If you asked each of us our favorite childhood book, Red would draw a blank, while Black would quickly reply, “The Little Engine That Could,” and then start repeating, “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.” But if you asked about our memory of the first book we read on our own, we might not remember the title, but it would be a Dr. Seuss book. And even though we both love to read, that would probably be the last time we agreed on what to read (see Red's original post below). Red prefers to read for enjoyment and escape (she’ll read online articles as “brain breaks” during the workday), while Black always seems to be “researching” something … and recently sent Red an article listing the benefits of reading because, in addition to our love of reading, we both love lists!
I LOVE to read, but I admit I have some quirks (although they seem normal to me). My favorite topics are biographies and history, but I'll make an exception for fiction that's historical or biographically "inspired". Nothing unusual there. And it has to be a good, old-fashioned, hardcover book. Unless it's just not available and then I'll "settle" for a paperback. (The thought of reading an e-book has never seriously crossed my mind.) Now, let's move on to the reading process … each page must be turned while keeping it absolutely pristine, so much so that when I finish a book, the spine's still perfect and you'd think that no one even opened the book, let alone read it. (I even did this with textbooks in college!) Why am I like this? No clue, but I am what I am.
Anyway, before I had children (when my "job" was being a corporate wife to an executive who lived around the world), I read a LOT of books, as in hundreds over the years. But once I had children, that number dropped dramatically to the point where I was lucky if I could find the time to read half a dozen books – not counting children's books. And after my sister and I began Red & Black, I've probably averaged a book a year. (Although I read and re-read the manuscript for our book countless times before going to press.)
So here I sit at my computer, writing this. I look up at my workroom bookshelves and see plenty of books that I've collected over the last years as a reminder that one day I'll get back to my beloved books. For now, I always have plenty of newspapers (they tend to accumulate over the week), magazines, and online articles to keep me busy as "brain breaks" during the workday or for the few minutes I can still keep my eyes open when I go to bed at night.
And I can't help but think about how different my sister, Black, is from me in so many ways – Including reading. For me, it's something that I love to do as it provides enjoyment and an escape, whereas she does it, in true Black fashion, to research and learn more about any given topic. (I can only imagine the business and non-fiction books on her bookshelves, although her contemporary décor has them hidden behind doors.)
So, what inspired me to even think about this in the first place? Last Friday morning she sent me an "empty email" – there was nothing but an attachment. And when I opened it, I laughed. Because, well, it just said it all. While also reminding me of my love of reading. And this takes us back full circle, not only to the image of this post but to the beginning of this post.
Long before we had an ABOUT page, readers met Red not only through the back flap of our bestselling book, What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!, but because her crisis was the book’s title! But a lot has happened since Black turned her crisis into a book — a brand — a business. Including a lot of growing up.
And Red? Still warm and fuzzy. Just a lot less sheltered.
WHAT WE SAID THEN
When we started working on the book, Red couldn’t find a photo of her and the girls, so they posed for one in the fall of 2004. Later, our book editor captured Red this way:
After getting a degree in Theater Arts, Red moved back in with her parents until she married an outgoing Englishman and followed his career around the globe. Now she lives in Sugar Land, a suburban city on the outskirts of Houston, Texas. Red is a warm and fuzzy mom whose life revolves around her two red-headed girls. With Red, it's all about the feelings.
WHAT WE DIDN’T KNOW THEN …
We knew Red was used to letting others take the lead. We didn’t know that once she took control, she’d discover how much she was capable of.
We knew her life revolved around her two red-headed girls. We didn’t know how much growing up was still ahead — for them and for Red.
We knew Red had learned a lot when her husband got fired. We probably should have known she’d want to use what she learned to help others.
And we described Red as “warm and fuzzy” and “all about the feelings. ”Still true. She’s just learned that sometimes warm and fuzzy isn’t enough.
AND THERE’S A STORY BEHIND THE PHOTO …
What makes this seemingly ordinary photo remarkable? Red’s in front of the camera!
She was almost always the one behind the camera, so when we needed a photo of her for the book, it had to be staged. In fact, she’s not even sure who took the photo.
At the time, it was simply a photo we needed. Looking at it now, it’s more than that. It captured Red in the middle of the life she’d always dreamed about — and when her girls were still young and being their mom was the center of her world.
She knew they would grow up. She just didn’t know how quickly that picture would become a memory.
A lot has changed since that photo was taken. Including Red.
Same family. Very different approaches to life.
Red is warm and fuzzy. Black is pragmatic and sarcastic.
- Red leads with her heart. Black leads with her head.
- Red wants to talk it through. Black wants to solve it.
- Red gives you the context. Black gives you the bottom line.
Which sounds more like you?
Which brings us to one of our favorite examples: When we had to explain the differences between us for the Introduction to What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!, Red wrote pages with her usual blah-blah-blah. Black gave the book designer a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet.
Funny thing is that over the years, readers have not only told us which of us they’re more like, but also gone so far as to identify the “Reds” and “Blacks” in their own families. We even had a few who nicknamed themselves (one was “Brown,” another was “Bald”).
So, are you more like Red or Black? Or somewhere in between?
| I know everyone’s always trying to find balance in their life. I thought becoming an empty nester would make that easier, but apparently not. The girls may be grown, but being a mom doesn’t end when your children move out. Between them, Red & Black, and my seemingly endless lists of things to do, I still struggle. | |
| And, as I am a die-hard workaholic who admits to not having a life, you think I have the answer? | |
| Excellent point. Never mind. | |
| However, I do have some suggestions … although I will preface it with, "Do as I say, not as I do." |
| At this point, I'll take whatever help I can get. | |
| Sometimes you need to make a conscious effort to stay present. And, by that I mean appreciate what is happening now instead of thinking about what is next. Or, reminiscing about the past. | |
| That sounds good, but it also sounds overly simplistic, not to mention highly optimistic. And where would I even start? | |
| Easy. It really is as simple as 1 – 2 – 3. | |
| Nothing's that simple. | |
| 1. SLOW down and look around 2. STOP using your gizmo and consider putting it away 3. GO spend time with family or friends, or steal some "alone time" | |
| Actually, that does sound simple. Now I just have to remember to SLOW – STOP –GO. | |
| Just imagine a traffic light. Plus, it would have the added benefit of every time you see a real traffic light, it will remind you to SLOW –STOP – GO. | |
| I should've known there'd be a car or driving analogy in there somewhere. | |
| Throttle on ... |

