledge as a consultant. Regardless, we know she’ll remain a bright light in the world of adult education.

red headassets.rebelmouse.io	I have a confession to make, which I’m sure will make you roll your eyes.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	Interesting caveat and probably true.
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	Every time we meet with Jackie (Aguilera) from the Mayor’s Office of Adult Literacy and hear what she’s doing in the world of adult education, I feel like I’m back in school and having to take copious notes.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	I am more than happy to send you “homework assignments” as I come across relevant articles and research.
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	Thanks, but no thanks. I’ll stick to taking notes. But that does explain why you’re so knowledgeable about literacy.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	But, reading information is very different from being at the forefront of literacy innovation. And, if we had never met Jackie, I never would have realized how literacy is more than the dictionary definition, and encompasses more than just reading and writing.

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Memory Lane

A Train Of Thought With Many Stops ... Across The Generations

Underlying photo by Charles Forerunner on Unsplash

Imagine combining the wisdom and experience of older people with the energy and enthusiasm of younger people. And what better time than during September, which is Intergeneration Month. The need and impact of bridging generational divides is even greater today than when we first published the story below (and Encore.org has changed its name to CoGenerate to give equal billing to all generations).

It's funny how one thing can remind you of another thing, sometimes in an obvious way, other times in a "train of thought" (or what Black calls "connect the dots") way. And in our case, that "train" has two passengers.

It began with Red reading a Texas Monthly article about younger tech-savvy people helping older lower-tech people schedule COVID-19 vaccines. Touched by the story, Red mentioned it to Black, who immediately thought of a recent email she'd received from Encore.org about a 31-year-old man living in Hawaii using technology during the isolation of the pandemic to befriend a 60-year-old woman living in Texas. We started talking about the power of one generation helping another, which led to our Banter Bite, Young + Old = Solutions.

Our conversation then detoured (as they often do), and we started reminiscing about the profile Encore published about us. It's not only one of our favorite pieces, but one we share with others as it explains, in an entertaining yet concise way, our highly improbable journey into the world of education (and criminal justice). A journey that we now looked at from a slightly different perspective, or at least Red did …

Looking back, the journey of Red & Black is proof that the experiences and lessons learned by one generation can be shared with others. When Black first created our business plan, she saw us as a "Disney for baby boomer women" because we're baby boomer women. The plan also included younger women (and men) as target audiences, but Black admits that was more "marketing" than actual expectations. Obviously, she was wrong. But there was no way to know we'd have such an unexpected impact (and ripple effect) on so many demographics, from middle school students to senior citizens.

And that's how one article led us to the memory of another article, with a few stops – and important lessons – along the way.

P.S. – For anyone "older" (that's a relative term, but we'll use 60-years-old as Red enjoys the fact she's "under" while her older sister is "over" that threshold), who's looking for a second-act (an "encore") with purpose we suggest you check out Encore.org.

intergenerational

Memory Lane

Remembering ...Silly Names And Unconditional Love

Red's two Labradoodles

Photo taken by Red

May is National Pet Month, and it’s a bittersweet time for Red as she lost Moo (her black Labradoodle pictured above) just before the New Year. It’s the first time she’s been without a pet since Woof arrived (see below for original post from 2021, including the third “silly name”), and not a day goes by that she doesn’t miss the companionship and unconditional love. So, she tries to focus on all the wonderful memories, knowing that one day she’ll welcome another pet into her life …

assets.rebelmouse.io	Well, this month marks 18 years since you changed my life, so I wanted to thank you. Again. For bringing such happiness into the lives of the girls and me, although some heartbreaking sadness, too. But there's nothing like unconditional love.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	OK, but can you tell me what you are talking about?
assets.rebelmouse.io	Do you remember when I moved to Houston after living overseas, and we started going to the Hyatt Hill Country in San Antonio for Memorial Day weekend? You were married to Larry, and his girls were young, and Natasha and Sawyer were even younger. Well, in 2003 you asked me if it was OK if you got us a puppy.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	You had always talked about getting a dog but wanted to have children first. The timing seemed right, but given your allergies, the options were limited. Until I learned about a new breed, well technically a mixed breed, originally developed in Australia to be hypoallergenic guide dogs.
assets.rebelmouse.io	I'll never forget you showing me photos of the most incredibly adorable dogs I'd ever seen. The fact Labradoodles were half standard poodle, which was what I had initially thought we'd get, and half Labrador Retriever was amazing. But only you could find the perfect dog from an article in a business magazine.

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red headassets.rebelmouse.io	But that alone is such a critical part of all of our lives and can make the difference between struggling and success. Although I never stopped to think about any of that before we met Jackie.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	The funny thing is we first met her because of financial literacy.
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	Yes, and I remember wondering why you decided we should go to a Houston Money Week meeting. And while our book was approved as a financial literacy textbook by the (Texas) State Board of Education, I still didn’t think we were qualified to talk about the topic.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	But, we did go. And, we met Jackie.
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	That’s something I’ll never forget. I remember I let you do the talking when “newbies” had to introduce themselves, or I’d have talked their ears off. After the meeting, this confident but very approachable woman came striding across the room, extended her hand to me, and introduced herself. At the time, she was Literacy Coordinator at EastSide University.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	All I remember was her energy, commitment, and passion for financial literacy. Not usually a topic discussed with such enthusiasm.
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	There’s an understatement. And not only did it take me by surprise, but I hate to admit it, it was contagious. Especially once we started working with her.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	Another confession?
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	Maybe. Looking back, I still shake my head in amazement at the incredibly creative ways she made personal finance, typically such a “boring” topic, come alive. And how she used outside-the-box approaches to making learning relevant.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	And, fun. I still cannot believe she was able to turn something as basic as one of our bookmarks into an hour-long interactive class – using it to not only get conversation going, but to introduce critical life skills.
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	I can’t believe how she incorporates our animated “teasers” into her literacy presentations. Using them to make a point in a light-hearted and fun way. Even if it points out how I was a poster child for not being “literate” when it comes to an assortment of life topics.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	I dislike the term “literacy” because it makes people feel like they are “illiterate” when they do not know something. In reality, they may never have been exposed to the information or given an opportunity to learn it.
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	I can tell you first-hand that initially I felt stupid, until you pointed out I was merely sheltered. But that’s given me so much more empathy when I think of other people in the same position I once was.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	Which is why she had us do an assortment of “ConversationStarters” for various literacy topics that she uses – ranging from where this all started – financial literacy – to digital literacy, health literacy, and even news literacy and environmental literacy. To make the topics accessible in a non-threatening way.
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	All I know is that she made me realize that literacy impacts every aspect of our lives. And it has an amazing ripple effect as it then lets us share our knowledge with our families.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	You forgot to mention that Jackie made us aware of National Literacy Month, although I am not sure it highlights the full extent of the concept of literacy. But, anything that raises awareness is important.
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	I know it’s changed my life in many ways. And not only in terms of Red & Black, although being able to help her, albeit in a small way, help give people the desire, the confidence, the motivation, to learn is something I’ll always be grateful to Jackie for.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	Since we are strolling down memory lane, I cannot believe you did not mention how working with Jackie all these years has led to a deep respect for her and the friendship that has developed.
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	So, are you going to confess that you can be warm and fuzzy?
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Never. I was merely stating facts.

Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Fortune magazine. It was written by Andy Serwer back when he was Managing Editor (he now is Editor-in-Chief of Yahoo! Finance), and you never knew the topic – or angle – of his next piece. Sometimes serious, sometimes amusing, but always astute and worth reading. And, I actually saved that article.
assets.rebelmouse.io	Of course, you did. All I know is that starting with that day in the hotel, I was in love, first with the idea of the Labradoodle, then with the puppy pictures they sent us, and then with her. In fact, from literally the moment you and I picked her up at the airport and then came home and gently placed her next to an unsuspecting Natasha who was asleep on the sofa, she became the most loved member of the family.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	If only people were as good at unconditional love as pets. Anyway, not only are pets a source of love and companionship, but studies – and science – have shown there are proven health benefits .
assets.rebelmouse.io	Well, I don't need a study to tell me how much, over the last 18 years, having Woof, and then Oink and Moo, has meant to the girls and me. And although I still find it upsetting to think of Woof's early passing in 2007, and Oink having left us this past summer still breaks my heart, I'm so grateful for all the memories and love that's still there.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	I do not think we ever forget them. I still remember Mom's family dog, Buttons, a beautiful Irish Setter that Grandma Betty and Poppy Louie would sometimes bring to the house so she could run free in the backyard. She was almost as tall as me, but was very gentle, and always affectionate.
assets.rebelmouse.io	That's funny because our childhood dog, Yenta, was anything but affectionate. I know poodles have a reputation of being proud, and although I loved her, she wasn't the most lovable dog around. I just wanted her to be cuddly, but she wouldn't have any part of it. Instead, if a dog could put their nose up in the air and walk off with a royal air about them, that was her.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	I prefer to think of it as being stubborn. And, independent. Both traits of poodles. And, may explain why she and I got along so well.
assets.rebelmouse.io	No comment. Except to remind pet owners that this is National Pet Month. So, what better time to show your pet how much you love them than to celebrate with them?